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Articles by Martha Bodyfelt

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67 articles by Martha Bodyfelt · showing 50

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By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

This is why you can’t shake being pissed off all the time. But here’s what you can do about it.

Hey, so does this ever happen to you? It may have been months since your divorce ended, and you thought you were doing okay. You were picking yourself up financially, making your home your own, and trying some new activities and were feeling pretty good about yourself. But then it hits you and won’t leave. That anger--that pure rage once you look back and realize just how awful your ex treated you. The time you found the messages from another woman on his cell phone.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,545 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of your divorce drama? Here's how to ditch it!

Psssst, wanna know a little divorce secret? Your daily divorce drama is an illusion. Sure, to you, it can feel all too real, but the fact is we get stuck in the drama mud because we have never been been taugt how to break ourselves away from it. People love to tell you to hold your head up high, and to be like Teflon, but during divorce nobody bothers to dig deeper into why you feel like crap, and how you can use that reasoning for getting unstuck.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,270 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of your divorce drama? Here's how to ditch it!

Psssst, wanna know a little divorce secret? Your daily divorce drama is an illusion. Sure, to you, it can feel all too real, but the fact is we get stuck in the drama mud because we have never been been taugt how to break ourselves away from it. People love to tell you to hold your head up high, and to be like Teflon, but during divorce nobody bothers to dig deeper into why you feel like crap, and how you can use that reasoning for getting unstuck.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,435 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Divorced and dreading the holidays? Here's what to do.

Well, Thanksgiving is done and we’ve survived Black Friday. But we’re not through the holiday abyss yet. Which means we’ll most likely be dreading the stress, craziness and visions of perfection shoved down our throats. For many of us, the holidays can feel dark, lonely, and stressful—especially if we are going through or recovering from divorce. And instead of looking forward to the beautiful decorations, smell of baking pies, and holiday songs on the radio, we instead may feel triggered by sadness.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,258 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Sick of being bitter after divorce? Help is here!

When we are experiencing or recovering from divorce after 50, remembering to find joy in everyday things can be difficult. One of the reasons that, despite our best efforts, we can find it almost impossible to move on is when we are prisoner to one of the ugliest feelings of all. Being bitter and resentful. Resentment is nasty. Unlike feelings of guilt and shame, what makes resentment so ugly is that it has a tendency to turn you, an otherwise kind and reasonable person, into someone who is so angry at their own life situation that it is impossible to recover.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,421 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Are you afraid to be alone? Here's what to do!

How to beat your divorce loneliness When you are recovering from divorce, loneliness is definitely an obstacle that keeps you from moving on. We get stuck in this mindset because it makes us feel like we have nobody in the world. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Take a look at the mindful strategies that can help you kick your loneliness to the curb as you start this new chapter in your life. Being alone does not mean being lonely.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,254 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of Being Bitter?

When we are experiencing or recovering from divorce, remembering to find joy in everyday things during any season can be difficult. One of the reasons that, despite our best efforts, we can find it almost impossible to move on is when we are prisoner to one of the ugliest feelings of all. Being Bitter.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,574 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Are you making this five huge divorce mistakes?

Although feeling overwhelmed and confused during divorce is normal, remember to avoid the egregious divorce mistakes. It will save you time, money, and your sanity so that you can move on to the next chapter of your life better, not broken or bitter. Not looking at the big picture

Primary topic: Divorce

896 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

How to Avoid the 5 Divorce Mistakes that Keep you from Moving On

Although feeling overwhelmed and confused during divorce is normal, avoiding these common boomer mistakes can save you unnecessary drama and stress so you can move on with your life. Missing the Big Picture. Divorce feels awful because as a society, none of us are taught to plan ahead for it. Funny, isn't it? For years, doctors have been telling us to take care of ourselves so we will feel better as we age. Financial advisors preached about planning for retirement for years. Why don't we apply those same principles to divorce?

Primary topic: Divorce

1,916 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Is rejection actually a gift? Yes!

None of us are immune to rejection. It doesn’t matter where you are in life, and whether it’s ending a marriage or breaking up with a partner. Even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about and spent our lives with as a partner suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore. “Why don’t they love me anymore?” “What did I do wrong?” “What’s wrong with me?” “What could I have done differently?”

Primary topic: Divorce

1,580 views5/5 (1)

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

How to let go of your anger before, during, and after divorce.

As you recover from your divorce and move on, there is one all-too-common emotion that causes us way more headaches than you need. Anger. Being ticked off. The persistent rage that will not leave you but could jeopardize your future relationships. To start off with, there is something that you must remember. Anger is a thief. Don’t let it rob you of your chance to move on.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,371 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

How to be in love with everything you have in 4 easy steps.

So, you want to know about one of my favorite guilty pleasures? You might have a similar one. I love watching House Hunters on HGTV! There’s nothing better to do on a lazy Sunday morning, coffee in hand (or let’s be honest…a homemade mimosa) than curled up on my couch watching TV, and shouting at it, telling the clueless couple to go with House #2 because they can just repaint the damn walls instead of making the horrible decision of going with House #1.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,289 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Unfair Divorce? Great, nobody cares.

Divorce is completley unfair and can screw you over. It’s up to you to move on. Ah, if only moving on, especially after a divorce or break-up, were so easy. There are so many obstacles that hold us back when recovering from divorce, but perhaps the elephant in the room deals with the concept of what is right, what is fair, and what is owed to us. That feeling of injustice takes hold of us and hardly lets go when we’re trying to recover. You know that feeling—the one where you feel like you’ve been screwed over during divorce.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,166 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

You already have what you need to kick some serious butt.

So, you want to know about one of my favorite guilty pleasures? You might have a similar one. I love watching House Hunters on HGTV! There’s nothing better to do on a lazy Sunday morning, coffee in hand (or let’s be honest…a homemade mimosa) than curled up on my couch watching TV, and shouting at it, telling the clueless couple to go with House #2 because they can just repaint the damn walls instead of making the horrible decision of going with House #1—the one the husband wants that’s $75,000 over budget but is big enough for him to build custom brick oven for his artisanal pizzas.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,501 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

I’m finally divorced, so why is my self-esteem still so low?

I noticed something recently that I want to talk to you about. Do you ever find yourself thinking the following deep thoughts... Ugh. Why do I still feel like shit? I thought I’d be totally confident after all of this divorce stuff was over, so why is my confidence still in the dumpster? LIke, what the f*ck is wrong with me? Ain’t nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. You’re feeling like this because you may have never been given that confidence early on in your life--the confidence that would have helped you not feel like shiznat once you were newly single. Say what?

Primary topic: Divorce

930 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

This is the key to letting go of your divorce anger.

As you recover from your divorce and move on, there is one all-too-common emotion that causes us way more headaches than you need. Anger. Being ticked off. The persistent rage that will not leave you but could jeopardize your future relationships. To start off with, there is something that you must remember. Anger is a thief. Don’t let it rob you of your chance to move on.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,019 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

How to Get your Self-Esteem back after a Break-Up

One of the many things we struggle with as we learn to recover from a break-up is learning how to rebuild our self-esteem. It’s easy to understand why this is such an issue. When your relationship ends, you may feel rejected. You may feel unworthy. You sit crying on your coach, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s at hand, wondering why your partner does not love you anymore. You may think, as you’re stumbling through the list of to-do’s and stress of everything else going on in your life, that nobody will ever find you attractive and worthy of love.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,357 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

3 Steps to Beat Divorce Loneliness when you’re on Facebook

We’ve all been there. You pour a glass of wine after a long day at work, and all you want to do is some mindless scrolling on Facebook to give yourself a mental break. But the exact opposite happens. The first thing on your newsreel is a picture of flowers that your high school acquaintance Janine--the annoying cheerleader who married her school sweetheart--is bragging about. The flowers are beautiful, and she’s put the caption, “30 years strong, married to my best friend” or some corny BS like that.

Primary topic: Divorce

852 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Why is healing after divorce so hard?!

Hey, gorgeous! If your divorce is finished, you might be kicking yourself. I know I was. Back in 2011, my year-long divorce was finalized, but I wasn’t jumping up and down and doing cartwheels. I felt stuck. Sure, I was going to therapy and had good friends, but I was still struggling. I was putting myself first, slowly learning how to manage my money better (definitely a shock when I no longer had my husband’s income, or our fancy lifestyle anymore), but I didn’t feel like Hollywood told me I should feel.

Primary topic: Divorce

883 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

This is the key to letting go of your divorce anger.

As you recover from your divorce and move on, there is one all-too-common emotion that causes us way more headaches than you need. Anger. Being ticked off. The persistent rage that will not leave you but could jeopardize your future relationships. To start off with, there is something that you must remember. Anger is a thief. Don’t let it rob you of your chance to move on.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,041 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Are you screwing up the chance to be happy?

I thought my world had ended back in January. I had this job and career that made me comfortable and paid well. It was not necessarily a job that I loved, but it made me feel secure and gave me the validation that I thought I needed. Until I was laid off. I started to panic, because although I was not necessarily happy with it, it least it paid the bills and the thought of financially uncertainty terrified me.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,684 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Can rejection actually be a good thing?

None of us are immune to rejection. It doesn’t matter where you are in life, and whether it’s ending a marriage or breaking up with a partner. Even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about and spent our lives with as a partner suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore. “Why don’t they love me anymore?” “What did I do wrong?” “What’s wrong with me?” “What could I have done differently?”

Primary topic: Divorce

1,359 views5/5 (1)

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Saying sorry is killing you.

Want to feel better? Then quit apologizing! Ever been in a situation like this before? You don’t pick up the phone in time and when you call the person back, the first words out of your mouth are “I’m sorry.” You bring store-bought cupcakes to your friend’s party and you utter “I’m sorry.” You vent to a good friend about something going on, and you say, “Sorry for rambling.” Notice the pattern going on? You’re apologizing. Waaaaaaay too much. And it’s those apologies that are screwing with your self-esteem and slowing your divorce recovery.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,010 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Don't be afraid to piss people off.

Want to feel more confident? Then don't be afraid to piss people off. Here’s the uncomfortable truth, friends. In your journey to get confident and feel better about yourself, you cannot be afraid to step on toes. In other words... Don’t be afraid to piss people off. Strong women will end up pissing people off. And that’s okay. Now, to be clear, I’m not talking about pissing folks off in the wanton, sociopathic, “Fatal Attraction” bunny rabbit kind of way.

Primary topic: Divorce

946 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

What to do when things didn't turn out the way you expected.

So I’ve been hearing this one thing a lot from readers and clients of mine who are trying to move the hell on... “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” “We were supposed to grow old together.” “I was supposed to retire in a few years, but now I have to go back to work because of the divorce.” “I was supposed to be on his health insurance, but now I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Supposed to... I should be.... Sound familiar? Ah, the language of expectations. Or rather, unmet expectations that now haunt us.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,905 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

This is the #1 thing you must do to stick up for yourself.

This is the #1 thing you must do to stick up for yourself. Here’s the uncomfortable truth, friends. In your journey to get confident and feel better about yourself, you cannot be afraid to step on toes. In other words... Don’t be afraid to piss people off. Strong women will end up pissing people off. And that’s okay. Now, to be clear, I’m not talking about pissing folks off in the wanton, sociopathic, “Fatal Attraction” bunny rabbit kind of way.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,337 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Feeling Lost After Divorce? Help is here!

Divorce is tough for many reasons. Not only are we dealing with the emotions and logistics and finances, but after the dust has settled, we may feel like our life's plans have changed direction. The life you planned and your vision of the future may disappear, leaving you with a feeling of not knowing what to do or where to go from here. But when you feel like this, don’t panic! There is merely one thing you must remember: You May Feel Lost Because Your Internal GPS is No Longer Working

Primary topic: Divorce

1,573 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Are you making this HUGE happiness mistake?

I thought my world had ended back in January. I had this job and career that made me comfortable and paid well. It was not necessarily a job that I loved, but it made me feel secure and gave me the validation that I thought I needed. Until I was laid off. I started to panic, because although I was not necessarily happy with it, it least it paid the bills and the thought of financially uncertainty terrified me.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,355 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

The secret to beating your guilt for good

Guilt. What an ugly word and a terrible feeling. Guilt comes in all sorts of mutating forms before, during, and after divorce. We may feel guilty because of a specific/concrete action we have done, or, more likely, divorce guilt permeates our lives like a mist running through our bodies. It’s a general, lingering feeling that comes from a variety of factors—things that have nothing to do with us but nevertheless continue to threaten our happiness.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,185 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of feeling like a doormat?

It happens all the time and you’re probably not even aware of it. Or you are aware of it, but you’ve just accepted it as a way of life. Your boss just *assumes* you’re going to work late...even though you already made plans. Your ex texts you, saying how sad he is, although you asked him to quit quit contacting you. Your adult daughter hangs up on you when she gets a call from a friend.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,375 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Stressing about the holidays? Here's what you need to know.

Well, Thanksgiving is done and we’ve survived Black Friday. But we’re not through the holiday abyss yet. Which means we’ll most likely be dreading the stress, craziness and visions of perfection shoved down our throats. For many of us, the holidays can feel dark, lonely, and stressful—especially if we are going through or recovering from divorce. And instead of looking forward to the beautiful decorations, smell of baking pies, and holiday songs on the radio, we instead may feel triggered by sadness.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,108 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Here's what to do when you're worried about the holidays.

For many of us, the holidays can feel dark, lonely, and stressful—especially if we are going through or recovering from divorce. And instead of looking forward to the beautiful decorations, smell of baking pies, and holiday songs on the radio, we instead may feel triggered by sadness. Moving on from divorce and our lives does not mean that we cannot enjoy the holidays. In fact, we can even make them better than over before when we remember the following. Manage expectations, but remain optimistic.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,434 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Is your divorce actually a blessing in disguise?

Divorce is tough, especially when you’re a mom. You already have a million things to worry about—taking care of the kids, professional obligations, making sure the house doesn’t look like a nuclear fall-out, worrying about college tuition, retirement, aging parents—the list goes on. So, when you mix those life events with the heartbreak, stress, and loss of confidence that many experience during divorce, it can all seem like a terrible nightmare, wondering if you'll be stable or happy again.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,208 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Are you screwing up the chance to be happy?

I thought my world had ended back in January. I had this job and career that made me comfortable and paid well. It was not necessarily a job that I loved, but it made me feel secure and gave me the validation that I thought I needed. Until I was laid off. I started to panic, because although I was not necessarily happy with it, it least it paid the bills and the thought of financially uncertainty terrified me.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,681 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Stressing about the holidays? Here's what you need to know.

Well, Thanksgiving is done and we’ve survived Black Friday. But we’re not through the holiday abyss yet. Which means we’ll most likely be dreading the stress, craziness and visions of perfection shoved down our throats. For many of us, the holidays can feel dark, lonely, and stressful—especially if we are going through or recovering from divorce. And instead of looking forward to the beautiful decorations, smell of baking pies, and holiday songs on the radio, we instead may feel triggered by sadness.

Primary topic: Divorce

949 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Divorced and still angry? Here's that to do.

Hey, so does this ever happen to you? It may have been months since your divorce ended, and you thought you were doing okay. You were picking yourself up financially, making your home your own, and trying some new activities and were feeling pretty good about yourself. But then it hits you and won’t leave. That anger--that pure rage once you look back and realize just how awful your ex treated you. The time you found the messages from another woman on his cell phone.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,042 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

This is the key to letting go of your divorce anger.

As you recover from your divorce and move on, there is one all-too-common emotion that causes us way more headaches than you need. Anger. Being ticked off. The persistent rage that will not leave you but could jeopardize your future relationships. To start off with, there is something that you must remember. Anger is a thief. Don’t let it rob you of your chance to move on.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,073 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Feeling Jelous after your Divorce or Breakup? Here's what to do.

You know that feeling. Some of us know it all too well during divorce and after divorce. When one of your grown children, after spending the weekend with your ex, tells you about the "new friend" that is at your ex's house. Or when you hear about the trip your ex is taking to Europe while you’re struggling to make ends meet. Ah, jealousy. The Green Eyed Monster that consumes us, when what we should really be doing is focusing on our own divorce recovery.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,421 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of your divorce drama? Here's how to ditch it!

Psssst, wanna know a little divorce secret? Your daily divorce drama is an illusion. Sure, to you, it can feel all too real, but the fact is we get stuck in the drama mud because we have never been been taugt how to break ourselves away from it. People love to tell you to hold your head up high, and to be like Teflon, but during divorce nobody bothers to dig deeper into why you feel like crap, and how you can use that reasoning for getting unstuck.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,383 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Jealous after Divorce? Help is here!

You know that feeling. Some of us know it all too well during divorce and after divorce. When one of your grown children, after spending the weekend with your ex, tells you about the "new friend" that is at your ex's house. Or when you hear about the trip your ex is taking to Europe while you’re struggling to make ends meet. Ah, jealousy. The Green Eyed Monster that consumes us, when what we should really be doing is focusing on our own divorce recovery.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,168 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of feeling like a doormat? Here's how to stand up for yourself.

It happens all the time and you’re probably not even aware of it. Or you are aware of it, but you’ve just accepted it as a way of life. Your boss just *assumes* you’re going to work late...even though you already made plans. Your ex texts you, saying how sad he is, although you asked him to quit contacting you. Your adult daughter hangs up on you when she gets a call from a friend.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,349 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of your divorce drama? Here's how to ditch it!

Psssst, wanna know a little divorce secret? Your daily divorce drama is an illusion. Sure, to you, it can feel all too real, but the fact is we get stuck in the drama mud because we have never been been taugt how to break ourselves away from it. People love to tell you to hold your head up high, and to be like Teflon, but during divorce nobody bothers to dig deeper into why you feel like crap, and how you can use that reasoning for getting unstuck.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,270 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

If you're lonely after your divorce, here's what to do.

When you are recovering from divorce, loneliness is definitely an obstacle that keeps you from moving on. We get stuck in this mindset because it makes us feel like we have nobody in the world. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Take a look at the mindful strategies that can help you kick your loneliness to the curb as you start this new chapter in your life. Being alone does not mean being lonely.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,217 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Is your anger keep you stuck? Here's what to know.

As you recover from your divorce and move on, there is one all-too-common emotion that causes us way more headaches than you need. Anger. Being ticked off. The persistent rage that will not leave you but could jeopardize your future relationships. To start off with, there is something that you must remember. Anger is a thief. Don’t let it rob you of your chance to move on.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,601 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of feeling like a doormat?

It happens all the time and you’re probably not even aware of it. Or you are aware of it, but you’ve just accepted it as a way of life. Your boss just *assumes* you’re going to work late...even though you already made plans. Your ex texts you, saying how sad he is, although you asked him to quit quit contacting you. Your adult daughter hangs up on you when she gets a call from a friend.

Primary topic: Divorce

828 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Did you just dodge a bullet?

Hey, Gorgeous! So, I'm not going to tell you something that you don't already know. Rejection sucks. There’s no way around it. As we learn to move on after divorce, even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about and spend our lives with as a partner suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore. “Why don’t they love me anymore?” “What did I do wrong?” “What’s wrong with me?” “What could I have done differently?”

Primary topic: Divorce

811 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Struggling right now? How to let go of unmet expectations

So I’ve been hearing this one thing a lot from readers and clients of mine who are trying to move the hell on... “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” “We were supposed to grow old together.” “I was supposed to retire in a few years, but now I have to go back to work because of the divorce.” “I was supposed to be on his health insurance, but now I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Supposed to... I should be.... Sound familiar? Ah, the language of expectations. Or rather, unmet expectations that now haunt us.

Primary topic: Divorce

970 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

This is the key to letting go of your divorce anger.

As you recover from your divorce and move on, there is one all-too-common emotion that causes us way more headaches than you need. Anger. Being ticked off. The persistent rage that will not leave you but could jeopardize your future relationships. To start off with, there is something that you must remember. Anger is a thief. Don’t let it rob you of your chance to move on.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,054 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

4 Divorce Myths you need to bust so you can get what you want.

If you’re divorced and still feel guilty or ashamed about asking for what you want, you may be struggling with common myths that are making you feel like you’re not worthy. Today, you’ll learn the top divorce myths that keep you from getting what you want. And learn the powerful steps for busting those myths. Divorce Myth #1: Asking for what you want is selfish.

Primary topic: Divorce

777 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Finding Joy During Your Divorce is Easier than you Think!

When we are experiencing loss and sadness in our life, everyday can feel like a struggle. Whether it is recovering from loss of a loved one, divorce, a lay-off, or anything else, we forget to take care of ourselves and find joy at the time when we need it most. Learning how to reinvent ourselves, establish our independence again, and figure out what we want during this next chapter of our lives is a bit overwhelming. Oftentimes, we may forget to see all the wonderful things that await us.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,419 views

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