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Browse every published article connected to Tina Tessina, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
Articles
Browse every published article connected to Tina Tessina, or search within this exact expert archive.
So many couples are now separated part- or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, "'til death do us part" but no one said anything about what happens when a military career or traveling job makes it necessary for you to part, and you want to maintain the closeness in your relationship.
Dear Dr. Romance: I saw you on the web and thought I would ask you about my attraction to my plastic surgeon. I am almost 50, and have been having procedures done for 6 months now. He is my age and married with 2 school-age children and a younger wife. I have very strong feelings for him and NO, it is not transference. I have felt that before while in therapy and this is different.
No one likes to be criticized, fairly or not. It's always difficult to deal with, and it can hurt. Because I'm a writer of books and columns, and because I've lectured, appeared on radio and TV, I am sometimes recognized in public. I'm glad I'm not more recognizable, for along with the lovely feedback, gratitude and complements I get from many people, others feel compelled to criticize, often in a mean way, and often without having even read whatever book or column they're criticizing.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: Just read a fine article of yours from a link off the internet, and was wondering your best recommendation of the books you've wrote for jealousy and suspicious minds in a marriage with no real proof? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance: I told my husband that if he cannot be with me as his wife and does not give me the place that a wife should have that I wanted to go on with my life and file the papers. He stopped seeing the other woman for a weekend. Then, on the Thursday that followed, he called me during lunch (in front of her ) to tell me that his heart was someplace else and that we should file the papers.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance writes: What do you do after you have tried everything and your partner, friend, child or colleague still won't negotiate?
Have you noticed that nagging, whining, complaining, ste ly directing, yelling, criticizing and freaking out don’t seem to get you what you want from a partner, family member, friend, colleague or child? In a previous article, "Asking for What You Want," I explained how to ask cleanly and directly for what you want, and that being direct has a better success rate. While that’s true, it isn’t infallible. Sometimes, it’s necessary to use a technique I call "gentle persistence."
Richard and I just indulged in our favorite December tradition—we watched our favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge! the musical starring Albert Finney) which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year. No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a celebratory time of year. For some it's a joy, for others a nightmare, and pressure to spend too much, eat too much, and socialize in ways you don't like. If your Holiday expectations are out of line with what you can really accomplish, you'll be stressed.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: After experiencing alot of physical and emotional abuse in my life, my last relationship was very damaging emotionally and physically. Now, many years later, I haven't had a serious relationship or even a date since. I've had two opportunities this year, but one wanted to be friends,the other is working on overcoming his addiction,and has been successful for several years.
If You're In A Sexless Marriage, You Need These Tips Now
Dr. Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these reasons to stay:
Dr. Romance asks: Are you a single mom? Wondering whether you're too old to be back on the market? Well, wonder no more. Watch the video on YourTango.com Dating Advice Every Single Mom Should Know
Dr. Romance is aware that there is a heavy emphasis on youth in today's culture. Companies and individuals want to sell you potions, clothing, makeup, diets, exercise and attitudes and other magic to help you stay young. But, scientific research shows that these things rarely make a significant difference.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Happy New Year! May you be filled with renewed energy for life, and the wisdom to put it to effective use. The month of January is named after the Roman god Janusthe god of beginnings and transitions. If you have seen depictions of him, you know he had two faces which looked both backward and forward. Thus, the transition month of the year bears his name.
Dear Dr. Romance: I am a 51 year old divorced Mom who recently began seeing someone. I like him and want to pursue this relationship, but I don't want to keep making the same mistakes! Some people say "be yourself" other say "don't do too much too soon, keep him wondering"...and I am CONFUSED!
Dear Dr Romance
Dr. Romance writes: If you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. *If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably not survive.
Dear Dr. Romance: My girlfriend does not like phone sex. When ever I bring up the topic, she is always mad at me. I don't know; maybe it's the way her ex treated her. Please help. Dear Reader:
When life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. Needless to say, I was devastated; and I also survived and eventually, thrived. But little orphan girl doesn't remember that I made it through she sinks into despair.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance,
Dear Dr. Romance
Although most people in the country wouldn't agree, we in Southern Califo ia have been having extreme weather conditions for us: rain and mudslides. You could almost say we're so used to mild conditions that we become afraid of what others would call "real" weatherweather wimps.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Although you might think of "falling in love" as romantic; we all fall in love many times in life: with a new lover, a new friend, a particularly cooperative co-worker, an appealing movie or TV star, a caring neighbor, siblings, relatives and even pets. Any close relationship involves falling in love at least a little bit, and it's these connections that make life pleasurable.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance writes:
Why do relationship counselors, speakers and authors say repeatedly that your relationship depends on how well you communicate with each other? Because marriage is a partnership and to create teamwork, you need to keep each other informed, and keep yourself aware of your partner’s ideas, wants and reactions. We all know a lot these days about the techniques of communication, but I find that many of my clients don’t understand the necessary attitudes to create domestic happiness. The following guidelines are adapted from my two newest books, coming out in 2008. The Sweetness Factorr
Dear Dr. Romance I'm in my seventies, and he is 25 years younger.we met on a senior dating site almost two years ago, and have been living together for over a year. He and my daughter went to the same high school, and he says he was attracted to me then and always compared his other relationships to me.
Dear Dr. Romance:
You're divorced, but you still see your ex. How do you handle it? Here are three tips to help. 1. Treat your ex as politely as you treat your friends or co-workers. Don’t be as familiar as you used to be. A little less familiarity will generate a little more respect. Say “Hello”, “Goodbye”, “Please” and “Thank You” – those magic words work as well for you as they do for your children. He’s extended family now, and as with extended family, you don’t have to like him, you just have to get along. 2. Stop blaming your ex for whatever went wrong.
Dear Dr. Romance: Last year, my boyfriend he broke up with me 3 days before my birthday. On the actual day, he didn't even so much as text or call to wish me a happy birthday - or even send me a card. I was devastated, esp because I really made a big deal of his birthday last year - bought him a very expensive cake, made him dinner, got him a thoughtful gift and card, etc.
Many years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I've tried to live by it Outwitted by Edwin Markham He drew a circle that shut me out Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in!
Dr. Romance wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving!
Dear Dr. Romance I am writing to you for your professional opinion regarding my teenage son. His behavior overall is good but when he gets angry he throws things swears a lot and just a few minutes ago destroyed my vacuum cleaner in one blow to the floor. I am a single parent about 9 months out of the year and my son is for the most part a big help to me. I have one daughter also who is two years younger.
Dear Dr. Romance, I am a PhD student in Computer Science and Mathematics in Europe. I am interested in your blog which helps to a lot of people to find the best solution in their lives. I have also some problems in my private life. I would be very grateful if you could give me some advice.
Dr. Romance's 3 Tips for Finding New Love
Dr. Romance writes:
Knowing how to set appropriate boundaries can make the difference in whether or not your relationship succeeds. The topic frequently comes up in my counseling office, and most people think boundaries are set by telling other people what the limits are. But boundaries are really something you must create within yourself. Having the confidence to say “no” to another is one important aspect of creating boundaries; but it begins by knowing what you do and don’t want. The Tennis Match -- Setting Boundaries and Taking Space
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a single mom, of a teenage son. I was never married to his dad (if you want to call him that). I have the hardest time finding a relationship cuz I am on SS income and I am judged by that. I am a loving person, the good guys want a woman that works or is very active. I'm not able to do either. So how can I find a good man to love me for me? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a high school assistant and I fell in love with mother of one of my students. She doesn't know anything about and has some difficulty with her son's wife. I told her I want to help you to sort out your problem, but I have no idea how to help her and how about my love how do I forget it that she is married and I am single. Dear Reader:
I was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who's been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a box about work. The box consisted of four walls: Wall #1: I have to make $$$$ amount of money Wall #2: I have to work for a certain kind of company Wall #3: I'm scared about letting myself be creative (the unknown) Wall #4: I hate all of it.
Dr. Romance's fellow blogger, the delightful Melanie Waldman of Travels with two, writes: Back in the late ‘90s, my then-boyfriend and I were in our late 20s and had been living together for about four years. I’d just recently realized that we were in a negative pattern, and had begun to wonder about the shape of our future. The gist of our struggle was financial. We’d moved in together after a short, helpful talk about the division of chores, but had never discussed how we’d handle our joint finances.