Jill Darcey
Author, Parent, Founder & Speaker
Free
Complex Family Expert, Author, Parent, Founder & Speaker Expert
Jill Darcey Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Parenting Beyond Separation, Split Family Parenting, Parenting with an Ex
- Best Sellers
- Parenting with the Ex Factor
- Career Focus
- Author, Parent, Founder, Business Owner, Speaker
- Affiliation
- Complex Family Foundation
Jill Darcey (Author, Parent, Founder & Speaker), a mother of three; thousands of hours in counseling and coaching; and more than a decade of Complex Family parenting (ie. a family touched by separation, divorce or some form of family breakdown). Jill has both experience and wisdom; she's learned a lot of what does and doesn't work - and some of it the hard way!
In Jill's book, 'Parenting with the Ex Factor', she works to inspire divorced parents to 'stop drinking poison' and start constructively building the new parenting model. Jill is also the founder of Complex Family Foundation, an organization providing books, eBooks, eBooklets, seminars, workshops, facilitation, forums, and free membership to a community of supportive like-minded separated parents.
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Jill Darcey Books
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
Working out Shared-Parenting Routine Biggies
Many questions have been coming in about the biggies. So what are the biggies? It's the problems that people are having with their Ex's over issues like geographical differences. The emotional differences between the two houses and what you're meant to do about it. And, of course, money ... there always has to be money! I've decided to work on answering as much of this as practical in this email, without making it so huge, you'll switch off anyway. First up, let's look at two geographical questions that I've received:
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Beyond Split & Broken - Complex Instead
Statistically, the effects of divorce on our society are difficult to prove although there are figures bandied around. What we do know is that some people go on and have far better lives and some don't. For majority however, we can say divorce carved its mark on our life and we live with it for the rest of our days - for better or worse.
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Do I have to share my kids with my Ex?
Why do you want to spend less time with your children when growing up happens so quickly these days? Don't you look back on how many years have gone already and wonder how it's passed so fast?! And to think you've got to spend less time with your children because your Ex wants them, is gut-wrenching to most of us. Divorce hurts - it hurts us in different ways, but it hurts us all the same!
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Co-Parenting weekend off? My House is Quiet ... Too Quiet!
Do you dream of the moment when you can have a bath undisturbed, or go out somewhere (anywhere, you're not fussy!) without taking an hour to get everyone into the car? That time has come ... you've got a weekend to yourself and ... Instead, you can't decide what to do! You want to make the most of it because, WOW, you don't get these so it's more important you make great choices now than ever! You've waited so long for free time, you're not even sure what to do with free time now...
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To speak ill of your Ex with your child says "I love you, but biologically you're 50% a jerk!"
Speaking poorly of your child's other parent is one of the largest issues overlooked by co-parents - and yet it is one of the easiest for you to resolve. The reasons (or should I say excuses) that it is acceptable to slag off about your Ex to your children are numerous and yet the confusion that it causes in their life is immeasurable.
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Shared Parenting? How to handle your Handovers - Drop Offs & Pick Ups
If you dread handovers - you're not alone. If you are frustrated because you've managed to get your kids to tidy up the house before the Ex comes to collect them, and before you know it, they're sick of waiting so it's once again transformed into the bomb-site it was only half an hour ago ... you're reading the right stuff then. It's so annoying that your Ex can still make it rain on your sunny day through a single quick remark that's just thrown in at the handovers.
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Financial Crisis ... What do we tell our kids?
When the rest of the world is reporting financial doom and gloom, what do our teens think? In a generation which we see more and more young people struggling with hopelessness, is this media frenzy really helping?
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World peace? How about Home Peace first...
We are all inspired at one time or another to embrace the vision and dream of world peace. We love what opportunities this brings and we dream of a world where we move beyond a fear and engage in the concept of difference not being judged, but rather celebrated. We become excited by the chances of pooling resources to solve basic human existence issues - that could all easily be funded by the redundancy of weapons and the banishment of immoral political power.
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Co-Parenting? What To Do with Lateness or No-Shows with Your Ex
Albert Einstein when asked of "Relativity" answered with this. "Relativity: An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour." So what does this have to do with your Ex showing up late? Don't we all know how long 10 minutes can be when you're the one who's doing the waiting ... and also how quickly it flies by when you're running late!
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But, You Don't Know My Ex!
This is one of the most common comments heard when talking with people about an Ex. Those of us who are parents and inside a Complex Family often have an Ex, and we normally believe it is near impossible to get on with them. Let's face it, it didn't work when we were married or partners, so why would it now? But it needs too - if only for the kid's sake!
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Children Adjusting When They're Home From The Ex's Place
Do you find it takes time for your children to settle in when they come back from your Ex's place? If you're like me, sometimes I wonder what goes on there that means they have to change so much. I mean, they've only been away a weekend and yet it feels like I get completely different children back. I've then got to start again on the 'house rules' and try and get them to settle again. Does this sound like you too?
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Article
The Kids are with Me or You - but not Her!
It's normal, it's real, and it's understandable ... so what's the answer? We all think it - and most of us say it when we share children with an Ex who has a new partner. The phrase 'the kids are with me or you - but not her' is equally valid when read "but not him" in place of her however 'her' just seems to be more common so for simplicity sake, I'll write with framing our stepmothers but this certainly does not exclude stepfathers.
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Websites & resources
SelfGrowth-published websites, downloads, and contributor profile websites connected to this expert.
Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Jill Darcey
If kids adjust, why are there so many dysfunctional adults?
Simply, most don't - instead they modify behaviour, change expectations, shut down and become resigned to situations beyond their ability to solve. We as parents need to change what we are currently doing with our kids.
Contacting Jill Darcey
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Jill Darcey (Author, Parent, Founder & Speaker), a mother of three; thousands of hours in counselling and coaching; and more than a decade of Complex Family parenting (ie. a family touched by separation, divorce or some form of family breakdown). You?re talking with someone who has both experience and wisdom. She's learned a lot of what does and doesn't work — and some of it the hard way!
In Jill's book "Parenting with the Ex Factor" she works to inspire divorced parents to ?stop drinking poison' and start constructively building the new parenting model.
Jill's passion is working with people to gain greater skills and knowledge - and she loves parenting! Put the two together, her ardor is to work alongside parents to grow the best parenting style for their children and our future generations.
Holding senior executive positions in corporates for over 10 years, Jill founded a successful Life Coaching business serving blue-chip companies, before she co-directed an I.T company. Gaining sporting achievements and dabbling in creative pastimes all while not taking her eye (nor time) off the ball in raising her three children.