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ARTArticleAspects of LoveAh, love! What rapturous, torturous words have been set down to try and capture the essence of love. Those clever Greeks, who invented the Olympics, also invented many names for love—Cupid, Eros, Venus, Aphrodite—and each name represented an aspect of love. The ancient Greeks had several words for several categories of love—they did not attempt to squeeze all of it into four little letters! Eros was erotic, or sexual love; Philos was brotherly love; Agape was altruistic, spiritual love. The Latin poet Ovid spoke of amor ludens, or playful love—love as a game.ARTArticleAttitude AdjustmentI have written in this column recently about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can "wash" your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want to?ARTArticleAttitude: From Negative to GratitudeDespite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I'm grateful. It wasn't always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a PhD, and developing four businesses to do that. I also recovered from an abusive marriage, and now have been happily married for 23 years, and in successful private practice since 1978.ARTArticleAttract Love By Being In Love With You“For all ete ity you will be with you. There is no escaping your Self.”rn~ Jacob Glass If there were ever a reason to make the effort to love and appreciate who you are, this would be it. Just imagine you’ll be keeping yourself company for all time — so you better find a way to enjoy who you are. There are many benefits to loving yourself – one is having that love to give in a relationship. As they say, “You can’t give what you don’t have.”ARTArticleAutonomy vs DependencySelf-determination and self-respect are the necessary keys to take full responsibility for and control over your own life. Without these keys, it's easy to be caught up in the fantasy that there is someone else who will make it better, who can or should take total care of you, who is able to be responsible for you more effectively than you can yourself.ARTArticleBaby Boomer? Getting Divorced?Two Must Know Tips If You're A Boomer Facing Divorce Divorce is a shock to anyone, but especially older marrieds, who may have been together for a long time. You are likely to be in shock for quite a while, feel numb and lost, and then have delayed grief. Here are two tips to help if you're a Baby Boomer or beyond and you're getting divorced after a long marriage. 1. Get emotional support.r ARTArticleBet You Don't Know How To ApologizeThere Are Four Steps. Are You Doing All Of Them? Are you and your partner having a tough time getting over an argument? Here are some tips to help. 1. Surrender to your responsibility. When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it and apologize. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You don’t have to be afraid of punishment or rejection –- apologizing makes it easier to be forgiven. 2. Don’t be afraid to admit you're wrong.ARTArticleBetter Intimacy, Better SexAs a counselor, I get a lot of clients who are worried about intimacy and sex. Romance books are a lovely escape from reality, and can help reduce your stress from daily frustrations. And, you can even learn a few tricks to enhance your relationship. The danger comes in if you begin to believe in the fantasy, compare your real-life partner to a fictional character, and become dissatisfied and feel unfulfilled. One of the attractive things about romance heroes is that they do all the work, but in a real-life rela ARTArticleBeware: An Internet Dating Horror StoryI feel compelled to write this warning to all you wonderful women who have been reading my blog for the last 3 years. I want to tell you about my newest client and give you a heads-up if you’re Internet dating. Marcie is 52 years old and a highly accomplished woman. She’s recently divorced from a long marriage and has a beautiful 24-year-old daughter. She’s a world traveler and has spent much of her life helping women to find their authentic voice and their true-life path.ARTArticleBOO! WHO'S SCARING YOU? (HALLOWE'EN OR ANY OTHER TIME)Are you tricking or treating yourself? What kinds of things do you say to yourself throughout the day? Are they loving or hurtful? Do they motivate and encourage or paralyze and frighten you? And what about those things that others say to you? How do you interpret them? So often we put a dark mental filter over something that's been said, without checking our interpretation out with that person, or ourselves.ARTArticleBook Excerpt: The Waltz of LoveHere is an excerpt from the book I think you might enjoy, that time in your life when you finally meet that one person who captures your attention like no other. The waltz of love: One of the most incredible experiences in life Then you meet him or her. What an emotionally exciting time, probably one of the most wonderful times in your life. When you eventually fall in love with the person who you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with you actually develop an unconscious emotional attraction to that person called love.ARTArticleBook Review - Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of LoveAre you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and companionship. But sometimes we need a little help. Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and “the best couple therapist in the world,” according to bestselling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman.ARTArticleBroken Heart Advice: Coping Tips When You Just Can't Let GoBreaking up or getting a divorce might have been your idea. It could be that you, your partner or both of you were caught in destructive behaviors that could only be stopped by ending your relationship. Maybe there was abuse of some kind involved. Or perhaps the troubles in your relationship were less overtly damaging, but they seemed unresolvable and the dynamics were making you both miserable and unhappy. As much as you know, deep down, that ending your relationship and moving on with your life was the “best” decision, your heart might feel broken.ARTArticleBroken Heart and Infidelity Advice: “I didn't realize that I was the 'other woman'”A breakup can be excruciating to go through. The end of your relationship can evoke feelings of loss, grief, sadness and anger. In these moments of pain, it might seem that you will never be as happy again. You may wonder if you'll ever have another love like this. Patti feels this way. Since her breakup with John, she's been unable to sleep well, she cries easily and often and she can't remember the last time that she laughed. She misses John even though she understands why they had to end their relationship.ARTArticleBut My Parents Divorced...Will I?3 Must Do's If You Want To Break The Cycle If you're the adult child of a divorce or simply trying to improve your marriage, here are three tips to help you cultivate a good relationship with your partner. 1. Weekly State of the Union discussion.ARTArticleCan You Really Find Love The 2nd Time Around?If You're Searching And Can't Find Love, Try This Probably the most prevalent questio I'm asked in my counseling practice is “Where is love?” Clients want to know why they can't find a successful life partnership, why a friend or family member won't respond as they would like, even why they don't love themselves.ARTArticleCaring Citizens Deserve CreditI read with great interest the article "Despair is up — so why isn't crime?" (Dec.ARTArticleCaring For Parents = Divorce?7 Tips To Keep Your Marriage On Track When Helping Family Members If your parents are elderly and becoming infirm, or if there are others who require special care in your family, due to disability or illness the situation you will need to figure out how to maintain a balance between your marital life and this often taxing situation. If you have a large family, the burden of care is often lightened by sharing the responsibilities, but if you are an only child, the problem may be more difficult to resolve.ARTArticleChange your thoughts, let go of painful experiences to change your life“THE HUNGER FOR LOVE IS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE THATN THE HUNGER FOR BREAD’ - Mother Theresa. We all want to be loved and someone to love. We want to connect with people or groups that make us feel wanted, adding meaning to our existence helping us feel a sense of significance. Ultimately at the end of our days the only things that matter are:- ‘that we truly lived, we loved, and lived as though our lives mattered.” Yet most people go through their days and spend many years feeling unloved, unwanted and unseen. UNLOVING PAST EXPERIENCES AFFECTS OUR TODAY ARTArticleComforting the Little Orphan GirlWhen life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. Needless to say, I was devastated; and I also survived and eventually, thrived. But little orphan girl doesn't remember that I made it through she sinks into despair.ARTArticleCommon Problems with Online DatingFinding that special someone is something that most people dream about. Unfortunately doing that is not as easy as it sounds. Everyone has advice for you as to how you should go about finding that potential soul mate. However, no method is fool proof. In fact, due to dating desperation many people have turned to online dating as a relationship resource. The truth is that when online dating first came about there was quite a bit of stigma surrounding it.ARTArticleCoping with CriticsNo one likes to be criticized, fairly or not. It's always difficult to deal with, and it can hurt. Because I'm a writer of books and columns, and because I've lectured, appeared on radio and TV, I am sometimes recognized in public. I'm glad I'm not more recognizable, for along with the lovely feedback, gratitude and complements I get from many people, others feel compelled to criticize, often in a mean way, and often without having even read whatever book or column they're criticizing.ARTArticleCould He/She Be A Control Freak?3 ways to Stay Sane and Stay Married Is your spouse a control freak? It is driving you to distraction? Here are three tips to keep your relationship on track, keep you sane and stop you from going to divorce court. 1. Control freaks can be very successful. If yours is, give credit where credit is due. Don’t worry about your spouse’s controlling tendencies. Just don’t be controlled by them. If your spouse can have a sense of humor about it, then your marriage will be fine. If the control escalates into abuse, you need to get to counseling, fast.ARTArticleCreating Connections: Draw Them InMany years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I've tried to live by it Outwitted by Edwin Markham He drew a circle that shut me out Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in!ARTArticleCreating Family AcceptanceLately, I've gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don't like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month.ARTArticleCreating Holiday MagicRecently, as we were eating in an Italian restaurant, the music being played transported me back to holidays with my Italian/American family. Traditional, sentimental Italian songs were such a large part of our gatherings for the holidays. After a huge, slow, multi-course dinner, Uncle Tommy would get up and go to the piano, and just start playing.ARTArticleCreating Holiday MagicRecently, as we were eating in an Italian restaurant, the music being played transported me back to holidays with my Italian/American family. Traditional, sentimental Italian songs were such a large part of our gatherings for the holidays. After a huge, slow, multi-course dinner, Uncle Tommy would get up and go to the piano, and just start playing.ARTArticleDear D. Romance: I've learned my lessonClick here for video Dear Dr. Romance: I saw your video "Don't Call Your Ex" Great video post, good advice.ARTArticleDear Dr Romance: he said I was expecting too much from this relationshipDear Dr.Romance:ARTArticleDear Dr. Romance: Although I had to let go, I still care a lot.Dear Dr. Romance Your articles are very helpful to me. Can you tell me what book of yours can help me heal from my last relatioship. The pain is still there and although I am sure I had to let go, I still care a lot. Dear Reader:

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