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Browse every published article connected to Mary Jane Hurley Brant, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
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Browse every published article connected to Mary Jane Hurley Brant, or search within this exact expert archive.
Fear is big these days and, like wildfire, it spreads easily and quickly. Fear is a primal emotion; it triggers our reptilian (more primitive) brain to fight or flee. When the reptilian brain is engaged it overrides rationality. Therefore, whatever our fear is about - our safety, our ...
When you open yourself up to love, you open yourself up to loss. When you suffer a loss, you will experience the painful emotion we call grief. It's a natural response to loss yet to the person going through this afflictive emotion, the experience feels overwhelming. I would like to help you understand that going through it means it is a process not an event and, depending on the personal connection you have to the loss, it is very individual.
Fear is big these days and, like wildfire, it spreads easily and quickly. Fear is a primal emotion; it triggers our reptilian (more primitive) brain to fight or flee. When the reptilian brain is engaged it overrides rationality. Therefore, whatever our fear is about - our safety, our ...
When you lose someone you love and are grieving, Thanksgiving Day feels burdensome and painful. When a brain tumor took away our precious Katie’s life I dreaded that holiday. For seven years we served no rutabagas because they were Katie’s favorite vegetable. The thought of their seasonal aroma wafting through our home without her in it was too much to bear.
After the death of someone we love our grief experience and overall healing has everything to do with our relationship to the deceased, the intensity and depth of the love we felt for them and our degree of faith in a hereafter. In the immediate aftermath of a person's death, it's hard to breathe and everything hurts. We feel shattered, bewildered and frightened. Sometimes, however, grief shows us its own timetable and can be delayed or complicated. I experienced a long delay in time sequence when my father died. I was thirteen years old; it was the springtime of my life.
Many are mou ing the death of Elizabeth Edwards. I would like to share some thoughts of my own about why we are gripped by her life's story. I believe Elizabeth Edwards embodies two archetypes: the mother and the hero. I will focus on the hero archetype believing it is the more prominent. Just as Odysseus was asked to leave his routine life because something serious occurred, we also may be called to do something heroic.
Let's talk about the four seasons of marriage: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Usually we think of marriage as a relationship with our partner but it can also be the state of marriage solely within us called "the inner marriage." The inner marriage is an intimate relationship with ourself. ...
For many people, family gatherings during the Happy Holidays aren't so happy. While most of us enjoy getting together at holidays, mixed feelings of love, anxiety and confusion often collide. But why in the world would family holidays cause conste ation or anxious feelings? Why would family be other than a supreme source of joy? Are not our families the portals in the storm and our safe refuge? Sadly, not always, and the reason is that some families just aren't safe and their communication style is often a big part of the problem.
Some say we don't have anymore heroes but I say we do. Let's take a look at what a hero is and decide if you are one. A hero travels the hero's journey. That's when regular people such as you or me are asked to leave our routine life because something serious has occurred and we are asked to do something about it. We are "called to help." We are called to save our king, our country, our friend, or ourself. And because the task is arduous, we really don't want to accept it.
On September 11, 2011, we remember the 10th anniversary of the day when nearly 3,000 victims were killed after two airliners were crashed into the Twin Towers in New York City, another plane hit the Pentagon and a final plane crashed into a field in rural Pennsylvania. This devastating number of causalities included fire fighters, police officers from NYC, the Port Authority, private emergency medical technicians and many paramedics who came to help.
There is something wonderfully reflective about a new year: it's another chance to get it right. At the beginning of each calendar year I separate my life into five important areas: physical, emotional, professional, familial and spiritual. I analyze honestly how I'm doing in each category - well, of course I do; it's my business! Today let me help you to analyze your life.
Have you ever had an experience where you said, "Wow, what a coincidence." Maybe it was more. Maybe it was a synchronicity. Let me explain through a Jungian perspective. Carl Jung, the prominent Swiss psychiatrist, believed synchronicity meant 'more than a coincidence.' Jung, the thinker and founder of analytical psychology, connected synchronicities to the bigger world: the collective unconscious.
When we have lost someone we love, our job, our health, our marriage, or our deepest relationship, we want to feel some compassion coming our way. We want to know that we are going to make it. Here are some ways for your body, your mind, and your spirit to meet every day with ...
When we have lost someone we love, our job, our health, our marriage, or our deepest relationship, we want to feel some compassion coming our way. We want to know that we are going to make it. Here are some ways for your body, your mind, and your spirit to meet every day with ...
Millions of people have lost their jobs in this economy so let's talk about managing the stress of a job search. Anyone who is in this situation, or loves someone who is, might consider these six suggestions…. Step One - Do not internalize a job loss or job search into your personal identity. Whether you are a new graduate or a semi-retired person whose 401K was cut in half this year, you are not in this situation because of your personal failure. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported in May, 2009 that 7.0 million people have been out of work since December 2007 in the US alone.
Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP Author of When Every Day Matters: A Mother's Memoir on Love, Loss and Life The month of February focuses our attention on love. Cards are bought, candy is given, kisses abound. What is it about love? We simply cannot get enough of it. "I love you" and "I'm ...
My grandmom was a model for positive psychology and she taught me a valuable lesson: it’s easier catching bees with honey than with vinegar. I was given the name “Mary” because of her and her devotion to The Blessed Mother. My mother, father, brother, sister and I lived upstairs in her roomy old Victorian house until she died in 1957. She did not die alone - her ten living children surrounded her bedside praying the rosary. In my Catholic upbringing, Grandmom’s death was referred to as “a happy death” because she was in the state of grace when God took her back.
The famous Swiss psychiatrist, Carl G. Jung, said what we deny, fear or don’t address consciously will visit us as fate. I agree and believe, too, if we don’t manifest our intentions, we will manifest our fears. Many people believe therapy is about resolving a crisis or healing a traumatic ...
It's August, let's talk about your child leaving for college. Yes, I know it brings up many feelings. One minute you're laughing with them at a Blue Light Special, the next minute you're dissolving into tears. The thing about being a parent is that when we finally master one stage of development with our kids, they catapult into the next. Leaving for college is a big transition for a family. For many parents it feels like a little death. In a way it is - death to the original family construct.
When you open yourself to love, you open yourself to loss. When you suffer the loss of someone you love, you experience the painful emotion we call grief because it's a natural response to loss. Yet, to the person going through this afflictive emotion, the experience feels overwhelming because death is a direct blow to our souls.
In my younger days I thought I could control change. I learned, and not quickly I would add, that no one can control or stop change anymore than one can hold back the tides or halt the autumn leaves transforming from green to gold. This brings me to today's topic of change and how to understand it and accept its daily invitation. First, change is inevitable. Think of those individuals you know who, despite painful adversity, have been able to go on even after their world changed and fell down around them. These individuals accept - sometimes hourly - the inescapable reality of change.
In my younger days I was naive enough to think I could control change. I've learned, but not quickly enough, that no one can control or stop change. And, here is an interesting little fact: Charles Darwin believed that those who survive are the people who can adapt to ongoing change. They are not necessarily the most intelligent or even the strongest people, but they are the survivors. That thought of survival brings me to today's topic of change and how to understand it a little better.
Loss of those we love is our most painful reality. In Christopher Buckley's newest book, Losing Mum and Pup, we come to journey with him in the aftermath of both his parents dying within less than 11 months of one another. We come to understand, more deeply, the forever ache of that loss. The ...
It was 1992. Four years had lapsed since my daughter Katie's diagnosis of a brain tumor. She was now healthy and back working in New York City. Because my mate al stress levels were greatly relaxed, my professional dreams began to reemerge. It was time to think about making them come true.
Let's talk about the four seasons of marriage: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Usually we think of marriage as a relationship with our partner but it can also be the state of marriage solely within us called "the inner marriage." The inner marriage is an intimate relationship with ourself. ...
Loyalty is essential for genuine family solidarity. But blind loyalty leads to family dysfunction. A loyal family member is faithful to the family's traditions and honors its obligations. A loyal family member is emotionally present with support and encouragement during success or duress. These unwavering devotions are admirable and observable: just look at how a loyal family member helps another member during an illness, a financial crisis, the breakup of a marriage, death. I admire family loyalty; I believe in it. However, I do not believe in blind family loyalty. Here's why.
Have you ever felt confused when speaking with someone? He or she might be smiling but you were uncomfortable by how they were acting? Well, it might be a passive-aggressive behavior you are experiencing. Passive-aggressive behavior is a manner of interacting with others in passive ways as, ...
Ever wonder about how to choose a therapist? Today I would like to share my thoughts on this important question. I believe a client can feel more understood when the therapist has clinical experience with the situation the client is bringing to therapy. And, if the therapist has the same personal experience, even better. This implies that the client knows what conce is bringing them into a therapist's office. But if the client doesn't know, an intuitive therapist can quickly assess and understand what is causing the pain in the client's life.
For many of us, Mother's Day stirs something deeply loving. For others, ambivalent feelings abide. You see, after thirty-three years in the counseling field and drying the tears off many faces, I can accurately say that not every woman feels she had, was or is the "good-enough mother."
We simply cannot get enough love, especially summer love. Maybe it's because summer love feels friendlier when we are walking to the beach carrying a chair, a favorite book and an iPod to keep our own delicious thoughts company. Seriously, don't your olfactory sensibilities become completely engaged with fresh suntan lotion? The smell of Coppertone and I'm 13 all over again.