You Can't Get Your Ex to Want You Back? Here's What's Wrong

Breakups can cause internal devastation in a lot of people. It can be totally soul crushing when someone we love chooses to walk out on the relationship because the effort to make it work isn't worth it anymore.

Right now, the only thing that can make you happy is your ex walking back through that door and back into your life. You want them to say that they made a mistake and that they want to try to fix things again.

This can actually happen. It's not just fantasy. Here are a few common questions about how to do it.

Q: I've tried all that I can to get my ex's attention. Nothing seems to be effective. I wonder how to get my ex to want me back as much as I want him back! What mistake am I making?

A: First, you must understand that you have no control over your ex's feelings, thoughts or emotions.

This means that every time you try to make your ex feel something about you or toward you, you are only pushing them further away.

Your ex needs a little time for themselves to ponder on life. If you keep contacting them, they can't get clarity. Apply the No Contact Rule right away. It will be good for both of you.

Q: I desperately want my ex back in my life. I'm curious about how to get my ex to want me back. I've already done the No Contact Rule and stayed busy, but what's wrong?

A: It appears that you're doing everything right except for one thing.

You're in the wrong state of mind to attract your ex or anything encouraging in your life. You used to just want your ex but now you need your ex back in your life.

When you need someone, you're totally relying on them to make you happy. You and your ex both wanted, not needed, each other when you got together for the first time. That's why it was so enjoyable at the beginning.

What you need is to keep working on improving yourself. Do the things that makes you happy. When you do this for long enough, you'll start to internalize feelings of self-reliance, self-esteem, and self-confidence. These will all help you switch from needing your ex to make you feel good to feeling good on your own and letting all your self-love spill over to attract your ex back to you again.