Julie Roberts, Ph.D.

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The Seven Steps to Healthy Parent/Child Relationships

The world in which we live is violent in large part due to how we raise our children. We assume that children are small and undeveloped and without the need for freedom and personal choice. However, we traumatize them by making demands, creating unnecessary limits, not listening to them and not considering their needs or desires. In response, children fight back, recoil in fear or both, internalizing that they are not enough.

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Bringing the feminine forward

What does it mean to bring more of the feminine into our culture and why should we do that? Is there evidence that it helps? In a study in Leadership: Women Do It Better Than Men, Harvard Business Review (https://hbr.org/2012/03/a-study-in-leadership-women-do), Dr. Jack Zenger and Dr. Joe Folkman identified sixteen competencies that made an individual an outstanding leader. The results showed that women out-scored men in twelve of the sixteen competencies, including: Taking initiative, Inspiring and motivating others, Driving for results, Building relationships, Collaboration, and team work.

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Healthy Fear Versus Unhealthy Fear about the Ebola Outbreak

How do we know when we have healthy fear versus unhealthy fear about the latest pandemic? Healthy fear stimulates our awareness and drives us to appropriate action. Unhealthy fear is not as effective because we are over stimulated. We are hypervigilant, stressed, and our body is tense, all of which makes us less capable of seeing reality clearly, and less able to respond appropriately. With unhealthy fear, we are responding from a place that was traumatized in the past. Let me explain. When something happens to us that is unpleasant, we resist feeling the emotions associated with this event.

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Shifting Patterns of Learned Helplessness

Growing up with developmental trauma* can cause patterns of learned helplessness where we shut down, get small, space out, disassociate and eventually get depressed. Another response would be to go into the big one where we puff up and present ourselves as bigger than we are (see “Being the Big One” article https://www.changeworksinc.com/being-the-big-one/). And we can alte ate between being the big one and helplessness. This article is dealing specifically with “learned helplessness” and how to shift that pattern.

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How to Heal Ourselves and the World

Generally, society works against us discovering and being ourselves. We are taught to be what society and our parents want us to be. There is little faith in the brilliance and miracle of who we are. Instead, there is typically a fear that we are not enough and we have to push to be the best we can be to get what we want. We have to make ourselves into what we are supposed to be, and that is (we are told) not an easy road.

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What Kids Need

What do Kids need? Children need to be seen and appreciated for who they are. Our job as an adult is to look at a child and ask, “Who can you be?” This means we create an atmosphere of curiosity and attention, which nurtures a child to find the essence of who they are. We support their way of being, providing freedom for them to be who they are while teaching them how to be a kind and authentic human.

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How to find Love

The world is filled with people who are unhappy and even angry because they can’t get the love that they want. Most of us think that we need to do something different or be with someone different in order to get what we think we need—love from someone else. We have to be better, do more, achieve more, or look different to get what we want.

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Creating Healthy Relationships

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Healing Strife in Society

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. Rumi

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Being a Witness to Our Suffering

Repetition compulsion* is a pattern we get stuck in where we are trying to ease the pain that manifests because our needs as a child were not met. The pain occurs when we are younger and because our feelings weren’t acknowledged, the emotions (of fear, anger and grief) are not resolved and we get stuck in a loop of recreating the pattern in an attempt to resolve the feelings that get triggered in us.

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Change Works with CLEAR

Book review of Change Works with CLEAR, Clearing Limitations with Acupressure Release By Julie Roberts, Ph.D. Ready for distribution; printed 4/07 by Change WorksnISBN #: 978-0-9796033-0-3 Paper back; 150 pages Cost: $15 (+ shipping) available at: www.changeworksinc.com Book Summary Change ...

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Being the Big One

Sometimes when we are little and things go wrong, we think we have to take charge and fix things. We feel it’s up to us to make it better. We think we have to be the big one and we’ll show the adults how to do it. Or we feel like no one else is seeing what a mess things are, or how unsafe things are, so we try to make it better.

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Website

Change Works

This site explains the energy psychology method called, CLEAR and provides articles and a book summary on this methodology

April 13, 2009

Website

Change Works

Create the changes you want in your life with CLEAR. CLEAR is an energy psychology that combines bilateral stimulation (EMDR), acupressure point release, somatic experiencing, blocking belief clearing, muscle testing and other methods.

April 13, 2009

Website

Change Works

Change Works provides the latest in therapeutic techniques, combining understandings of the new science, acupressure points, the chakras, bi-lateral stimulation and somatic experiencing.

September 23, 2007