Articles

Articles by nancy travers

Browse every published article connected to nancy travers, with exact attribution and full-archive search.

articles: 136
shown per page: 50
search signals: Topic + expert

Articles

136 articles by nancy travers · showing 36

Browse every published article connected to nancy travers, or search within this exact expert archive.

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

When Is It Okay to Lie?

“A truth that’s told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent.” – William Blake In recent articles I’ve talked about the importance of honest communication in good relationships. It’s essential that our partners understand us, know how we feel, how we might react to certain situations. We share our most intimate thoughts with our partners because we feel a fundamental need to have someone close to us who gets us—in all our complexities. Who loves us for who we really are. Or maybe despite who we are.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

989 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

He Said, She Said: Apologies

Why is it so hard for some men to utter those healing words, “I’m sorry”? And why is it so important to a woman to hear them? It seems men and women look at apologies from different perspectives. Some women, when they apologize, feel really good that they’ve made a positive effort to mend the relationship. Especially if they’re afraid they’ve hurt someone’s feelings. They say they’re sorry to repair the damage. When they do, they have a sense of satisfaction that they’ve made the effort to make the relationship right again.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,203 views3/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Good Listening Is the Greatest Gift

What is the greatest gift you can give your partner? What is the greatest gift that costs you nothing but time and effort? That’s the gift of understanding who she is. The gift of believing in her. Think about it. When your partner knows you “get” her, you are validating her existence to the core of her being. You are giving her the sure knowledge that she is understood and loved regardless. It’s a powerful feeling. And how can you bestow such a gift? By becoming a great listener. It is the key to understanding your partner and fully developing an intimate relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,162 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Tactics Emotional Manipulators Use to Hurt You

Last week I talked about how Emotional Manipulators (EM’s) make you doubt yourself, make you feel confused, and even a little crazy yourself. The result is you depend a little more on the EM and that is the whole point. Emotional Manipulators use all sorts of tactics to control you. To dominate you. So they can be and do whatever they want. The trouble is, when they succeed, they diminish you to the point where you are no longer the strong, vibrant person you once were. It’s an insidious process that can leave you devastated.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,234 views3/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

5 Reasons You’re Not Having Sex

There are all sorts of reasons couples’ sex lives have stalled. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of identifying where you got off track so you can make adjustments to resume a satisfying sex life. But in the end, there is really one main reason couples don’t have sex: It’s not enjoyable. The reward they get from having sex is not enough to justify going to the trouble.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,088 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

What You Never Knew Before About Love

What’s your idea of love? Is it when you want the best for someone else? When you give up putting your own self first to focus on another’s feelings, desires, needs? When you give your whole self—heart, mind and soul—to another? Scientists have made great progress in understanding love through researching the brain. A few facts emerged: - Romantic love is universal in humans. - You can feel as ardently in love at 80 as 18. - If you’re in love you’re as driven as an addict.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

974 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Disagree without Being Disagreeable

A friend’s husband told her early in their relationship that there was no need to fight. He said, “Everyone tells you to learn to fight fair. But I say, we don’t fight at all.” Always a coward in the face of conflict, she thought that was great. And they don’t fight, meaning they don’t throw things, dredge up old hurts from the past, or raise their voices to ear-splitting decibels. But they do fight, meaning they disagree. It would be tough to exist as an individual entity without feeling differently from your spouse every once and awhile.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,119 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Taking Care of the Elderly and Taking Care of Yourself

Taking care of the elderly is becoming a reality for more and more people. Often frustration is an integral part of that task, especially if the elderly person is afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia. The question is, how do you deal with a certain amount of inevitable frustration and maintain your equilibrium while giving your loved one the care he or she needs?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

965 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How Come We Never Have Sex?

There’s a great scene in a Woody Allen movie where a couple is seeing a counselor. Simultaneously the male complains that the couple never has sex while the female complains they have constant sex. The reason the scene is funny is because it contains a bit of truth to it. Few couples are perfectly in sync when it comes to libido. That imbalance of sexual drive may exacerbate the problem and cause even greater periods of sexual inactivity. How? Masturbation and Pornography

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,111 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Holiday High Anxiety—Times Two

People suffering from anxiety are often proponents of Murphy’s Law—anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Around the holidays, when we are so busy with many more tasks than usual, there is more potential for something to go wrong. And for couples, one or both of whom may be anxious, that goes double.r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

939 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Keep Those Resolutions with Your Partner

When you make New Year’s resolutions, do you feel defeated before you start? Many people don’t even bother to articulate resolutions since so many often fail. But if you make resolutions with your partner, you can support each other, and your chances of success improve significantly.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

722 views4/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Stress Test: 5 Ways to Make It Through the Holidays

Many people I know don’t find joy in the holidays. Too much stress and work. The chores of cooking, shopping and cleaning are often multiplied during the holidays, leaving you feeling put-upon and resentful. One year a friend had a tree trimming dinner party, and she wouldn’t give her guests dessert until they hung ornaments on the tree. Not exactly behavior in the spirit of Christmas.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,903 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Listen Up (2013), Part 2

Couples who learn to actively, mindfully listen to one another have a better chance of having a deep, intimate relationship. It makes sense: When you listen well enough to understand your partner’s point of view, you understand him or her better, and the bond between you strengthens. So how do you become a masterful listener?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,214 views4.5/5 (2)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Alcoholism

The most severe form of problem drinking is alcoholism. This goes beyond alcohol abuse—alcoholics physically depend on alcohol to function. Without it, your body responds with withdrawal symptoms like the shakes, depression, nausea, irritability, sweating, anxiety. These are serious danger signs indicating you need help. The Problem

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,089 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Borderline Personality Disorder: What Does It Mean?

What does it mean to have a borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Basically a person with this condition has unstable or turbulent emotions that can sometimes make them act on impulse and encounter trouble in their relationships. So what else is new? Don’t we all have a certain amount of instability in our lives? Don’t we all get emotional at times? But if you have this disorder, the issues are severe and you have long-term patterns of disruption such as: Mood swings and intense emotionsr

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,703 views5/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Sexpectations 2012

Are you stuck in unrealistic sexpectations? Or ready to create a new language of love? Is your marriage or relationship bogged down in unrealistic sexpectations? Do your attitudes about your body, frequency of intercourse, sexual preferences, and assumptions about orgasm create distance and frustration in the physical relationship with your partner? If so, are you ready to ditch the expectations and create a new language of love that only you and your partner speak? Here are some thoughts that can help you shed some of the unnecessary expectations you may have developed.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

985 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

How Can Counseling Help Gays and Lesbians?

Addressing the needs of the gay and lesbian communities starts with a healthy perspective In certain sectors of our society, being gay or lesbian is seen as unnatural, a disorder, or an aberration—to be diagnosed, accepted as wrong, and cured. Unfortunately, even a small minority of mental health professionals become involved from this perspective. My practice is not one of those places.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,327 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Question for Men: How Do You Handle Stress?

Women support each other under stress. How can men handle it more effectively?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

974 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Experiencing Anxiety and Don’t Know Why? Check the Calendar.

Annually recurring anxiety: you may have it and not know it. Anxiety disorders can be times of extended difficulty for those who suffer from them. Tension, worry, inability to concentrate, mono-focus on a particular thought or person, avoidance of a particular situation or person, irritable outbursts, and feelings of detachment from others are all common symptoms. So are physical symptoms, such as rising blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, sweating, dizziness, loss of or appetite, nightmares, and sleep disturbance.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

968 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

When Is Make-Up Sex a Good Thing?

If you’re relying on make-up sex too often, your relationship may need help Make-up sex is famous for being unbridled and highly pleasurable. And that can be memorable, especially if the overall sex life of a couple has been routine, humdrum, or just plain bad most of the time. In a good marriage or relationship, make-up sex can be a high point. But is it a good idea to suffer through a bad marriage just for those few peak moments? I say no. There are many reasons make-up sex is so delicious, including:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,993 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Do You Give TMI on First Dates?

Too much information can put you at risk—or make a bad impression Are you providing detailed, personal, even intimate information on every topic that comes up on your first dates with a new person? If so, you might be sending the wrong signals. Some people will feel uncomfortable hearing these details and wonder why you feel compelled to offer them to a person who is still essentially a stranger. And you could put yourself at risk by offering information that could lead to nuisance or even more uncomfortable behavior from the other party when the dating process does not go well.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,092 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Is Your Fantasy Love Turning Your Lovemaking Into a Threesome?

The occasional fantasy can mean a healthy sex drive, but what if it’s a habit?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,633 views3/5 (1)

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Parenting the Creative Child: The Ten “Commendments”

To nurture your child’s creative talent: commend, don’t command At some point in the early life of your new child, she or he surprises you. She listens intently to the story you’re reading, then adds her own imaginative ending. Or he not only colors out of the lines, but also draws in extra figures, using eye-catching colors. Or she hears a song in the morning, and you find her singing it in the playroom in the afte oon, embellishing it with her own lyrics and dance moves.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

984 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Are You Stuck in Mou ing That Began in Childhood?

The difference between natural mou ing and melancholia could be life-long Call it what you like—chronic mou ing, extended grieving, death-related depression, melancholia—the effects are the same. A person becomes stuck in the past, devastated by the death of a parent, child, spouse, or sibling, and finds it impossible to move on in life, to work, to develop healthy attachments to others, to walk though life with self esteem and optimism. This often occurs at an early age, but can also affect adults, especially with the death of a child or spouse.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

950 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

The Anxiety–Overeating–Depression Cycle

You’re anxious, you stress-eat, depression sets in. How do you break the cycle? Eating is one of the toughest addictions. We all have to eat, so it’s not possible to avoid being around food. But some of us have a hard time controlling our input, and we give our bodies what they seem to want, rather than what they need.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,593 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

The Silent Treatment in Relationships

Do one or both of you retreat too often into the cone of silence? In an article earlier this year, I spoke about the devastating effects of verbal abuse. A retreat into a “cone of silence” by one or both partners in a marriage or relationship can potentially be just as devastating. Sure, some people are simply quieter, less communicative, or more contemplative than others.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,458 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Marriage’s Underwater Mines: ADD

In some marriages, a dark cloud hangs over the home, going by many different names: bills unpaid, appointments missed, chores ignored or unfinished, kids not picked up, calls not made—maybe poor job performance to boot.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,773 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

All the Wrong Ones: Re-Evaluate How You Choose a Partner

When you think about finding a partner, you probably have the perfect prospect in mind. When imagining the perfect mate, most people immediately think of physical characteristics. Many people supplement this idea immediately be adding personality traits such as humor, intelligence and charm. If you are choosing partners based on these aspects, there are many theoretical partners. These ideal characteristics are important to finding a person who makes you happy, but there are other, very important aspects of a potential partner to consider:r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,111 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Gain Confidence to Improve Your Relationship and Rekindle Your Passion

Confidence is an important factor in our lives. We naturally want to surround ourselves with confident people. We want doctors who are confident in their medical knowledge. We want colleagues who are confident in their ability to complete projects. We want friends who are confident in themselves, and in their relationships. We even want to be confident in ourselves.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

883 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Relationships, Boundaries, and Facebook

Social networks have injected an interesting new aspect into our lives and relationships. Today, we’re all living very publically. We’re our own paparazzi and gossip magazine, updating the web with every little thought, piece of drama, and embarrassing picture of friends. Our boundaries are very quickly fading away with each status update, wall post, and friend request.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,763 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Speak Out: How to Ensure Your Needs Are Being Met in a Relationship

When we enter relationships, we do so with the knowledge that we will be providing the person with emotional commodities and that they will be doing the same for us. Every relationship is filled with needs. Each individual will have different needs, and each relationship will provide different solutions for meeting them.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,123 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Whose Home for the Holidays? Simple Ways to Avoid Seasonal Conflicts with Your Partner

Holidays are supposed to be a happy time, filled with food, family and fun. It’s a time of holiday music echoing through the shopping centers, spending long nights indoors with loved ones, and generally being thankful for every blessing that we’ve encountered in the last year. This season is meant to be the most wonderful time of the year, yet more than 80 percent of us admit that the holiday season is at least somewhat, if not very, stressful! The effort to create the perfect holiday gets to many of us, and the resulting anxiety can wreak havoc on our health and our relationships.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

755 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

The Chemistry of Love

We’ve all heard our friends talk about chemistry and connections. Rock stars sing about the “chemicals between us” and movies depict racing hearts, sweaty palms, and love at first sight. Have you wondered where all of these scientific, chemical, and physiological terms and ideas manifest in relation to love and attraction? It might surprise you to know just how much of your relationship is invested in hormones. Why do we even have “Chemistry” with other people?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,128 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Ending a Relationship After Infidelity

Infidelity is an unfortunate occurrence that strikes too many modern relationships. Cheating in any relationship can be devastating for both partners; both the person committing the infidelity and the person betrayed can be strongly affected by the after-effects of breaking the relationship’s trust. Once infidelity occurs, it is up to both partners to decide whether or not to continue in the relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,579 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

Conflicts with Your Significant Other: How to Fight Fair

Even the healthiest relationships will experience rough patches. No two people will always agree, and eventually these disagreements will need to be handled. Conflicts and arguments are not the signs of a bad marriage or partnership. However, how you and your partner handle an argument can be the key to a lasting, loving relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,484 views

By nancy traversRecently published1 topic

12 ‘Don’ts’ for Fighting Fair

Conflict is tough for most people. We don’t like it. It threatens us and makes us feel bad. Makes us feel defensive. But we can feel a whole lot better about fighting if we have rules to guide us.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,588 views

Back to top ↑