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Articles by Martha Bodyfelt

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67 articles by Martha Bodyfelt · showing 17

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By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of being around toxic people? Here's what to do.

When you’re working to get your confidence back and build boundaries after divorce, there is one “hiding in plain sight” barrier that will keep you from reaching your goals. And that’s surrounding yourself with toxic people. You know *exactly* who they are... The pushy one with unsolicited advice that makes you doubt your decisionsr The catty female with snide comments and back-handed complimentsr The one who blames you and makes herself the victim when you call her out on her shit. Sound like anyone you know?

Primary topic: Divorce

1,029 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Hey, that's not what I was expecting!

So I’ve been hearing this one thing a lot from readers and clients of mine who are trying to move the hell on... “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” “We were supposed to grow old together.” “I was supposed to retire in a few years, but now I have to go back to work because of the divorce.” “I was supposed to be on his health insurance, but now I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Supposed to... I should be.... Sound familiar? Ah, the language of expectations. Or rather, unmet expectations that now haunt us.

Primary topic: Divorce

936 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of feeling jealous? Here's what to do.

You know that feeling. Some of us know it all too well during divorce and after divorce. When one of your grown children, after spending the weekend with your ex, tells you about the "new friend" that is at your ex's house. Or when you hear about the trip your ex is taking to Europe while you’re struggling to make ends meet. Ah, jealousy. The Green Eyed Monster that consumes us, when what we should really be doing is focusing on our own divorce recovery.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,280 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

How to love exactly where you are right now.

In my neck of the woods, the promise of spring is starting appear. The once-barren trees now have cherry blossoms peaking out. And the air—the type that freezes the inside of your nostrils and hits your chest so it’s hard to breath and hurts your already-chapped face—is little by little warming up and not feeling so miserable. Every morning when I go out to walk my dog, I say to myself, “Wow, I can’t wait for winter to end.” “I can’t wait for spring to come and the flowers to bloom.” I can’t wait. I can’t wait. I can’t wait.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,671 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tired of your divorce drama? Here's how to ditch it!

Psssst, wanna know a little divorce secret? Your daily divorce drama is an illusion. Sure, to you, it can feel all too real, but the fact is we get stuck in the drama mud because we have never been been taugt how to break ourselves away from it. People love to tell you to hold your head up high, and to be like Teflon, but during divorce nobody bothers to dig deeper into why you feel like crap, and how you can use that reasoning for getting unstuck.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,378 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Feeling Jealous After Divorce? Help is Here!

You know that feeling. Some of us know it all too well during divorce and after divorce. When one of your grown children, after spending the weekend with your ex, tells you about the "new friend" that is at your ex's house. Or when you hear about the trip your ex is taking to Europe while you’re struggling to make ends meet. Ah, jealousy. The Green Eyed Monster that consumes us, when what we should really be doing is focusing on our own divorce recovery.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,029 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Jealous during COVID? Here's what to do.

You know that feeling. Some of us know it all too well during divorce and after divorce. When one of your grown children, after spending the weekend with your ex, tells you about the "new friend" that is at your ex's house. Or when you hear about the trip your ex is taking to Europe after COVID while you’re struggling to make ends meet. Ah, jealousy. The Green Eyed Monster that consumes us, when what we should really be doing is focusing on our own divorce recovery.

Primary topic: Divorce

971 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

What good surprises are there with divorce?

Divorce gets a bad rap. While the process of ending a marriage can definitely shake up your life in all aspects—from the financial to the emotional—there are many unexpected good lessons that divorce in later-life have in store for us. There is a whole new side to you that you never knew existed Ending a marriage can be traumatizing. For years we defined ourselves as spouses, partners, and always as part of a unit.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,700 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

How to Reinvent Yourself After Heartbreak

Today, are going to take those lessons and learn how to apply that divorce gift so you can continue to move on with your life. Don’t think of yourself as just a “divorcee.” You are so much more than that. For years, you probably defined yourself as spouse, partner, and caregiver. Those definitions are all great, but they only make up a part of you. And when we tie ourselves to those definitions, we forget about all the things we once were. But you are now given the incredible gift of redefining yourself. What do you identify with? Are you are dreamer, thinker, and doer?

Primary topic: Divorce

1,411 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Want to feel more confident? Don't be afraid to piss people off.

This is the #1 thing you must do to stick up for yourself. Here’s the uncomfortable truth, friends. In your journey to get confident and feel better about yourself, you cannot be afraid to step on toes. In other words... Don’t be afraid to piss people off. Strong women will end up pissing people off. And that’s okay. Now, to be clear, I’m not talking about pissing folks off in the wanton, sociopathic, “Fatal Attraction” bunny rabbit kind of way.

Primary topic: Divorce

914 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Divorced and dreading the holidays? Here's what to do.

Well, Thanksgiving is done and we’ve survived Black Friday. But we’re not through the holiday abyss yet. Which means we’ll most likely be dreading the stress, craziness and visions of perfection shoved down our throats. For many of us, the holidays can feel dark, lonely, and stressful—especially if we are going through or recovering from divorce. And instead of looking forward to the beautiful decorations, smell of baking pies, and holiday songs on the radio, we instead may feel triggered by sadness.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,264 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

How to Let Go of Your Divorce Anxiety

No matter where you are in the divorce process it’s unavoidable. You know the feeling all too well. That divorce anxiety and stress. The fear of the unknown. The loss of control of the life we thought we knew. It’s normal to panic, but that doesn’t mean you have to go through your days worried that you’re doing something wrong in your divorce, or that you’re going to screw something up. You deserve better than that.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,079 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

This is the key to letting go of your divorce anger.

As you recover from your divorce and move on, there is one all-too-common emotion that causes us way more headaches than you need. Anger. Being ticked off. The persistent rage that will not leave you but could jeopardize your future relationships. To start off with, there is something that you must remember. Anger is a thief. Don’t let it rob you of your chance to move on.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,049 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

What to do when your divorce isn't fair.

It’s unfair to yourself to keep trying to justify why you’re holding on to toxicity. There are lessons in letting go and moving on. Ah, if only moving on, especially after a divorce or break-up, were so easy. There are so many obstacles that hold us back when recovering from divorce, but perhaps the elephant in the room deals with the concept of what is right, what is fair, and what is owed to us. That feeling of injustice takes hold of us and hardly lets go when we’re trying to recovery. You know that feeling—the one where you feel like you’ve been screwed over during divorce.r

Primary topic: Divorce

1,263 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Dumped? How to get your self-esteem back.

One of the many things we struggle with as we learn to recover from a break-up is learning how to rebuild our self-esteem. It’s easy to understand why this is such an issue. When your relationship ends, you may feel rejected. You may feel unworthy. You sit crying on your coach, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s at hand, wondering why your partner does not love you anymore. You may think, as you’re stumbling through the list of to-do’s and stress of everything else going on in your life, that nobody will ever find you attractive and worthy of love.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,711 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Tried of the divorce insanity? Here's how to escape it!

At this point in your divorce journey, you may have already done some research. You may have already talked to a lawyer. You may have already gone on some support forums to see if others have experienced the same crap that you are feeling right now. Some of what others on the forums, or what some in your support group say may make you feel better, and that’s great. But many times, that’s just a one-time feel-good solution that you soon forget the next time some BS comes your way.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,409 views

By Martha BodyfeltRecently published1 topic

Divorce getting you down? Here's the secret to coping.

At this point in your divorce journey, you may have already done some research. You may have already talked to a lawyer. You may have already gone on some support forums to see if others have experienced the same crap that you are feeling right now. Some of what others on the forums, or what some in your support group say may make you feel better, and that’s great. But many times, that’s just a one-time feel-good solution that you soon forget the next time some BS comes your way.

Primary topic: Divorce

1,747 views

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