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Articles by Judy Ringer

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97 articles by Judy Ringer · showing 47

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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Changing Habits One Breath at a Time

I've recently taken up a new physical practice -- Bikram Yoga. I'm loving it -- the heat, the focus it takes to stay in the postures while honoring my body's limits, and the flow state I acquire and that stays with me afterwards. The heat is intense, and staying present becomes a practice in itself. As a beginner it's easy to feel inadequate, and I appreciate the dedicated instructors who help us execute the postures, each transforming the room with their ki.

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,156 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Overcoming Obstacles: Victoria Arlen - From Paraplegic to Paralympics

My message to all that will hear it, is don’t let your limitations define you… Don’t focus on what you don’t have…use what you do have.rn~Victoria Arlen An excellent student and natural athlete, Victoria dreamed of becoming an Olympic swimmer from the time she was 5 years old. She trained and swam and attained regional ranking. She was on her way.

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
2,398 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

It’s A Habit

Do you sometimes have the feeling that you're running into the same obstacles over and over again? Many of my conflicts have the same feel to them, like "Hey, I think I've been here before," but I can't figure out how I wound up in the same place. The situation is different, but the conflict ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,003 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

The Hot Tub

I swim most mornings at the community pool and then, if there’s time, reward myself with a soak in the hot tub. It's a great tub with room for four or five people, the water is really hot, and you can turn the bubbles on or off. My favorite soak is when I'm alone and the water is still. I ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
651 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

On Defusing Anger: Rx for Managing Emotions

Emotions happen. We can, however, make choices about how we manage them. If you consider emotions simply as a form of life energy, you can begin to reframe the notion that there are "good" and "bad" emotions and direct that energy in positive ways. The energy of anger, for example, can make you reactive. Or it can help you gain clarity about why you’re so charged, recover control of yourself in the moment, and develop a more intentional communication style. Five Tips to Manage Your Anger in the Heat of the Moment:

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,399 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Inner Freedom

"We hold these truths to be self-evident."n--Thomas Jefferso When we celebrate Independence Day in the U.S., we commemorate our struggle to free ourselves from tyranny, and celebrate victory in the quest for Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. We remember the freedoms we normally take ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,088 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

How to Confront with Skill and Confidence: 7 Tips

“We defy augury; there is a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.”rn-- Hamlet, Act 5, Scene ii, William Shakespeare A friend stopped me on the way out of the locker room. Conce ed about a fellow exerciser's habit of not wiping down the equipment after using it, she asked me if I thought she should say something. She thought about going to the facility manager, but the word tattle-tale came to mind. What should she do?

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,132 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

It's All So Simple

In his thoughtful and thought-provoking song “Anyone Can Whistle,” Stephen Sondheim writes: It's all so simple, Relax, let go, let fly. So someone tell me, why can't I? In this month of giving, getting, and gathering, when we all do more and push harder, relaxing and letting go are relegated to minor bullet points on the To Do List. In our bustling and striving, we barely remember what we’re bustling and striving for. In our rush to find the perfect turkey or bottle of wine, we forget why we’re looking. Mindful of the next task, we miss being present to this one.

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,137 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Dreaming the Future

In Aikido we use an exercise to physically distinguish between three kinds of power -- power that is rigid and controlling, power that's limp and ineffectual, and power that flows. Verbally and emotionally we act out these three forms of power when we attack ("I can't believe you're late again!"), manipulate or acquiesce ("I guess I'll just have to put up with you being the way you are."), or speak with purpose and positive intent ("In the future, I'd appreciate your calling when you know you're going to be late.").

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,114 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

No Spare Parts: Finding Your Purpose

"If you lose your purpose, it's like you're broken."rn~Hugo Cabret Over the holidays, I saw the movie Hugo. I went without great expectation, but I was delightfully surprised. It's a wonderful movie, full of fantasy, fun, and food for thought. I like movies with messages, and this one had many. The one that stuck, though, is the idea that, in a well-designed machine, there are "no spare parts."

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
838 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Bring a Coffee Cake

At dinner with my friend Susan recently, I was struck by the simplicity of her conflict resolution strategy. A friend sought Susan's advice about how to approach her neighbor about a potential conflict. The neighbor was prickly and the friend uneasy, and she asked Susan to come along as support ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,220 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

When You Don't Know The Answer

A client was struggling with how to manage her stress level during the Q&A period after a presentation when she doesn't have an immediate answer. The simple solution might be to say, "I don't know." But it's not that simple. Sometimes she does know the answer but can't come up with it, because ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,080 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Cultivating Gratitude

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, And I fall asleep counting my blessings."nn-- Irving Berli Take a moment to think about this question: What are you thankful for? What came to mind? A person? A pet? A place? Good health? Home and ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
779 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Clarity Of Purpose

I've been thinking a lot lately about why we fear our more serious conflict conversations, why we put them off or hold them in unconstructive ways. I had one of my own recently and was really quite uncentered for a bit, thinking about how I wanted to hold the conversation, what my positive ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,372 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Defusing Customer Disputes: 7 Strategies To Centered Communication

Defusing difficult or angry customers calmly and assertively benefits the company, the customer, and the service representative. Managing any difficult situation requires clear communication and intention. You improve with practice. And the rewards – both in terms of personal and bottom line ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,201 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Framing Your Message

In a difficult conversation when I want to get my point across, I create alignment with my conflict partner through listening and learning what's important to him, what he's really going for, and how what I'm offering might fit with his goals. By giving my partner the freedom to deliver his ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
726 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Aikido And Conflict: Turning Difficult Moments Into Ki Moments

One of the things that interests me most about conflict is the tendency to resist it and the ways in which this resistance causes me to miss a ki moment - a key moment, when I might respond with purpose and intention but do not. Resistance is a reactive habit. When I resist, I'm on automatic, ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,002 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Conflict Mistakes

One of the questions I receive most often from my newsletter subscribers is what do I do when I've "blown it?" As one good friend said: "I forgot all the great ways I know to address a conflict. I reprimanded an employee by basically attacking her character. I did apologize, and, thankfully, she ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,094 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Go Ahead, Be Thankful

"Go ahead. Play. Let me see you run!" Mimi cheered us on. I was seven or eight years old, playing with my cousins in the back yard of my grandmother's house in Oak Park, Illinois. Mimi (my Aunt Mary) was probably 30-something at the time and in her wheelchair, where she'd been since a spinal ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,224 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Neighbors With Drums: Making Choices

"If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind."n--The Dalai Lama There's a new event in the neighborhood. Every day around 3:30 pm, a neighbor with a new drum set begins practicing -- at full volume. The drummer must be on his deck or screened porch, because there doesn't ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,094 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Stage Fright: Use It and Lose It

As a professional singer and speaker, I'm often asked if I still get nervous in front of an audience. I do. But I've learned to use my nervous energy – and minimize its impact. I practice aikido, a martial art based on aligning with the attacker and redirecting the attack. Instead of ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
3,032 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Being Heard: Mental And Verbal Strategies For Getting Your Point Across

"Psychologists have found that we are each more interested in knowing that the other person is trying to empathize with us… than we are in believing that they have actually accomplished that goal. Good listening … is profoundly communicative. And struggling to understand communicates the most ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,181 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Attitude Adjustment

Benjamin Zander, author, motivational speaker, and conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, often quotes his father as saying that "there is no bad weather, just inappropriate clothing." I live in southern coastal New Hampshire, about an hour north of Boston, and when each winter brings day after ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,284 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Heart At Peace

"We give ourselves the best opportunity to make clear-minded decisions only to the extent that our hearts are at peace." -- The Anatomy of Peace Choosing to resolve conflict begins when we approach it with a "Heart at Peace." So opens a new book I just finished, The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
2,888 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Cooling My Hot Buttons

I needed to stop and breathe about a thousand times yesterday what with unaware customer service reps and nasty tech glitches – my favorite hot buttons. It all began when I took my car in to be serviced first thing and learned the service rep had forgotte I needed a ride home. I had ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,122 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

The Pause

"In between stimulus and response, there is a pause, and in that pause we have the opportunity to make a different choice."nn ~ Victor Frankl Reading a blog post recently by my friend and colleague, Judy Warner, I was inspired. Although I teach aikido techniques like the practice of centering ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,371 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Negativity Rx: Change Your Ki

In a recent workshop, "Jane" asked about negativity in the workplace: "Our work environment is so negative. It's like The Wave. One individual starts and then everybody joins in, including me some days. I want to stop. But when I don't engage, they all look at me like I'm "Miss Polly Positive" ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,235 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

A Gift of Energy

"When attack becomes dance, everything is seen as a gift of energy." That sounds great, doesn't it? Couldn't we all use a little more energy from time to time? I know I could. Right now, for instance, as I sit with a blanket over my shoulders, sipping lemon tea and hoping that the next ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
947 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Advocate Respectfully

This is one of a series of brief articles on holding difficult conversations. In earlier issues of Ki Moments, I suggested ways to open communications that create mutual respect; we talked about the importance of knowing your purpose for the conversation; and we added Inquiry and Curiosity to ...

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
827 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Do You Have a Resentment Garden?

My sisters and I got talking at a recent family reunion about how differently we each deal with conflict. We recalled our teen years when one or two of us would easily blow up at my mom or dad when something didn’t go their way (I’m not naming names!). This kind of reaction, which we all remembered, was unbelievable to those of us who would bite our lip, act like everything was fine, and skulk away to lick our wounds.

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,188 views
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By Judy RingerRecently published1 topic

Posturing for Maximum Effectiveness

Aikidoists know the importance of posture. Head over shoulders over hips, weight balanced over both feet, which are about shoulder width apart. Bowing posture, Seiza (seated) posture, Hanmi (standing) posture. Body and mind are connected. When our posture is upright and ready, everything is. We’re open, relaxed, and prepared for whatever may come.

Primary topic: Communication Skills and Training
Communication Skills and Training
1,642 views
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