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Browse every published article connected to Dr. Dennis Neder, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Dr. Dennis Neder, or search within this exact expert archive.
Dear Dr. Neder, How come in the old days women were considered sluts and freaks if they enjoyed having sex or watching porn? How come the girl had to stay a virgin until marriage but no one cared about the guy? Is it because men needed to know their wife was pregnant with their baby and no one ...
I really am in need of some real help I am a 19 year old man Last year I moved away from my first love who I dated for a year. I don't believe that I ever got over her. I went through a great deal of pain and grieved so much but I’m finding it tough to move on. I don’t understand how a person ...
How do I attract a woman for a relationship? During high school I tried to ask out 5 different girls over 5 years. I thought I was in love with each of them and told them this, but was turned down each time with a corresponding blow to my self-confidence. I finally just gave up on finding a ...
Hey Dr. Dennis – Hi and thank you for your help! I am single and I have been for 2 years. I’m a 30-year old woman with 2 part-time kids. I am attractive (though somewhat overweight), intelligent and I like to think I'm good company.
Dear Dennis: There’s this girl that I’ve liked since for 2 years. I've always made small talk with her but I’ve been too afraid to have a serious conversation with her. We recently did a group project together with me, her, and two other guys and she seemed to talk to me a lot more than she did either of them and one of them is fairly good friends with her.
Hey Doc! First off, I'm 21 and I stay near a pretty small town that’s big enough for a WalMart but the only "mall" in town has maybe 8 stores in it. Yeah, it’s THAT small. I got a girl's number a while back. We've only had maybe two real conversations during the last semester of college: one in person, and the other where we found out we have a lot of the same friends. Even with these few interactions, when I asked for her number over Facebook, she gave it to me.
Hi Dr. Neder, I met a girl (21yrs old) a little while ago, and have been going go out with her for 2 months. I now sense that she was on the rebound from another relationship; emotionally hurt and confused, but she does not make it clear to me that she is. This is affecting my relationship ...
There’s a new girl coming to our school this year. I want to make a good impression because I have a crush on her. Around school, I’m the clown, the guy who lightens things up with laughs but it usually involves embarrassing myself. I'm just too shy so its hard for me to ask her out or even talk ...
Hey Dr. Neder! I've been reading through some of your answers and one common piece of advice you give women is to not play stupid games. Girls do it all the time and 9 times out of 10, it completely screws everything up for them and she ends up not getting what she wants out of the ...
Dear Doc: I've known this girl for about a year now and I like her a lot. To cut a long story short, I've lost her twice now because of my lack of confidence which stops her from seeing me as more than a friend. She knows I'm interested and we almost had something but I pushed her away because of my fear of being inexperienced with women and messing up. Now more than ever I want to put aside my fears and try to be with her but I get stuck. I know the way she sees me changes a lot.
I was in a long distance relationship over the internet and it ended 5 weeks ago. Basically I screwed up in silly ways and hurt her. I quit for a day, but came back and after staying away for another day she added me again during that first week (she said she'll always love me.) Over the next week or so I tried to put things back together with her. I asked if she needed time and space and she said yes because she wasn't over things. We both were/are in deeply love. I was talking about our relationship with other regulars on the site and I know she hates that.
Dr. Neder: I am a 36 year old woman who has been single for 3 years and I'm tired of it. I feel I'm of average attractiveness, I have a good job as an accountant, I run (marathons even!), hike, travel, have lots of friends, etc. I often hear advice from my attached friends, but the advice is often conflicting. It's either, "Stop looking and you'll find the man of your dreams!" or, "It's hard work to date - get yourself out there!"
Hello Dr. Dennis, Where can I find a financially stable guy that is willing to commit? I live in New York and I'm 28 years old. My love life completely stinks. I keep getting my heart broken. I've always dated guys who were either commitment-phobic, game players, liars or weren't well established. It really upsets me because I feel like nobody really cared about me. Thanks for your help. Hello! There was a woman who used to give a seminar on, "How to Marry a Millionaire". As you might imagine, it's a very popular seminar.
Hi! I’ve been dating this girl for a year now, and she tells me tonight through the phone (long distance relationship) that when I approach her before sex I only approach one way and that’s climbing on top of her. She says I approach her like a horny virgin and I don’t turn her on and she gets frustrated. She doesn’t want to have sex unless she feels like having sex which is not very often. I need to know what I’m doing wrong! I only know one move and after a year I’m only now hearing about this!
Hi Dennis, I am a college sophomore and diabetic and I'm in a relationship with a freshman. I am a virgin but my girlfriend is not. I've told her that I'm not bothered by what happened in her past. We've tried to have sex on two occasions. The first time I was extremely drunk and we both ...
Dear Dennis: I wonder about this from time to time, but I figure that I need an answer from an insightful man in order to get a truthful answer on this: Do men respect women in general? Do men pity women in general, because of our vulnerabilities? Or do men have a certain "hard-to-explain" ...
Dear Doc: I like this girl at work. Our work is not related but we work in the same office. She is 12 years younger than me and I hold a senior position. Knowing all the stuff about sexual harassment all I did for the last 7-8 months was just look at her. She would look back and we would just ...
Dear Dr. Neder: I have been divorced for 16 years and focused most of that time on raising my two children. I have dated a few men however I seem to be attracted to losers. Now that my kids are grow I would like to find someone to settle down with again. It is hard to find single men my age. ...
Dear Dr Neder I have a sexual problem. I enjoy having sex, but it seems I never reach orgasm. It's really bothering me because I can reach orgasm only by stimulating the clitoris, but when I am having sex with my boyfriend it just doesn't happen. Could you tell me what can I ...
Hello Doc - Is a bookshop or a music shop a good place to ask women out? If so, how do you start a conversation? Wouldn't it be strange? You see, I haven't met anyone that great through friends or at bars and clubs. I also wanted to know what to do when either you or she is with a group of ...
Good Morning --- I really enjoy reading your website! I would like to know, why do men sometimes just cut you off (no communication) when they are dealing with their problems. Long story short, I met someone last April --- things started out great, but then I found out he had been separated ...
Hello Dennis: I recently started a graduate (doctorate) program where I have to keep a 3.5 GPA or else I will get kicked out. It's kind of a conditional thing...err sort of. So no guarantees I'm going to get my doctorate. You know what I mean. Also you can’t get any C, D, or F grades. So ...
Hello Dr. Neder: This last weekend, I bumped into an old friend that happens to be friends with my ex. She was with another friend with whom I hit it off really well. We all decided to go hang out for a while. She and I flirted quite a bit and we spent the entire evening together. She and I ...
A few months ago my boyfriend cheated on me. I stayed with him because I saw he was truly sorry. I look back now, and honestly regret not giving him time without me, to see how life would be without me even for a few days. He is starting to act like he doesn’t care as much again. I wish he would ...
Hey Doc, I have a question: why are women attracted to men (and not to each other)? I know what attracts me to women, women are beautiful and soft but I wonder what’s in women's brains that make them see men as more attractive than women? I can’t imagine my self kissing another man but why ...
Doc: I was with my girlfriend for 9 weeks before we split on Christmas day! Everything was perfect we loved each other had talked about holiday and kids and even where we were going to get married and moving in together but the problem I had was I never thought I was good enough for her so I lied to her about my financial position saying I had a lot more money tha I had.
Hi Dennis, From your experience, what causes a man to leave his wife for another woman? Such as Tom Cruise leaving Nicole Kidman for Penelope, and Brad Pitt leaving Jennifer Aniston for Angelina. What do you think was the primary reason? The "other" woman being more beautiful, sexier and more ...
Hi Doc! Why is it that when women turn men down for sex, they expect us to be understanding and caring, and when men turn women down, they flip out?? Here's the situation: I broke up with a girl I had been with, but have been able to remain minor friends. I know you don't think that's a ...
Hey Doc! I work with this girl I really like and I talk to her every time we have a chance. She is the reason why I still stay at my job. She is funny and she makes me have a fun time whenever we work together, but I don't know if she likes me. First off, she has a boyfriend, but it seems she ...
Dr. Neder, Hi, I am very interested in your help on this. I met my girlfriend freshman year in high school for the first time. We are currently in our junior year of high school and we have been going out for almost four months. We talk about how we will always be together and how we are ...
Do you find it difficult to approach women you don’t know? Most guys do so don’t feel alone. I’m going to give you the three keys that’ll make the cold approach easy, fun and very, very profitable. Key #1 – Practice talking to everyone, everywhere If the only time you try to talk to strangers ...
Dear Dennis, I met this incredible guy 6 months ago. He and I have much in common; we both work two jobs and I have two small children. Needless to say, our time is limited. We have not had sex yet because, (mostly by his request), we wanted to really get to know each other first instead of ...
Hey Doc: My fiancé just left me about a week ago she says she needs to find her self and figure out what she wants. We were together for just over 3 years and have our problems like any relationship. I have a hard time expressing my deep feelings and at times I am independent and distant I ...
Hi Dennis, I read your books, and like their practicality. I have one question of theoretical nature: why is it that woman usually do have had more previous relationships than men, although they are 'supposed' to be the more monogamous gender? Are they just trying a lot more short-term ...
My boyfriend and I are in our late 30’s and have been dating for over 3 years. Today, in a casual conversation we were talking about our future and he made the comment, "I was talking to someone about our situation and..." The gist was that he was talking to this person about saving money to buy ...
Dear Dr. Neder: This seems silly to me, but I am always in favor of a second opinion. My boyfriend of 1 ½ years and I are considering moving in together. Well, I suggested it and now it is on the table. You hit the nail on the head with your articles ...
Hi Doctor, I am getting to know a Christian girl. We have been going out for almost two months and I told her that I like her. In the beginning she told me that she was not interested in a relationship right now but was ok with being friends and she continues to go out with me. She answers my ...
Hello Doc: I like this girl in my class and everyday before I go to school I am confident about approaching her. Every time I get the chance to however, I get all stiff. Today for example, when I was sitting only a few inches from her I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her. Can you tell me ...
Hi Doc, I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now and we're both 18. She told me last night that she had cheated on me while on holiday recently. She said a guy kissed her, while she was drunk, and she only realized after a few seconds what was happening and stopped it. I ...
Do you know a sexy, strong woman at your place of work? Perhaps she’s a manager or business owner. Maybe she’s a salesperson that works with your company or she represents a vendor. Do you want to know a little secret about her? She’s very likely demure and submissive in the bedroom! What’s ...
Dr. Dennis, So I am about to tu 33. I’m financially stable and have a great career. But when it comes to dating I don't feel like I’ve found the "1" so I am starting to think about having a baby on my own... scary. I know it's not the ideal idea. Trust me, I imagined having met Mr. Amazing ...
Hello, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 11 months. Just the other day he tells me that he thinks we should just remain friends and nothing more. Two days later he called me and we talked about our relationship and he told me that I do make him happy and he enjoys our ...
Hi, I first met this guy through mutual friends about 2 months ago. The second time we all hung out during 4th of July in which case, he instantly showed me interest and invited me to another party. We flirted heavily and had a good time until 4 am. When we parted he invited me to hang out with ...
So here's the thing, I've been dating this girl for a while now. She's the type that seems like crave attention from other men, so she likes going out to clubs, parties etc. She also likes interacting with men online, flirting and things like that. I can't say I like the way she interacts and conducts herself around other men. I've noticed that she's also territorial. She gets very jealous if she thinks I'm out partying, hanging out with other women, talking to women online etc. Basically if I do anything she does, she'd get jealous. She's pretty much selfish in that sense and admits it.
Last year, I met a 36 year-old man (I am 45) and when we instantly connected. We met through a dating site. He picked me up at home and the rest is history. He knew I was falling for him and began to retreat. He travels a lot with his job but I wasn't used to how to handle a long distance ...
Hey Doc: I’ve read your books and read your column every week. I can’t tell you how you’ve change my life! But, I had a question for you that I haven’t seen you write about before: what do you do when your girl gives too much? She cooks for me every chance she gets, she does my laundry, she makes the bed, does the dishes and cleans up my apartment. She helps me organize my calendar (I’m an atto ey with a very active case load) and even helps me organize my files. Sometimes she brings me lunch at the office. She doesn’t ask for much in return!
Your mother told you “always tell the truth”. When you testify in court, you are sworn to tell only the truth. Your partner expects total and complete honesty. Here’s the problem: you’re a liar. I know this without even knowing you. The fact, hard and cold as it may be, is that we are all liars. Everyone (and I do mean everyone!) lies. You do. I do. Your significant other does. Your parents do. Your politicians do. Your pastor does and even (according to recent studies) your pets do! On the flip side however, nobody wants to believe that they are liars themselves.
Dr Neder, I read on a website that you try to answer your email and I'm begging for some of your expert advice please. I am in serous need of some help because a girl I had really strong feelings for and with whom I've had a very close relationship and I have just had a crisis. About 1 1/2 ...
Doc: I came to notice early in my life that treating women as if they are a goddess is a sure fire way of losing their interest. You can try to spend as much with them as possible, call/text them every day, give them compliments etc. but they will lose interest and think you’re weak. Recently, I have been more aloof with women trying not to calling them when they say give me a call, asking them out once and if they are "unavailable," not asking them again, trying to get them to approach me, etc. None of these attitudes seem to work.