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Get on the good side of prospective customers. Be seen where they are in a good mood. They’re more likely to buy your product, research shows. It’s the Halo Effect of being associated with people, products or situations that make them happy.
I got this strange idea in eighth grade. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular people. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the far corner of the cafeteria with the only two friends I had, Denise and Janice. What unfolded within two months led me to discover the single best method to succeed (sometimes) in new endeavors.
Kindness is often unspoken. “An eye can threaten like a loaded and leveled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart dance for joy,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. At another time, Emerson wrote, “You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
Why do we instinctively like some people and find others irritating or worse? What makes us agree, buy, help . . . or not? Do your gut instincts help or hinder your “LQ” – Likeability Quotient? From an expert on gut instincts, gain insights about how to say it better next time. Answer this quick nine question quiz and get some tips. Some of the answers may surprise you. 1. Do people get along better when talking to each other if they are facingrneach other or if they are standing side by side?
When the priest was moved to a new parish he approached he asked his superior to ask for permission, “Would you mind if I smoked while praying?” and was, not too surprisingly, turned down. Some wise people instinctively know they can gain approval by how they ask. Set the stage for people to ...
Enthusiasm is not the same as just being excited. One gets excited about going on a roller coaster. One becomes enthusiastic about creating and building a roller coaster,“ suggests Bo Bennett, and I heartily agree. Getting enthusiastic is a little like learning to breathe. Nobody can tell you exactly how to do it, but without it you’re in big trouble. No one but you can discover the compelling purpose or exciting goal that ignites enthusiasm inside you. Discover your strongest passion (and talent) by noticing the situations in which you are both:r
Even though it’s been over a decade ago, I vividly recall my shock when sitting in a committee meeting for a non-profit. The chair asked us each to report back on the task we agreed to do. The second told us that she hadn’t started on her assignment because it had been a very busy month at work. Also, she didn’t offer a deadline by which she would get it done. Nor did she acknowledge how her lapse was going to stall our project.
Those who don’t act right (like you) can actually be your most mutually beneficial allies. Here’s how: Some people believe we each have a set point in our temperament, along the continuum of pessimistic to optimistic, meaning we habitually behave at that point on the continuum. Psychology professor Martin Seligman believes that those who operate at the positive end of that range are more likely to thrive, have friends, and advance in their work.
Even the most time-pressed business owner can attract more customers with less effort through the right cross-promotional marketing. Why? Because when you join forces with other credible people who also reach your target market you can reach your customers more efficiently, credibly, and memorably with the right offers and services. To stand out from the competition in a crowded advertising marketplace, businesses, nonprofits, and government agencies are enthusiastically adopting this nimble approach to "out market" bigger competitors.r
As someone who grew up cited as “phoebically shy and a stutterer I shocked most of my high school colleague when I was invited to speak, five years later at their annual state conference, coming back as some one who’d become a Wall Street journal journalist. In fact, when I walked in to give my speech, many who knew me in the audience looked started then laughed at me. My core message in my talk and life was-- and is -- the enormous benefits of having attracted extremely diverse allies with different talents, experience and temperaments.
These three true stories share a vital trait that can you can adopt to boost your mood — and your value and visibility with others — as an individual and for your organization: Thief Apologizes And Returns Money To Nashville Market 11 Years Later, How Google Maps Led To the Rescue of A Los Angles Stray Dog, and Valentine’s Gesture From Dead Husband To Wife Will Make You Melt. The common trait? They are uplifting good news
To this day I’m mortified when I see a box of chocolates. I was in the Antwerp airport, heading back to San Francisco. Before settling into a seat at my gate I bought two indulgences for the flight home, John le Carré’s Our Kind of Traitor and a box of Pierre Marcolini truffles, one of the most popular brands in Europe. Within minutes I was swept into le Carré’s masterful spy mystery. But I promised myself I would savor my truffles, eating each one slowly. At some point, the motion of the man’s arm next to me caught my attention.
1. TRUST AND LIKEABILITY GO HAND-IN-HAND Adopt a proven, counter-intuitive way to seem likable to others. One of the biggest misconceptions about connecting is seeking, first, to be liked. In fact, the counter-intuitive way to get someone to like you is in knowing this core truth: If they like the way they feel when around you, they will like you. They will project onto you the character traits they most like in others, even if you have not yet exhibited them.
Forget making New Year’s resolutions this year. They are notoriously hard to keep. Instead start down a concrete path to make your work and life more meaningful and satisfying. How? Begin by “finding the thread that ties your story together” suggests Pamela Slim in her new book, Body of Work. Understanding that connective thread, you can find a way to use your multiple interests and talents in a coherent whole that enables you to grow your unique and valuable mastery. That’s the key to living the illusive, flourishing life you seek. Become A Greater Author Of Your Life Storyr
Your hobby or work expertise or belief may be unusual, yet it’s likely that people near you share your interest. Or they may just want to have fun. How can you find those kindred spirits? By hosting an ever-better MeetUp. Also consider start a MeetUp to create a profit center for yourself. Or ...
The secret is all in understanding a code. It is a most elaborate code that is written nowhere, nknown by none, and yet understood by all. That secret nis how we tell each other, without words, what nwe really feel. How do other people perceive you, especially upon first meeting you ...
Despite the millions already spent on one of the highest stakes campaigns now under way, what has either presidential candidate said that you remember? That’s what I thought. Darn little, if anything. How about you? Do people stop listening before you stop talking? Being quotable is essential to attracting more options into your life. Without it you may be rich, smart, hardworking, and even attractive and good hearted yet you are likely to lose to the person who paints a more compelling picture.
We can all make wiser decisions by understanding these common mental traps we sometimes fall into: 1. The Confirming-Evidence Trapr This trap is the bias that leads us to seek out information to support our existing point of view while avoiding information that contradicts it. This bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence to reinforce a current stance or perspective, but also how we interpret the evidence we receive, leading us to give too much weight to supporting information and opinions and too little to those that are conflicting.
Fun Way to Learn Faster Togetherr As a kid I spent much of one summer, sitting on the curb in front of my home, watching Mike, the cute boy across the street, riding his bike on daring ramp jumps in his driveway. (My “surprise” bike wouldn’t arrive until my birthday). Then Mike would speed out onto the street, closer to me, turning his bike in tight undulating curves like a never-ending “S.” I watched this show at least a couple dozen times yet never tired of it.
Feeling like you’re working harder yet not smarter over time? Feeling thwarted, scattered or under appreciated? You are not alone. Perhaps the biggest gateway into a more successful and meaningful work and life is this step: Distill your smarts and most passionate interests into a distinctive, much-needed method. That’s what Joe Calloway calls Becoming A Category of One.r
That’s how Applebee’s attracted more customers – many first-time visitors – to their family restaurants one summer, without advertising more. When Weight Watchers designed and branded several low-cal menu items for Applebee’s, followers of the Weight Watchers program (and those who were thinking of dieting) had a new reason to eat at Applebee’s. Applebee’s customers opened up their menus and saw how appetizing a Weight Watchers entree could be. Consumers got introduced to products by organizations they already knew and trusted.
We instinctively experience situations as individuals or as part of a group. As David Brooks suggests today, the world is divided into those with an individualist or a collectivist mentality. Guess which group is larger. Freedom to succeed. That powerful American dream attracts millions of ...
This trap is the bias that leads us to seek out information to support our existing point of view while avoiding information that contradicts it. This bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence to reinforce a current stance or perspective, but also how we interpret the evidence we receive, leading us to give too much weight to supporting information and opinions and too little to those that are conflicting.
Whatever behavior we praise we encourage to flourish in others – especially when they are around us. Whatever we criticize or “simply” snub goes deeper into their consciousness however. Hint: Speak to their positive intent, especially when it appears they may have none. That may be the best way to bring out their better side so they are more likely to see and support yours. Sure, that’s not easy, yet it is easier than the alternative. Emotions are energy-giving or sapping. In every interaction we either react or choose how we will act. We choose where to put our attention and intention.r
While happiness books are all the rage, none begin by showing us the inescapable first step to connecting with others. Yet having social ties is the single best predictor of a longer, healthier, more satisfying life.
The smaller the coffin, the heavier it is to carry,” Pakistani Defense Minister Khawaja Asif toldr CNN host Christiane Amanpour. Then he went on to describe a Taliban massacre where many children were killed. Asif didn’t try to evoke an emotion with grand generalizations. Instead he generated deep caring and curiosity via his specificity. You, too, can gain immense power by starting with a relevant, specific detail. Get listeners to picture and feel first so they can’t help but think about it. That’s probably why this opening statement pulled others into wanting to learn more.
Our Journey to Corporate Sanity: Transformational Stories from the Frontiers of 21st Century Leadership ~Book by Ayelet Baron: Kare Anderson’s chapter in that book: Emmy-winning former NBC and Wall Street Journaljournalist and TED presenter on Becoming an Opportunity Maker (with over 2.5 million views) Kare Anderson is a Forbes columnist who speaks and consults on becoming more deeply connected and widely quoted.
In the longest study of what led men to live happily and successfully to a ripe old age, guess what trait they were most likely to have in common? The lives of 268 men who entered Harvard College in 1937 were tracked for seventy-two years in The Harvard Study of Adult Development. Those who made it into middle and old age as “happy” and “healthy” shared seven traits: mental adaptability to changes in life, advanced education, stable marriage, not smoking, not abusing alcohol, getting some exercise, and maintaining a healthy weight.
David Phillips was rushing up and down the supermarket aisles within seconds after seeing Healthy Choices “Early Bird Special.” He bought up all their 90-cent soups in the store. Then he raced over to a discount outlet to get all the brand’s 25-cent chocolate pudding cups. No time to pause. Phillips asked the store manager to order 60 more cases, and then requested the addresses of the chain’s other local outlets. The next weekend he and his mother-in-law to drove a van from Fresno to Davis, buying up all to the pudding cups in those stores.
Joe Lee was sitting at a table, rapidly counting rain jackets in a small room somewhere above the sumptuous lobby of the Jamaican hotel where I was to speak at a global corporate conference the next morning. I did not know who he was then, although he looked familiar. I was just told that the man in that room could tell me if there was a spare space for me to go on the rainforest tour that was arranged for conference attendees.
Several years ago, DisneyWorld executives were wondering what most captured the attention of toddlers and infants at their theme park and hotels in Orlando, Florida. So they hired me and a cultural anthropologist to observe them as they passed by all the costumed cast members, animated creatures, twirling rides, sweet-smelling snacks, and colorful toys. But after a couple of hours of close observation, we realized that what most captured the young children’s attention wasn’t Disney-conjured magic. Instead it was their parents’ cell phones, especially when the parents were using them.r
Instead of trying to change your feelings (as cognitive therapy attempts to do), change how you choose to view your thoughts. Practicing this way, we can notice what's without immediately reacting, thus become better to choose how we want to react.
Hint: what’s not revealed is sometimes most revealing. You never really know somebody until you see the choices she makes. As a nurse, you’ve long known that it is usually not the “medical” but the “people” challenges that determine how well you can do your job.
When I was a Wall Street Journal journalist, I was sent to cover a football game in Barcelona. Later during the game in the stadium I was startled to see many spectators in the stadium yelling racist insults down at the renowned Brazilian footballer, the flying fullback Dani Alves. Capping it off, an angry spectator who had been screaming racial epithets at him threw a banana down in front of Alves as he was walking back onto the field to play again.
What makes a meeting truly stand out from others? It's not necessarily how much money was spent but how many positively memorable experiences the attendee recalls. Many conferences involve a theme, reinforced through a logo, theme, events, and speakers to create an overall "feel" and value throughout the convention. Why not further reinforce your meeting content and mood by enveloping attendees in planned sequences of memorable moments that involve sensory combinations of smells, tastes, sounds, sights, and even “touchable” experiences?
Here are five fairly simple to take some of the stress out of your life. They don’t always work, yet what does? 1. Problems seldom exist at the level they're expressed. To resolve some conflicts, look for the problem that underlies what you're discussing. Ask yourself where the actual conce originates. 2. If you're involved in an argument lasting more than 10 minutes, stop and ask yourself, Are we arguing about the core disagreement or is there a deeper issue that we're not discussing?
See how forging apt partnerships with other firms that serve the same kind of customers, companies of all sizes can create unexpected benefits and transform customer service from an afterthought into a highlight. 1. Offer a Tantalizing “Extra”r
Are you quotAble? Or do people stop listening before you stop talking? Being heard and frequently quoted is essential to attracting more opportunities and friendships. Without that talent you may be rich, smart, well-connected, well-intentioned, and hardworking yet you are likely to lose to the person who paints a more compelling and relevant picture, in-person or in writing. Two quotability-related, intertwined goals: to consider: 1. Become top-of-mind choice in your profession or market 2. Emerge as a trusted subject matter expert for your key mediarnr
The Confirming-Evidence Trap This trap is the bias that leads us to seek out information to support our existing point of view while avoiding information that contradicts it. This bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence to reinforce a current stance or perspective, but also how we interpret the evidence we receive, leading us to give too much weight to supporting information and opinions and too little to those that are conflicting. In one study of this phenomenon, two groups one opposed to and one supporting capital punishment each read two reports of carefullyr
These three true stories share a vital trait that you can adopt to boost your mood — and your value and visibility with others — as an individual and for your organization: Thief Apologizes And Returns Money To Nashville Market 11 Years Later, How Google Maps Led To the Rescue of A Los Angles Stray Dog, and Valentine’s Gesture From Dead Husband To Wife Will Make You Melt. The common trait? They are uplifting good news stories.r
After being honored in a tribute a tribute at the Kennedy Center Way back in 2013 the renowned musician, Carlos Santana, was interviewed by several eager reporters. He was often asked about the musicians he most admired, the turning points in his life and how it felt to be popular again.
It is easier to stick a new idea in others’ minds if you can attach it to something that is already happily familiar to them. Hint: Become more frequently quoted by employing this Familiarity Effect. Here’s one way to do so: What familiar and respected product embodies the valuable trait for which you want your product to be remembered? Plum wants to be the Netflix of baby clothes. Instead of buying clothes for your child, rent them then return the clothes when they are outgrown, and get a new set.
What’s it take to stay relevant in work today? That often cited and disputed study made famous by Malcolm Gladwell, it takes 10,000 hours to achieve mastery, is based on a study that covered those whose skills required repeated practice - surgeons, violinists, and athletes — notes Rookie Smarts author Liz Wiseman. Yet, to work and live well in our rapidly evolving and connected world we must be perpetual learners not proficient repeaters of skills. In fact, business author, Josh Kaufman, audaciously claims most careers today require about 20 hours to master.
How we cobble together the incidents in our lives and create a narrative thread reflects that spin, revealing our hidden personalities and our tendencies suggests psychologist Dan McAdams, author of The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By. Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a blogger with the pseudonym Belle de Jour had a backstory worthy of a movie script. In fact it was turned into a Showtime TV series. She wanted to have a satisfying next chapter of her life story so she wrote about it.
I don’t know about you but sometimes I take too long to get to the point. Instead of listening, my captive audience goes on a mental vacation. They feel talked “at” rather than “with. “ Especially if something is really important to me or I know too much on the ...
“The smaller the coffin, the heavier it is to carry,” Pakistani Defense Minister Khawaja Asif told CNN host Christiane Amanpour. Then he went on to describe a Taliban massacre where many children were killed. As if didn’t try to evoke an emotion with grand generalizations. Instead he generated deep caring and curiosity via his specificity. You, too, can gain immense power by starting with a relevant, specific detail. Get listeners to picture and feel first so they can’t help but think about it. That’s probably why this opening statement pulled others into wanting to learn more.
After the priest moved to a new parish he approached his superior to ask, "Would you mind if I smoked while praying?" and was turned down. It is wise for us to learn how to ask for something in a way that enables others to agree. For example, the priest might have said, "Would you mind if I pray while I am smoking?"
Some startled neighbors who were out walking or at their window yesterday asked why we were carrying a fully-decorated Christmas tree up our steep street in Sausalito, when it was just November. Upon hearing our story, Martin, Jim, Ingrid, Julia and Jacob, joined us, carefully picking up the fallen angel (haven’t we all fallen at some point?), wise man and blue bird ornaments along the way.r
When you most want to smash someone in the face or run out of the room, remember this irony. Cooling off someone else’s anger can be a way to actually bring that person closer. Warning: Don’t add fuel to the fire by suggesting that they calm down. Here are five ways to not only dampen their anger but also possibly strengthen your relationship with that person. Five Ways To Keep Your Cool When Under Firernr
During a packed stadium game, several spectators yelled racist insults down at the renowned, Brazilian footballer, Barcelona’s flying fullback, Dani Alves. Capping it off, an angry spectator who had been yelling epithets threw a banana down in front of Alves as he was walking back onto the field to play again.