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Articles by Ken Fields

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39 articles by Ken Fields · showing 39

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By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

A Parent's Guide to Childhood Nightmares

Childhood nightmares, or very bad dreams, are not uncommon and often need nothing other than a parent’s consoling embrace to remedy the immediate situation. Nightmares may occur for several reasons. Because children are very impressionable, watching a scary movie at night before bedtime can easily trigger a nightmare. If there is a high stress or frightening situation going on in the home, or at school, and the child has not been able to disclose this information to his or her parents, or a teacher or trusted adult, the nightmare may serve as a release valve.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,421 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

"But" vs. "And"

Two three-letter words: "but" and "and." In grammatical terms, they are called conjunctions. They bridge two clauses of a single sentence together. In communication (and negotiation), these words are subtle manipulators of exclusion or inclusion. Generally speaking, "but" excludes, denies, discounts or in some way rejects the previous clause.

Primary topic: Psychology

3,033 views4.7/5 (3)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Love And Boundaries

We tend to think of love as an all encompassing, overwhelming, positive feeling. We say, “I love you” and think that solves all our conflicts and arguments with our partner. During the initial stages of love, often referred to as an infatuation phase, boundaries are melted and dissolve away. We enter into the realms of the other person’s reality. We merge together. Our life becomes theirs, theirs ours. We lose ourselves. We become one. It’s a wonderful, marvelous feeling. For a while. At some point, we want ourselves back. We begin to erect some boundaries.

Primary topic: Psychology

3,652 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Understanding Self Sabotage

Why would anyone want to sabotage their own efforts? It’s a reasonable question. But, a better-phrased question would be what is the motivation and logic underlying self-sabotage. There is little doubt that it occurs. What is often not recognized is that it serves a purpose. There is a positive intention, a need if you will, underlying the behavior of self-sabotage. There are a number of ways in which we sabotage ourselves and in every single case the self-sabotaging behavior can be viewed as serving some positive need.

Primary topic: Psychology

8,184 views5/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Parents' Toolkit: Consequences And Reinforcements

One of the most effective methods parents can use to help modify behaviors of their children, are natural consequences and positive reinforcements. Although consequences can be seen as punishment, and reinforcements as rewards, there are some differences. Natural consequences, sometimes referred to as logical consequences, are an established set of results, which occur from specific behaviors. There is no emotionality contained with the dispensation of a natural or logical consequence; it is just the given outcome of a particular behavior.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,811 views1.3/5 (3)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

All Wound Up And Wounded: Some Thoughts On Psychological Healing

It may be of some surprise that the word 'wound' is used to represent a cut, hurt, abrasion or more serious injury AND that same word can mean tied up tightly, coiled up, or bound as in "I was all wound up with stress." We tend not to think of being wound up and stressed as an injury, or wound. However, on a psychological level, that is exactly what it is. In today's jargon, the word 'trauma' is used, and aptly so. Trauma is Greek in origin and translates into English as 'wound' - as in hurt or injury. When we speak of trauma, we are talking about being all wound up with woundedness.

Primary topic: Psychology

3,055 views3/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Anticipating Anticipatory Anxiety

You’re going to the dentist – and you feel anxious. You’re about to go take a test, and you feel anxious. You’ve been asked to have a meeting with your supervisor, and you feel anxious. You might just be anxious anticipating another day! Anticipatory anxiety is a common discomfort for millions of people. Some people can even get anxious anticipating the arrival of the anticipatory anxiety!

Primary topic: Psychology

1,670 views4/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Self Correcting Family

Parents often bring their child (or children) to a counselor or therapist to help "fix" behavioral problems exhibited by the child. These behaviors could be some form of conduct or adjustment disorder, general disobedience, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, relationship issues or any number of psychosomatic complaints. Although this is likely a good step to take, parents need to realize that a child's misbehavior is more often than not a symptom of a family dysfunction.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,565 views5/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Truth About Self Esteem

The truth is, self esteem is a mental fabrication. It has no objective existence of its own like might a part of the body or something in the natural environment. We can all agree on a person’s height, weight or even how fast he or she can walk a mile. But, there is no way to measure self esteem that is objective or standardized. That’s actually a good thing because it means any person can make self esteem to be what they choose. But, therein lies the problem as well. We might think a person who is successful in business, productive and wealthy, has “high” self esteem.

Primary topic: Psychology

2,166 views4/5 (3)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

A Parent's Guide to Childhood Anxiety

It is estimated that about 1 in 8 children experience some form of an anxiety disorder. Anxiety can be mild, and very temporary, as in simply being nervous about an upcoming event, to more severe and long lasting forms such as panic attacks, obsessiveness and traumatic stress responses. Symptoms of anxiety can range from low-level physiological responses such as headaches, upset stomach or irritability to intense nausea, sweating and an overwhelming incapacity to function.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,171 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Dialing Down Anxiety

There is little debate that most anxiety is a symptom of internal cognitive/psychological machinations. That is, we are thinking in a way that is generating the anxiety. We think in both mental pictures and internal dialogue and depending on what we are telling ourselves, and what we are seeing, we may generate irrational anxiety. We often do not hear what we tell ourselves, or see those internal mental images, consciously; but they nevertheless exist as a subconscious process and have tremendous power over our moods and emotions.

Primary topic: Psychology

2,110 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Individuality is...

…in division and duality; in-division-duality: individuality. Although individuality has many redeeming qualities, and is, in fact, one of our major developmental tasks throughout the lifespan, it is as well loaded with problems. Individuality is the source of feeling alone, isolated and estranged. It is the source of conflict, both internal and exte al. Individuation can be a painful process as one separates from close attachments including family, friends, jobs, cherished beliefs and socio-cultural self-perceptions.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,209 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Other Side of Happiness

As a mental health counselor, I've often worked with depressed individuals. Regardless of whether the individual is a child, adolescent or adult, I often play a little word game with them to help me get a better understanding of their depression. The word game goes something like this... "I'm going to ask you a few very simple questions and then I'm going to ask you a difficult question. OK?" The person often responds in the affirmative.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,526 views3/5 (2)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Understanding Co-Dependence

The term co-dependence is pretty familiar to many people today. It is a term that arose out of the treatment of alcoholics and refers to how one person, generally a spouse, would benefit in some way by having their alcoholic partner remain an alcoholic. And the alcoholic partner would, of course, benefit by having the spouse benefit from their alcoholism.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,456 views4/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Love And Despair: Recovering From A Break-Up

When we are in love, the world is golden and nothing gets us down. When we are out of love, we are desperate to regain those feelings we had while in love. The desperation can be so intense, we find ourselves thinking and doing things we would be ashamed to tell our best friend. The excitement of falling in love, being in love, is not just a thrilling psychological and emotional experience. It is as well a bio-chemical experience, what might be called a "high," and there are resemblances to a chemical addiction, and withdrawal, which become evident when we break-up.

Primary topic: Psychology

9,433 views4/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Yoga - The Life Breath Of Generations

Yoga is generally considered to be a set of physical postures; often a class to which millions of people throughout the world go to stretch this way and that. Yoga, however, is a much grander philosophy which encompasses not just physical health but mental well-being and spiritual regeneration. Yoga is often ridiculed and made fun of in today’s modern materialistic societies; it has also been revered in many of yesterday’s ancient spiritual societies.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,794 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Do You Need To Be Loved? Or, Love To Be Needed?

I'm sure you have heard couple's of all ages say to each other "I love you." You would probably like hearing it said to you, if it's not already. Sometimes when one person says "I love you" to another person, the response is "me too." I find that an absurd response. What does it mean? That I love me too? A more appropriate response would be "I love you too" and even that isn't terribly poignant. It's kind of like someone asking "how are you" and you say "fine." It's automatic and somewhat meaningless.

Primary topic: Psychology

3,662 views5/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Understanding Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety Disorder (Diagnostic Code 300.23 in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition – DSM IV) is marked by a persistent fear of social or performance situations in which embarrassment may occur along with an immediate anxiety response often reaching the level of panic.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,155 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Pros And Cons Of An Open Mind

An open mind is good thing - most of the time. New ideas, new experience, increased knowledge, personal and professional growth, better relationships and an overall positive approach to life are just a few of the benefits of having an open mind. However, there are some pitfalls. Like an open window or an open door in which bugs can enter the home, an open mind is susceptible to litter, junk, lies and deceptions, false information and misdirection. The open mind, like an open window, needs a screen to keep the bugs out.

Primary topic: Psychology

10,223 views3.5/5 (2)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Hurt People Hurt People

People who are hurt, specifically in an emotional or psychological sense, tend to hurt other people. Hurt people can hurt people with harsh words, biting comments, derogatory statements, ridicule, condescension, sarcasm, yelling and screaming, cussing and innuendo about family members or friends. It doesn’t really matter how a person came to be hurt, for there are hundreds of ways it can happen: childhood trauma such as physical abuse or rape, parental neglect, peer bullying, sibling conflict, to name a few.

Primary topic: Psychology

4,266 views3.7/5 (3)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Danger In Anger

With a dagger in your hand, or a loaded gun nearby….anger is particularly dangerous. It’s one thing to slam doors, throw plates or simply yell, scream or have a temper tantrum. It’s an altogether different level of conce when weapons are involved. Anger itself is not a dangerous emotion; it’s the decisions that arise from an angry mind that become dangerous. Any person who is angry has choices about how to deal with that emotion. Unfortunately, almost by definition, anger is not rational, and the decisions made while angry are not thought out….

Primary topic: Psychology

1,798 views4/5 (2)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Are You Psychologically Fit?

We hear a lot about physical fitness. Every town has at least one, and probably several, gyms. You see people jogging around town and television infomercials are filled with the latest workout program or gadget to help you get into shape. There is no question that physical fitness is important. But, what about psychological fitness?

Primary topic: Psychology

4,513 views2.6/5 (5)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Upside Of Anxiety

Anxiety isn’t all bad; it has an upside. Anxiety can be viewed to have a functional use. It is not arising out of nothing for no purpose. Anxiety is a kind of low grade fear; an apprehension. It is a form of caution. It is an awareness of possible threat, of potential danger. This wariness of our environment goes way back and may, in fact, be at least in part, responsible for our survival. The issue with anxiety is not so much about having it as it is about having it in a particular context, a specific setting, a time and a place.

Primary topic: Psychology

2,131 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Meditation Of Appreciation

Here is a simple meditation that will put a smile on your face….You can do it laying down in bed, sitting up in a chair or in the more traditional cross legged or lotus posture. The meditation of appreciation is basically giving thanks to the many parts of your body that are working. You can often tell when a part of the body is working well when you are NOT noticing it. It is only when things don’t work that we become focused upon them. If you’re NOT aware of your back, then it’s probably working fine. If you’re NOT aware of your toes, then they are likely working fine.

Primary topic: Psychology

3,007 views3.8/5 (8)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Fight Or Flight, Or Feeze; Or, Fusion

For eons, the human organism has been honed and perfected to respond effectively and appropriately to any perceived sense of threat or attack. In modern language, this effective and appropriate response is called the 'fight or flight response.' In lay terms, this means that when we feel threatened or attacked, our first line of defense is generally to either fight back, or run. We have likely experienced this at some time in our lives. Our fight response, however, may be hampered by the conditioning of our upbringing and our society.

Primary topic: Psychology

2,077 views5/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

About Online Counseling

Online counseling is a relatively new therapeutic service. There are many advantages over the traditional in-person face-to-face therapeutic sessions offered in just about every community. And, of course, there are some cons. As the technology has developed, online counseling has also grown expanding from simple email based therapeutic communication to also include chat, pc-to-pc telephone sessions and even web-cam based live video sessions.

Primary topic: Psychology

2,082 views5/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Did You Really Choose To Be Here?

I have often heard from some, as you may have too, that you chose to be here, on this planet, at this time, in the circumstances you find yourself. And why did you choose to be here? To learn lessons. Do you believe that? If so, I am going to suggest that you are misinformed. You did not choose to be here, you are here by the inescapable results of consequences.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,604 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Art of Asking Questions

If information and knowledge is the currency of today's marketplace, then asking questions is the means of accessing that currency. Knowing how to ask what questions when is important in leadership positions, sales, management, teaching and parenting as well as learning in any field of study. We ask so many questions daily that we take it for granted. But, there is art to asking questions. There are two types of questions: open and closed. Closed questions are those that can be answered with one of three words: yes, no or, sometimes, maybe.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,854 views4.5/5 (4)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Learning Learning Styles

You can’t teach somebody something in English if all they speak is Spanish. Well, you can if you are showing them, rather than telling them. Likewise, if you want to teach effectively, you need to understand the student’s preferred learning style. Some people do really well with wordy explanations, while others don’t and would prefer visual type education. Whether you are a parent, a coach, a teacher or a manger, you likely find yourself in a position of having to educate people in your environment. It behooves you to have some understanding of different learning styles.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,478 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Are You Depressed? Or, Is It Something Else?

There is a saying that depression is anger turned in on itself. That means the anger that you may be holding within your mind has nowhere to go and rather than being expressed outwardly, it is festering inside. Like undigested food that turns putrid, the anger becomes depression. You feel lethargic and dull, uninterested in anything. You may find yourself without energy and not wanting to get out of bed. You may find yourself crying, moody and irritable. Your sex drive may diminish to nothing. You may even feel suicidal.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,187 views4/5 (2)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Psychosomatic Symmetries

We know from our own experience about the mind-body connection. For example, if you were to imagine or visualize sucking on a lemon rind, you may very likely begin to salivate. Even though that sucking on the lemon rind is entirely of the mind, it can easily generate bodily responses.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,459 views

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Phobia Self Treatment

Here is a relatively simple method you can do which may be effective in helping you overcome anxiety, panic or a phobia. Let’s take as an example a fear of…..swimming. Let’s say as a child you had some negative experiences while learning to swim. Perhaps you were thrown into the deep end before you really knew fully how to swim; or, perhaps you went running into the pool without your inner tube around your waist and soon found yourself, even in the shallow end, mildly terrorized as you realized you didn’t have your inner tube.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,791 views4/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Imperfection of Perfectionism

Many people strive for some form of perfection. Whether in their work, in their appearance, in their relationships, in their expectations of others…There are a number of problems with perfectionism not the least of which it is simply not possible. Perfection is an ideal, which, almost by definition, is unattainable. Like trying to stand in the middle of a rainbow; as it’s approached, it recedes. The other problem is that the criteria used to gauge perfection are suspect. How did we arrive at these criteria? Is it valid criteria?

Primary topic: Psychology

1,622 views5/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Spheres Of Influence

No man is an island, no woman either for that matter. We are all influenced by our surroundings. Our consciousness is really not our own, but belongs to the environment in which we exist. The appearance of an individual self is an illusion in much the same way empty space appears to be solid matter. And yet, we do experience ourselves as individual entities. But, that does not mean we should ignore the various spheres of influence that make us who we are.

Primary topic: Psychology

6,836 views3.5/5 (4)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Understanding Creative Procrastination

Procrastination has a bad rap. It is a very creative and often useful behavior. Generally defined as putting things off until the last minute, procrastination is also putting things off until the best time. For some, it’s that last minute rush which energizes and motivates. For others, it’s that last minute when important information is made available allowing then for more accurate decisions and actions. Some people may be perceived as procrastinating but they are actually prioritizing, working on more important tasks first.

Primary topic: Psychology

1,615 views4/5 (2)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The War on Worry

We like to go to war on things we think are wrong or bad; the war on drugs, the war on poverty, the war against crime. We need to have a war on worry because worry is wrong and bad; it underlies, and may be in part the cause of, crime, drugs and, perhaps, even poverty. What is worry?

Primary topic: Psychology

1,371 views5/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Pros And Cons Of Black And White Thinkinig

Black and white thinking is sometimes referred to as absolutist or dichotomous thinking. In this kind of thinking, something is all right, or all wrong, all good, or all bad. If you are not a total success, then you are a complete failure. There is no middle ground, regardless of situation or context. It is as if there is only hot water or cold water, no degrees of warm water. There are times when this kind of thinking is useful, even important. For example, for children who live in a home near busy streets, no playing in the street is an absolute rule. No middle ground there, no exceptions.

Primary topic: Psychology

6,900 views5/5 (1)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

Stupid, Fat and Ugly. Or?

Who has not been called stupid, fat or ugly at some time in their life? And, who has not felt hurt by such comments? Even as an adult, to be called any one of those can be hurtful. And, also, to be called the opposite of any one of those would make us feel great. How would you feel if you were told you were smart, fit and beautiful? Of course, it is not really being told either of those extremes that make us feel up or down; it is that we believe the words. If we know we are smart and are called stupid by somebody, it has no real effect, because we know, within ourselves, that we are smart.

Primary topic: Psychology

2,572 views2/5 (3)

By Ken FieldsRecently published1 topic

The Law Of Attraction...And Repulsion

A great deal of what has been said about the Law of Attraction is only half the story. Attraction is one of two forces contained within magnetism. The other is ‘repulsion.’ Magnetism does not operate without both poles. In other words, if you can accept that you are currently attracting the elements of your life, then you are also repelling energies as well, simultaneously. In fact, you are probably repelling a lot more than you are attracting. Your entire field of experience, everything you have attracted to you, is small in comparison to all that is being repelled, all that is possible.

Primary topic: Psychology

10,055 views1.7/5 (7)

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