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Articles by Margaret Paul

Browse every published article connected to Margaret Paul, with exact attribution and full-archive search.

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564 articles by Margaret Paul · showing 50

Browse every published article connected to Margaret Paul, or search within this exact expert archive.

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Relationship Breakup: Heartbreak and Healing

Lindsay called me for counseling because her boyfriend of 18 months had just ended their relationship. Lindsay, 28, had been sure that Jake was "Mr. Right." "I am so heartbroken," sobbed Lindsay. "I don't know how I'm going to get through this. It feels like my heart is breaking apart. I love Jake so much and I thought he loved me too. I don't get how this could have happened, or why it happened. I feel like I can't live without him." "Tell me about your relationship with Jake."

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

6,065 views3/5 (5)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Giving Up: Have You Given Up on Yourself?

"I feel like giving up," Emma told me in our first phone session. "I've worked and worked on myself and I'm still miserable. I've had years of therapy and I still feel unbearably depressed. Nothing is working." "It sounds to me like you are abandoning yourself."

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,268 views3.3/5 (4)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Relationships: Giving Yourself Up Can Kill You

Years ago, when on a book tour for our book, "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", my ex-husband and I had dinner with a couple on the East Coast with whom he had become friends. I connected with Allison (not her real name) immediately. Warm and open, I could see that she was a deeply caring woman. On the other hand, her husband Ken, while overtly charming, had a huge black hole inside that felt like a vacuum cleaner sucking the energy out of everyone. His need for attention was overwhelming to me.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,626 views3.5/5 (8)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Challenge of Conflict

Do you try to control during conflict, or are you conflict avoidant? Neither works well to resolve conflict. Discover what does work!

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,403 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***My Husband is Not Sexual

________________________________________ Are you in a relationship with a man who is not sexual? You are not alone! ________________________________________ In a question to me on one of my webinars, Melanie writes: "My husband is very loving, but not very sexual. I've tried to talk to him about this many times in non-threatening ways, but his lack of enthusiasm toward sex makes it very difficult to engage myself when he finally does get around to feeling sexual. We have zero intimacy mentally and very little physically."r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,498 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Letting Go Of A Sugar Addiction

Have you tried unsuccessfully to heal a sugar addiction? Here's how! Are you sugar addicted? You are not alone!

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,543 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Emotional Dependency vs. Emotional Freedom

What is Emotional Dependency? Lydia consulted with me because her relationship with her husband, Andrew, was falling apart. Andrew had moved out, stating that he could no longer tolerate Lydia's neediness and constant pull on him to make her feel loved and secure. Now that they were separated, Lydia's emotional dependency was getting even worse. She was deeply addicted to Andrew making her feel better, if only through a brief text message.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

7,636 views3.5/5 (6)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Challenges of The Dating Scene

Dating provides many opportunities to learn and grow. Discover some of what you can learn that will be very valuable for you. Franklin writes:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,369 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Staying Centered in Conflict

________________________________________ Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this. ________________________________________ Angela writes:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,299 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"I Feel Empty"

If you feel empty, you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people feel empty inside, and most people who feel empty have some deep false beliefs regarding why they feel empty. Below are some of these false beliefs. I feel empty because: • My partner is not giving me enough love and attention. • I don't have a partner. • I'm bored because my partner doesn't provide me with enough stimulation.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

10,289 views4.3/5 (6)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Art of Setting Boundaries

Discover what a boundary is and what it isn't. Merilee wrote the following question to me in one of my relationship webinars: "Hi Dr. Paul -- One of my biggest struggles is being open to giving and receiving love, but also setting boundaries. I want to be loving, not controlling, but I don't want people to say or treat me in ways that I don't like. How to reconcile?"

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,520 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Art of Conversation

________________________________________ Do you have mostly one-way or two-way conversations? What kind of conversationalist are you? ________________________________________ What happens in your conversations with people? The kind of conversation you have with someone says a lot about both you and them. There are mainly two kinds of conversations: one-way conversations and two-way conversations. One-Way Conversations

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,535 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Why Don't I Have Friends?

"Why don't I have friends?" asked Isabella in one of our phone counseling sessions. Isabella, 25 and very attractive, was having a problem that many people have. Sometimes, if people don't keep their high school friends or meet friends in college or at work, they may have trouble making friends. Yet there are many people who seem to be able to make friends wherever they go. What is the difference betwee Isabella and these people who easily make friends? Actually, there is a big difference.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,042 views4.5/5 (2)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Terror that Triggers Protective Behaviors

________________________________________ Do you know what triggers you and why? ________________________________________ Have you ever found yourself suddenly feeling angry or scared or shut down when a moment ago you were feeling fine? People or situations can trigger us into rage, anger, blame, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal, numbness, dissociation, explaining, complaining, lecturing, righteousness and so on. These triggered feelings are generally attached to previous traumatic events, such as: • Abuse – emotional, physical and/or sexualr

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,674 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Cinderella Was Not Saved - She Was a Happy Person All Along!

Would the prince have chose Cinderella to marry if she was a miserable young woman? If her stepsisters were beautiful but miserable, would he have chosen either of them? Are you living under the delusion that when you meet your soul mate you will finally be happy - that your misery is because ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

18,168 views4.1/5 (15)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Are You Emotionally Dependent?

Discover the difference between needs coming from emotional dependency and authentic needs that we have within a relationship. ________________________________________ Every few weeks I do a free webinar. People can listen on their computers or on the phone; they can write in asking questions or they can ask me directly on the phone. Here is one of the questions a woman – I will call her Susan - asked in a webinar on emotional dependency:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,319 views5/5 (6)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Relationships: Why Do You Attack and Blame?

"A woman who I was dating and who I really liked ended our relationship and is dating someone else. I see her all the time at the market and I feel like yelling at her." "I keep vowing not to, but I keep getting really angry at my husband when he is distant." "I lost my temper with my ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,261 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***7 Rules for Saving Your Marriage

Is your marriage in trouble? The first question you need to ask yourself is: "Do I want to save this marriage or do I want to leave it?" If the answer is that you want to save it, then this article is for you. Following are 7 rules or choices that you can make to completely change the course ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,411 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

Moving Beyond Negative Emotions

"Sooner or later, all of us must see that negative feelings toward another person is like tossing dust at him while the wind blows against us. It all comes back." --Vernon Howard, Psycho-Pictography Negative emotions, such as anger, blame, resentment, misery, jealousy, hurt, guilt, shame, and ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,851 views4/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

The Calm Mind

"The more tranquil a [person] becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom." --James Allen, 1864-1912, Author of As A Man Thinketh Of all the challenges in life, calmness of mind is probably one of ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

6,164 views4/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

Self-Esteem: Who Do You Want to Be?

"We lift ourselves by our thought. If you want to enlarge your life, you must first enlarge your thought of it and of yourself. Hold the ideal of yourself as you long to be, always everywhere."n--Orison Sweet Marden, 1850-1924, Author and Founder of Success Magazine How do you see yourself in ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,730 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Health and Nutrition: Feeling the Effects of Food

If you are a junk food junkie or you often don't eat well and are unconce ed with health and nutrition, why is this? Everyday we read about or see on TV how sugar, soft drinks, many kinds of fats, fried foods, factory farmed foods, devitalized, packaged and processed food, pesticide laden food, ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,351 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Conflict: Why Do You Argue, Why Do You Fight in Conflict?

Think about the last time you had a conflict with someone and you argued - with your partner, your friend, your parent, your child, or someone else in your life. What did you argue about, and why did you spend your energy arguing or fighting? Reasons for Arguing and Fighting Here are some of ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,124 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***I'm Neat, He's Messy--What Can I Do?

________________________________________ Is your partner's messiness driving you crazy? Discover how to resolve this issue in your relationship. ________________________________________ When we meet and fall in love with someone, we often don't think about what might seem like minor differences, which can later turn into major conflicts. One of these differences that frequently occurs with my clients is neatness vs. messiness. Vanessa, in one of our Skype sessions, said:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,229 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

10 Keys to Inner Peace and Joy

Inner peace and joy are spiritual gifts. The gifts of Spirit enter the heart when we make the choices we need to make to be available to them. What are these choices? Presence Peace and joy exist in this present moment - not in the past or future. If you are in your left-brain ego programmed ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,350 views4/5 (2)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Connecting With Loved Ones

As social beings, our desire for connection is a deep and powerful force within us. Babies who do not experience connection with a caregiver do not thrive or may even die. Deep connection with another is one of the greatest joys in life. Yet for many people, this deep and joyous connection ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,803 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

Weight: The Key to Weight Loss

How often have you eaten something that you know is going to put weight on you and you tell yourself that it doesn't count? Do you have any idea how many calories you actually consume in a day, and how many you need to lose weight or to maintain weight? Is it possible that you think you are not ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,029 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?

"I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else." - Winston Churchill When you notice your thoughts, which kind of thoughts predominate? Do you find yourself often thinking pessimistic thoughts such as: I'll never get where I want to go. I'm a loser.I'm not smart enough to ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

6,124 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Why Do You Blame?

Take a moment to think about who you blame for your feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, aloneness, emptiness, loneliness, helplessness, inadequacy, shame, depression, anxiety, fear, and so on. What is really going on inside when you blame someone else for your feelings? Many people have a ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,244 views3/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Why Many Women Don't Think About Sex

Are you a woman who rarely or never thinks about sex? Have you believed that was something wrong with you? ________________________________________ Lave e wrote the following to me:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,601 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Caring: For Outcomes or for Joy

Many people have the ability to truly care and receive joy when caring from the heart. Yet even very caring people sometimes find themselves using caring as a form of control. Take a moment right now to think about a situation today in which you were caring - at home, at work, with a friend, ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,468 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Fear of Failure: What Does Failure Mean to You?

What do you believe about failure? The ego wounded part of ourselves, the left-brain part of ourselves that has been programmed with many false beliefs, often believes that: "If I fail, I am a failure." "If I fail, I am stupid." "If I fail, no one will like me or value me." "If I fail, then ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,910 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

* Is Your Marriage Suffering From Emotional Infidelity?

Emotional infidelity occurs when you or your partner become emotionally connected with someone outside your relationship, either in person or on the Internet. How dangerous to a marriage or committed relationship is emotional infidelity? One way of looking at emotional infidelity is that it is ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,338 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***9 Secrets For A Joyful Life

________________________________________ Joy is our birthright - a gift of Spirit. Discover the choices you can make to lead a joyful life. ________________________________________ 1. Self-Compassion Rather Than Self-Judgment

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,853 views4/5 (3)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***7 Step "Tongue-in-Cheek" Guide To Never Having an Experience of God

Are you one of those people who secretly wish you believed in God? Or are you one of those people who believe in God in an abstract way rather than a personal way? Are you actually doing everything you can to never have an experience of God, while denying that this is what you are doing? Now you ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,694 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** "I'm Consumed With My Ex

________________________________________ Discover why you might be obsessing about an ex and how to stop. ________________________________________ "How do I stop allowing my ex to consume my thoughts?" asks Tammy. "Is your ex consuming your thoughts, or are you consumed with your ex?" I ask. "What's the difference?" Tammy asks.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,927 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*Relationships: The Power Of Good Will

Research into good marriages indicates that the most important choice healthy couples make is to have good will toward each other. This may seems like a simple requirement, yet many couples have anything but good will toward each other. Instead, they make it far more important to: Attempt to ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,941 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Real Love Versus Infatuation

________________________________________ Do you know the difference between real love and infatuation? They are light years apart. ________________________________________ In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person.~Margaret Andersonr Real love is never ownership, only stewardship of this moment's experiences. ~Karen Casey

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,744 views3/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Are You Abandoning Yourself?

________________________________________ Do you believe that feelings of abandonment are coming from others abandoning you - or do they come from self-abandonment? ________________________________________ When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for – a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,939 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Do You Feel Free?

"...no one ever pushes you toward freedom. You need to take that for yourself."n--Joan Erickson, wife of psychologist Erik Erickson, quoted in Joan Anderson's book, A Walk on the Beach. Do you believe that someone has to give you your freedom? Do you believe that you can be free only when you ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,394 views5/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Wanting Mind, Part 1

"This force [that keeps us always wanting] is known in several Buddhist traditions as the Wanting Mind. The Wanting Mind is always craving an experience different from the one it currently has."n--Brent Kessel, It's Not About the Money There is nothing wrong with wanting - wanting more time, ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,528 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Do You Come To Your Partner Open And/or Happy?

________________________________________ Are you aware of what state you are in when you and your partner come together? ________________________________________ On a recent visit with my daughter and her family, she and I were taking a walk and talking about our mutual work.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,201 views5/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Do You See The Obstacle Or The Goal?

________________________________________ Where does your mind generally go - to the obstacles or to the goal? You CAN change your mindset if it is stopping you from having what you want. ________________________________________ Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~Henry Ford

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,832 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Does Niceness Get A Closed Person Open?

________________________________________ Were you taught that if you were nice others would be nice? ________________________________________ "I had this really terrible interaction on the phone with a customer on Tuesday," Carlton told me in our Skype session. "This guy was so closed and controlling. He just kept yelling about what he wanted me to do. I was being really nice, but it didn't seem to make any difference. The conversation went on for an hour and we didn't get anywhere. He just kept acting crazy. I ended up exhausted and drained. Why do people have to be like that?"r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,759 views4/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Oneness With God

________________________________________ Have you ever felt the Grace of oneness with God? There are many things you can do to have this at will. ________________________________________ "Praying without ceasing is not ritualized, nor are there even words. It is a constant state of awareness of oneness with God." ~Peace Pilgrim “…awareness of oneness with God.” What does this mean?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,317 views4/5 (2)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Breaking Down or Breaking Open

________________________________________ Breaking down keeps you stuck, while breaking open allows you to discover the power within yourself. ________________________________________ "Something I didn't want to happen, happens. I feel the resistance build within. I feel the pressure to control what is obviously out of my control. I become aware of what I'm doing—I become aware of the choice either to break down or to break open." Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open, p. 256

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,521 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Authenticity, Transparency and Integrity

Do you know how to disce when someone is being transparent and authentic and when they are being duplicitous? We seem to be living in a time when authenticity and transparency are not highly valued. We have only to look at government and many government agencies such as the FDA, politics, the military, big corporations, some religious leaders, drug companies, insurance companies and the media to see that manipulation and lies are the norm. Many of us have naturally come to mistrust much of what is being said in the media.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,310 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

The Powerful Secret to A Loving Relationship

There are many factors that go into creating a loving relationship. Certainly it helps if two people have some things in common regarding how they like to spend their time. It also helps if they have common values around religion or spirituality, around politics, the environment, abortion, and ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,991 views5/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

Codependent Relationships: Takers and Caretakers

Takers and caretakers – they often seem to find each other! As a counselor who has worked with relationships for 37 years, I can tell you that this is the most frequent relationship dynamic that I encounter. Takers are people who tend to be narcissistic – that is, they are ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,489 views5/5 (1)

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

Bonding With Your Partner - Without Candles, Wine or Lingerie!

A jou alist interviewed me regarding intimacy in relationships. One of her questions was, “What are some of the easy ways in which husband and wife can bond - without candles and wine and expensive lingerie?” Easy ways? Well, it depends on what you mean by easy! Bonding has ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,563 views

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