Your Biggest Relationship Successes Are NOT Going to Come Through Mindset..
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It’ll be THIS Instead.
I’m fired up about mindset this week because almost every relationship client from the online world talks about it almost immediately.
They wonder why they failed to solve relationship problems with mindset, no matter how hard they tried.
I wish they didn’t beat themselves up so hard about it.
The answer?
Hint: It’s not your fault.
Contrary to what you have been told by other love mentors that you have to focus on mindset, keep it pumping with positivity all day long, don’t be negative otherwise you’re miscreating and more like this..
THIS is what you have to do instead.
You’ve GOT to put your focus on learning how to regulate your nervous system in every place where there is emotional disconnection between you and your partner.
Look. I know how hard you’ve tried to think positive thoughts.
To pivot from what you see as negative emotions to be happy in love.
You’ve been to traditional couples therapists.
You’ve tried meditation.
You’ve been to medicine jou
eys and had some great highs, but no real integration afterwards (super common).
It’s not that you haven’t made a herculean effort or been diligent or hard working.
You have!
You just haven’t been empowered and supported in the ways that you really need to experience the soul satisfying love, sex and closeness you’ve been deeply desiring.
Please, release yourself tenderly from self blame, and get curious about how to embody what you need on a far deeper level.
I should know. I was stuck in this trap for years.
I went to one mainstream psychotherapist after another with my relationship issues. I tried Jungian, Internal Family Systems, Coaching, Mindset, NLP, Spiritual Practice, Reiki, Mindset.. And almost ALL the major couples therapies too.
And it was ONLY when I experienced very skilled nervous system regulation in the care of a skilled practitioner did some of my deepest relationship disconnection challenges start to unwind, unravel and finally release.
Very specific patterns were targeted deep in my body, in the language of sensation.
> thoughts, ideas and beliefs, located in the bodyrn> feelings, emotions, moods located in the bodyrn> upsets, disconnection, conflicts with my hubby all located in the body
And then, they were held, presenced, flowed, resourced, managed so I could tolerate them, and slowly, they unraveled, unwound (like untightened but you’d think maybe I was saying unwound like get not injured. (funny how they’re the same spelling.. hmm..)
Honestly, the freedom I’ve had to now create the soul satisfying love, sex and closeness I’m having had been beyond epic, beyond ideas and without a doubt waaay beyond mindset.
This is what’s possible for you.
Article author
About the Author
My heart and soul are on fire with walking with couples and those on the relationship journey, very often soulmates, create sustainable and soul satisfying sex, love and closeness with my S.U.B.L.I.M.E. ™ process that blends profound intuition with simplicity, elegance and root trauma clearing technology to regenerate the real knots of the couples journey with ease and joy (yes, it can be delightful.)
Known as The Intimacy Alchemist, and Creator of Soul-Satisfying Love, Sex and Closeness', Joanna turns 30 years & 30,000 hours of counseling practice into a simple system that helps couples bring back the loving they enjoyed as newlyweds… in as little as 2-3 weeks! Combining Non-Linear Movement, The Intimacy & Attraction Workshop, Secure Attachment and extensive Trauma expertise, she offers sessions, workshops, and retreats supporting individuals and couples locally and worldwide.
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