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Articles by Nicola Beer

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79 articles by Nicola Beer · showing 29

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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Is Guilt a Reason to Stay in a Relationship? Marriage Advice

Last week a lady I’m supporting in the in the US said: “Nicola, I want out of this marriage but I feel too guilty to leave.” Many men have shared the same with me. Staying in a relationship because of guilt alone can be a miserable way to live. If this is really all that is keeping a couple and family together. However, I often find that it is used as an excuse to mask someone’s own dependency. As many individuals don’t want to admit to themselves that they really DO want to STAY in the relationship if only some key things would change.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,695 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How To Restore Intimacy & Connection in a Struggling Relationship

Why do couples struggle to stay intimate? This is a question that baffled me when I started working in this field. Many women would say to me “what do I do when the feelings in a marriage are gone?” or men I work with to save their marriage would share “when a marriage is over to one person can you get it back?” I wanted to know why when the feelings in a marriage are gone can they not be restored with focus and effort. The good news is they can, the problem is 3 main things stop couples from reconnecting which I will explain in this article.r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,819 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How to Stop Disagreements From Escalating in Your Marriage – Relationship Advice

When couples begin my private online 1-to1 or group coaching packages, one of the first things they say to me is they have a problem with their communication. I often hear the following: “We can’t communicate” “They don’t listen” “Everything ends up in a row.” “We sometimes don’t talk for days/ weeks or months” “I cannot remember the last time we had a good conversation.”

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,374 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

To Stay or Leave a Struggling Marriage?

Today we live in an age that promotes self-awareness BUT when it comes to relationships, it fails to show us how to use our self-awareness to arrive at good decisions. Most of the advice we get makes our problems even worse. There are literally millions of men and women ambivalent about whether to stay in or leave their marriage. If this is you, I will share why you MUST get out of limbo for the sake of your sanity, health and relationship.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,775 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Is it okay to snoop on your partner’s phone?

Snooping comes up time and time again in my work with couples from all over the world online. Arguments over discoveries after snooping on phones are frequent. This has included 1. Facebook messages to ex’s, 2. Whats app messages sharing intimate details or marriage complaints to friends, family or strangers 3. Flirting from work colleagues or old school friends.r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,718 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Sick & Tired of Doing Everything in Your Relationship? STOP! This is the Secret to Happiness…

Does it feel like everything is up to you to make the relationship work? Does everything seem one-sided right now? Do you feel you are the only one taking care of the important stuff? If yes that’s totally natural Relationships are like a seesaw The more one person does something, the less the other one will do. The more one person wants or worries about something the less the other one will want it or worry about it. The more one person takes care of something the less the other will be bothered.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
3,625 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Do You LOVE or HATE New Year Resolutions?

I tend to find like marmite, garlic or someone packing your bags at the supermarket, people either love or hate the concept of making new year’s resolutions. Working with hundreds of people through relationship issues, there is often one in a couple one who loves to plan, organise and schedule and the other who likes to let life happen and just be open for the journey. Neither is better or worse, just different ways of approaching life and both have plus points…

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,553 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Do You Have A Shared Meaning For Your Marriage? Happy Marriages Do!

“Marriage isn’t just about raising kids, splitting chores, and making love. It can also have a spiritual dimension that has to do with creating an inner life together — a culture rich with rituals, and an appreciation for your roles and goals that link you..." according to Gottmans 40 years of research, working with thousands of couples. He claims having a share meaning is what makes for a happy, fulfilling and lasting marriage and it is his seventh principle in his book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" that has sold over a million copies worldwide.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,679 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

7 Tips to Stop Work From Harming Your Marriage

In the current market, long working work hours and high levels of stress seems to be the norm rather than the exception. It used to be entrepreneurs and executives running round fire fighting and answering emails 24/7, now most of my expat friends and clients are doing the same. There is no denying that demanding work schedules make it even more difficult to have a close and happy relationship, for various reasons! Especially when you had work travel or children to the mix.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,604 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

See it, Smell it, Taste it! How to Create the Perfect Holiday

Every year in December, magazines cover the same old story, how to survive the holidays. Every year they generally say the same thing; keep it simple, have a plan, be HoEvery year in December, magazines cover the same old story, how to survive the holidays. Every year they generally say the same thing; keep it simple, have a plan, be organized, don’t worry. It’s pretty much just recycled and repackaged advice year after year.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,373 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Tips to Getting Through Rough Patches in Your Relationship

One of the biggest issues that couples face is that after the first few blissful months or years together we begin to see our partner’s flaws, the things we don’t like and the things that upset us and annoy us. When we initially fall in love it is with the feeling it gives us. We feel on top of the world when we are in love and without realizing it we soon become oblivious to the reality of what it really means to be living with another person who has issues, fears, problems and insecurities of their own.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,495 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

9 Things To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up On Your Marriage:

We all can probably remember a time in our lives where we have felt like giving up. Where we have felt exhausted, drained, alone and hopeless. I remember feeling so low at times that I could not see the point in trying or fighting anymore. Whether in the setup phases of my business many years ago or in my love life. During these times where I felt crushed, I would often ask myself “what’s the point?” Having worked with 1000’s of couples now in my online programs I am not alone. Many relationships inevitably hit a point where both parties may think “what’s happened to us?”r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,657 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Staying Connected - 12 Tips To Successful Long Distance Parenting

Staying Connected To Children When Living Apart - 12 Tips for Successful Long Distance Parenting Of all the challenges, change and stress divorce brings, long distance parenting is one of the most painful and difficult to face. And yet, it is a very real experience for countless numbers of divorced families, with limited support available. Whilst this is written for separated and divorced long-distance parents, many expats living apart from their children have found these tips useful. Where Skype Parents, in particular "skype dads" has become a common trend in this mobile society.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
2,458 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Do You Ever Think How Can I Change My Spouse?

You wouldn’t believe the amount of husbands and wives that come up to me and say “Nicola, how do I get my Spouse to Change? ”If you are trying to save your marriage by desperately attempting to change your partner to no avail - STOP! Want your partner to exercise more? Stop social media? Drink less? Stop nagging or yelling? Clean up more? Pay you more attention? Be more sociable ? Be more intimate?

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,056 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How long does it take to heal after an affair? The stages of healing after an affair – By Nicola Beer

Having worked with 100’s of couples now looking to repair the relationship or heal themselves after an affair, most want to know how long does it take to heal and what are the stages of healing after an affair. Like when dealing with a significant loss, loss of a loved one, financial loss or health loss there is no set time period for the healing process after an affair. We all deal with loss in different ways and the discovery of a cheating husband or cheating wife is often a very different situation and experience from one person to the other.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,990 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Intimacy Differences – Low Desire V’s High Desire Partners in Relationships

Differences are an inevitable fact in any relationship. One very common difference is the difference in sexual desire. Low sexual desire or “low libido” as it is often called is actually very common for many men and women. They estimate about 40% of women will experience this and 17% of men (and estimate actual figures may be far higher). For men however it is less talked about as there is a societal expectation that men must live up to a reputation, that is that they are “always in the mood.” But that’s not true.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,724 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

Husband or Wife Not Affectionate – How to Deal with a Lack of Affection in Your Relationship!

Tips on How To Save An Affection-Starved Marriage and Keep Your Relationship Happy Affection can be one of the first things to go after children are born or when a marriage is in trouble. BUT it doesn’t have to mean something serious and it can be naturally restored as I will go on to explain. Why after children? Hundreds of couples have shared with me that the affection they used to give to each other over time has been transferred to their children. Whilst this can easily happen couples without children can go through periods of lack of affection too.r

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
2,739 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

How Not Forgiving Your Partner or Ex, Harms You!

Are you struggling to forgive your ex or current partner for something they did? Are you still carrying a grudge, feel resentment or anger towards them? In all romantic relationships (past and present) there will be times where the one you love will hurt you. It could be something small, like a comment on the way you look, not calling when they said they would or forgetting important dates. Then there are bigger issues; infidelity, insulting your family, abusive or addictive behavior.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,990 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

4 Keys to Staying Connected in Your Relationship – Part 1

“Marriage isn’t just about raising kids, splitting chores and making love. It can also have a spiritual dimension that has to do with creating an inner life together — a culture rich with rituals, and an appreciation for your roles and goals that link you…” Gottman, 7 Principals of Making a Marriage Work There are different elements that help build and support a shared meaning, all of which should be established and then built on over time. Read through each element and answer the questions after each section, making note of any thoughts that pop up you want to share with your lover.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,584 views
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By Nicola BeerRecently published1 topic

4 Ways to Get and Stay Close to Your Partner

Do you feel like you are drifting along in your marriage? Do you lack excitement or fulfilment in your relationship? Do you sometimes wonder why you are still married? As mentioned last week there are four elements that help build and support a shared meaning, all of which should be established and then built on over time. Read through each element and answer the questions after each section, making note of any thoughts that pop up you want to share with your lover. Four Elements That Build a Shared Meaning and Purpose Couple Counselling Tip 1. Rituals of Connectionr

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching
Marriage Coaching
1,603 views
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