Articles
Browse every published article connected to Jan Denise, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Jan Denise, or search within this exact expert archive.
INSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2007 Reverence Trumps Celibacy, Marital Statusnn For many of us, a vow of celibacy -- a promise not to enter into marriage or engage in sexual intercourse -- is unfathomable. n During the Protestant Reformation led by ...
INSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2009 'Safe' Strategy Is Your Downfall We've all tried to put what we hoped a hot prospect would see as our "best foot" forward, while trying to hide our "worst foot." Predictably, we fall on our face. If we want an enduring relationship, we have to stand on our own two feet, the truth of who we are, for better or worse. There's nothing more liberating or satisfying, but that's a little known -- or experienced -- fact. Why?
Gratitude Brings to Light Abundance and Joyr By Jan Denise On that first Thanksgiving Day in 1621, the colonists invited the Indians to join them in giving thanks for the harvest. Being thankful meant having enough to share. It still does.r
INSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2007 Trust Senses, Not Imaginationnn With personal online encounters, our five senses get fed by our imaginations! n We can't smell or touch or taste or hear the would-be object of our affections. We can't (SET ITAL) ...
Where are you headed ... in your relationship? by Jan Denise As seen in Jan's relationships colum "Choosing Love" in the May 2012 issue of In Jersey magazine If you don't want to take a vacation, you can stay home; but if you don't want to go anyplace in your relationship, you can't just stay put. You will move to a lower place, a hell of sorts. Life doesn't stand still; it either grows or dies. The same is true for your relationship. If you are not moving closer as partners, you are moving apart. There is no pause button. So, where do you want to go in your relationship?
The heart-wrenching pain of a breakup can be too severe to deny. But we don't have to get pushed out the door to feel the pain of rejection. n Eons ago our survival depended on being sensitive to rejection -- without the protection of the clan, we were dead meat. Now, what used to save our ...
Familiar words from a reader: "I know breaking up is the right thing to do … but I can't seem to follow through." n "Dump him!" my nieces used to say in a detached tone that matched their words. Often I was eager to take their advice … it seems I was born dreaming of greener pastures, broader ...
Cheat … And You Cheat Yourselfnn "I know what it sounds like," she says, "but he's the love of my life." What makes her situation so unique is the "I." And that makes everybody's situation unique, particularly in their own eyes. It's easy to look from the outside and observe that he betrayed ...
As we pause to celebrate our nation's freedom, it's apparent that we as individuals determine its value to us. n We can -- and must, if (SET ITAL) we (END ITAL) are to be free -- declare individual freedom; and we can do it on the same grounds: n (SET ITAL) We hold these truths to be ...
Bare All to Enchant—in Any Season Summer demands that we bare all those body parts we’ve conveniently layered in sweaters. And if you’re feeling squeamish about that, you’re trying to protect more than just your abs and your thighs from rejection. When you accept the rest of you, you also accept your physical body. You embrace who you are inside and out, regardless of other people’s opinions. Stay with me, though, I’m not just talking about the unconditional acceptance that gets so much hype.
Commitment is an Ongoing Choice He’s snuggling up to you as though nothing’s wrong, but you don’t even want to be there. How did you end up married to this guy anyway? Right now it seems like any one of three suitors would have been a better option … and you’re still counting. The grass on the other side of the fence beckons. You could use a little wooing and tende ess, from somebody who’s not taking you for granted even after blatantly insulting you.
INSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, AUGUST 24, 2007 A Date Isn't The Best Way To Get To Know Somebodynn Dear Jan: A divorced woman moved into the house next door to mine two weeks ago, and I find her attractive. I have seen her outside a couple of times and felt ...
Don’t Squeeze Yourself Into a Relationship It can be just as tempting to squeeze yourself into a man’s mold for you as it is to squeeze yourself into the latest fall fashions. Okay, maybe it’s more tempting! Hold your ground, though. Let relationships—and clothes—enhance who you are, rather than try to change who you are.
Entertain Each Other First We have more entertainment at our fingertips than ever, but are we any less apt to be bored in our relationships? Most of us carry our own personal entertainment screen around with us—our favorite people, music, reading material, and games. If somebody keeps us waiting, or just bores us, we can escape. Among other things, this promotes zero tolerance for boredom. Ironically it also promotes boredom … because our needs for stimulation are not really met by the little screen. And our needs for intimacy and companionship may be getting buried altogether.
No, I’m Fine, Reallyr There’s No Reason to Reject Me By Jan Denise My mom says that when I was a baby, they could pick me up, and I was fine and happy. They could put me down, and I was still fine and happy. No crying. For decades, I thought what a perfectly delightful baby—so pleasant, no matter what. I wonder now, though, if I was ever really fine and happy. Maybe I just intuited that everybody around me was sufficiently taxed, and that I had better be fine and happy!
See & Celebrate What’s Real by Jan Denise You’re gritting your teeth and talking under your breath again, wondering if he deliberately provokes you … and if he waits until people are watching to do it. It’s no coincidence that he’s more irritating when you’re the center of attention. That is, after all, when you’re more consumed with presentation—and what everybody else is thinking! Therein lies the problem.
Gratitude Grows More of What You Want by Jan Denise Your partner doesn’t always give you what you want. I bet there are even moments when he (or she) seems incapable of it, right? And if you dwell on those moments, you’ll feel like he’s never going to satisfy you.