Lynette Crane
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Lynette Crane, M.A.(Psychology) and Certified Life Coach Expert
Lynette Crane Quick Facts
Lynette Crane is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years' experience in the field of stress and time management and personal growth. Her latest book is The Confident Introvert, written to help introverts overcome the stress of living in a culture that idealizes extroversion, so that they can thrive, and not just survive.Visit her website at http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
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Transforming your year
Everyone tells you that you must have a clear vision of where you want to go and who you want to be. Not everyone tells you exactly how – and how not – to get to that vision. For example, suppose you want a life in which you are well paid and appreciated for your work. You want warm relationships and the time to pursue them. But suppose your nagging belief is that it’s simply not possible. After all, you’ve spent years piling up evidence to tell you that.
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The Holiday Time and Energy Bandits
Time and energy bandits are habits and thought processes that can suck you dry, leaving you exhausted and harried. One of these bandits, which particularly rears its head at the holiday season, is perfectionism. Now perfectionism is a wonderful trait – in its place. Some of the places where it is advisable to practice perfectionism include brain surgery (or any kind of surgery), pharmacy, air traffic control, operation of any kind of heavy equipment, including motor vehicles, or any other activity that seriously threatens the health and safety of living things.
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Introvert Nervousness – Friend or Foe?
“I’m now able to give a talk in public, but I’m still nervous. I guess I won’t ever get over it.” The speaker was a woman in one of my seminars, and the topic was introversion and public speaking. Her assumption was that because she was an introvert, nervousness was always there, ready to undermine her performance and her confidence, and she would never be free of that awful feeling.
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Can an introvert have an exciting life and survive?
Yes, many do. Many do not. Performers are, surprisingly often, introverts, because performing provides a perfect platform for an introvert. A performance usually involves a structured situation with behavior that is well-rehearsed; furthermore, we can usually perform without those interruptions that force us to freeze or think too quickly, that we encounter in social situations. Many of us even learned that we could pour out our feelings and enthusiasm with a feeling of safety we never found daily life.
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Who do you share your pain with?
We all know, intuitively, what research tells us: we need companions in life with whom to share both our joys and our pains. People who do not have anyone with whom to share tend to lead more stressful, less healthy lives. Unfortunately, not everyone is an ideal companion for such sharing. If, when you have finished sharing your information, you feel worse, that’s a clue that that person wasn’t the healthiest choice.
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What’s the difference between problem-solving and rumination?
I had occasion to explore this issue myself this week, when I discovered that somehow my utility company had switched the account number and name on the bill it sends to my home each month. Confidently and proudly paying my bills online on the first of each month, I simply looked at the amount due, punched in the numbers, and sent the payments off, mentally dusting off my hands after a chore well done. Little did I know I was sending that amount of money into limbo.
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You Have Got To Be Committed!
So many entrepreneurs are in for a rude awakening as they continue the search for the ‘EASY’ button. You know the ones I mean – they sign up for all the free teleclasses, free webinars, grab complimentary tickets to numerous events, subscribe to every possible newsletter out there – and still, feel stuck in their business. The ‘EASY’ button does not exist. It is just that simple. Being in business is like being in a dating relationship – it takes commitment!
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Why Are You Running, If There’s No Prize?
I arrived home from a trip recently and observed the same scenario I see every time I travel. When I get off an airplane, I step on the moving sidewalk and rest my carry-on bag on the moving railing, stepping to the right, just as the instructions say: “stand” on the right, and “walk” on the left. I’m the only one standing. Everyone else is running. As I stand there, passenger after passenger rushes by me, dragging luggage, brushing against me, bumping into me. Many of them glare at me; some even make a remark to their companion (not to me, of course – that would be rude).
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Who’s writing your life script?
We all live our lives based on assumptions – beliefs we are sure are true about what we are capable of doing, what is acceptable for us to do, and what we think is inevitable. So where do those assumptions come from? I thought of this while attending a play last week. The central characters were an 80-year old man and a 70-something woman, who meet in a dog park. It was sweet, it was touching … and it went nowhere. Well, actually, she went off to Milan to hear an opera at the world-famous opera house he had always dreamed of visiting, but never had. He stayed on the park bench.
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Underlying Issues
What’s the real source of your stress? Coaches and therapists will tell you that when people are stressed or angry, what they say they are upset about and what is the real cause are two different things.
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The “Sliding Scale” of Introversion-Extroversion
After my talks, people often come up to me and say, “I used to be an introvert – but I got over it,” or, “I’m not sure; sometimes I think I’m one thing and sometimes the other. Can you be both?” Actually, you can be both, changing from one situation to another, or changing over time from one to the other, then sliding back. That’s why I call the introversion-extroversion dimension a sliding scale.
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How Can You Laugh When Your World Isn’t Funny?
“What do the simple folk do, to help them escape when they’re blue”, sang the King in the Broadway musical, Camelot. He felt someone had the secret, but he did not. It’s difficult to force yourself to laugh, and annoying if someone else urges you to do so when you don’t feel like it. But developing strategies to bring genuine laughter into your life can be an important part of stress management. Not only do your feelings improve; you health does, too, and your problem-solving abilities take a big step forward.
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