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Articles by Karla Downing

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142 articles by Karla Downing · showing 50

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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Are You a Perfectionist or Someone Who Values Doing Things Well?

Are you wondering if you are a perfectionist or just someone who values doing things well? Answer the following seven questions: When you fail or fall short of your expectations, do you: Beat yourself up in your mind with negative self-talk? People who value doing the best they can understand that they will make mistakes no matter how hard they try. Perfectionists don't allow themselves to make mistakes and are extremely hard on themselves when they do.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,839 views5/5 (1)

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

A Seven Step Plan For Detaching From Manipulative People - Christian Relationship Help

Are you looking for Christian relationship help? Then here is a seven step plan for detaching from manipulative people.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,904 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Five Keys to Overcome Jealousy

Are you looking for Christian relationship help to overcome jealousy? Proverbs 27:4 says: "Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Jealousy is indeed a strong emotion that infects and affects a relationship. Jealousy can be felt toward anyone: friends, siblings, parents, spouses, co-workers, children, and others. Except the jealousy that should be felt toward someone your partner is cheating on you with, you need to deal with your jealousy and not let it infect your relationships. You can do this by using these five keys to overcoming jealousy:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

10,461 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: What to Do With Five Common Alcoholic Dilemmas

This Christian relationship help will tell you what to do with five common alcoholic dilemmas. When someone you care about drinks, you naturally want to make him/her stop. Drinking isn't good for the person or your relationship. People who care about a drinker can get too caught up in rescuing, fixing, or controlling the problem and in doing so lose the ability to make wise choices for their own lives.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,239 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Loving Too Much

Are you struggling with Christian codependency and finding yourself loving too much? Jesus told us that the two main commandments were to love God and others. A popular Christian song had the following lyrics: "And they will know we are Christians by our love." Christians know they should love, but they don't know always know how. The emphasis is on forgiveness, tolerance, turning the other cheek and grace. The result is that they end up forgetting about the other side of love.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,364 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children The Way God Sets Boundaries With His Children

Christians aren't the only people who need boundaries--everyone does--but when setting boundaries, Christians want to feel assured that the choices they are making are pleasing to God and biblically based. Knowing how God sets boundaries with you as his child helps you know how to set boundaries with your adult children.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,975 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Speaking The Truth In Love - Expressing Your Truth Before You Set Boundaries

Do you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Difficult relationships have lots of issues to deal with. There are disappointments, hurts, unmet expectations, irresponsible choices, unacceptable behavior, resentments, and fears. Poor communication makes all of these issues more complicated, because they are not able to be resolved or focused on to make changes.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,396 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Speaking The Truth To Someone Who Will Use Your Words to Hurt You

Do you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your difficult relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. It is important to speak the truth, but we need to use wisdom in deciding who we should speak to and what we should say, so we can protect ourselves.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,162 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Forgive Yourself: God Wants You to Let Go of Your Past and Live Your Life

Are you struggling with forgiving yourself for things you have done and haven't done? Many people have more trouble forgiving themselves than other people. It can be especially hard when the consequences of your actions have hurt others and there is no way to remove them.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,479 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Dysfunctional Family Christmas: 6 Tips for Making the Holidays Functional

Are you dealing with a dysfunctional family Christmas? Use these 6 tips for making the holidays functional. Togethe ess, love, family, tranquility, magic, unity, happiness, and gifts--We are told we should have all these things at Christmas and when we don't have them, we feel disappointed and despairing. Anything short of that ideal is painful and everything not right about our lives and relationships is exaggerated.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,873 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Friendship: Five Things You Simply Must Do To End Loneliness

Are you looking for Christian friendship because you feel lonely? "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NLT). Feeling lonely is indeed a reminder that one is at a disadvantage being alone. If you are struggling with being alone, there are five things you simply must do to end loneliness: Regardless of what causes your loneliness, here are some keys to taking some steps to end your loneliness:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,361 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians Surviving Divorce - 6 Things You Need to Know Now

If you are a Christian surviving divorce, here are six things you need to do now. Divorce isn't easy for anyone, but you can make it easier for yourself by doing these six things.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,986 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Getting Past Stage One - Denial

Denial is stage one of the grief process when you are dealing with any type of loss. Getting past denial is necessary, in order to move into anger, bargaining, depression/sadness and then finally into acceptance. Denial serves an important purpose: it cushions your response to painful events. Just as your body goes into shock when it is injured, preventing you from feeling the pain, you go into emotional shock when you experience things that are too painful to deal with. Denial is necessary and good for awhile. You will know you are in the denial/shock stage by the following:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,460 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Marriage Help for Christians - 5 Stages Of Grief In Affairs For The Betrayed Spouse

This marriage help for Christians explains the five stages of grief that the betrayed spouse will go through when discovering that the spouse is having an affair. The last thing we plan on when we get married is our partner being unfaithful. People typically say that they would never tolerate it and would definitely divorce. But when the reality hits home, most people try to save their marriages. Christians typically have the idea that divorce is Biblically allowed as a result of an affair but that God prefers they try to work it out and most do try (Matthew 5:31-32).

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,023 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Prodigal Children - Six Things You Absolutely Must Do

Watching your prodigal children make choices that you fear will cause pain and consequences and you know are out of God's will is heart-wrenching. The parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 provides the model for six things you absolutely must do when dealing with your prodigal children:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,250 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Friendship: Four Myths About Loneliness

Are you struggling with how to overcome loneliness by searching for Christian friendship? Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." (NLT) It isn't good to be alone, but it is also unnecessary when it is because you believe these four myths about loneliness:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,397 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Identifying the Beliefs Underlying False Guilt

Are you struggling with Christian codependency? If you answered yes, then you probably experience feeling guilty often in your relationships. If you hold the following beliefs, you will struggle with guilt in your relationships: - You feel overly responsible for other people and as a result, feel guilty when others don't do what they are supposed to do and suffer the consequences.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,437 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Eight Things You Can Do To Get Your Husband To Do What You Want

Do most of your attempts to change your husband not only fail but result in distancing him from you and making your marriage worse? If so, you will benefit from the following eight things you can do to get your husband to do what you want:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

929 views2/5 (1)

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help - 5 Steps For Overcoming Fears In Relationships

This Christian relationship help offers five steps to overcome fear by enabling you to face your fears and deal with them rather than propagate or avoid them. Relationships stir up many fears in us, especially when people are doing things that we disagree with.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,524 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

4 Truths About Biblical Submission in Marriage - Marriage Help For Christians

Submission is the "S" word in church. In this modern day of equality, women's rights, and women working, many pastors avoid it or quickly skip over it, focusing on the man having to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:22-33).

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,411 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

9 Dysfunctional Family Maneuvers by People in the Bible

Dysfunctional family maneuvers allow the family to deal with their emotions and anxiety without having to face the truth about what is really going on. Dysfunction entered families when sin entered the human race in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve's "first family" experienced dissention, the murder of one son, the banishment of another son, and more. Since then, families continue to be dysfunctional in the way they deal with problems. Consider these 9 maneuvers and their functions in the family: 1. The Cut-off

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,997 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Boundaries - 10 Truths About Boundaries In Relationships

Christian boundaries are a source of confusion for many Christians, especially when they are in difficult relationships. We wonder what a boundary is. We wonder if we have the right to set boundaries. We wonder what our boundaries should be. We wonder if we should adjust our limits when people refuse to respect the boundaries we have. We wonder what other people would do in a similar situation. We wonder why we need boundaries. We wonder if our boundaries will be challenged. We wonder what kind of boundaries God would want us to have.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,556 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Healthy and Unhealthy Triangulation in Dysfunctional Families

Triangulation in dysfunctional families can be healthy and unhealthy. There are many ways you can "triangulate" which simply means to get involved in a relationship between two people in an attempt to fix it. Dysfunctional family dynamics give you many opportunities to get involved some of which are okay and some not okay. Triangulation isn't healthy if: - It prevents two people from talking directly. - It enables a person to continue doing something wrong because of your intervention.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,947 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Boundaries: Six Questions to Guide You in Setting Biblical Relationship Boundaries

If you are struggling with being a Christian and having boundaries, then these questions will guide you in setting biblical relationship boundaries. One of the reasons boundaries are hard to figure out is because they are different for each person and circumstance. Difficult relationships have complicated dynamics. These questions offer you principles to help you figure out the boundaries that are right for you in each of your relationships.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,263 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Speaking The Truth In Love - Don't Take Personalities Personal

Do you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by showing you how not to take personalities personal.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

880 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian submission, submission in marriage, how do wives submit, is submission control, Christian

Are you looking for Christian marriage help to answer the question: Does submission mean being controlled? Whenever a woman tells me she is struggling with submission in her marriage, I suspect a difficult marriage. The question is typically phrased as "Do I have to submit to my husband no matter what he asks me to do or am I allowed to say no?" In difficult marriages, submission is taken literally and often used abusively by a spouse to control and manipulate. Listen to this woman's experience:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,999 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: How Core Wounds Trigger Overreactions In Relationships

Are you looking for Christian relationship help that shows you how core wounds trigger overreactions in relationships? Childhood leaves us each with core wounds. These core wounds or core issues resurface repeatedly in relationships. They typically form the basis of overreactions to things that the other person does.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,716 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Father-Daughter Relationships Influence A Woman's View of God: Three Things Women Need

There are three things women need from their earthly father to have a healthy relationship with God.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,252 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Four Common Misconceptions About Forgiveness

We are commanded to forgive those that injure us, if we want to be forgiven by God (Matthew 6:14-15). Here are four common misconceptions about forgiveness that make it more difficult to do:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,075 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Divorce - 5 Tips to Get Your Ex-Spouse Out of Your Head

Are you a Christian going through a divorce? Are you struggling with getting your mind off your spouse? Do you find yourself thinking about your spouse obsessively trying to figure out what he/she is doing and thinking? Do you wonder what your spouse thinks about you? Do you want to make your spouse see your point of view? Do you think more about your spouse than yourself? If you answered yes, it is time to take your focus off your ex and put it onto yourself. These tips will help you do that:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,909 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Four Beliefs That Prevent You From Nurturing Yourself

Most of us don't do well with nurturing ourselves. We are experts at taking care of others' needs and ignoring our own needs. Some of this self-neglect comes from four Christian codependency beliefs that prevent you from nurturing yourself. Which of these beliefs have contributed to you not nurturing yourself?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,370 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Speaking The Truth In Love Even When It Hurts

Are you struggling with speaking the truth in your relationships because you are afraid of causing the other person to be hurt, unhappy, or upset? Then, this biblical truth and tip will help you. The most common conce Christians express when being honest is the fear that it will hurt the recipient. They have the misconception that it isn't "Christian" to cause a person pain or discomfort.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,493 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Four Dysfunctional Family Characteristics That You Can Change

Dysfunctional families have similar characteristics regardless of the individual problems. Here are four dysfunctional family characteristics that you can change:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,951 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: How to Recognize Burnout

Are you looking for Christian codependency help that will enable you to recognize burnout? "Burnout" occurs when you have pushed yourself too far for too long (usually because you believe you have no other choice and God wants you to), and as a result you find yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually, and/or relationally spent. It is important to know how to recognize burnout so you can make adjustments before there are long-term negative consequences to your ministry, job, business, body, or relationships. Here are the signs:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,206 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Divorce - How to Take Care of Yourself After Your Divorce

Christians divorce just as much as non-Christians but often feel as if they have failed God and don't deserve a good future. That is not true. God understands that sin causes broken relationships. He hates divorce, but He loves you. Regardless of what happened in your marriage that led to the divorce, He cares deeply about you now and wants you to be healed and restored. Divorce requires a huge readjustment in your life. It takes time to re-orient and rebuild. In the process, you have to learn to take care of yourself. Consider these helpful tips:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

971 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

What Makes Codependency Qualify As Christian Codependency?

Before we answer the questio "What makes codependency qualify as Christian codependency?" we need to understand the history of the term. In the 1980s, codependency was originally used to describe the dysfunctional patterns of family members of chemically dependent people who were also called the "co-addict" or "co-alcoholic." It was later broadened to include other people dealing with other types of difficult relationships and later to describe people who had a pattern of relating to all people in a codependent manner.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,222 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Speaking The Truth In Love - 8 Tips To Overcome Difficulty In Expressing Your Thoughts

Do you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Some people are not naturally verbal and have difficulty expressing their thoughts, especially in emotionally volatile and unpleasant circumstances. When they are dealing with people who are verbal, persuasive, intense, angry, controlling, or pushy, they tend to "freeze" and are unable to communicate, because they cannot compete.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,431 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: What Does It Mean to Suffer for Good in Relationships?

Are you looking for Christian relationship help that will enable you to understand what it means to suffer for good in your relationships? Misunderstanding regarding this teaching leads to unhealthy choices in relationships. First Peter 3:17 says, "It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil" (NIV). Some have wrongly interpreted this to mean that we will be rewarded for enduring mistreatment. The truth is that we will be rewarded for some of the mistreatment we endure; but not all of it.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,321 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Boundaries: What Would Jesus Do in Your Difficult Relationship?

Boundaries in relationships aren't always easy to figure out due to the many complicated dynamics that can exist. Christians are conce ed with making choices in relationships that follow biblical principles to please God. It is helpful to look at how Jesus demonstrated boundaries in his relationships as an example of what we should do in ours.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,004 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Dating: Be Equally Yoked in Five Areas

With Christian dating, the one Scripture that comes to mind is 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness: What harmony is there betwee Christ and Belial? What does a believe have in common with an unbeliever? " (NIV) It is clear that Christians need to be equally yoked, but not only in their faith.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,545 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Boundaries With Adult Children: Lessons From the Prodigal Son

Are you trying to figure out your boundaries with your adult children? Then you will benefit from these lessons from the prodigal son. In Luke 15:11-32, a son asks for his inheritance early and then leaves his home to spend it foolishly. When he hits a bottom and realizes he needs to come home to survive, he returns to find his father running to meet him and subsequently throwing him a party to celebrate his return. Instead of being treated like a servant, he was treated as a son.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,640 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Jesus' Model for How to Deal With Difficult People

If you are looking for Christian relationship help, you are probably dealing with difficult people and wondering how God would want you to respond to them. Jesus dealt with many difficult people. Here are three principles he put into practice:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,293 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Speaking The Truth In Love - Use "I Statements" To Minimize Defensiveness

Do you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by showing you how to use "I statements" to minimize defensiveness. When sharing your truth, your approach matters. You can share your truth in a way that guarantees a defensive or angry response. When you accuse or attack, the person will react defensively. We all want to defend ourselves; it comes naturally-eve Adam and Eve defended themselves when God confronted them about eating the forbidden fruit.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,516 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help - How To Face Your Fears In Difficult Relationships

How can you face your fears in difficult relationships? By answering the questions offered in this Christian relationship help. It isn't unusual to have many fears in difficult relationships. When people are doing things that we find upsetting and are not making responsible choices, things can and do go wrong. The biggest problem that arises from the fear is that it can keep you stuck and unable to make good decisions.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,090 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Why Love Is a Choice, Not an Emotion

Why is love a choice and not an emotion? The emotional component of love that we associate with feeling "loving" isn't consistent. For a relationship to be solid, there has to be consistency. Choosing to love means one will choose actions that demonstrate love regardless of the emotion that is felt (1 Corinthians 13). Here are five things that you choose to do when you love someone whether you are feeling angry, disappointed, distant, hurt, upset, loving, irritated, happy, unhappy or anything else:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

13,640 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Abusive Relationships: Changing Your Victim Mentality

Abusive relationships challenge our ability to take care of ourselves and leave us feeling victimized. It is important that you work on changing your victim mentality. Many of us complain that we are victims in our relationships. By claiming we are victims, we are giving up our power to do something different. We are a victim when we are truly powerless and without options. Children are victims because they have aren't able to care for themselves by virtue of their age and the fact that they are under the control of their parents.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,991 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Dysfunctional Family Christmas: The Serenity Prayer For The Holidays

This Christian marriage help will enable you to take back your power to change your life whether your husband or wife changes or not. The problems in your marriage are real and the changes you want your spouse to make are most likely reasonable. The dilemma that you have is that you can't make him or her change and as long as you are waiting for change and pushing for change, you are stuck in the same patterns.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,278 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Is God Punishing You For Your Bad Relationship Choices?

If you are looking for Christian relationship help, this article will help you answer the question: Is God punishing you for your bad relationship choices? There are commo Scriptural misunderstandings about relationships that result in Christians making unhealthy choices in relationships. These misunderstandings come from our families, church teachings, other Christians, and our own personal beliefs. In addition, we also tend to have rigid black and white interpretations of selected Scriptures. One of these is the belief that God punishes us for our wrong choices in our relationships.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,498 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Recognizing Emotional Manipulation

This Christian relationship help will enable you to recognize emotional manipulation. Dysfunctional people often use tactics to manipulate you to get what they want. These people are usually skilled at recognizing the weaknesses they can exploit. The only way to counter their ability to get to you is to recognize the tactics so you can stand against them. Jesus warned that we should be on our guard because some people will want to hurt us and that some of them will be from our own families (Matthew 10:17; 35).

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,453 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Boundaries - 7 Reasons Why Setting Boundaries Is Difficult for Christians

Having good Christian boundaries is something we need to work on all the time in every area of our lives, yet setting boundaries isn't easy and is a cause of confusion in our relationships. These are the seven reasons why it is difficult for many Christians to set boundaries: - We feel responsible for other people's choices. - We are afraid of losing the other person's approval. - We are afraid of losing the relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,298 views

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