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Browse every published article connected to Karen Keller, Ph.D., with exact attribution and full-archive search.
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Karen Keller, Ph.D., or search within this exact expert archive.
The phrase ‘His name is mud” came from the story about a man named Samuel Mudd who was thought to be a co-conspirator in Abraham Lincoln’s assignation. His conviction was later overtu ed, but nonetheless, the phrase stuck with him and for more than a hundred years later.
Women are redefining the meaning of success – on their terms. They’re giving it a much needed makeover. Well-defined success factors or keys to success are important to a woman’s identity, to her sense of accomplishment and to her total acceptance of her success.
It's Friday afte oon, you've faced another long week at work. You love your job and your family but the kids are driving you up the wall and it's hubby's night out with the guys. So you order pizza, throw a movie in the DVD player and numb out to Beauty and the Beast. Not the most relaxing way to de-stress.
The saying, ‘Lonely At The Top’ is true for women now more than ever. Why? There simply aren’t enough women moving in forward motion. Now, some of you may totally disagree but let’s look at the facts.
Being predictable can lead you to great success. For instance, if you discovered a formula that works why not use it every time? Now, being predictable isn’t about staying the same year after year. It’s about knowing which behaviors to exercise, once you’ve discovered their success, at each stage of business growth. So, yes, you do incorporate and flexibility but there is room for predictable behavior that leads to major rewards.
Serial entrepreneur Sarah Stedman sidles up to the organic snack bar to meet with an exciting potential client she's wanted to pitch to for a long time. She's feeling smart, sassy and super-energized after a hard morning workout. She has her best suit on, her new haircut has taken 10 years off her face, and she has, what she considers, a dynamite proposal sitting in her sleek, black, soft briefcase.
Working moms get a bad rap. They are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. Do or don’t what? Everything! The working mother is busting you-know-what to be everything, everywhere to everyone. Face it – that’s impossible even for Wonder Woman. Every working mother I know at some time or other has felt run down, exhausted, overwhelmed, unnoticed, and unappreciated. I know I have. Well, there is something you can do about it. Sure, you can take time for yourself - away from the wanting, nagging and expectations. That may help, of course, it will!
Personal power makes a woman influential. Her personal power is what is left when other powers (money, position, relational) are lost to her. Women are learning the value of their personal power. For years, they have invested in the belief of being powerless. Competing desires, thoughts, and feelings interfered with accessing their power. Many times these competing desires included the desire to please or do for others.
Spreaders of malicious gossip, the workplace backstabbers spin wicked webs of emotional destruction, hunting down and trapping unwitting pawns in their incessantly evil games. Sometimes they can be overtly blunt, other times they're subtle and coy, gaining your trust and then turning the tables when you least expect it. They're a formidable force to be sure, but one that can be overcome if you stay calm and cool. Here are a few tips for keeping your backbone straight when the backstabber is on the prowl.
Attitude is a choice. Women are confronted daily with situations, words, outcomes that force them to choose a response. That response is based decidedly on their attitude. Attitude is the difference between winning the battles, but losing the war. How many times have you realized that your attitude saved a business deal, a relationship, or your life?
Successful working women have many things to overcome. 1. She doesn’t need love and attention. Not true! Successful working women thrive on love and attention. They value positive recognition, honest feedback, and respect. There’s a picture of a woman moving fast, climbing, and earning in a blur where she doesn’t stop to smell the roses. False!
There probably aren't many people on the planet who don't know about the upcoming nuptials of one of the most famous bachelors in the world. Getting married is a pretty big step in life for anyone, and doing it before the eyes of millions is thankfully not what the rest of us have to take on! Still, William and Kate are going to be in "business" a long time, and we can already see they are determined to color a little outside the lines and run their own show despite all the trappings of tradition around them.
Everyone has blessings in their life, however, there is a good number of people who couldn’t tell you what they are if their life depended on it. These are the people who complain to a great extent, expect way too much from others, and rely heavily on success to come from nowhere. Being grateful can have an enormous effect on your life, if you start counting your blessings. 1. Being grateful improves your disposition. It makes you happier and therefore, more approachable and likeable.
Job stability seems a rare promise these days. Downsizing and resizing companies continues to be a predominant sign of our economically-challenged times, and there is plenty of worry about the axe falling when you least expect it. However, on the other side of the coin, you may be hanging onto a job that is actually doing you more harm than good.
Customer retention, relationship management, and how a business owner provides customer service is extremely important to the bottom line. Everyone knows it cost more money to find a new customer than to retain an existing one. So why not give it your all to satisfy your customer’s needs. Every customer wants something. It doesn’t matter what it is, they want it yesterday. If you could know ahead of time what they wanted, that’d make life so much easier. So, instead of the typical Top 5, let’s do a Top Ten piece. Here it is – just for you!
When is enough enough? Is your ‘truth-telling’ getting you in trouble? What happens when you first meet someone? Do you get diarrhea of the mouth? Do you clam up not saying a word? There’s a fine balance between truthfully representing your personality and making a good first impression. You need to choose your words carefully and give the right ‘spin’ – yes, spin. This is where you begin to shape the perception others will have of you.
Every relationship’s cornerstone is based on trust. And trust comes from telling the truth. So what is the reason so many relationships fail? Here are five: 1. The Half Truth. Telling the other person only what you want them to know or what they only want to hear is a slippery slope. Jack Nicholson told Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give, “I’ve always told you some version of the truth.” 15 minutes later he had a heart attack. Nothing breaks trust more than finding out your skirt was stuck in your pantyhose from the waiter rather than your husband.
You’re walking into the boardroom. All eyes are on you. You take a seat. Take a deep breath and WHAM – now you’re on. What’s next? Every day leaders are made, deals get sealed, and negotiations fall through.. So what separates the ‘made’ deals from the ‘broken’ deals? Following these simple yet forgotten ‘seal the deal’ rules:
It's no secret that what you wear says a lot about who you are, your self-esteem, and your professionalism. Additionally, your work clothes "brand" your image on the job. So if you want to be taken seriously and be successful in your career, you have to dress accordingly. But you don't have to wear stodgy stuff or be endlessly confined in panty hose. As Mark Twain said, "Clothes make the man." And they also make the woman!
One of Murphy’s Law states, “There’s never enough time to do something right, but there’s always enough time to do it over.” Doing it right the first time would mean no mistakes, no regrets and no doubts. But if you didn’t make mistakes, have regrets or deal with doubts then what would you learn? Very little. At least not the important stuff. It’s the challenges, missed opportunities and mistakes that create the biggest lessons. The only time it doesn’t serve you is when you fail to pay attention. That alone is a lesson to learn.
You may be familiar with the movie based on the book Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde. The premise of the story is that people who are on the receiving end of a good deed, in turn, pay that forward by doing good deeds for three other people, thereby creating a chain of good deeds that eventually spread around the world.
Who gets the corner office? The woman who maneuvers and manipulates? The woman who is constantly pleasing? Whether you are a business woman, entrepreneur or corporate leader in training – your goal of the corner office is commendable. The woman who gets the corner office has these top 5 traits. These empowering traits, preferably habits, will sharpen your focus while on the path to the corner office. Ignore any suggestions of ‘hoping’ to reach the corner office or being satisfied with a view onto the back alley.
Knowing when to say no is a major first step in getting to yes. How? Psychologically, when people hear no their immediate reaction is how they can turn that ‘no’ into a yes. For instance, when you tell the car salesperson not today, they begin to figure out ways to make the deal even sweeter – to your advantage. Another example is when you say no to your kids having 20 kids for a sleepover. Then they will begin negotiating to the manageable 6 friends.
Attitude is a choice. Women are confronted daily with situations, words, outcomes that force them to choose a response. That response is based decidedly on their attitude. Attitude is the difference between winning the battles, but losing the war. How many times have you realized that your attitude saved a business deal, a relationship, or your life?
When you feel empowered you can accomplish anything you desire. Empowerment for women doesn’t mean you have to burn your bra or spit at the end of the bar. It doesn’t mean you need to be aggressive or stare down the nearest competitor with vigor. But there are a few things you can do to set yourself on the road to empowerment. 1. Value relationships where you are an equal. This applies to both personal and professional relationships where you are respected and valued as a person for what you believe and the ideas you bring to the table.
What's important about a relationship? Everything! True success comes within the confines of authentic relationships. Anything less is superficial. You buy and sell based on relationships. You hire and fire based on relationships. You agree or disagree based on relationships. Relationships are necessary for every endeavor you attempt. Since you know the significance of a relationship, why do you (and me) mess them up so much of the time? When was the last time you took an inventory of your relationships? Or do you just think your relationship "health" will maintain itself?
There are several ways a woman can vent her frustrations and anger. Many of which could make things worse resulting in more trouble than she bargained for. Nonetheless, venting is a good skill to learn. But, do it smart! Don’t let it get the best of you, give your enemy power or sink a damaged ship. These are a few things to know or do when you feel the urge to vent (before you explode). Clear the room of all sharp objects. That includes the that will criticize and gossip about you later. Trust who you let listen.
All stages of a woman's life are transitory, whether we're growing into womanhood, getting married, having children, retiring or dealing with an empty nest. Similarly, we also go through different stages in our careers. At one point, we may be at the bottom of the corporate ladder; at others, we're in varying levels of leadership and positions of influence.
Making well-defined resolutions is the cornerstone in getting ahead. The quality and success of your resolutions depend on your willingness to stay committed to them. How is a resolution related to getting ahead? A resolution is defined as a formal expression or intention to make a decision or arrive at a solution. When you make a resolution, you are making a commitment to doing something that moves you forward.
Women in business are astute when it comes to watching out for integrity. You want to know that everyone you deal with, hire, or promote is working from a space of integrity. The word integrity conjures up images of politicians, business people and individuals in authority. It’s a blue ribbon that people feel a need to conquer.
A group of anthropologists at Cambridge were conducting research on the concepts of pessimism and optimism. Their subjects were two young boys: one a pessimist and the other an optimist. The pessimistic boy was put in a room full of wonderful toys. The optimistic boy was put in a room with nothing but a barrel of manure. When the scientist looked in on the pessimistic boy one hour later they found him complaining about this toy that didn't work, that one needed fresh batteries, the next one wasn't the rights color, etc., etc. Recording their findings, they moved on.
Day in and day out, whether at work or running our own business, we have to interact with people. We may talk face-to-face, by phone or Skype, by email, or on popular virtual gathering places like Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. Never before have we had so many ways we can connect to people, and never has it been so critical to make your presence strong and consistent no matter the platform.
Women are learning the value of successful negotiation. However, men initiate negotiation four times more than women. Because of poor or nonexistent negotiation skills, women leave approximately $2000 on the table when buying a car. Women are more pessimistic about the rewards of negotiation than men. These and similar statistics are reflective of a woman not knowing her worth and having low expectations of her capabilities. Before you begin the negotiation process and expect success, you need the following top 5 "negotiation" understandings to get what you want.
Marketers have been using logic and emotion for years in selling their products and services. So how does this work? It’s all about the decision making process and the triggers that make a difference between yes or no. Sometimes these triggers can be impulses, or they are coupled with logic or they relate to your emotions.
The influential woman consists of an array of qualities that are not mistaken for anything other than influential. She is strong. She is confident. People take notice when she walks into the room. She commands the respect that she has earned. Every woman can be an influential woman. But it doesn't happen without effort on your part. Where do you start? How do you recognize influential traits?
Self-discipline is the skill to get yourself to take action in spite of your emotional condition. It’s about willpower, persistence and hard work. The pivotal point of self-discipline is when you make a conscious decision, it is virtually guaranteed that you will follow through with it. The self-disciplined person loses 20 pounds. The self-disciplined person runs the marathon. The self-disciplined person creates wealth. The self-disciplined person finds real love.
It stings but rejection happens whether it’s in love or in business. Rejection makes us afraid. Afraid to invite someone out. Afraid to ask for the promotion. Afraid to start a difficult conversation. Afraid to start our business. We assume that our interest, ideas or intentions will be dismissed.
Just like exercise is good for your body, so it is for your business. There are daily demands every business owner faces, and without a strong, solid foundation and good reserves on hand for those inevitable emergencies, you can find both you and your bottom line sidelined at the most inopportune times.
When you speak, do others hear you? Do they ‘listen’ to you? Are you listening to them? Listening and hearing are different actions. Hearing is the physical act of the ear picking out sounds from another’s voice. It simply happens. Listening is what you consciously choose to do. Listening requires concentration so your brain can create meaning from words and sentences. Listening leads to learning.
What makes you feel alive? Do you know what the feeling is? Dr. Wayne Dyer, said it this way, ‘I try to teach my children that being successful isn’t necessarily about performing a specific task, being in a certain occupation or living in a particular location. It’s about sharing yourself in a creative, loving way using the skills and interest that are inherently part of you.”
The principle of reciprocity is a powerful way to influence. It’s one of the six psychological principles of persuasion. It’s a means of give and take. Sort of a ”you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” thinking. But there’s another expression you’re probably familiar with … “You get what you pay for!” It’s all about how you give and the quality of your intention.
Being influential can mean the difference between success and failure. Yours. Influence is touted to women as an outer or exte al component as a means of getting what you want. This is logical IF you accept influence as how to exert power over someone or a situation. James Ford instructs leaders on the five sources of power to influence people: reward power, coercive power, legitimate power, expert power and referent power. Each of these "sources of power" are exte al ways of persuading or influencing something outside of yourself.
Every woman has either experienced or witnessed when a business relationship has gone wrong. Most of the time it sneaks up on you without any warning. Like when your business partner says she is leaving because she found something better somewhere (and with someone) else. Or how about being accused of not working hard enough when you are already putting in 70 hour weeks? But are there warning signs? Signs that were there all along but you just didn’t notice? Here are 5 signs (alarms) that the business relationship you thought you had has gone wrong:
Home. A place to live, feel secure, be free. Yes. But not the home you sleep in every night. This home is where you return when you’ve been hurt or damaged. The home where you celebrate your victories and evaluate your future plans. This is the place inside you where nobody else is privy. Where you find unconditional love and regard. The home inside you is a protected space. Keep it free from people parasites. These are persons who would love to enter and feed off of you. Don’t let that happen. This is your home to be your haven free from disruption.
When it comes to climbing the corporate ladder, women not only need to be on top of their game but they also need to watch their backs. As we all know, there are sour grapes in every bunch of people we work with. Some of these backstabbers try to either overtly or covertly sabotage you, especially if they see you constantly succeeding. And not all of them are your peers. They can be your bosses, too!
Oh, the thrill of it all, flirting with a co-worker or your boss. It can be sexy, fun, and electric. And as the mutual attraction grows and is taken to the dating stage, it can be even more so. However one should always proceed with caution when dating at work as there’s much at stake on both a personal and professional level. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you consider dating a coworker.
What’s in a word? Is it worth a thousand pictures? Lots and could be. Words are approximately 7% of our communication so what makes them so important? Because without them we would struggle to get our point across or hear that all-important feeling or thought someone is trying to share. Power language and power conversations make you powerful. When you use powerful communication, verbal AND non-verbal, the world begins to see you as a force to be respected. 3 ways women use language that undermines their power.
When your boss is the office bully a very different picture emerges. It’s like dealing with a spoiled child who rants and raves knowing nobody will say anything for fear of risking the unemployment line. They act out because they can. They are insecure, compensating for little or no leadership, have a strong need for perfection, and find every reason to place blame anywhere they like.
When it comes to running a business, there is so much to think about. Organizing and keeping on top of daily operations, marketing, bookkeeping, customer service, employees, vendors, etc. It all pretty much takes up a business owner's time. These are definitely important areas to focus on but when have you (or have you ever) made a point of literally stepping outside of your business and into the shoes of your customer to see how your business is perceived?
Performing on the job depends on many variables: our skill set, mindset, personality type, and attitude. At any moment, we may carry out any number of tasks that call on us to be able to think, move, and execute practically simultaneously. It's like we're in constant air traffic controller-mode having to complete one task (plane landing) while getting ready for the next (plane taking off), plus keeping our eye on the one that's a few hours away (plane approaching our air space).