Dear Dr. Romance: My ex is violent, abusive and obsessed with me
Dear Dr. Romance:
Primary topic: Relationship Advice
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Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance, I love reading your articles here and on Divine Caroline, and I always look forward to the new ones. I have a long time online friend. We have been friends for about three-four years, and I even felt I was in love with him for a while - and told him so. He said he wasn't over his ex yet, so I dropped it.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Fighting a lot? Dr. Romance recommends:
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a 23 year old single mother and believe me when I say my life has been crazy and very rough. I have no relationship with the father of my child. He's pretty much abandoned our four yearl old son after his 1st birthday. He doesn't help out, and blames everything on me, so I don't even speak with him anymore.
Dear Dr. Romance: I am writing this letter to you because I really want to know what is the right love to last a lifetime? I am frustrated right now. How couples especially married, last love into lifetime? I am in love with someone, but I don't know if that person feels the same way too. But in some way or in somehow, I know she feels in a small amount of love for me. How to love right? God is loving right, must we follow that? Dear Reader:
Frequently I help my clients work through problems with their grown children. Sometimes, an offspring is angry about something, and the parent is at a loss for what is wrong or what to do about it. These struggles often have their seeds in things that happened long ago, when the child was young. Even parents who love their children and try to do the right thing can make mistakes, and some parents let their issues—struggles with spouses, stresses of single parenting, fears about money or social disapproval—skew their child-related decisions.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I was reading your article "When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships" and need your advice. My boyfriend of 5 years is quite selfish and literally a narcissist. He never did anything as a gesture of love except for buying calling cards to call me from overseas. We fought numerous times and patched up. Now we are planning to get married this year. He will be coming to my place as I have a stable job.
In romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real inca ation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid's dart and you can readily believe that love will never work for you.
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm still having a bit of trouble letting go and cutting off communication with a guy who mistreats me. I understand in my head that this is not right, but I can't seem to get it emotionally. Yesterday was his birthday and particularly difficult to not reply despite his angry words or cursing. Is there any advice you can offer or perhaps additional reading? I'm trying to cement that he is a predator as you said but still rationalize the good aspects of him.
Want to be powerful in your relationships? Learn emotional self-control. Learning to take charge of your emotions means you can't be "set off" by someone else. You control your reactions, they don't control you. When you're too reactive to your partner, he or she can easily draw you into a fight that stops you both from focusing on fixing the problem.
Dear Dr. Romance: I am a university student majoring in English Translation in a Mid Eastern country. I find it difficult to attract other people's attention and it makes friendship nearly impossible. I love loneliness in a way that most of my friends don't approve. I feel happy sometimes but suddenly I do not like to be with anybody, even my close friends or loved ones. I just want to be alone.
If you're thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. • If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably not survive. • If you've done it before, and you know you can keep your feelings in check, you might be successful, but what about your friend? Are you sure he or she is aware of his or her own feelings and motives?
Relationships: Tips to Recognize if your Partner is Emotionally Abusive Ever look around at who stays married, and who doesn't? Overweight people far outnumber the thin and beautiful in successful marriages. The svelte and attractive get far more dates, but don't seem as able to close the deal. Perhaps it's because the thicker daters aren't as narcissistic, or maybe they just settle for less.
As life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues—our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and accomplishments. As you mature, you can focus on living the life you always wanted to live, tempered by the wisdom you have gained through your experiences.
Dear Dr. Romance, I would like your advice in my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been living together for a year and a half and known each other for 3 years. He calls me names and puts me down when i try to communicate with him and every time i want to break it off he tells me we should try again but it seems to be going in a circle. Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance: I started dating a man 2 years younger than me, who is from another country. I thought he was very sweet and gentlemanly and of course I'm really attracted to him, and he eventually asked me on a date. We've had several dates, and he's very considerate, very discreet at work, pays for everything, drives me, walks me to my door, opens doors for me. He isn't shy about holding hands in public with a black girl.
Dear Dr. Romance: Just read a fine article of your from a link off the internet, and was wondering your best recommendation of the books you've wrote for jealousy and suspicious minds in a marriage with no real proof? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance:
To watch video, click here Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these reasons to stay:
Dear Dr. Romance For many many years, i have been the income earner for our 4 kids and my wife while she was home raising the kids. Day in day out I was working sometimes three jobs. I got into a career that took 10-15 hrs per day for the first three years - the money was great and I thought everything was going awesome especially since everyone was enjoying spending my money on lavish things.
Dear Dr. Romance: I am a retired police officer who found his wife sneaking around with another man 3 years ago. We have 3 kids. I cook and clean and up all night doing laundry 3 to 4 nights a week. I work two jobs to support my kids and family. I love my wife and forgave her with what happened 3 years ago, but she never forgave me for tracking her down to that guys house that very dark day when she was supposed to be working.
Dear Dr. Romance: I am married 19 years and my husband and I have two children. We have a good marriage in so many ways yet we continuously cycle to a low point every couple of months primarily due to my change in mood and feelings about the relationship. A bad case of ambivalence on my part. We recently had a nice break from one another with my travel for work. We decided to let go of the past negatives we know about one another and our relationship and start fresh. I really like this idea.
Dear Dr. Romance: A lot has happened in recent weeks that has wreaked havoc on my life. A friend of twenty years, Told me he did not consider me a real friend, although I've been spending many hours helping him with gaming for years.
Dear Dr. Romance: I have had baby with this girl and we are planning to marry this year. Just last we were talking about things we do not like and the things that we like. I said she was unfaithful before we had the baby and she said that not true but that she was lesbian was sleeping With this lady she had started this with when she was in junior school.
At the end of a client-packed day, the trash can in my office is often overflowing with used tissues. Richard, seeing this, usually comments; "Good day, huh?" and we both laugh. He knows that, when clients cry, they're usually breaking through and healing something. I've been known to joke with clients that I'd like to create a "crying spa:" a gorgeous resort with boxes of the finest tissues everywhere, even towels, which are great for a really good cry.
Dear Dr. Romance: I need some of your advice. You're the only one I could think of who would give me a sensible answer. Well, this situation might seem easy when viewed from the outside, but going through it myself really created stress for me. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN FAMILY AND LOVE. FOR ANY REASON!
How Your Work Skills Can Help Save Your Marriage If you and your partner tend to think the business end of a relationship is not a romantic topic for courtship, you may not discuss it until you can’t avoid it, and then you fight. You may not think of your marriage as a business deal, but a huge part of it is just that.
Dear Dr. Romance: I knew a girl for a long time and had a huge crush on her. I'm in my twenties, and she is a year younger than me. I am a very shy person and would freeze up whenever I tried to tell her. We knew each other for more than a year and were good friends, so I told her, trying not to appear creepy and such. Luckily, she wanted more than friendship and we briefly dated (maybe a month), until she told me that she "didn't want to go out with with anyone".
Dear Dr. Romance: I am a 49 year old disabed vet, chest injury in pain 24/7. I am on MAJOR pain pills. Have not had sex with wife since one day I pulled her pants down and found a river of a substance that looked like human ejaculate but smelt like beer. Six months later she said it was a female discharge, I have checked with three nurses all have said it had to be ejaculate.
Dear Dr. Romance: I just found your article "Without Ego" Omg you are just who I've been looking for. For the past two years I've been reading articles about dissolving the ego and all this hubbub. For those two years I was told that I have an ego that is all about self, cannot exist with love, is self draining, and only thinks about itself, and it was inside me!!!
Dear Dr. Romance: I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 almost 6 months now. We hit it off from the very beginning and fell in love a couple months into the relationship. Both of us are independent people and level headed, but there's a deep connection between the two of us and the relationship was going GREAT until recently. She even brought up moving in together this summer and I was all for it.
Recently, I went through very unpleasant and difficult dental work, and the outpouring of kindness I receivedfrom my husband, who held onto my ankle all through the two and a half hours (and had nightmares that night about it) to my dear friends, who offered me support and encouragement to heal and take care of myselfmade me feel blessed, despite the pain. I don't think there's a greater happiness in life than knowing the people who love you are there for you.
In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the problem and healing the hurt. People with such experiences approach every situation as if they're on trial, and they compulsively try to convince everyone they're not guilty. They have no patterns to follow for apology and forgiveness.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm hoping you can offer some advice. I recently fell in love with a guy going through a divorce. We weren't together for ages but I feel like it was. He was separated About 10 months when we started dating and he had confessed to having a crush on me for a really long time.
Dear Dr. Romance: I am single man, I have question for you, is it natural for a man to masturbate? I normally, do it everyday, sometimes 4 times a day. Tell me if its wrong or normal to fantasize my cousin and she is a woman? Is it that wrong thing to do? I love to masturbate and to me its fun and great feeling. Do you have any advice. I want to know if there is anything wrong with me. I need your help. Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance: Please could you give me some guidance on how to become a psychotherapist.
No matter how angry or hurt you may be after a divorce, if you have children, you’ll still share a lifetime with their other parent, your ex. Dr. Romance offers guidelines for moving past the anger and hurt, and finding a way to co-parent your children that is good for everyone.
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm in my forties, divorced, and debt free. I have a great credit score. My favorite hobby is Amateur Radio. Other hobbies are listening to shortwave radio programs and studying maps. The down side is that I'm currently a truckdriver. Naturally, everyone thinks that ALL truckdrivers are perverts. Wrong answer! Are all female bosses yuppies or control freaks?
Kindness is the lubrication for life, love and relationships. When you spread kindness, it comes back in many ways, and it’s the foundation of happiness. "Dr. Romance" shows how kindness works and why it’s important to learn to live kindly, even in today’s cynical age. Dr. Romance on spreading kindness Spreading kindness is the best way I know to be happy. If you want to spread kindness around, here are some ideas:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I am a youthful and attractive woman, mid-fifties, who is so confused about online and ads for meeting men. I have been wounded by these men who, after some meetings with them and being promised by THEM that they want to take me for dinner within a few days, they set the time etc. and then BOOM, never do I hear from them again. also, even before meeting them, just via the phone, they ask me how thi I am, what my pension is, if I will have one and the like.
Dear Dr. Romance: I have been married to my wife for 19 years and I have ask her to tell me her fantasies for along time, she says she has none, Is this possible? She always wants oral sex buts never gives any back, Do you have anything I could try to open her up to new things? Dear Reader:
OK, guys, you're (gulp) ready to pop the big question. But you've seen those videos of lavish proposals that went wrong. How do you ask her in a way that's got an excellent chance of getting a happy "yes!" in response? Here's how to set yourself up for success and a lifetime of happiness. Dr. Romance on how to propose