M.J. Ryan
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Change Expert MJ Ryan - Learn the secrets to taking any change in stride. Expert
M.J. Ryan Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- change, happiness, gratitude, patience
- Best Sellers
- Random Acts of Kindness, Attitudes of Gratitude, The Power of Patience, The Happiness Makeover, This Year I Will...
- Career Focus
- author, speaker and executive coach
- Affiliation
- Professional Thinking Partners, International Coaching Federation
About MJ
A member of Professional Thinking Partners who is recognized as a leadingexpert in change, M.J. Ryan specializes in coaching high performanceexecutives, entrepreneurs, individuals, and leadership teams around the worldto maximize performance and fulfillment. Her clients include Microsoft, RoyalDutch Shell, Chevron, Hewitt Associates, and Frito Lay. Her work is based on acombination of positive psychology, strengths-based coaching, the wisdomtraditions, and cutting edge brain research. Her new book, titled“AdaptAbility: How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For” was recently releasedpublished by Random House’s Broadway Books. She lives in the SanFrancisco Bay Area with her husband and daughter.
www.MJ-Ryan.com
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M.J. Ryan Books
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
Giving from the Heart
It’s holiday time and for many of us, holidays that should be filled with opportunities for true happiness—a sense of togethe ess, a chance to give, and a chance to be grateful—are turned into occasions for fights, disappointments, overspending and fatigue. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Holidays don’t have to be expensive, meaningless or filled with stress.
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Bouncing Back
“I can’t believe this is happening to me,” said the CEO on the other end of my phone line. “They just offered me a contract extension and three months later they’re telling me I’m out. I’m in shock.” Whether you have just received the news you no longer have a job or are dealing with any other change you didn’t ask for, chances are you’re dealing with a set of difficult feelings.
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More Resilience This Minute
Research by psychology professors Richard G. Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun shows that not only do we have the ability to grow through the challenges of our life, what they call post-traumatic growth, but the benefits of doing so include improved relationships, new possibilities for our lives, a greater appreciation for life, a greater sense of personal strength, and spiritual development. Not bad rewards, I’d say. So how do we cultivate resilience?
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What if There Were Nothing Wrong With You?
Given the training we’ve had in listening to everyone but ourselves and believing we are broken and bad, how do we begin? We start by understanding that the capacity to trust ourselves is not a fixed state we either have or don’t, like straight hair or violet eyes. Rather it is a quality of heart and mind we can cultivate. Like a muscle, it grows or shrinks with practice.
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Draw To You Want You Want
Last time I wrote about the danger of focusing on the problem rather than the solution. There’s another reason why focusing on the road instead of the hole is important. It’s got to do with what The Secret is about. Say what you will about that massive bestseller, but there is a kernel of truth there as far as I understand. We all have the ability to use our energy in three ways—dynamically, to create the forward momentum of action, receptively, to become aware of what is available around and within us, and magnetically, to draw toward us that which we’re powerfully pulling in.
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This is a SCARF You Don’t Want to Wear
I wrote last time about how our limbic systems are constantly on high alert, ready to activate the stress response at the sign of a threat. That’s a good thing when we’re in physical danger. But unfortunately it also can turn on in traffic jams, layoffs, arguments with our loved ones…you fill in your favorite stressor.
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Become a Life-Long Learner
My mother has been telling me she’s too old to change since she was 45; she’s now 85. In a way, she had the privilege of that position because she hasn’t had to support herself. Those of us out there making a living know how much the world is changing and how we must change to keep up, no matter what our age. I just read somewhere that the average American will have nine jobs by the time they’re 32. How many therefore by the time they’re 62? In his book Innovation and Entrepreneurship, management consultant Peter F.
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Getting Rid of Those Pesky Inner Critics
Hundreds of books have been written about getting rid of these voices because we all know they don’t serve any useful purpose. Even if those who spoke to us originally in this way were trying to be helpful, at this point they exist only to torture us. But I don’t know a single person who has eliminated those voices by any of the techniques in such books. That’s because such messages are deeply entrenched in our psyches—they ain’t going nowhere. That doesn’t mean we have to be at their mercy, however.
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Your One and Only Precious Life
The first step to create a life of meaning is to truly see your life as the precious, limited time opportunity it actually is. You can make it a beautiful mansion. Here’s how Philip Adams puts it, “Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don’t. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever.” I have a client in his early forties who dealt with a serious illness last year that incapacitated him for months.
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You’re More Resilient Than You Think
“I can’t handle this,” Susan cried, contemplating her daughter’s dwindling college fund. I know how she feels. When I think of the changes I’ve had to deal with in my life—having to lie flat in bed for a year due to back pain, going through a devastating breakup, dealing with the financial meltdown of my company, not to mention all the ups and downs of the life of an entrepreneur--there have been many times when I honestly doubted my ability to live through another second. And yet here I am, and so are you.
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Cultivate Both/And Thinking
As I’ve written about before, our brains are not always our friends. They have various habits that can really get in our way. One is what’s called bifurcating, the tendency to think in either/or: either I am happy or I’m sad; either I am trying hard or I’m giving up; either I am a success or a failure. But human beings—and reality itself—is much more multifaceted than this mind tendency would have us be. We can be in more than one emotional state or hold opposing thoughts at the same time, and our actions can spring from a variety of conflicting motivations.
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Your Future is Built on a Bedrock that is Unchanging
Tom Heuerman is an organizational consultant who recently wrote about the qualities of sustainable organizations: they “continually adapt to the exte al environment…. [and] have a core identity of purpose (why they exist) and values (guiding principles) that provide stability and continuity as all else changes over time.” What struck me is how much what applies to organizations also applies to individuals. As businesswomen, our work life springs from the same unchanging bedrock. Perhaps bedrock is not the only apt metaphor.
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Websites & resources
SelfGrowth-published websites, downloads, and contributor profile websites connected to this expert.
Website
M.J. Ryan
Find tips and reach me here if you want to change your life.
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Website
AdaptAbility: How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For
Purchase my new book, "AdaptAbility: How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For"
July 3, 2009
Website
The Blog of Change Expert M.J. Ryan
The Blog of Change Expert MJ Ryanr Learn the secrets to taking any change in stride.
July 3, 2009
Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from M.J. Ryan
There is nothing wrong with you. When we're stuck, we're justdisconnected from our own resources. I work with your strengths toovercome challenges.
Contacting M.J. Ryan
MJ Ryan
Professional Thinking Partners
Phone: 925.274.9311
Email: mjryan@mj-ryan.com
Website: www.mj-ryan.com
Twitter: twitter.com/maryjaneryan
Blog: maryjaneryan.wordpress.com
How to get started
Contact me at maryjaneryan@gmail.com