Dr. Barbara Cunningham, MFT

HELPING INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES THRIVE-NOT JUST SURVIVE!

As a licensed marriage and family therapist with a doctorate in psychology, I specialize in couples therapy as well as separation or divorce therapy. I am expert in helping marriages and individuals thrive, not merely survive! By understanding yesterday, people can be empowered to gain more fulfillment in the present and realize dreams into the future.

Do you find yourself easily annoyed by your partner or feel like he/she just does not appreciate you? Have you stopped dating and wonder what happened to the passion you felt when you first got together? Now that the kids have left and you have an "empty nest," do you look at your partner and wonder how you lost each other along the way? Do you worry about the effects separation and divorce might have on your children?

Do you ask yourself:

• Why can't he see that I am exhausted and need help with the kids tonight?
• Why do I have to point it out and ask him to do it?
• Why do I feel like I am on a rollercoaster?
• Why do I always feel as if I have to tiptoe around my partner?
• Doesn't he "get it?"--I do everything around here. I am just too exhausted to have sex tonight!
  • • • OR...
• Why is it such a big deal that I want to go out with the guys?
• Why do we always have to be together?
• Can't she understand that we need to save money for retirement instead of always living "in the moment?"
• Why is she always turning me away and rejecting me when I want sex?
• If she doesn't stop nagging me, I'm gone!

While these problems may seem like minor annoyances or fleeting conflicts, they can, over time, grow into divisive issues that lead you to drift further apart. Couples therapy can assist you with:

• Sorting out confusing feelings
• Improving your ability to hold on to yourself while still remaining connected
• Improving communication
• Increasing your ability to remain calm enough to apply your best thinking during an argument
• Increasing intimacy and understanding
• Decreasing anxiety
• Improving your sex life
• Enjoying being together and apart

Perhaps you feel such deep anger and resentment toward your partner for past hurts that you believe your marriage can never heal. Perhaps it has gotten to the point that you feel so dissatisfied with your relationship that you are contemplating divorce. I have the tools, insight, and training to help you move onto a more satisfying path. Divorce therapy can assist you with:

• Keeping your relationship from becoming so toxic so as to scar your children
• Positive co-parenting
• Personal growth and transformation
• Keeping a clear head in order to make good decisions
• Moving forward with your life goals and precious dreams

Why continue to drown in an unhappy relationship? Now is the time to learn how to manage your life, discuss sensitive topics positively, and begin to build the relationships that you want. You have the right to enjoy fulfilling and happy relationships. You have the right to thrive instead of merely survive!

As a clinician with training at the doctoral level, I have assisted married and divorcing couples, families and individuals for years. I address numerous conce s, including marital problems, family conflict, parent issues, depression, anxiety, grief and loss, substance abuse, and aging issues such as empty nest adjustment, to name a few.

In working with couples, I believe that two strong "I's" make the strongest possible "we." Because I am a systems therapist, I also believe that it is possible to do couples therapy with only one partner. In systems thinking, if there is a change in one person, the relationship will be impacted and change as well. Thus, if one partner is resistant to couples therapy or therapy that moves a divorcing couple toward an amicable conclusion, the other partner may still positively impact the relationship by doing individual work.

I bring with me rich life experience and clients have often noted my warm, nurturing style of practice. I am easy to talk to, supportive, and not judgmental. While working toward change is serious business, humor has its place in my sessions as well. I bring a wealth of knowledge I have acquired through my doctoral studies, teaching, and life experience. I am a firm believe in the notion that we are always "becoming," and that adversity offers all of us the opportunity to become stronger, not in spite of the adversity, but because of it!

My experience includes being an adjunct professor at a highly accredited graduate school, teaching such classes as aging well, spiritual development in aging, parent-child therapy techniques, and theories of marriage and family therapy. My doctoral research focused on grief and loss, and my dissertation was a case study of the effective, resiliency-based treatment I developed for family survivors of homicide and other violent losses. Additionally, I recently completed a chapter for a graduate level textbook detailing an effective treatment for families suffering with substance abuse in one or more members.

In summary, my training, compassion, life experience, and insight offer clients a unique opportunity to transcend current problems in the service of their own growth and developing maturity. I am happy to offer a free telephone consultation to help you decide whether this therapy may be a fit for you. You can create change in your life and overcome difficult, even seemingly overwhelming obstacles. Remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but one of true courage. I want to help you to thrive, not just survive. Call me now as a first step toward taking back your life!