Articles
Browse every published article connected to Julie Donley, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Julie Donley, or search within this exact expert archive.
Change is often very difficult for people to accept and yet it’s happening every minute. The only thing certain is change. When you find that things are not as you want them to be in your life, it’s time to get comfortable with change. The Comfort Zone Change means many things to people. It ...
“I don’t think I can do that,” says Shirley. n“Does it matter what you think or does it matter what you do?” I replied. n“I never thought of it like that. I know I should do this; I guess I just don’t think I’m good enough.” Shirley confessed. To which I replied, “Who asked you what you ...
Why does change have to be so darn hard? We struggle to lose weight, get in shape, eliminate debt and stay (happily) married. Health issues such as heart disease, depression, addiction and obesity - preventable illnesses – are rampant. Why is it so hard to change? The answer to this question describing eight strategies for success can be found in my new book, Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?, now available in bookstores.
Everyone experiences self-doubt at some point in our lives. For many people, self-doubt can be pervasive, even crippling. It can impact your relationships. It destroys confidence. It causes procrastination or lack of effort. It can be extremely frustrating to live with the reverberating voice in ...
My aunt and I had lunch the other day. We were discussing weight loss and I mentioned my fear of regaining the forty pounds I have worked so hard to lose when she said, “It’s easy to lose weight; the hard part is keeping it off.” In my many years as an addictions nurse, I have always said that the hardest thing to do is to GET clean – to make the change and give up an addiction – and that it is much EASIER to maintain the change by staying clean one day at a time. So which is harder – making a change or sustaining the change?
Ok, so you turn the calendar to a New Year and suddenly you think something should change. You’ll get those pesky 20 pounds off once and for all! Or you’ll definitely get promoted or change jobs this year. Or perhaps this is the year you will have a better relationship with your spouse – or your kids – or your parents… The list goes on and on.
You have thousands of thoughts that float through your mind all day every day. How do you sort through them all to determine which thoughts are good ones? In other words, how do you know which thoughts will lead you to good outcomes? It’s hard to know. You can become attached to certain ...
The Constitution of the United States affirms that each person is endowed with the inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. In this three part series, we are exploring what these three rights mean for us. In the first part of the series, we discussed the difference ...
“He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.”n~ Saki, British author (1870 - 1916) Happiness is not about what you own, who you married, or what you collect. Happiness is feeling good – not having your life look good – and it can only be felt right now, in this moment. It ...
Have you ever had anyone speak to you in a tone that made you feel uncomfortable? And yet, you said nothing. Have you ever done something for someone or with someone that you really didn’t want to do? And yet, you did it anyway, only to become resentful later. Every time you say nothing, every ...
In our coaching sessions, clients often discuss struggles or frustrations they’re experiencing. Struggling is characterized by that feeling of trying to place a round peg in a square hole. It’s a stressful place to be. It’s also energy draining, time consuming, and it distracts you from the ...
Has anyone ever spoken to you in an inappropriate manner? Often people are caught off guard and are not prepared to handle these challenging situations. But, as a leader, whenever you are in a situation that’s uncomfortable, it’s imperative that you speak up; the person needs to know that the ...
At a recent outing, a woman seated near us lit a cigarette. My 7 year-old-son commented to her, “Smoking is bad for you.” At which the woman replied, “Yes, so make sure you never start.” Every day you wake up, you make literally hundreds of choices. You choose your mood and your attitude. You ...
Change occurs constantly. Things move so fast today, people cannot keep up. With every change, there is a process that occurs. The process is called transition and there are three stages: an ending, middle and a new beginning. These stages can happen separately or simultaneously. Depending upon ...
In 2005, as president of the Philadelphia Chapter of the International Coach Federation, I held a meeting with the Board of Directors because in some areas we seemed to be hitting snags in accomplishing our objectives. While people were working hard and committed to achieving our goals, we were off base with some of our efforts. People needed to be focused and reoriented so I designed an outline for understanding productivity in a more strategic manner. When operating as part of a high level team, it’s essential that all parties are on the same page and operating in harmony.
“I am seen as a pillar of strength. I was brought up this way. I don’t show my emotions or to talk about the bad stuff going on in my life. When people ask how I’m doing, I say, ‘I’m fine.’ As a nurse, I am always there for others. I don’t want to have to ask for help or lean on others for ...
Being a nurse used to be associated with the white starched dress uniform and cap. When you saw someone in that uniform, it meant purity, compassion and care. It also used to mean handmaiden or the “one who takes orders.” These days few people still wear white and even fewer wear dresses. Many ...
Consider the thoughts that go through your mind on a daily basis – the fears, doubts, criticisms, and judgments. If you knew that other people have the same thoughts about life, their mate, their kids, the organization, about their co-workers and bosses, and about themselves as you have, ...
It has been echoed through the ages that what we think about is what we bring about and our thoughts actually create our reality. James Allen’s book, “As A Man Thinketh” was written in the late 19th century to communicate this concept at great length. Steven Covey calls it the “first creation”, ...
Ok. So you are out of work either by your choice or not. You’re scared. Most people do not have adequate savings to allow for a long period between jobs. Not having savings or a spouse/partner to support you financially through this period adds tremendous stress to your already stressful ...
Challenge: I’m a new manager leading a team of sales professionals. One of my associates is very negative and does minimal work. While he meets quota, he could do so much more and his negativity impacts the other members of our team. He’s been with our company for a number of years and it seems ...
Wondering what to do and what time frame to do your investing in? Here are some ideas to assist you in your investments. Stick with stock funds. As long as you have five or more years until you need the money, stock funds will likely provide you with superior returns over any other ...
I was recently asked to address the issue of conflict resolution at the hospital of one of our clients. In today’s fast-paced and stressed-out society, conflict resolution is a critical issue. People don’t always have the time or the tools to handle conflict. The word ‘conflict’ connotes ...
‘Care’ or compassion is an essential ingredient in the profession of nursing as well as many other caring professions. Without compassion, you might as well come up with another name for “nurse” because without “care” it’s not “nursing”. But it’s not just nursing that requires compassion, or caring professions for that matter. Everyone you interact with over the course of your day has the right to some level of respect. Oftentimes, people are so focused on their own agenda that they forget they are dealing with other human beings with their own agenda and priorities.
Does your work environment bring out the best in you or the worst? When you leave work, do you feel drained, exhausted and even angry? Do you generally feel like you are dodging bullets all day? It happened to me the other day. As a practicing RN, I take shifts at a local, acute care psychiatric hospital.
Have you ever had an argument? It’s a silly question, for sure. Everyone has. You know, in that moment, when you’re so sure that you’re right, when you just wish the other person would hear you - your version of reality, that is, your right way of looking at the world. If they would only understand the world the way you do, everything would be fine! But then, they are thinking the same thing in that moment, believing you should listen to them. Their way, after all, is the right way, the only way.
The Constitution of the United States affirms that each person is endowed with the inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This is true for everyone on the planet, not just people residing in the US; although in this country, you are provided with the freedoms necessary ...
What is important to you in life? Do you know what your values are? Values are those things that are priorities. These can be anything from nature and beauty, adventure, learning, having fun, or honor and integrity. You know these things because when you see them in others, they bring you joy. When you experience them for yourself, they bring you joy. And when you don’t have enough of them in your life, you feel empty, like life has lost meaning. Too often, however, we live life without our values leading the way.
In my marketing materials, I promote the ‘creation of environments that nurture success’. Recently, someone shared, “I don’t get it. What does it mean to create environments?” Good question. What are Environments? An environment is anything that supports you to be or to perform a certain way. ...
Have you ever had anyone speak to you in a tone that made you feel uncomfortable? And yet, you said nothing. Have you ever done something for someone or with someone that you really didn’t want to do? And yet, you did it anyway, only to become resentful later. Every time you say nothing, every ...
Life is so fast-paced today with people trying to do so much that many people find themselves stressed to the max. By maintaining a state of constant busyness, people run themselves into exhaustion. And, at the end of the day, they’re thinking, “There’s got to be a better way.” Life is not a ...
Staying Positive in a Negative Environment By Julie Fuimano, Executive Coach Probably one of the hardest things we must do as leaders is to stay positive when everyone else around us is negative. It’s not easy to maintain a positive attitude and not be drained or consumed by the negativity that ...
"I have a new boss. With recent layoffs and downsizing, my boss gave up my area to a new director. My head is swimming with thoughts about how she will treat me, what she will expect. I'm nervous that she will find a way to get rid of me. I'm just so scared of what might happen with this new change." All of us can relate to feelings of fear especially when they are born from thoughts about change that is out of our control.
Change is often very difficult for people to accept and yet it’s happening every minute. The only thing certain is change. When you find that things are not as you want them to be in your life, it’s time to get comfortable with change. The Comfort Zone Change means many things to people. It ...
There’s an art to getting things done without creating a stressful environment. When you find yourself with too many things to do and not enough time to do them, stress rises. And at times, panic can set in. Instead of trying to schedule it all in, take some time to identify your priorities. ...
Most of us have come face to face with intimidation at some point either at work or in our personal lives. It’s never easy because at the moment it occurs, there are two big things to manage: • YOU and your emotional state and • The other person’s behavior You have to assert yourself in a way that defuses the bully and his or her anger while at the same time managing the rage that is exploding inside you.
A few years ago, there was a movie produced called “The Secret” which introduced to the mainstream population the principles of the Law of Attraction. The basic premise is that whatever you dream of, you can create by focusing on what you want and how you will feel when you achieve it. If you ...
Change is often very difficult for people to accept and yet it’s happening every minute. The only thing certain is change. When you find that things are not as you want them to be in your life, it’s time to get comfortable with change. The Comfort Zone Change means many things to people. It ...
You have just won the lottery! Congratulations! This is exactly what you’ve wished for and you finally won! You are so excited. But, are you prepared? Do you have a great financial advisor picked out? If not, how will you choose one that you can trust? Do you know how you’ll invest ...
Every morning you get out of bed and go about your day. You say good bye to your spouse, get the kids off to school, and make your way to your job. At work, you attend meetings, greet customers, and chat with colleagues. Maybe you go to the gym a few times during the week. Weekends, you spend ...
“I don’t think I can do that,” says Shirley. n“Does it matter what you ‘think’ or does it matter what you ‘do’?” I replied. n“I never thought of it like that. I know I should do this; I guess I just don’t think I’m good ...
“When I try to do the work, to approach a task or push through my procrastination, a battle ensues in my mind. I wind up feeling so intimidated that I take a seat and let the battle go on. I get so distracted that I’m paralyzed and I don’t get done whatever I wanted to do. It’s limiting – it limits my ability to set goals and to dream of new things in my life. It tears me down and I feel like I have no control – that my life is out of my control.
“After 20 years of employment, I was injured and my employer told me they had no job for me. You bet I’m angry!” Many people lose their jobs through injury, downsizing or closings and it’s challenging to come to terms with leaving an employer after so many years of service. Anger is a natural ...
Have you ever put together a puzzle? First, you open the box and dump all of the pieces on a table. You spread them out. Then, you pick up each piece one at a time, turn it over, observe it for shape, color and a glimpse of something that might be useful, and then place it face up on the ...
A staff member doesn’t handle a problem with a customer well, and you, as the manager, are upset. You think to yourself, “Why on earth would he do such a thing? Doesn’t he know better? He should know that’s not how to deal with a customer!” Your young child is playing upstairs. You decide to go ...
Overwhelmed? It happens to the best of us at times. Some people live in a constant state of overwhelm. Knowing yourself, being aware of your abilities, and creating an environment that nurtures your success can help to alleviate or minimize overwhelm. You also must learn to stand up for yourself and create good boundaries with your time and your workload. This can be quite difficult for people who enjoy pleasing others, who seek reassurance and approval from others, or who have an inner barometer that just doesn’t know when to say “no.” Overwhelm means you need to simplify.
You’re really frustrated. Angry. There is so much happening in your life and you have so many emotions floating around you can’t think straight. You’re tired. You’re moody. Ok, even irritable. Friends are complaining. Your spouse is complaining. Your kids hide when they see you. So you withdraw and say very little. Then colleagues ask, “What’s wrong?” You just want everyone to leave you alone! The thing is you have so much emotional energy you really don’t know what’s wrong! You don’t know what you feel! But you do know that soon, you just might explode! Why does this happen?
“I don’t understand; I use [a diet system] to lose weight and am generally very successful, however, as soon as I come off the diet and start eating regularly, I gain the weight right back. This has happened three times now. What am I doing wrong?”
Have you ever felt like no matter what you do you don’t quite get the results you want? Or perhaps you’re achieving the results you want but you don’t feel as good about your success as you thought you would. It seems that you keep doing things right but there’s still something missing. For ...
Having clear goals is important to ensure successful living. With a vision in mind and landmarks for achieving success, you add direction and focus to your personal and professional life. It’s like taking both hands and grabbing hold of the steering wheel of the car called life and steering into ...