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Browse every published article connected to Debi Berndt, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
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The holidays often bring up a variety of emotions. The expectation that we should be feeling jolly and grateful throughout the season can create a tremendous amount of pressure. Uncomfortable emotions such as stress or loneliness can have us seeking external ways to “fix it.” We look for joy in ...
Relationships and Our Minds Everything in the universe is created by one original substance. This formless substance or energy is neutral. It is the thought applied upon this substance that creates the thing that is imagined by the thought. Since you are thinking source, you can create anything ...
Abuse can come in many different forms – physical, emotional and even financial. If you are not sure if you are in a bad situation, review the different types of abuse and warning signs to see if you need assistance. 1. Physical abuse – This does not only apply to women or men who are bruised or hit by their partner. This can also come in the form of your partner forcing sexual relations or locking you up in a room with no escape.
Susan was excited about her date that evening. She spoke with Brian a few times over the phone and felt an instant connection. She called her girlfriends and her mom to announce that she finally had a date with a guy that could be the one. She arrived at the restaurant in her new black pants ...
The amount of money that flows into your life is directly related to your inner relationship with the dollar bill. Since childhood, we have been programmed to believe certain things about money. Money is the root of all evil, blessed are the poor, rich people are jerks, and so on. These old ...
Instead of living another year on autopilot, what if your New Year’s Resolution was to consciously create each day as you go through the year? Unfortunately, we often fall into the same traps and habits no matter how much we vow to make changes in our life. The reason for our struggles is that ...
Have you ever wondered why it is so easy for others to be in a relationship and you struggle so much in dating? Are you familiar with the feeling of being left out of your friends’ coupled dinners and feeling the ache of loneliness every Valentine’s Day wondering when it was going to be your ...
In these trying times, many are concerned about their jobs, investments and the future of our great country. According to the law of attraction, what you think about you create more of in life. Listening to the news and talking with friends and co-workers, your mind is constantly flooded with ...
Whether you are searching for the love of your life, on a mission to lose weight, or just trying to get your business off the ground, there may be a time when things are not moving forward. When feeling stuck, you may start to give attention to what is not happening and what is wrong. Focusing ...
You may think you are in control of who you want to attract into your life. You probably have a clear vision of the type of person that you desire. Having it down to a list of ten or more characteristics, you set your intention, visualize and wonder why you keep getting duds (or dudettes). The ...
Why are women so attracted to the bad boys? You want love, you desire love but when a nice guy shows up in your life, you feel like running away. The man has an impressive resume, wants everything in life that you do, but you cannot seem to stop obsessing about the jerk who dumped you last ...
A frequent complaint I hear from my clients is that the things they have been focusing on have not manifested yet. They are doing all the “right” things, believing in themselves, changing their attitude and listening to their self-hypnosis. Even though their thought process has changed ...
As Halloween approaches, funny costumes come to mind. Halloween always seems to bring out the wilder, crazy side of people. They feel free to express themselves during this season because their costume is a shield of armor. Why do people wait until a special occasion for permission to be ...
No matter who you are or where you are in your dating search, there is always at least one time when the guy you are interested in does not call. Sure, you had a great date and felt like you had a real connection. He said he would call during the week but the call never comes. You really ...
In your everyday life, you may get impatient with the person on the highway in front of you, the checkout attendant at the grocery store and the car in front of you who ordered the ultra-supreme wash that takes twenty minutes. Watching the clock in the mid-afternoon, wishing it was five o’clock and time to go home. The minds tell you that you would be happier somewhere else, you are going to be late or, worse yet, someone is going to be mad that you kept them waiting. You forget that there is nothing you can do to escape the situation that is causing the delay.
If you want to attract the love of your life, you need to make sure that all of your behaviors are congruent with that desire. Most singles find a man to fill in the void while they wait for Mr. Right to show up. I did this for years, hanging around Mr. Right Now's convincing myself it was ...
Online Dating - When and How much do we open up? I recently was interviewed by a writer on Match.com regarding the email communications between prospective online daters. It made me realize how our dating society has changed. In my dating days, I remember the difference in how men ...
When you think of getting in the “zone,” you might automatically think of an athlete. The zone is actually a state of mind that can be applied in any area of life. Whether you are going on a job interview, playing golf or having a first date, accessing the zone can help you be your best. ...
As I watched the debates over the last few weeks, I kept wondering, “Who is telling the truth?” Politicians create their persona and tout their opinions on issues based on what image is going to give them the most votes. The same with dating, most men and women go out on dates with ...
My coupled friends used to always give me reassurance that “my guy was on his way.” I tried to believe them but, after six years without a serious relationship, a strong sense of hopelessness was churning inside. For years I struggled with my perpetual aloneness and fought to keep my attitude ...
There is a point in every single woman’s life when she pauses and asks herself, “Why is everyone else finding a match but me?” She gets advice from her coupled girlfriends and is assured that she is desirable and there must be something wrong with them. Or, perhaps they have an intervention confronting her with the fact that she is just too picky. If this sounds like you, check out these top five mistakes women make when searching for Mr. Right. 1. Making him your “God” – No matter how good-looking, successful, charming and appealing he is, he is NOT better than you.
Many people have seen the DVDs, read the books, attended the seminars to attract romance, wealth and more, but still are not getting results. In the areas of money and love, so many have tied their hopes and dreams of finding that magic ticket to become a millionaire or meet the love of their life. The problem is not that the law of attraction does not work, but most people attempt to create from fear. Sadly, many self-help experts thrive on that fear to sell their products that feed the addiction of external gratification.
When starting a regular fitness regimen, we focus so much energy on the outer body that we forget to take care of our inner world. We look in the mirror or at the scale and mentally punish ourselves for not being good enough. Continuously thinking we are fat or unattractive only ...
Tip #1 – Revealing • Don’t give your whole story away on the first date. If you are meant to be together, you will have plenty of time to tell him about your life. If your stars are not aligned, there is no reason to share your personal history anyway. • Do reveal some tidbits about yourself ...
I have to admit that I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. After decades of being single, that date caused so much heartache for me and my single friends. Even now that I am in a relationship, I don’t like to celebrate because it never brought any joy for me. The holiday only put additional stress on me to be in a relationship (as if I needed any more pressure as I edged closer to 40). I used to dread the months between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day, filled with couple events only to serve as a reminder of my never-ending single status.
Instead of getting a tummy tuck or eye lift, you may want to consider these ten ways to increase your dating confidence for an inner makeover. 1. Be conscious of your self-talk. Identify the voice inside that doesn’t often speak nicely to you. Become a witness to those defeating thoughts from ...
When we are looking for our soulmate, we often have high expectations for each online date we go on. He is looking for love, you are looking for love - it has to be a match, right? Well, the problem with online dating is there are two types of men - the ones that are sincerely looking for a ...
During times of uncertainty in your dating life, you may often wonder what lies ahead. Is he going to be arriving in your life soon, or do you have to bear another wedding season at the singles tables catching bouquet after bouquet? In desperation, many single women consult psychics to discover ...
Lori called her best friend crying because Steve, the guy she had recently been dating, had told her that he did not want to see her anymore. She explained how he came on so strong in the beginning, calling every day, sending her flowers, telling her that she was the one and then suddenly he ...
In case you haven't heard of this new phrase, a "Cougar" is named used to refer to an older woman who dates men much younger than her. Cougars come in all types and the reasons for their particular fetish with the boys are varied. Some are content with having fun and others seek more in the relationship than what the young stud plans. An older woman may get involved with a much younger man right after a bad breakup or divorce. She may do this because she wants to heal the wounds after her husband left her for another woman or desires to simply feel good about herself again.
Most people who come to me for hypnotherapy have had enough of their specific issue and they are ready for a new approach. After years of trying various prescription drugs, talk therapy and other alternative remedies they still seem to have a difficult time changing their behavior. With ...
Many singles think they want a relationship, but are really afraid of commitment and intimacy with someone that really cares for them. These hidden fears from past hurts and possible abuse have put an armor of protection around their heart. They reject available men who treat them nice, while ...
I hear many stories throughout the day. My clients tell me stories of their childhood, recent break-up, new love interest, or the latest tragedy in their lives. We are surrounded by gossip and tales from our family, friends and even the media. The stories we share are simply an opinion based on ...
Most people that arrive at my office for relationship issues have recently gone through a painful breakup. They want to know how to cope with a breakup with their boyfriend, spouse or even just their latest fling. They experience bad breakup depression and wonder if there is a light at the end ...
Everyone has unlimited potential, but they seem to hold themselves back from their greatness. They get distracted, talk themselves out of their dreams as if they were unattainable anyway and ultimately feel unsatisfied. It is a tragic cycle of dreaming, getting disappointed and giving up. Most ...
This is a story I’ve heard many times. It is a good reminder of how to be judge-free of life’s events. A young farmer and his wife gave birth to a son in a small village. The villagers around him proclaimed, “What good luck! You have a son to help you in the fields.” ...
If there is one thing for certain, disappointment is a part of dating. Most people are in denial of this realization. They believe that they are going to join an online dating service and magically "the right one" will show up immediately. Many have that expectation because of the stories heard ...
The circumstances in your lives seem to happen by chance. You may blame your single status and dating bad luck on others and good experiences on random fate. The Law of Attraction states that your life experience is a direct result of your thinking. In order to change those ideas to attract the ...
One time or another, we all had an experience of jealousy in our romantic life. Whether we were cheated on, left for someone else or simply found ourselves competing with a girlfriend for the attention of single man, jealousy is an ugly feeling. The green monster makes us feel hopeless and ...
As father’s day approaches, many women either acknowledge and appreciate the gifts their fathers have given them or recoil because of how he “wronged” them. An important aspect of having a healthy relationship is to heal your relationship with your parents. Like it or not, the type of men that ...
When I read about the sweat lodge deaths at the event hosted by James Arthur Ray (”The Secret”) , I was saddened. My heart goes out to him, his well-intentioned program and those who suffered and died. This story is tragic beyond the lives lost, but of a greater failure in the self-improvement industry as a whole.
Have you ever felt ugly or unattractive? Sometimes people can feel that way if they put on a few pounds, if someone rejects them or after they acted out in anger. No matter what society determines as being attractive, I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way. They key is that you must feel good inside to really express that beautiful self out in the world. Here are some simple ways to access authentic beauty in the world and in your heart: 1. Appreciate those you love. Thank someone in your life for something nice they did for you or just being in your world. 2.
Love should come naturally, right? We should not have to rely on experts to give us dating tips, be more attractive or make better dating decisions. Isn’t that what our girlfriends are for? Unfortunately, most of the dating advice you get from others is incorrect or, worse, damaging to your love life. During my early twenties (my pre-awakening years), I was dating someone I really liked. My best friend was seeing his best friend and it was great. Unfortunately, my friend’s guy was being a little flaky and she was mad at him.
Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable you feel when you do something for the first time? Remember your first day at school, the first time you rode a bike or even your first day at a new job? Change can be scary and that is why people avoid it so much. The reason you tend to cling to the ...