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Browse every published article connected to Sam Vaknin, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
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Browse every published article connected to Sam Vaknin, or search within this exact expert archive.
"It is an ill thing to knock against a deaf-mute, an imbecile, or a minor. He that wounds them is culpable, but if they wound him they are not culpable." (Mishna, Babylonian Talmud) Some personality disorders are culture-bound. Critics charge that these "mental illnesses" mostly serve as an ...
Obsessions and compulsions are about control of self (mental) and others (interpersonal). People with the Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) are conce ed (worried and anxious) about maintaining control and about being seen to be maintaining it. In other words, they are also ...
Question: My husband is a narcissist and is constantly depressed. Is there any connection between these two problems? Answer: Assuming that these are clinically established facts, there is no necessary connection between them. In other words, there is no proven high correlation between ...
Personality disorders cannot be safely diagnosed prior to early adolescence. Still, though frequently found between the ages of 3 and 6, Asperger's Disorder is often misdiagnosed as a cluster B personality disorder, most often as the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The Asperger's ...
There is nothing special about the body language or behavior patterns of the abuser. If your abuser is a narcissist, his pathology is evident on first sight (read "How to Recognize a Narcissist"). But not all abusers are narcissists. Regrettably, most victims find themselves trapped long before ...
The presence of pets activates in us two primitive psychological defense mechanisms: projection and narcissism. Projection is a defense mechanism intended to cope with internal or exte al stressors and emotional conflict by attributing to another person or object (such as a pet) - usually falsely - thoughts, feelings, wishes, impulses, needs, and hopes deemed forbidden or unacceptable by the projecting party. In the case of pets, projection works through anthropomorphism: we attribute to animals our traits, behavior patterns, needs, wishes, emotions, and cognitive processes.
To embark on our exploration of the abusive mind, we first need to agree on a taxonomy of abusive behaviours. Methodically observing abuse is the surest way of getting to know the perpetrators. Abusers appear to be suffering from dissociation (multiple personality). At home, they are ...
It is telling that precious few psychology and psychopathology textbooks dedicate an entire chapter to abuse and violence. Even the most egregious manifestations – such as child sexual abuse – merit a fleeting mention, usually as a sub-chapter in a larger section dedicated to paraphilias or ...
Introduction to Psychosisn Psychosis is chaotic thinking that is the result of a severely impaired reality test ( the patient cannot tell inner fantasy from outside reality). Some psychotic states are short-lived and transient (microepisodes). These last from a few hours to a few days and are ...
Donovan, 16 years old, is incapable of loving and, therefore, has never loved you, his mother (or, for that matter, anyone else, himself included) in his entire life. His natural capacity to love and to return love was all but eliminated by his horrid childhood. We practice loving first and ...
Disclaimer The Masochistic personality disorder was included in the DSM III-TR but removed from the DSM IV and from its text revision, the DSM IV-TR. This move was criticized by some scholars, notably Theodore Millon. Notes of first therapy session with Sam, male, 46, diagnosed with ...
Phineas Gage was a 25 years old construction foreman who lived in Vermont in the 1860s. While working on a railroad bed, he packed powdered explosives into a hole in the ground, using tamping iron. The powder heated and blew in his face. The tamping iron rebounded and pierced the top of his ...
Notes of first therapy session with T. Dal, female, 26, diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Dal is an attractive young woman but seems to be unable to maintain a stable sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Her confidence in her ability to "hold on to men" is at a low ebb, ...
Notes of first therapy session with Gladys, female, 26, diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder "I would like to be normal" - says Gladys and blushes purple. In which sense is she abnormal? She prefers reading books and watching movies with her elderly mother to going out with her ...
Your abusive ex is likely to cope with the pain and humiliation of separation by spreading lies, distortions, and half-truths about you and by proffering self-justifying interpretations of the events leading to the break-up. By targeting your closest, nearest, and dearest – your family, ...
(I use "she" throughout this article but it applies to male victims as well) Contrary to popular misconceptions, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Acute Stress Disorder (or Reaction) are not typical responses to prolonged abuse. They are the outcomes of sudden exposure to severe or ...
Notes of first therapy session with Marsha, female, 56, diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder Marsha visibly resents the fact that I have had to pay attention to another patient (an emergency) "at her expense" as she puts it. She pouts and bats suspiciously long eyelashes at me: "Has ...
Personality disorders are not only all-pervasive, but also diffuse and shape-shifting. It is taxing and emotionally harrowing to watch how a loved one is consumed by these pernicious and largely incurable conditions. Victims adopt varying stances and react in different ways to the inevitable ...
Disclaimer Statistically, the majority of abuse victims are female and most abusers are male. Still, we should bear in mind that there are male victims and female offenders as well. Ideally, after a period of combined tutoring, talk therapy, and (anti-anxiety or antidepressant) medications, ...
Is sexual abuse worse than emotional abuse? Is verbal abuse less deleterious than physical abuse (beatings)? Somehow, the professional literature implies that there is a hierarchy with sexual mistreatment at its nadir. It is rare to hear about a dissociative identity disorder ("multiple ...
Question: What happens to a narcissist who lacks even the basic potential and skills to realise some of his grandiose fantasies? Answer: Such a narcissist resorts to deferred Narcissistic Supply which generates an effect of deferred grandiosity. He forgoes his grandiose schemes and gives up ...
Are personality disorders the outcomes of inherited traits? Are they brought on by abusive and traumatizing upbringing? Or, maybe they are the sad results of the confluence of both? To identify the role of heredity, researchers have resorted to a few tactics: they studied the occurrence of ...
Important Comment Most abusers are men. Still, some are women. We use the masculine and feminine adjectives and pronouns ('he", his", "him", "she", her") to designate both sexes: male and female as the case may be. It takes two to tango – and an equal number to sustain a long-term abusive ...
Ambient abuse is the stealth, subtle, underground currents of maltreatment that sometimes go unnoticed even by the victims themselves, until it is too late. Ambient abuse penetrates and permeates everything – but is difficult to pinpoint and identify. It is ambiguous, atmospheric, diffuse. Hence ...
Victims of abuse in all its forms – verbal, emotional, financial, physical, and sexual – are often disorientated. They require not only therapy to heal their emotional wounds, but also practical guidance and topical education. At first, the victim is, naturally, distrustful and even hostile. The ...
Your abuser "agrees" (is forced) to attend therapy. But are the sessions worth the effort? What is the success rate of various treatment modalities in modifying the abuser's conduct, let alone in "healing" or "curing" him? Is psychotherapy the panacea it is often made out to be – or a nostrum, ...
The Negativistic (Passive-Aggressive) Personality Disorder is not yet recognized by the DSM Committee. It makes its appearances in Appendix B of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, titled "Criteria Sets and Axes Provided for Further Study." Some people are perennial pessimists and have ...
The Sadistic Personality Disorder made its last appearance in the DSM III-TR and was removed from the DSM IV and from its text revision, the DSM IV-TR. Some scholars, notably Theodore Millon, regard its removal as a mistake and lobby for its reinstatement in future editions of the DSM. The ...
Abusers regularly deny the abuse ever took place – or rationalize their abusive behaviors. Denial is an integral part of the abuser's ability to "look at himself/herself in the mirror". There are many types of denial. When confronted by his victims, most abusers tend to shift blame or avoid the ...
Children and adolescents with conduct disorder are budding psychopaths. They repeatedly and deliberately (and joyfully) violate the rights of others and breach age-appropriate social norms and rules. Some of them gleefully hurt and torture people or, more frequently, animals. Others damage ...
Notes of first therapy session with Mona, female, 32, diagnosed with Dependent Personality Disorder (or Codependence) "I know I won't actually die, but it often feels like it." - says Mona and nervously pats her aubu hair - "I can't live without him, that's for sure. When he is gone, it's ...
Notes of first therapy session with Ani Korban, male, 46, diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder (AsPD), or Psychopathy and Sociopathyn Ani was referred to therapy by the court, as part of a rehabilitation program. He is serving time in prison, having been convicted of grand fraud. The ...
Most victims attempt to present to their children a "balanced" picture of the relationship and of the abusive spouse. In a vain attempt to avoid the notorious (and controversial) Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), they do not besmirch the abusive parent and, on the contrary, encourage the ...
The Five Factor Model was suggested by two researchers, Costa and McCrae, in 1989. The designers of previous factor models sifted through bulky dictionaries and came up with thousands of words to describe human nature in all its variability. Not so the inventors of the Five Factor Model. It is ...
The paranoid's world is hostile, arbitrary, malicious, and unpredictable. Consequently, he or she distrusts others and suspects them. No good deed goes unpunished. Every gesture of goodwill is surely fuelled by ulterior, self-interested and uncharitable motives. Paranoids are firmly convinced ...
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, fourth edition, text revision [American Psychiatric Association. DSM-IV-TR, Washington, 2000] - or the DSM-IV-TR for short - describes Axis II personality disorders as "deeply ingrained, maladaptive, lifelong behavior patterns". But the classificatory model ...
A voluminous literature notwithstanding, there is little convincing empirical research about the correlation between personality traits and addictive behaviors. Substance abuse and dependence (alcoholism, drug addiction) is only one form of recurrent and self-defeating pattern of misconduct. ...
The Masochistic personality disorder made its last appearance in the DSM III-TR and was removed from the DSM IV and from its text revision, the DSM IV-TR. Some scholars, notably Theodore Millon, regard its removal as a mistake and lobby for its reinstatement in future editions of the DSM. The ...
I. Introductio The dogmatic schools of psychotherapy (such as psychoanalysis, psychodynamic therapies, and behaviorism) more or less failed in ameliorating, let alone curing or healing personality disorders. Disillusioned, most therapists now adhere to one or more of three modern methods: ...
People suffering from the Avoidant Personality Disorder feel inadequate, unworthy, inferior, and lacking in self-confidence. As a result, they are shy and socially inhibited. Aware of their real (and, often, imagined) shortcomings, they are constantly on the lookout, are hypervigilant and ...
Question: Doesn't the narcissist ever feel sorry for his "victims"? Answer: The narcissist always feels "bad". He experiences all manner of depressive episodes and lesser dysphoric moods. He goes through a full panoply of mood disorders and anxiety disorders. He experiences panic from time to ...
We are born with abilities of the first order (abilities to do) and of the second order (potentials, abilities to develop abilities to do). Our environment, though, is critical to the manifestation of these abilities. It is through socialisation and comparison with others that we bring our ...
Question: Are narcissists mostly hyperactive or hypoactive sexually and to what extent are they likely to be unfaithful in marriage? Answer: Broadly speaking, there are two types of narcissists, loosely corresponding to the two categories mentioned in the question. Sex for the narcissist is ...
A Typology of Stalkers Stalkers are not made of one cloth. Some of them are psychopaths, others are schizoids, narcissists, paranoids, or an admixture of these mental health disorders. Stalkers harass their victims because they are lonely, or because it is fun (these are latent sadists), or ...
Can abusers be "reconditioned"? Can they be "educated" or "persuaded" not to abuse? As I wrote elsewhere, "Abuse is a multifaceted phenomenon. It is a poisonous cocktail of control-freakery, conforming to social and cultural norms, and latent sadism. The abuser seeks to subjugate his victims ...
How can one negotiate with an abuser without incurring his wrath? What is the meaning of contracts "signed" with bullies? How can one motivate the abuser to keep his end of the bargain – for instance, to actually seek therapy and attend the sessions? And how efficacious is psychotherapy or ...
Question: Can a narcissist ever get better and, if not, how should his partner end a relationship with him? Answer: The Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a systemic, all-pervasive condition, very much like pregnancy: either you have it or you don't. Once you have it, you have it day and ...
Question: Are Narcissists addicted to being famous? Answer: You bet. This, by far, is their predominant drive. Being famous encompasses a few important functions: it endows the narcissist with power, provides him with a constant Source of Narcissistic Supply (admiration, adoration, approval, ...
Disclaimer The Negativistic (Passive-Aggressive) Personality Disorder appears in Appendix B of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), titled "Criteria Sets and Axes Provided for Further Study." Notes of first therapy session with Mike, male, 52, diagnosed with Negativistic ...
The abuser mistreats only his closest – spouse, children, or (much more rarely) colleagues, friends, and neighbours. To the rest of the world, he appears to be a composed, rational, and functioning person. Abusers are very adept at casting a veil of secrecy – often with the active ...