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Manners on the Road By Ron Ross Every road you drive on is filled with cheerful people who are courteous and careful on their commute, right? Wong. You and I, however, are always considerate and polite when we are behind the wheel, right? Wrong again. All drivers are guilty of angry responses to rude drivers from time to time. If you would like to know how I need to improve my manners on the road – keep reading!
No one likes a critic, but that doesn't stop many who criticize darn near everything that happens. Those folks suffer from a belief system that is personally and socially destructive. They believe that nothing is ever right or good enough. There are two kinds of critics – the kind we're most familiar with is the person who belittles others' achievements and finds fault with the words or deeds of nearly everyone they meet. For these kinds of folks, no one or nothing is worthy of compliment or praise.
Help Someone Else By Dr. Ron Ross When you’re stuck in the mud you are totally focused on your own miserable situation. You pay little attention to the pain or despair of anyone else. You think you are the only person with a problem like this and that it is the worst that it could possibly be. You’re wrong on two counts. First of all, you are not the only person that has encountered the problems you now have; many have gone before you and survived. Second, it is not the worst it could possibly be; things may get much worse before they improve.
By Ron Ross Anger can be expressed in six common ways. Five of them do not work well. Those five are BLOW OUT, STRIKE OUT, FAKE OUT, SNUFF OUT, and PULL OUT. Read about them at RonRossToday.com The best way to deal with anger is to learn how to effectively SPEAK OUT your anger without shouting, cursing, complaining, hiding, punching, seething, or running. Using S-P-E-A-K as an acrostic, here are my suggestions for the appropriate expression of anger. S - SUPERVISE. SUPERVISE YOURSELF FIRST.
Seven Sources of Self-Confidence By Ron Ross If God himself could give you a report on how much raw untapped talent lies within you, you would be embarrassed to ever whine or complain again. No matter how stuck in the mud you may be today, you have the capacity to summon empowering emotions, to imagine remarkable goals, and to make choices in this present moment that will change your life forever, and it all starts in your mind.
To answer the question, “Who am I” requires you ask, “Where did I come from?” Many try to answer that question with a genealogical search. That only answers part of the question. A genealogical search may teach you about your ancestors but it does not tell you anything about your origin.
Avoid Trifling Conversation By Dr. Ron Ross The Ellen DeGeneres show was on the TV when I walked into a waiting room. I had to listen to it because, well, because it was on and I had to wait. I didn’t want to hear it so I did my best to tune out her inane conversation with some celebrity. What I heard serves to make the point of this edition’s way out of the mud: avoid trifling conversation.
Ingratitude By Ron Ross Kids are ungrateful because that is how they were raised. At birth, if they were hungry, all they had to do was scream until their mother fed them. The baby had no concept of what the mother just went through to bring the child to full term and give birth, then start caring for his/her every need even before her contractions ceased. The baby wasn’t grateful for the feeding even though a quiet sleep followed.
Twenty Tips for Lively Living By Dr. Ron Ross Tips 1 – 10 were previously printed; here are tips 11 – 20. Be sure to read the special offer at the end of the column. 11. Persevere. Difficulties are sure to come, some failure is likely, but anything worth having is worth working for. As you journey through life sing the song, “Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow ‘til you find your dream.”
Sagging Trousers and PJs in Public By Ron Ross Trousers worn with the waistbands around the hips so the whole world sees your underpants: bad manners. It is a style overwhelmingly favored by young males and causes them to walk with a bizarre gait and constantly “hitch up” their trousers so they don’t fall to the ground. I have one word to describe this fashion: revolting. That, however, may be why so many male youth wear their pants down, but it is still bad manners.
Success is not an accident. It takes planning, effort and discipline. One way for you to seek your own personal success is to ask the right questions. When you ask the right questions you have a better chance to get the right answers. The kinds of questions I refer to are not mathematical equations or esoteric inquiries about the origin of the universe. I’m referring to questions about how you live your daily life. About what you think about, how you view your life, how you think and speak about yourself and your situation.
There are an increasing number of people who think Washington DC has all the resources and all the wisdom necessary to solve their daily personal problems. This kind of thinking is music to the ears of professional politicians and government bureaucrats because they want as many people as possible to be dependent on them. It gives them power and assures their reelection.
You pray, not because you are a wimpy, helpless, crybaby who is so insecure you think you must depend on some invisible power in the sky to get you through the day. No, you pray because you have, or at least you desire, a personal relationship with God. You believe God lives and he is interested in your life. But more than that, you are convinced God wants a close relationship with you because he created you and he loves you.
By Ron Ross My neighbor came charging across the street. His eyes bulged out and his fists were clenched as he came screaming into my yard, “Why the ____ did you call the cops on me?” “Because you cannot keep you dogs from barking and the entire neighborhood is fed up with it,” I said in as quiet a voice as I could, hoping to calm him down. It did not work. He kept yelling at me and threatening my life. The guy had anger fever and the temperature was not going down.
Begin Now By Ron Ross The easiest thing you can do if you’re stuck in the mud is to PROCRASTINATE! Do nothing. Just sit there and wallow in the sticky, putrid, dreary muck you have been comfortable in for years. After I earned my 4-year bachelor’s degree I wanted to get a master’s degree. My excuse for not taking classes was that I had a wife and three kids, a full time job, a part time business, and I was active in several community organizations. Besides that I had no extra money for tuition and books. I had plenty of excuses to procrastinate.
“I’m shy. That’s just the way I am,” said a young lady I spoke to recently. To her, shyness is in the same category as the color of her eyes or the size of her feet – something she cannot change. But she can change, and so can you. You do not have to be stranded alone in the corner of a room while everyone else has a good time. Here are three reasons why you are shy and one thing you can do about it.
Conversational Manners By Ron Ross Good conversations are fun to be a part of – unless someone is rude. Bad manners in conversation will stifle communication and short-circuit camaraderie. Here are a few simple guidelines for mutually satisfying conversations:
All holidays cause some insidious angst and distress in the hearts and lives of many people so I'm calling for their abolition. I'm not the first person to notice the evil of holidays. Several years ago some private school in New York decided to exclude the celebration for Mother's Day because some of the students didn't have mothers. Madonna, Ellen DeGeneres and most of the not-very-feminine women of the feminist movement have already declared fatherhood a meaningless institution of antiquity so cancel Father's Day.
Two destructive dogmas popular today are hedonism and narcissism. Hedonism is a socially destructive ethical theory that asserts pleasure is the highest good and proper aim of human life. If you've heard someone whine, "But I just want to have fun," or, "I just want to be happy," they are hedonists. Oscar Wilde, an Irish poet and playwright of the 1800s, summarized hedonism: "Pleasure is the only thing one should live for, nothing ages like happiness."
Have you ever ridden in a multi-million dollar executive jet? My brother has been a professional pilot all his life. I once flew with him from Colorado to Florida in one of the most technologically advanced executive jets ever built. He had been flying this magnificent airplane and his billionaire employer all around the world. He was thoroughly trained and had hundreds of hours of experience flying this particular aircraft. Yet, without fail previous to take-off, he and his co-pilot always went through a predetermined checklist. I asked him why.
How confident are you? It makes a difference, you know. The measure of your self-confidence is revealed in a variety of ways: your voice, the language you use, your body language, your grooming and much more. Self-confident people have a natural magnetism about them. They can be identified almost immediately when they enter a room. They walk with buoyancy, stand with dignity, speak with conviction, and love with passion. They know where they’ve been, where they’re going, and why. They believe they are able to solve problems, overcome obstacles, and achieve goals.
Those who believe in Humanism advocate a doctrine that allows them to engage in anything which the human body may desire. They tolerate immorality, advocate abortion up to and including the ninth month, and support euthanasia, homosexuality, adultery, and any variety of invented "gender" identity.
Who is that person wearing your skin? Where have you come from, where are you going, and what are you supposed to be doing in the meantime? In short, who are you?
“9 Self-assuring Affirmations for When You Need a Little Boost,” boasted the headline. I clicked on it hoping I might learn something new. I didn’t. It was a series of nine little pictures with clever sayings on them. The “writer” provided no content beyond a short introductory paragraph that ended with this: “If you’re looking for a little encouragement, check out the self-assuring affirmations below. Then take on the world with the knowledge that you’re capable of anything.”
By Ron Ross Feasting, football games, and of course, Black Friday sales often bury the true meaning of Thanksgiving. I must confess that at our house during the Thanksgiving weekend we do feast, I watch a little football, and my wife does some shopping. But through it all we do take time to give thanks and you should too! Here are four good reasons you should give thanks, not only on Thanksgiving Day, but every day of the year.
If you want to escape reality, you have a lot of help. There are many industries ready to free your mind as they take your money — the gaming-industry is one of them. The global video game revenue was around $180 billion in 2020, making it a bigger moneymaker than the worldwide movie and North American sports industries combined.
Barbra Streisand sang in her portrayal of Fanny Bryce in Funny Girl? “People who like people are the luckiest people in the world.” Notice she did not sing, “People who are liked by other people are the luckiest people in the world.” Yet that is what many lonely people think. Barbra’s lesson is: You must like people first then they will like you. There are five realities of loneliness that every lonely person must come to terms with, and there are five actions you can take to overcome it. The Five Realities of Loneliness
Eliminate the Twin Killers of Success Part 2 By Dr. Ron Ross Many worthy goals, promising relationships, and terrific business ideas are ruined by the Twin Killers of Success: Speed and Greed. Last week the focus was on speed, this week on greed.
The troubled marriage, parents who want their child to change, good people who want a good job, middle-class families who have too much month left at the end of their money, and seniors who worry about outliving their welcome and/or suffering some debilitating disease—they all want something to change. A couple of thousand years ago, a few people had their lives changed by a little baby born in an obscure village called Bethlehem. When they encountered that baby boy, it changed their lives in ways they could never have imagined. He can change your life, too.
Wikipedia’s explanation of faith begins with this line: “Faith is belief in an idea that is unsupported or contradicted by evidence … largely reserved for concepts of religion.” Humbug. That’s not faith, that’s stupidity. Faith is not something for weak minds or emotional morons. True faith engages the mind, emotions and will for a confident anticipation of advantage.
The best way to deal with anger (discussed in Part 1) is to learn how to effectively SPEAK OUT your anger without shouting, cursing, complaining, hiding, punching, seething, or running. Here’s how: S-P-E-A-K; it’s an acrostic for the appropriate expression of anger. S—SUPERVISE YOURSELF FIRST. In every tension-filled encounter, someone needs to be the grown-up, let that person be you. Take control of your emotions, your body, and your tongue.
Now that you have discovered and refined your purpose for living it is time to prepare for action. This is an important step. Do not deceive yourself that just because you have defined your purpose for living that everything from now on will be downhill.
Back in the 1950s my brother and I loved going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Thanksgiving Day. When I was ten years old we took one of those memorable trips from Norfolk, Nebraska to Julesburg, Colorado where Grandma and Grandpa lived in a small white house just catty-co er from City Park. On Thanksgiving Day Grandma spent most of her time in the kitchen cooking up a wonderful meal. A big brown turkey had been carefully chosen, and it was artistically basted a dozen or so times as it baked in the oven.
Think Possibilities By Dr. Ron Ross Born in Ireland in 1884, child prodigy William Thomson was enrolled in Glasgow University at age ten. He became an accomplished mathematician, astronomer, chemist, and physicist who made a significant contribution to the laying of the transatlantic cable in 1858. His distinguished scientific career was confirmed when he was elected to the Royal Society where he served as its president. He was also known of as the First Baron Kelvin of Largs.
Learn the Laws of the Farmer By Dr. Ron Ross Over one hundred years ago my grandfather homesteaded on a quarter section of land near Deer Trail, Colorado. On his treeless high-prairie land about 50 miles east of Denver he built a sod hut for him and his horse, then planted a crop of pinto beans and awaited his first harvest.
A New Series Begins! By Dr. Ron Ross My mother nearly killed me during the summer before I entered the first grade. I really hadn’t done anything terribly wrong except to play in the back yard. Well maybe I did a little wrong – I played in the part of the back yard that Dad had just tilled so Mom could plant a garden. The problem was not that the area was tilled; it was that it had rained all morning and the tilled section was a large area of some really gooey mud that looked to this little boy like a great place to play.
If stuff-ism were a religion, the local self-storage rental facility would be the place of worship. In America today, there are 1.7 billion square feet of self-storage space for rent. Most of the sites run at a consistent 90% occupancy with an individual monthly fee of around $90.
What to do about a cell phone addict By Ron Ross Rudeness happens when you are with someone who is obsessed with his/her high-tech device such as a cell phone or tablet. How loudly can I say this: CONSTANTLY CHECKING YOUR CELL PHONE FOR TEXT MESSAGES WHILE VISITING WITH SOMEONE IS RUDE!
Part Three: “Why do you act like that?” Lifetime experiences Education. How were you educated: homeschooled, private school, parochial school, or public school? How did your teachers and coaches treat you? Were you a part of the in-crowd or not? Was school easy or difficult for you? Who were the people who influenced you (for good or bad) during your formative years?
Manners at the Airport and at 25,000 Feet By Ron Ross “Hi there!” a pretty lady said to me with a big smile, “I’m Julie and I am going to be your BFF for the next two hours!” We were flying from Denver to Chicago on a direct flight. I had the aisle seat and she was stuck in the center seat on a packed airplane.
What three qualities make for a great relationship? In nearly every survey one word will always appear: communication. Then why do so many couples make every effort to avoid talking with each other? Here are my top ten excuses men and women use to avoid meaningful personal interaction. The list is not in any particular order except excuse #1, which shall be revealed in the next column.
As a kid, I was not too fond of report cards. My mother never saved a one (thankfully). Perfectionism is a never-ending, never good enough report card on who you are and what you do and say. It's "a personality trait characterized by high expectations and standards." (Psychology Today)
Keep Watch By Dr. Ron Ross The clock on my dashboard said 7:28, my watch said 7:31, and my cell phone said 7:33. I wondered out loud, “Am I going to be two minutes early or three minutes late?” I parked my car, grabbed my briefcase, and jogged toward the office building. As I ran, it hit me: there’s a big difference between having a watch and keeping watch.
Aretha Franklin sings about it, Rodney Dangerfield complains he doesn’t get any at all, and the rest of us would appreciate a little more of that curious thing called respect. Some say that every human owes every other human a measure of respect. But are we obligated to respect everyone?
There may be times in your life when you need outside help to survive. That is why there are a variety of wonderful charities and social services to help people in times of need. But the reality is programs like Welfare, food stamps, free lunch, and government housing, are ultimately harmful to many who become perpetually dependant on them.
For review, here are the first four questions to ask yourself when thinking about your own personal success: • Q1: Which is easier to accomplish: to make the world adjust to my particular needs or for me to adjust to the world as it is today? • Q2: Who is best suited to fix my personal problems, politicians in Washington DC or me? • Q3: Which will ultimately result in a better me: continued dependency or self-reliance? • Q4: Which is most likely to help me succeed: to pull some other person down or help someone else succeed?
Live With Purpose By Dr. Ron Ross Who am I and why am I here? Those are the two most important questions you can ask yourself. Question 1: Who am I? Some say you’re the product of a bit of slime that squirmed its way out of some prehistoric bog and evolved from this to that, then to something else until one day, some fifty-million years later, “YOU” appeared. That’s the good news. The bad news is that after fifty-million years of evolution, you are allowed only seven or eight wearying decades until someone sticks you back into the bog you allegedly came from. What a deal!
“What do you do that causes her to treat you that way?” was a question my counseling professor, Fr. Dr. Robert McEniry (Creighton University), taught his students to ask in a marriage counseling situation. The question presupposes that the responsibility for what happens between married partners is on each of them, not just one of them. A lonely person should ask a similar question: What do I do that causes people to treat me the way they do? All emotional healing begins with self-inventory and an acceptance of personal responsibility for who you are, how you act, and what happens to you.r
It is very easy to think, I’m wiser, I’m prettier, I’m more talented, I’m smarter, I’m more popular, I’m better than you at this or that or something else. Of the seven deadly sins, pride is considered the most alluring and the most destructive. Bad pride shows up as conceit, self-importance, and rudeness. It is me-oriented, I-focused, self-congratulating and self-obsessing. You don’t like people like that and you don’t want to be that kind of person for three reasons:
Reason #2 God Gave Us Humor: Humor is Better tha Exercise! By Ron Ross You may have read the meme, “Rabbits jump, and they live eight years. Dogs run, and they live 15 years, turtles do nothing, and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.” Or how about this one: “A balanced diet is having a cupcake in each hand.” OK, one more: “I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place.” Are you laughing yet? I hope so because laughter is better than exercise.