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Articles by Michelle Gottlieb

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36 articles by Michelle Gottlieb · showing 36

Browse every published article connected to Michelle Gottlieb, or search within this exact expert archive.

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Ouch! He doesn't like me!

A very common dilemma that many people face is that we want people to like us. We may even do things that we disagree with, just to be sure that people like us. We talk about this happening with children, but, unfortunately, this is usually something that we do not grow out of. Why is it so important that people like us? Well, it feels good! It does not feel good when people do not like us. While there are some people that do seem to thrive on getting people all agitated at them, Simon Cowell comes to mind; most of us are uncomfortable with this.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,606 views3/5 (2)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Assumptions

One of the most common problems I have seen with the couples that I have worked with is their tendency to assume that they know what their partner is thinking and feeling, the assumption that they know their partner’s motivation. I have not worked with a couple yet who has struggled with this ...

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,369 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Blessings

How often do you stop and count your blessings? Once a day? Once a month? Never? We need to be aware of how much we have to be thankful for. Can you stand up every morning without pain? What a blessing! Do you have two legs to stand on? Do you have a roof over your head and food in your refrigerator? Do you have a refrigerator? Look at all of your blessings! Do you have people in your life who love you? Do you appreciate how special that is? I recently met a woman who lost her husband of 25 years very unexpectedly on Christmas Day.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,733 views3.5/5 (6)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Forgiveness

Forgiveness. That can be a very tough concept. When someone has hurt you, should you forgive them? Do you want to forgive them? What happens if you choose not to? What happens to you if you chose to forgive? I have worked with many couple where there has been infidelity. This is a very difficult area. We do not want to forgive when we have been hurt and betrayed. We often want to lash out back at our partner who has so wounded us. The betrayal of the marriage vows is no small injury. The marriage can recover, but it takes a great deal of work.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,713 views3.5/5 (2)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Happy Valentine's?

Happy Valentine’s Day! Valentine’s day has always struck me as an odd day. If you are not involved with someone, you need to hurry up and find someone so that you are not alone that day. If you are with someone, you must show your undying love by sending cards and chocolate. All because society says so. What is so special about February 14th? Who decreed that this is THE day for proclaiming love? If you are in a relationship where you are only shown love once a year, you have bigger issues than a box of chocolate can fix. Unfortunately, that is what happens.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,257 views3/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Amazing

When I go to the gym, I notice all the other people who are in the gym with me. But you might be surprised as to whom I admire most. Naturally, all the hard bodies are pretty to look at. The kids in their twenties are all in wonderful shape. But they are not who I admire. I admire the person ...

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,105 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Success

What makes you a success? Is it the size of your house? The type of car that you drive? Is it the success that your children have? Is it how long you have been married? Is it the amount in your bank account? There are no right or wrong answers. There are answers that society encourages us to choose. In order to be a success, we need to be super thin, very rich and no older than 25. Okay, that is one definition of success. For some people the definition may be the amount of time that they can devote to their spirituality. Or to exercising. Or to eating.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,352 views3/5 (2)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Assumptions

I was interviewed for a new web site where I was asked what is the number one problem in marriages? With little hesitatio I answered, “assumptions!” Because we assume that we know our partners, we assume that we know what they are thinking. Know one thing for sure, if you are assuming, then assume that you are wrong. We do not know what is happening in someone else’s mind. No matter how close we are, we stand an excellent chance of getting it wrong. Let me share some examples. I know this couple that had been dating for a few months.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,297 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Do Something Selfish Today

Why help others? Okay, we know we are supposed to because our culture and religions tell us to. But we aren’t necessarily good at following those rules. So, why help others? It will make the world a better place. But so would driving less, not using so much plastic, etc, etc, etc. We know that but it still doesn’t necessarily make us do any of those activities. So, why should we help others? A very basic, selfish reason is that helping others makes us feel good. Have you ever reached out to someone who needed you? Do you remember how you felt after? We tend to feel happy and fulfilled.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,543 views4/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Therapy?

How do I know if I need to go to therapy? A common question, often answered with “I must be crazy if I have to go to therapy!” So, the first thing I want to say in response is that you do not need to be crazy to be in therapy. In fact, I do not see crazy people in my practice. Crazy people see things that aren’t there and hear people who aren’t there. There is usually a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected with medication.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,842 views5/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Priorities

We are told in our society that we should always put ourselves first. I was told in all of my training, we always need to put ourselves first so that we have energy to then take care of others. Then I became a wife and mother. I discovered that I couldn’t always put myself first. There were many times my kids’ needs came first, or my husband’s did. Occasionally even the dogs’ needs did.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,297 views3/5 (3)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Anxiety

Anxiety is a major issue. Over 40 millio Americans suffer from some form of anxiety. One in four people world-wide will suffer from anxiety at some point in their lives. So, if you are suffering from anxiety, you are not alone! But the good news is that are things that you can do to help yourself feel better, more confident, more relaxed! I always suggest to people that I work with to go to their family doctor and get a full physical. There may be an underlying physical condition. Once that is ruled out, it is time for us to get to work. It is important to breathe.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,374 views4/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

The Value of Doing Nothing

Sometimes the most valuable way you can spend your time is to do nothing. Now, all of you type A’s are jumping up and down and exclaiming that is not possible. Ah, but it is. We tend to spend so much time running around, that we do not realize how stressed we are. The more stressed we are, the less clearly we can think. Also, the more stressed we are, the more damage we are doing to our bodies. When we are stressed the hormone cortisol comes pouring out. Cortisol is designed to help us in “flight or fight” situations.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

3,831 views3.7/5 (3)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Stop Throwing Spears

Sometimes when we are scared, frightened, startled, we react with anger. It is a very natural reaction, probably based back in our cave man times. If something big and scary was approaching us, we had better react with a strong offense or we would get eaten. Unfortunately, that natural reaction that is embedded in our genes is not very useful today. Often times, the things that are startling us are not life or death. We do not need to throw a spear at a charging saber tooth cat.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,483 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Why look at your past?

Why look at the past? I can’t tell you the number of clients who have asked me that question in one form or another. What is the point of looking back? It will just bring me pain, or stir up old feelings of hurt or anger. It won’t help me to poke around in it, or so my clients often insist. Yet I persist in poking around anyway. There are many valuable lessons available in the past, if we only allow ourselves to see them. One of the important lessons is seeing the patterns emerge.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,631 views3/5 (2)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Time to Disconnect

My email is down today. I am angry and frustrated. In a little less than a month, I will be on a vacation. I am excited beyond words that I will not be able to access my email. Wait a minute, how can both be true? I am slightly addicted to email. I check it constantly. It is a way for me to connect with friends, family, colleagues and clients. I want to make sure that I am available for people who need me. I want to be able to connect with those that I care about. I love being able to completely disconnect from everyone.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,458 views2/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

The Teen Brain

Have you ever looked at your teenage as he or she comes rushing into the house, late again and missing their homework/coat/whatever it is you asked them to get and asked them “what were you thinking?” Have you ever asked that same question when you have caught them with their boyfriend or ...

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,148 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Time Passing

I am the mother of a junior high student and a high school senior. Even as I write that sentence, I find it difficult to believe. All parents are amazed at the rapidity of time. Wasn’t it yesterday that I was pregnant with my babies? How can one be talking about college now? This is a ...

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,027 views3/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

The Real You

I am embracing my inner curl. I have always had wavy hair. After having my kids, my hair got curly. I would blow dry my hair every day to make it straight, which would take a very long time; although, I did get a lot of the newspaper read while I was doing it. I finally decided that I no longer ...

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,283 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Chronic Pain Solutions

Chronic pain. If you have been lucky enough to never experience this, you have no idea how wearing it is. Chronic pain can change your personality. It can damage your relationships. It can even make you suicidal. Pain management has improved over the last ten years. The drugs have gotten better. Other treatment options, like biofeedback, have begun to really help. Studies have shown that acupuncture can have a tremendous impact of the pain level. As I have studied chronic pain, I realized that pain ca be stored as emotions. Emotions can be stored as pain.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,343 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Friends

Have you noticed that when you were in school, all of your friends were about your age? When you became part of a couple, most of your friends were also part of a couple? When you became a parent, most of your friends also were parents? We tend to have friends that are at the same stage of life that we are in. We also tend to have friends that are approximately the same level of mental health that we have. A common discussion that I have with the people that I work with is their wondering why they are losing their friends even though they are getting healthier.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,434 views4/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

How to Help

When someone we love is suffering, we want to help. But we do not always know what to do. We are conce ed that they may be offended if we ask to help. But we still want to help! So, what can we do?r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,574 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Time to Praise

When we work hard, it feels wonderful to have someone say, “Good job!” However, there isn’t always someone there. And even if there were, that person may not understand that we accomplished is a big deal to us. So what is the solution? Learn to praise ourselves!r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,271 views2/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Endings and Beginnings

So here June is. The time of graduations and weddings. The time of endings and new beginnings. Endings can make us sad. We will need to say good bye to some people in our lives. We need to say good bye to places that we are used to. Good byes can be exciting because it means that we are starting a new chapter in our lives. For everyone graduating, say good bye to those friends and teachers that have accompanied you thus far. Send your appreciations for all of your experiences. And before you start that new chapter, take a minute to reflect back on where your journey has taken you thus far.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,335 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Confrontations

Have you ever had a situation where you had a person in your life, a co-worker, a friend, a partner, with whom you were having an issue but were choosing not to confront that person? Many people have issues with confrontations. They are scary. You are not sure what will happen. Or if it will even help! But one thing I can promise you, the situation will not improve if you do not share that there is an issue that needs to worked on!r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,408 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Friends Change

Remember you closest friends in high school? The people that you were closest to and knew that you always would be? How many of them are still in your life on a regular basis? Do you ever wonder how it is possible to go from being so close to no friendship at all?r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,379 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

It's Not Easy

There are many stages we pass through in our lives. First, we are children, then young adults. We then get to work at marriage and parenting. Before we are done with the parenting stage, often we are thrust into the next stage: being part of the sandwich generation.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,553 views3/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Stress Busters

Our children are under a great deal of stress. Some would say more than when we were kids; some would say less. I say that is not the point. The point is that they are under stress. It is our job as parents to teach them how to cope with stress because they will be experiencing stress for the rest of their lives.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,200 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Happy Valentine's?

Valentine’s is such a special day. It is a day that we are forced, um, no, coerced. No, that isn’t it either. Encouraged to show our love! Yes, Valentine’s Day is a holiday that has been mass marketed to such a degree that we feel that we have no choice but to show our love how special they are to us by spending boatloads of money. If we do not have a significant other, than it is mandatory to find someone, anyone, to share the evening with.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,133 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Parenting Difficulties

Many stages of parenting are hard. Adjusting when the baby first arrives is a major change. It can take a year and a half to fully integrate all the changes that a baby brings to the family. Then you have moved on to the toddler years. Having a two or three year old around the house has many difficulties which parents everywhere will attest to. As you move to school age, things calm down for a bit but you have to help them with school work and how to go to school. There may be peer issues that arise. Then puberty raises its ugly head. Life gets very difficult.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,370 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Confrontations Don't Need to be Scary

Have you ever had a situation where you disagreed with someone and struggled with how to approach them? It can be very difficult. You can be stuck with trying to figure out what to say, what to do, how to act. Some people deal with it by not dealing with it at all, but by disappearing. Some people deal with it by becoming aggressive and trying to dominate the entire situation. I am going to suggest that there may be a better option.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,558 views2/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Happy New Year's!

So, a new year is here. What will this year bring me? I know that I can count on laughing a lot this year. I also know that I can count on shedding tears. I know that I will experience joy. But I will also experience despair. There will be big frustrations and big achievements. I know all of this because this is what happens every year to all of us. We never get happiness alone. If we did, we would not appreciate it. We need to have sadness to realize how special happiness is.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,349 views5/5 (1)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Wounds

Words hurt. Words can cause a wound. A deep wound. That wound can cause a scar. A scar that can cause difficulty in life from that point on. Sometimes when we fight, we throw out hurtful words. Words that we do not actually mean but in the heat of the moment, we use to hurt someone. And that hurt is profound because we do not forget those words and the wound deepens.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,237 views

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

Hug Your Kid Today

Yesterday my son was riding his bike home from school. A car accident happened right in front of him. One car got out of control and almost hit him. This morning I heard on the news about a 16 year old boy who was running after school for cross country. He was hit by a car and killed. Obviously both these events impacted me. The former a great deal; the latter more so because of the incident with my son.

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,245 views1.7/5 (3)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

A Crystal Ball for Parents

Have you ever thought about what magical talent or tool that you would want? Do you want a magic wand? The ability to fly? I know what many parents have wished for: a crystal ball! I cannot tell you the number of parents that have struggled over a decision about their children, hoping that they are making the best choice. If only we could see what future each choice will bring, which is the best choice for our child.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

1,336 views2/5 (3)

By Michelle GottliebRecently published1 topic

What Does Food Mean to You?

Food can be many things to many people. Obviously we all need it to survive. But, also obviously, we eat for a lot of different reasons. We eat when we are being social. We eat when we are bored. We eat to stuff our emotions. We eat when we do not know what else to do. I get this wonderful magazine all about healthy eating. When I sit down and read it, I always have munchies with me. If I see food, I want food.r

Primary topic: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

6,093 views4/5 (1)

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