Dear Dr Romance: How do you dump someone without hurting them?
Dear Dr. Romance:
Articles
Loading the searchable article library…
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Tina Tessina, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Tina Tessina, or search within this exact expert archive.
Dear Dr. Romance:
In my private counseling practice, clients often tell me, "I want to be happy!" We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how happy you are than your genes do because I've watched so many people figure out how to meet their goals and create their own happiness. You can improve any part of your life you wish: your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, your work life, your home life, and even your health.
Dr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or your pet did) or talking about the funny scene in the latest hit movie will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse and generally help you release a lot of stress.
Dear Dr. Romance:
"Miracles do happen," wrote Chaim Weizman , the first President of Israel "but one has to work very hard for them."
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance writes: Love, commitment and relationships seem to be in disfavor these days. I'm seeing a lot of articles and TV shows saying love doesn't last, so why bother. No matter what the media is saying, I believe that all of us want to be loved, and I know from experience that a relationship can work, and that a great partnership is a joy not to be missed.
We see a lot of advice to write down your goals and dreams, but does it really help? Actually, it does. For one thing, it helps you get clear on exactly what you want, and makes the goals more imaginable. They seem more real when you have thought through them clearly and written them down.
Click here for video Dear Dr. Romance: I saw your video "Don't Call Your Ex" Great video post, good advice.
Dear Dr. Romance
Dr. Romance writes: As a therapist, I have worked with many clients who had been going to a previous therapist for years, and getting nowhere. Some therapists just listen and sympathize, but will not challenge a client to move through and past trauma and stuck places. If talking to friends and family, or even your therapist, doesn’t help you move on past old traumas, let go of toxic relationships, or move through your grief and emotional pain, it’s time to get some effective therapy.
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking the loss of that love.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I read an article of yours on Divorce360 about affairs the end with a pregnancy. My husband had a one night stand three weeks ago. He told me about it. We've been going to counseling for several months and were doing great. We just found out she's pregnant. I love my husband, but can I work through this? Dear Reader:r
Q: My spouse and I often have arguments over the small stuff. How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering?
Dear Dr. Romance:
Happy New Year! This is the traditional time for making resolutions, which we all know are simple to make, but much more difficult to keep. Resolutions imply change, and making changes requires patience. It's such a valuable component of character that St. Paul considered it evidence that a person was living in faith: "...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control," he wrote to the Galatians.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance:
You're divorced and ready to look for a new love. Here are three tips to help you as you search for a new partner in life. 1. Know the difference between fooling around and building a real relationship.
Dr. Romance: tips on spring cleaning your marriage: Over an extended period of time, dust and detritus can accumulate in even the best marriage. Spring cleaning, to clear out the cobwebs and re-energize your connection, is a great idea. Just like a regular housework schedule, regular weekly talks (I call them State of the Union discussions) keep the problems minor, the resentment level down, and the communication open, so that there is time and space for intimacy.
Dear Dr. Romance: I saw your article "Guidelines for Improving the Odds to a New Relationship with your Ex" in divorce360.com
Uh-oh. You messed up, and now your boyfriend, relative or best friend is really mad at you. Do you even know why? Dr. Romance explains how to figure out what's wrong and resolve the anger. Dr. Romance’s 4 Steps: How to apologize
Dr. Romance gets a lot of letters about older women dating younger men, which appears to be shocking to some people, but I don't find it so unusual.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance’s 3 tips to finding true love:
Dear Dr. Romance:
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
Dear Dr. Romance: I found your article about women dating younger men. So, here I'm in a middle of a crisis... hope you can read it and hope you can give some advise. I'm 30, with a promising carreer and a stable job.
Dear Dr. Romance: I am a bipolar woman with emotional problems. These problems seem to manifest most lately with my boyfriend whom I tend to blame for everything. I feel super insecure when we are out and he notices other women. He taught me a lot about sexuality and commented constantly about other females and tried to entice me into threesomes, or at least get me interested in having one.
In this tougher economy, couples are finding it necessary to take the jobs they can get, and that means more couples work different shifts. If one of you works a “graveyard shift” or rotating shift job that limits your time together; the difference in your shifts and commutes may mean you actually get to spend very little waking time together.
Dear Dr. Romance: I knew a girl for a long time and had a huge crush on her. I'm in my twenties, and she is a year younger than me. I am a very shy person and would freeze up whenever I tried to tell her. We knew each other for more than a year and were good friends, so I told her, trying not to appear creepy and such. Luckily, she wanted more than friendship and we briefly dated (maybe a month), until she told me that she "didn't want to go out with with anyone".
Dr. Romance writes: I have blogged before about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want to?
Dr. Romance writes: A couple of years ago, I had some difficult dental work. It was very painful, and while I recovered physically pretty quickly, I had some post -traumatic stress reactions – bad dreams, flashbacks, and upset – after my recovery. I had to acknowledge my upset and feelings, and let them out before the stress reactions subsided. I often help my clients do this, too, not only with PTSD from shocking or painful experiences, but also with grief and old memories.
Dr. Romance: It is not necessary to argue about parenting your kids. Couples usually argue about how their parents raised them, and they want to do the same (or the opposite) of what their parents did. How Not to Pass Your Family Dysfunction on to your kids:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I saw your website and decided to write you via e-mail. The reason being is that my love for the past three years has left me and I now am trying to afford the house and dogs and everything else we bought together with one income.
Dear Dr. Romance:
(To see the accompanying video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVCxndtpt0s) Often, the same quirks, reactions and behaviors that create problems between you and the female members of your famiy wouldn't be a problem if they was someone else's family. If your best friend's mom or sister did the same thing, you'd probably let it go, gloss over it and focus on what you like about her. The same techniques will work with your own sisters and mom. Try pretending they're someone else's family and see if that puts things is perspective.
Relationships: 3 Tips to Know when to Get Out of your Marriage and File For Divorce As a counselor, I’ve helped lots of couples solve difficult relationship problems, but it isn’t always possible. Here are three reasons to know it’s time to let it go: 1. Your partner keeps going out of bounds.
Dear Dr. Romance: I hope you can help me. My boyfriend passed away two years back... We were pretty much engaged, living together and everything. I thought i was over the whole thing, but now I know I'm not. A month back, or so.. i was seeing a man, and today i found out he had passed away. He reminded me so much of my late, they shared the same name, just second name being different. In the grieving process, I'm feeling the loss of both. And my late especially.
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
Dear Dr. Romance: I ran across the post from the man who was being "patient" with the wounded woman who kept projecting her thought and blowing him off. I thought it was so close to my situation, it blew me away.
Dear Dr. Romance: I need your advice. My ex and I broke up a while ago but still talked everyday. Anyways, long story short, I decided I can't talk to him anymore because we both need to change and find out who we are and learn to treat each other better.