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Articles by Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.

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24 articles by Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D. · showing 24

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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Aug 2, 20101 topic

Are You Fully Present in Your Marriage?

"Presence is more than just being there," states Malcolm S.Forbes. How true! Have you ever been talking with someone and felt that they were miles away even though they were sitting next to you? They might have appeared to be listening, but you could sense that they weren’t really mentally and emotionally present in the conversation. We all have moments when our mind wanders and we lose focus, but if this happens frequently, our relationships with others will be negatively

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

Why Always Having to Be Right Can Poison Your Relationships

When someone feels that he or she always has to be right, you can bet that there’s trouble ahead in the relationship arena. It doesn’t take a fortune teller with a crystal ball to predict the future when a person is determined to win every argument or disagreement at any cost.nnAlways having to be right is damaging to relationships because it interferes with healthy communication, shared decision-making, and trust. nnIt is destructive to the self-esteem and self-confidenc

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

Why Retaliation Affairs Only Make Things Worse

It’s not unusual for a partner whose mate has had an affair to have a “get even” or “retaliation affair.” The feelings of betrayal and the emotional pain are so devastating that the partner may want to hurt the mate like he (or she) has been hurt.nnIn some cases, the affair is planned out in advance as a deliberate way to get even and cause pain to the mate. In other cases, the betrayed partner confides in a sympathetic friend or co-worker and ends up becoming emoti

Primary topic: Overcoming Adultery and Infidelity
Overcoming Adultery and Infidelity
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

Ten Ways to Add Sizzle in the Bedroom

Have you ever wondered what it would take to improve the sex life in your relationship? If so, you’re not alone.nnToo often, couples watch the quality of their bedroom intimacy deteriorate after initially having a satisfying sex life. And equally troubling, they don’t have a clue what to do about it.nnOne thing’s for sure—sizzling sex in the bedroom doesn’t just happen on its own after the initial excitement has started to wear off! Ironically, it takes an understan

Primary topic: Passion
Passion
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

How to Cope with a Critical Partner

Do any of these statements describe your feelings?nn___ You often feel that your partner criticizes you unfairly.nn___ You feel that your partner consistently looks for nit-picking things to criticize.n n____You feel that your partner routinely criticizes you for things that have been blown out of proportion or are beyond your control. nnIf you answer “yes” to at least one of these statements, you may be living with a partner who finds it easier to find fault than to prai

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 25, 20081 topic

How to Keep Jealousy from Destroying Your Relationship

Jealousy has often been called the “green-eyed monster,” and with good reason. The “monster” is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship.nnAccording to B.C. Forbes, “Jealousy…is a mental cancer.” It spreads quickly and can be fatal to a relationship. Once it gets a foothold, the jealous partner becomes even more jealous, often over insignificant things.n nWhen we’re jealous, we’re in a state of dissatisfaction with ours

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 21, 20081 topic

Are You Letting the Economy Set the Mood for Your Marriage?

If you and your spouse are struggling with marriage problems right now, you have an even greater challenge than usual--and that is to stay focused and committed in spite of the current economic crisis and dire predictions. nnIt’s difficult to stay proactive and positive when you’re surrounded by such fear and negativity, but it’s important not to let the gloomy financial news and forecasts set the mood for your marriage or determine the outcome.n nIf you get disheartene

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 20, 20081 topic

What Can You Do About Control Issues in Your Relationship?

It’s so much easier to blame your partner than to look at yourself—and this is especially true when relationship control issues are involved.nnIf you’re the more controlling partner, it’s tempting to blame your passive mate for waiting so long to speak up about her (or his) distress over the situation. If you’re the more passive partner, it’s tempting to blame your controlling partner for not respecting your feelings or insisting that you always do things his(or h

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 20, 20081 topic

Improve Your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself First

It’s important for you to take care of yourself before you try to fix your relationship. The old saying ‘You can’t give away what you don’t have” applies here. Until you are peaceful and happy, you won’t have a peaceful, happy relationship.nnIf you skip these steps and jump immediately into the murky waters of your troubled relationship, you are at high risk for going under. That’s why it’s so important to do all you can to stabilize yourself before you get in

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Jun 22, 20081 topic

Ten Secrets To Improved Communication With Your Partner

When I asked several hundred people recently to name the biggest challenge in their relationship, the number one complaint was “poor communication with my partner.”nnAnd in my many years of helping couples stay connected, I’ve seen that poor communication has been a leading cause for couples to break up.nnWhy, you ask?nnWithout good communication, you can’t have a satisfying relationship. When communication is blocked or non-existent, a relationship can’t thrive. So

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 19, 20081 topic

Is Your Mate’s Passive-Aggressive Behavior Driving You Crazy?

Kayla’s husband Jon is an expert at getting out of things he doesn’t want to do. He “forgets” to stop by the store on the way home from work when he doesn’t want to be bothered. If he doesn’t want to help Kayla with the house cleaning, he does such a poor job that she ends up redoing his part.nnOutwardly, Jon is agreeable and compliant. When Kayla asks him to do something, he’ll generally say “okay” or nod in agreement. Kayla has been let down so many times

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 19, 20081 topic

Can A Marital Separation Ever Save A Marriage?

As an experienced counselor, one of the questions I’m asked frequently is, “Can a marital separation ever save a marriage?” My answer is a qualified “yes.”nnSometimes a couple is miserable living together and can’t seem to co-exist without having constant harping and bickering. If they have children, they may worry about the impact on them of all the fighting. Each spouse wants the marriage to work and is willing to work on the problems and issues in marriage coun

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 15, 20081 topic

How To Reduce Hurt Feelings When You And Your Partner Disagree

One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how to reduce the hurt feelings that can result from arguments and disagreements. The fall-out from a no-holds barred “kill your opponent” verbal altercation can last for decades.nnI have worked with numerous couples in counseling who have struggled with forgiving each other for damaging words they have said during a fight. Many times, the fallout from an argument or shouting match is left to accumulate like toxic dust o

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 15, 20081 topic

Marriage Advice: Eight Steps To Marital Harmony

The formula for marital harmony and success is not a mysterious secret. It’s actually very straightforward.nnThe “behind the scenes” part is the constant work that’s required to keep the channels of love and communication clear from obstruction. Diligent spouses consistently spend time and energy addressing issues as they come up so that anger and hurt feelings don’t accumulate.nnSpouses who want satisfying marriages also look for ways to keep their love strong, suc

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 14, 20081 topic

10 Danger Signals To Watch For In Your Marriage

Healthy marriages require time, attention, energy, and vigilance. It’s not realistic to think that you can have a super marriage without effort on your part. nnIt pays to be observant, to ask questions when you don’t understand something, and to notice changes in behavior, tone of voice, and attitude. Communication experts have found that only seven percent of our communication is verbal, while the other ninety-three percent depends on body language and tone of vo

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,745 views
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 12, 20081 topic

Fifteen Ways To Say “I Love You” In 3 Minutes Or Less

To keep romance alive and nurture the intimacy in your relationship, you’ll want to know a number of ways to express your feelings to your partner. There are certainly times when you’ll want to put a significant amount of time and energy into a project that shows your love for your partner in a major way, such as planning a surprise birthday dinner party that includes family and friends or a new deck that you spend several weekends building.nnBut it’s also important for

Primary topic: Love
Love
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 12, 20081 topic

10 Valentine's Day Tips For Spouses Who Want To Improve Their Marriage

The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. While many spouses focus on Valentine’s Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time and energy can give one of the most precious gifts possible—an improved, satisfying marriage.nnLong after the romantic card is tucked away and the box of candy is empty, this marriage-enriching gift will still be appreciated and enjoyed. Follow these ten steps to give yourself and your spouse a

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Apr 23, 20071 topic

Listen to What You’re Really Saying

Have you ever really listened to yourself thoughtfully, and analyzed the deeper meanings and implications of what you were saying?nnDoing this can be a sobering experience. Recently, after something really positive had happened unexpectedly, I said to my husband Lee, “I don’t believe it!”nnImmediately, I realized what I had done and exclaimed, “I take that statement back!! I do believe good things can happen! I do believe it!” In the flash of a moment, I suddenly un

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 7, 20071 topic

Why Always Having to Be Right Can Poison Your Relationships

When someone feels that he or she always has to be right, you can bet that there’s trouble ahead in the relationship arena. It doesn’t take a fortune teller with a crystal ball to predict the future when a person is determined to win every argument or disagreement at any cost.nnAlways having to be right is damaging to relationships because it interferes with healthy communication, shared decision-making, and trust. It is destructive to the self-esteem and self-confidence

Primary topic: Love
Love
16,229 views5/5 (1)
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Dec 12, 20061 topic

Why Retaliation Affairs Only Make Things Worse

It’s not unusual for a partner whose mate has had an affair to have a “get even” or “retaliation affair.” The feelings of betrayal and the emotional pain are so devastating that the partner may want to hurt the mate like he (or she) has been hurt.nnIn some cases, the affair is planned out in advance as a deliberate way to get even and cause pain to the mate. In other cases, the betrayed partner confides in a sympathetic friend or co-worker and ends up becoming emoti

Primary topic: Love
Love
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Nov 6, 20061 topic

How to Cope with a Critical Partner

Do any of these statements describe your feelings?nn___ You often feel that your partner criticizes you unfairly.nn___ You feel that your partner consistently looks for nit-picking things to criticize. nn____You feel that your partner routinely criticizes you for things that have been blown out of proportion or are beyond your control. nnIf you answer “yes” to at least one of these statements, you may be living with a partner who finds it easier to find fault than to prai

Primary topic: Love
Love
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Oct 9, 20061 topic

How to Keep Jealousy from Destroying Your Relationship

Jealousy has often been called the “green-eyed monster,” and with good reason. The “monster” is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship.nnAccording to B.C. Forbes, “Jealousy…is a mental cancer.” It spreads quickly and can be fatal to a relationship. Once it gets a foothold, the jealous partner becomes even more jealous, often over insignificant things. nnWhen we’re jealous, we’re in a state of dissatisfaction with ours

Primary topic: Love
Love
11,447 views4/5 (1)
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Sep 25, 20061 topic

What Can You Do About Control Issues in Your Relationship?

It’s so much easier to blame your partner than to look at yourself—and this is especially true when relationship control issues are involved.nnIf you’re the more controlling partner, it’s tempting to blame your passive mate for waiting so long to speak up about her (or his) distress over the situation. If you’re the more passive partner, it’s tempting to blame your controlling partner for not respecting your feelings or insisting that you always do things his (or

Primary topic: Love
Love
13,281 views4/5 (1)
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By Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.Feb 1, 20051 topic

Improve Your Relationship By Taking Care of Yourself First

It’s important for you to take care of yourself before you try to fix your relationship. The old saying ‘You can’t give away what you don’t have” applies here. Until you are peaceful and happy, you won’t have a peaceful, happy relationship.nnIf you skip these steps and jump immediately into the murky waters of your troubled relationship, you are at high risk for going under. That’s why it’s so important to do all you can to stabilize yourself before you get in

Primary topic: Love
Love
8,975 views
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