Your “Self-Awareness Score” is Directly Linked to Your Ability to Develop a Successful Intimate Relationship

Many who fail to cultivate a successful relationship often ask me “What’s the secret to succeeding”. As I explain to them that “the secret” is Self-Awareness, they often are surprised. They admit they have heard many “tips” and “words of wisdom” how to go about developing a satisfying relationship, but Self-Awareness? No, this is something they have never thought about.

LET ME THEN EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT I MEAN BY SAYING THAT “THE SECRET TO BEING ABLE TO CULTIVATE A SUCCESSFUL REALTIONSHIP DEPENDS ON YOUR SELF-AWARENESS SCORE”

If you have been trying for quite some time now to find a partner with whom to develop a satisfying intimate relationship, you have probably engaged with many attempts to achieving your goal: enrolled on dating sites; posted a well-written profile; rehearsed the “best-introductory-lines” to utter on first blind date; chatted with others and dated them, and so forth.

As part of your attempts at “improving your chances” you might have taken some self-scoring tests, curious to figure-out your emotional/spiritual score, stress level, dating skills score, and the like, hoping to use what you find out to your advantage and success.

You might have also resorted – out of eage
ess, determination, desperation or humor - to try your luck with on-line quizzes aimed at evaluating your “ROMANTIC DATING PERSONALITY”, your “MARKET VALUE” as a woman/man; your READINESS to embark on the dating scene again (after another failed relationship); the degree to which you SHILED YOUSELF with an armor in order to avoid being hurt again; the IMPORTANCE you ascribe to meeting a potential partner, and so on: the sky’s the limit (and yes, there are links to all of these on-line-quizzes).

But has any of them ever gave you some well-deserved tips – based on your PERSONAL SCORE – advising you which steps to take in order to foster A SUCCESSFUL INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP?

* Have any of these self-scoring tests helped you develop your SELF-AWARENESS?

* Assisted you in getting to know and understand yourself better?

* Enabled you to figure out what stands in your way from finding and cultivating the relationship you desire?

* Helped you understand why you are still single?

* Made you aware of what controls your attitudes, emotions, reactions and behaviors in and around relationships which drives you to sabotage your attempts at relationships?

* And last but not least - have any of these self-scoring tests enabled you to realize how you shoot yourself in the foot in your dating attempts and relationships and which steps you need to take in order to change and become empowered to cultivate a successful intimacy?

APPARENTLY NOT. OTHERWISE YOU WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN READING THIS ARTICLE.

THE QUESTION

What is MISSING in all these on-line quizzes? What HAVEN’T YOU done to become able to finally find a partner with whom to extend a date into a meaningful relationship?

THE ANSWER

These on-line quizzes apparently did NOT help you develop Self-Awareness and didn’t give you insights into the ways in which you sabotage your relationships.

JUSTIFICATIONS YOU MIGHT RESORT TO EXPLAIN YOUR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS

It is very likely that whenever you had another failed attempt at dating or developing a relationship, you justified it by using a variety of excuses:

* “It’s all because of him/her”;

* “I didn’t really want a committed relationship”;

* “The time wasn’t ripe yet”;

* “I’m too busy pursuing my career at the moment”;

* “What is, is”;

* “What meant to happen, happens”;

* “It is not in the books”;

* “He/she apparently wasn’t my soul-mate”;

* “He/she had too many problems”,

* And other excuses.

Placing the blame on “all these men”, or “all these women”, or on exte
al situations is easier than looking inwards and seeing your part in the failure of your dating and relationships-attempts.

DEVELOPING YOUR SELF-AWARENESS IS THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS WITH RELATIONSHIPS

Taking your time to develop Self-Awareness turns out to be your last chance at understanding what goes wrong with your attempts at relationships and finding ways to change it. It should have been your FIRST STEP – but well, better late than never.

SELF-AWARENESS helps you gain insights to what drives you to sabotage your relationships. It help you understand many factors you are NOT AWARE OF which drive you to harm your relationships:

* Your fears and needs;

* Your unrealistic expectations and fantasies;

* Your belief-system and attitudes;

* The Messages about partners and relationships you have unconsciously internalized,

* And other factors, all of which exert power over your attitudes, reactions and behaviors and drive you to harm your relationships.
DEVELOPING SELF-AWARENESS is, therefore, the way to understand:

* The ways in which you shoot yourself in the foot;

* The factors driving you to doing that;

* How to de-activate the power they exert over you;

* What you need to do in order to change; and

* How to become empowered to cultivate a successful relationship.
YOUR SELF-AWARENESS SCORE IS NOT ANOTHER FIGURE YOU GET ON YET ANOTHER QUIZ

Your Self-Awareness “score” is your level of self-knowledge and self-understanding. It is directly linked to your ability to cultivate a healthy and successful intimate relationship.
If you have been trying for quite some time now to find a partner with whom to develop a successful relationship but to no avail, developing your Self-Awareness will, in the long run, be the shortest way to achieving your goal.