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Articles by Nicola Beer

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By Nicola BeerRecently publishedTopic pending

Porn Addiction, What To Do If It Is Affecting You and Your Relationship

This is a topic no-one talks or writes about yet it is really common and the number is rising. Why? Well for one is has become accessible to almost everyone. If you think about it nearly everyone has a mobile phone and most people have a lap top or tablet on top. Statistics show our addiction to check our phone and fill any time gaps by searching online is increasing. For these reasons sadly addiction to pornography is rising. So in this article, I want to address What is porn addiction? What are the signs of porn addiction? How can porn addiction affect a relationship

Primary topic: Recently published
Recently published
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

My Husband / Wife Won’t Go To Marriage Counselling… What Do I Do?

“Nicola, My husband won’t go to marriage counselling, I’m desperately unhappy what shall I do?” “My wife refuses to speak to anyone, she says we are beyond help, it’s too late. Shall I give up?” These are statements I hear time and time again, and to be honest I don’t blame a husband or wife if they don’t believe in traditional relationship counselling. Statistics report that 75% of people who see marriage counsellors are worse off or divorced after! An alarming statistic isn’t it.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

5 Steps to Overcome Divorce & Separation Anxiety

Fear of an uncertain future can stop us from doing great things, and it can keep us holding onto things and habits that are hurting us. Today I will share 5 steps to deal with separation and divorce anxiety. I think it is fair to say, that the majority of us from time to time wonder what the future will be like. Whether we will be happy, have enough money and be healthy etc. But when you are contemplating, going through or coming out of divorce anxiety over the future can be overwhelming and unbearable at times.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
2,564 views5/5 (1)
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

7 Steps to Keep Your Hobbies and Marriage Intact - Save Your Marriage

Ian and Kim were a couple who came for marriage counseling, as they were constantly fighting over Kim's love of fashion and the financial cost of her shopping sprees, her husband Ian couldn't keep up with it and thought that there were far more important things to be spending money on. Kim felt hurt that Ian didn't try to understand her passion and angry as he spent plenty of money out socializing and drinking. They came to save their marriage, as after years of not understanding each other's interests they had grown so far apart, they were living separate lives under the same roof.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How to Heal From An Affair – Surviving Infidelity

Nothing is more painful and crushing than finding out the partner you promised to have and hold forever has cheated and lied to you. It can ton feel like your whole world has come crashing down like a ton of bricks. Feelings of anger, fear and hurt can flood your system. Along with the shattering news are shattered dreams, hopes, and expectations you had for your relationship and the future. It’s natural to feel lost, numb and change your mind or consistently questioning yourself about what you want next.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Rebuilding After Affairs

Since working with individuals over the years to heal from infidelity and marriages with multiple wives, I have learnt what successful re-builders do compared to those unsuccessful in repairing their relationships after affairs. Whilst there is no denying that affairs can destroy love, relationships and self-confidence, they don’t have to. As long as the betrayer follows some crucial steps to help their spouse heal and together the couple look at ways to improve and strengthen their marriage.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,845 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Is Resentment Harming Your Relationship? FREE Gift to Release It Now

Warning: This Gift Might Be The Best Relationship Gift You'll Ever Get Whether you are married, dating or divorced resentment will affect you and your relationship current or future if you do not release it. What is Resentment? Resentment is a sense of unfai ess - that you are not getting enough attention, consideration, affection, reward or appreciation that you deserve for aspects of your life and relationship.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Rebuilding After Affairs

Since working with individuals over the years to heal from infidelity and marriages with multiple wives, I have learnt what successful re-builders do compared to those unsuccessful in repairing their relationships after affairs. Whilst there is no denying that affairs can destroy love, relationships and self-confidence, they don’t have to. As long as the betrayer follows some crucial steps to help their spouse heal and together the couple look at ways to improve and strengthen their marriage.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

7 Ways To Stop Work Stress From Ruining Your Marriage - Marriage Counseling Advice

There is no doubt that work stress has become an increasing factor in marital dissatisfaction. Today couples work on average a thousand more hours each year than people did thirty years ago. This number tends to increase further in expat cities, as well as if you are an entrepreneur. All the extra work means that there is less time for talking, relaxing, eating and even sleeping. It is all too easy for stress to get the better of us and either withdraw or argue. The STRESS Cycle

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Did I Marry the Wrong Person? Marriage Problems & Marriage Advice

When people get to the stage of seeking help for the dissatisfaction or conflict in their marriage, they often wonder “Did I marry the wrong person?” or “Did I marry right or well?” These are common thoughts many share with me that they struggle with. So, how do you know if you have? Is there such a thing as ‘the one’ or the ‘right’ person?

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How to Restore Respect in a Relationship – Overcome Marriage Problems

Lack of respect is one of the key reasons many couples get divorced. It is one of the major marriage problem signs. It destroys love, connection and intimacy. Many individuals and couples that join my online save my marriage program, share that respect has been missing or lost in their relationship. So I wanted to address what respect is in a loving relationship and how you can restore respect if it is missing.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Do You Have A Shared Meaning For Your Marriage? Happy Marriages Do!

“Marriage isn’t just about raising kids, splitting chores, and making love. It can also have a spiritual dimension that has to do with creating an inner life together — a culture rich with rituals, and an appreciation for your roles and goals that link you..." according to Gottmans 40 years of research, working with thousands of couples. He claims having a share meaning is what makes for a happy, fulfilling and lasting marriage and it is his seventh principle in his book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" that has sold over a million copies worldwide.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How to Stop Defensive Behavior & Save Your Marriage

When we feel that we have been wrongly accused of something a common reaction is to put up our defences so our partner will back down. But all this succeeds to achieve is to make our husband/wife feel that we are not taking them seriously. Where the real underlying issues in a marriage don’t ever get resolved. Defensiveness is a way of avoiding the issues that were raised and can often lead to 2 problems rather than the one that started it. When I discuss with couples how to save your marriage, I highlight these three common forms of defensiveness Victim Retaliation

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

3 Steps To Handling Divorce Threats or “I’m Not “In Love” With You”

Most people are aware now of the 40-50% average divorce rate in the west and expat communities. Knowing this doesn’t make that any easier if you are living in an unhappy marriage where divorce threats have been made. The good news is an unhappy relationship doesn’t mean it’s over. That’s because it really only does take one person to save a marriage. This is something I have witnessed now way over a 100 times and get emails in from 1000’s that join my empowered love program or download my free audios and e-books. How can this be? How can one person save a marriage and stop divorce?

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

If You Think an Ultimatum is Your Only Option… Think Again! Marriage Advice

Are you sick and tired of your spouse’s behaviour? Do you have no more to give? Are you at the end of your tether? Do you think an ultimatum is your only way out? We hear people giving ultimatums every day. “If you don’t stop doing X then Y will be the consequence.” However, more often than not these ultimatums are being issued by a parent to a child. This is a relationship where power and responsibility lie with the parent. It is the parent’s job to ensure that a child grows up knowing what is right and wrong, setting boundaries to ensure safety.r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,637 views4.5/5 (2)
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Divorced Parents - What Do You Do When Your Child Doesnt Want to See You or Your Ex?

Let’s face it co-parenting after divorce isn’t easy. Many children of divorce go through a roller-coaster of emotions like their parents do when the family splits. Children may isolate. Have angry outbursts. Refuse to eat. Cry. Say horrible things. Throw tantrums. But what do you do if they refuse to see you or your ex-spouse? It’s a delicate and difficult situation for all involved and one that needs to be handled carefully.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

HOLIDAY GIFT – Create A New Beginning

With Christmas & New Year ahead of us with all the rejoicing it is the time to let go of all old unnecessary strings to find peace, serenity and start the new year fresh and make it a great success. It can bring up a lot of pain and stress this time of year. So I have a very special gift… If you or someone close to you have any turbulences in life that you wish to clear, or possibly like to talk it through, I am opening 4 days of free appointments.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How to get over a cheating husband/wife and save the marriage

Anne (name changed) emailed me after she discovered her husband had been having an affair. She was deeply hurt and angry at his betrayal. But she didn’t want to leave him and break up the family. They have two beautiful girls who dote on them both, plus the fact that deep down she still loved him. She discovered her husband was having an affair when she checked his phone at a friends BBQ. He had left his phone on the side, she picked it up and looked through his messages curious to what conversations he was having with his mates.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How to Change the 5 Negative Thought Patterns that Lead to Divorce... and Transform Your Marriage

After the honeymoon period in a relationship is over, and our partner raises complaints about us, or does things we don't agree with or is somehow absent, we often start to make or draw slightly negative conclusions about them or the relationship. Typically it starts off as a thought one day, but if their actions continue to match it, we can start to think that way about the relationship or them. Negative thinking doesn't only affect you, it can kill connection, communication and passion, if the thought patterns become habitual.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How long does it take to heal after an affair? The stages of healing after an affair – By Nicola Beer

Having worked with 100’s of couples now looking to repair the relationship or heal themselves after an affair, most want to know how long does it take to heal and what are the stages of healing after an affair. Like when dealing with a significant loss, loss of a loved one, financial loss or health loss there is no set time period for the healing process after an affair. We all deal with loss in different ways and the discovery of a cheating husband or cheating wife is often a very different situation and experience from one person to the other.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How to Fix A Struggling Marriage – Step #1

Natalie had lost herself in her marriage. She was constantly running errands for her children, husband and checking in on both sets of parents, that she had neglected her own needs. By her own admission, she was far too busy and stressed to enjoy life. David her husband was also stressed, travelling and working long hours to pay for all the growing household expenses. Both felt unappreciated, drained of energy and frustrated at the lack of attention, love and care they were receiving. They were angry at each other, resentment and distance was building.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Can You Save A Marriage After Separation? Or is it the End?

The most common questions I get asked are: How can you save a marriage after separation? Or how can I get my husband or wife to reconsider a separation? Or My husband/ wife is insisting on a separation, what can I do? These are important questions as it is a critical time if you want to save your marriage. It doesn’t matter whether you are currently physically separated or just thinking about having a separation there are certain things you must do to help the relationship.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Infidelity - 4 Steps To Affair Proof Your Marriage

When it comes to infidelity and after the affair recovery in couple therapy, here are the top 3 common questions I often get asked: Is it possible to avoid affairs and affair-proof your marriage? Are there ways to ruin my cheating husband's / wife's affair and show them what they have with me? I think about cheating often and get really tempted, can the marriage still work? Yes is the answer to these questions. I have answered them below in my 4 Steps to Help Avoid Affairs In Your Marriage

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Financial Abuse: Is Your Husband / Wife Financially Controlling?

Financial Abuse – Relationship Advice for a Financially Controlling Husband / Wife: Financial conflict causes a great deal of unhappiness and tension in relationships. I received this email last week and they have given me permission to share it, here is the advice I gave Emily (name changed) I hope if you are facing financial control or other conflicts this helps you. Hi Nicolar

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Couples Therapy - How to Deal with Your Spouses Annoying Habits

What are your spouse's most annoying habits? Is it the way they talk, eat, sit, clean up or snore when they sleep? Do they perhaps hum an annoying tune or crack their knuckles? And when was the last time they did something that irritated you? Last week? Yesterday? An hour ago? One of the most annoying things about annoying habits is that they can be so small, but still drive you mad. Overtime you may find the list of annoying habits grow. It may not be that your spouse has added more irritating habits as years have gone by, but instead, a sign your "honeymoon period" is over.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Do You Have Each Other’s Back? 6 Tips To Make Your Marriage More Loving…

Do you and your partner have each other’s back or are you operating more in a mode of attack? We wouldn’t be human if we did not experience times in our lives that challenged us. It’s natural that certain events, people and our own behaviour will trigger fear, anger, stress, jealousy, overwhelm, guilt from time to time. This is a normal part of being alive. We may not be able to control the circumstances but we can control how we deal with situations and choose our response.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How to STOP the Same Arguments Resurfacing and Become Closer

Are you exhausted of the same topics, issues or arguments resurfacing time and time again in your relationship? Are you sick and tired of the emotional relationship rollercoaster you find yourself on? If you have tried speaking to your spouse (or even tried marriage counselling) and nothing seems to be working? If yes, you are not alone… The problem is, the misinformation we are socialised to believe will fix our problems that never ever work. Which of the below have your tried? 1. Making Reassurances or Excuses- saying “I’ll change” or “things will be different.”r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Is Love Enough? 3 Truths about Romantic LOVE…

I hear people say all the time… I love my husband/wife but I’m not “In Love” with him/her. I’m just not sure if I love them anymore. I love them but he/she said I don’t love you anymore, is my love enough? These kinds of statements can be extremely confusing not to mention painful and disheartening. So I wanted to share a few truths I have come to know about love after helping hundreds of individuals and couples get through various crises points and difficult times to have a more loving, happy and rewarding marriage. Marriage Advice – 3 truths about love

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Rebuilding After Affairs

Since working with individuals over the years to heal from infidelity and marriages with multiple wives, I have learnt what successful re-builders do compared to those unsuccessful in repairing their relationships after affairs. Whilst there is no denying that affairs can destroy love, relationships and self-confidence, they don’t have to. As long as the betrayer follows some crucial steps to help their spouse heal and together the couple look at ways to improve and strengthen their marriage.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,459 views4/5 (1)
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Who Wears the Pants in Your Relationship? Marriage Problems -5 Signs of Controlling Behaviour

We all know the saying ‘Who wears the pants in your relationship’ but have you ever taken a step back and really thought about it? Who wears the pants in your relationship? Do you both wear them, or does one of you predominantly wear the pants and control the relationship? Either way, a healthy relationship is one that is balanced, where both partners can be themselves and just as importantly, feel good about themselves. Of all the different marriage problems signs, control issues are very common.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

3 Steps to Handling Rejection in Intimate Relationships

Rejection is painful no matter where it comes from, but it is especially hurtful when it comes from your partner… The one that knows you the most and is meant to love ALL of you deeply. Rejection is one of the hardest feelings to experience because it often plays on your mind non-stop, like a stuck broken record… scratching away at you and your sanity. This is how it used to be for me anyway and having supported 1000’s of people now, I know I am not alone.r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Drop Neediness and Become More Attractive In Your Relationship

Overcome the top 5 signs of being too needy, give your partner space and increase your attractiveness! Neediness will kill the passion and attraction in your relationship. We all want to be cherished and desired in our relationship that makes us feel good but being needed and pampering to a lover’s insecurities does not feel good.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Why Marriage Counselling Can Fail & What to Avoid

” 75% of people say they’re Worse off or Even Divorced after Marriage Counseling! Don’t Let That Happen To You! Today I got an email from a couple who I was working with this month to strengthen their relationship. With their permission, they have let me share their story in order to help and inspire others and give hope that it is not only possible to transform your relationship, but that you change things quickly.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Focus on Love and Resolve Your Marriage Problems Quickly

Love is a wonderful feeling. Self-love brings peace and acceptance, love for others and being loved brings feelings of gratitude and happiness. So today I am going to cover the 3 easiest ways to bring more of it into your life and relationships. I have developed several tools that have been tried and tested by 1000’s of married couples all over the world to use love to fix marriage problems. Today I am sharing some basic tips Before I go into them let’s go over what love is. According to the dictionary:

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Helping Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair

Most unfaithful partners underestimate the damage and fallout after infidelity. Many claim that they didn’t think of the consequences and often, when faced with losing what they have, panic. This panic can lead them to make further mistakes in their attempts to help their injured partner. If you have cheated on your spouse, but have regrets and hope to save your relationship, don't let another mistake-ridden day go by without reading some of these tips.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

First Impressions Matter in Dating. First INTERACTIONS Matter in Marriage! The Key To Happiness

We have all heard time and time again in the home, at school and in the work place that first impressions count. Whether that’s our mothers trying to get us to polish our shoes, wear something we don’t like or advice given for a job interview. Having helped saved thousands of marriages now, either through my online programs or in person in couple counselling in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, UAE. I have come to learn that First Interactions count massively and something I always discuss in my approach to marriage counselling.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Couple Therapy - 5 Secrets to Protecting Yourself From Your Spouses Negativity

"Nicola, my husband is chronically complaining and forever in a bad mood. He manages to find something wrong with everything and is constantly feeling hard done by and down. I don’t know how to help him or live with him at times! I don’t want him to ruin the holidays for me and the children again. What can I do?"

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

3 Reasons & Ways To Stop Bickering In Your Relationship

Many couples bicker over all sorts of trivial things. Especially when they have become more disconnected, this is where ridiculous arguments, over pointless things can become big issues. For example I’ve heard couples bicker about the “right” way to pack the dishwasher, whether a colour is red or orange, who ate or drank what on an evening, who left the door open and how to correctly pronounce the word “niche” … and there so many more of mine own I could share, before I knew how harmful it was.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Relationship Advice - How to Keep Marital Satisfaction High After Children

The effects of having a child are immeasurable. Whilst most parents say the greatest moment and thing in their life was the birth of their son or daughter. The effect that having a child can have on your marriage is immense. Marital dissatisfaction can ensue after having a child and it can persist for years if you choose either not to address it, or, to assume that your relationship will flourish or return to how it was without giving it the attention it deserves.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Feeling Guilty about ending your Marriage? Secret Tips to Let Go of Guilt

Guilt is a painful, uncomfortable and often lingering emotion that many individuals I work with suffer from. You will learn about John and Dana’s experience today, and at the end are my 3 secret tips to letting go of guilt. Take John’s case, after many years of endless agonizing and indecision, he recently left his marriage of 23 years, to a woman that adored him. He wasn’t seeing anyone else. He loved and cared for her but no longer wanted to be with her. They had nothing to talk about or in common and being around her and their home made him feel trapped and depressed.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

5 Keys to Overcome Tension & Save Your Marriage

WHERE THERE’S A WILL THERE’S A WAY How to get past the problems you’re having and make it work The key to strengthening and improving any relationship, especially those that are struggling is honesty. What are you really feeling inside? What do you really want and need? What do you want and need from your partner? What do they want and need? Once both partners can face the facts and be completely honest and truthful with themselves they are half-way there. Save Your Marriage TIP 1: TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT?r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

First Impressions Matter in Dating. First INTERACTIONS Matter in Marriage! The Key To Happiness

We have all heard time and time again in the home, at school and in the work place that first impressions count. Whether that’s our mothers trying to get us to polish our shoes, wear something we don’t like or advice given for a job interview. Having helped saved thousands of marriages now, either through my online programs or in person in couple counselling in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, UAE. I have come to learn that First Interactions count massively and something I always discuss in my approach to marriage counselling.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Are you Spending Enough Time Together? Relationship Counseling Advice

Time can be a big source of conflict in relationships. When you get married “your time” also becomes “their time” and if you have children then you need to also schedule in “family time” and time for family chores. Many couples I speak to are feeling so busy and stressed by feeling pulled in multiple directions that the quality of the marriage is declining.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
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