Sharon Rivkin

M.A., M.F.T.

Official Guide

Conflict Resolution and Affairs Expert

Sharon Rivkin

Sharon Rivkin Quick Facts

Main Areas
Conflict Resolution and Affairs
Career Focus
Therapist, Author, Speaker

If all attempts to resolve your life and relationship issues have failed, Sharon Rivkin is your "last-ditch effort" therapist. She specializes at getting to the root of problems quickly, with tools for immediate change and resolution.

All hope is never lost when it comes to therapy with Sharon. She is a relationship expert, and conflict resolution and affairs specialist, who has helped hundreds of individuals and couples resolve their relationship problems quickly and effectively, without having to drudge up years and years of issues that can take months and years to get through before any progress is made. After over 29 years of counseling experience, Sharon will get to the root of what’s going on, with tools to implement immediate change.

How does she do this? Sharon has developed a groundbreaking and extremely unique theory and system that gets to the root of all relationship issues in three, effective steps. Her First Argument system reveals why you’ve been arguing and fighting about the same issues again and again and why they can't be resolved. With Sharon’s help, one critical piece of information will uncover what’s at the root of you and your partner’s fights so that you’ll finally understand what you’re really fighting about and what all the pain and suffering has been about. Then with individually designed tools, couples can learn how to communicate more effectively so that future arguments are resolved quickly, and love, understanding, and respect are restored within the relationship.

Sharon’s highly effective First Argument system is outlined in her book, BREAKING THE ARGUMENT CYCLE: How to Stop Fighting Without Therapy, and her work has been featured in O: The Oprah Magazine in the United States and South Africa, and Reader’s Digest. Sharon appears regularly on radio and has appeared on Martha Stewart Whole Living Radio, discussing relationship topics ranging from argument resolution to affair-proofing a marriage.

An experienced public speaker, Sharon has led workshops on women in mid-life, facilitating women with specific mid-life issues such as self-esteem, health, body image, relationships, career, and the aging process. She has also conducted psychotherapy groups through her private practice, emphasizing communication skills and self-awareness for individuals and couples. And currently, Sharon leads continuing education workshops on her First Argument system, helping students understand why they’re fighting about the wrong things and how to structure a marital game plan to resolve their arguments, with communication tools and strategies designed to strengthen any relationship.

Sharon works with individuals and couples in the areas of:

  • Conflict Resolution
  • Effective Communication that Makes Changes
  • Cheating
  • Premarital Counseling
  • Separation and Divorce
  • Restoring Love and Trust in Relationships
  • Blended Family Issues
  • Stress
  • Self-Worth
  • Identity Issues & Re-evaluation of Purpose
  • Trauma Resolution
  • Career Change / Major Life Transitions

Sharon received a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Boston University and a Masters of Arts in Clinical Psychology from Sonoma State University in Cotati, Califo ia. She was also director of the Learning Skills Program at Santa Rosa Junior College, in Santa Rosa, Califo ia, a program that served learning disabled and head-injured adults. Under her directorship, Sharon created a highly acclaimed specialized counseling class for parents of the adult students. Sharon was also an advisor to the staff in matters relating to program development, treatment planning, and in-service training. She taught classes in Diagnostic Testing, Study Skills, Reading, Writing, Interpersonal Counseling, and Guidance; and developed curriculum for Interpersonal Counseling and Guidance classes. Sharon also served as community liaison with county agencies serving adolescents and adults, and helped develop intake manual and procedures for treatment review and was instrumental in designing an internship training program.

Sharon provides services to clients throughout the San Francisco area. For clients elsewhere, Sharon provides therapy via internet, phone, or Skype.

Sharon has been in private practice for over 29 years, and specializes in individual, couples, and family therapy. She is married to Michael Howard and is the mother of two grown daughters, Talia and Tashina Kilburn.

Change tomorrow by changing today! Contact Sharon, your “last-ditch effort” therapist.

Sharon Rivkin Books

Articles by this expert

SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.

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3 Steps to Resolving Your Fights and Loving Each Other Again

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After a separation or divorce, the first holiday season can bring tremendous stress and sadness, in addition to feeling overwhelmed and frightened. Coping with loss and grief, coupled with changes in familiar patterns and traditions, can magnify your feelings about the separation or divorce during the holiday season. Up to this point, you may have felt you were making progress in moving on with your life, but the holidays seem to emerge with feelings of grief all over again!

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We’re a cult of list makers. We make to-do lists, grocery lists, packing lists, and now a list of must-have qualities for our potential partner. She needs to be independent, yet be devoted; he needs to earn a good living, yet have enough time for her. He needs to have follow-through on his promises; she needs to not be demanding. And on it goes. If some of these qualities don’t appear right away, do you end the relationship? Or how long should you stay if all the items on your list aren’t there?

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With the holidays fast approaching, our emotions seem to jump all over the place. We’re excited, anxious, stressed, because there’s so much to plan, and we want the holidays to be perfect. Yet, the thought of the holiday dinner quickly reminds us of past events that have been anything but loving and peaceful. Most families have some kind of history of arguments that seem to erupt at the yearly holiday dinner table.

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Have you ever considered a year without arguments? In these times of economic chaos, it is more important than ever to minimize your fighting and disagreements, and create a more harmonious relationship with your spouse and family. Couples simply cannot afford to divorce as easily during a recession, but with some new intentions and techniques, a failing marriage can be salvaged and healed.

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He says no…she says yes. She wants to go to her best friend’s for Thanksgiving dinner, he’s firm about going to his parents’. She wants a change…he wants the same. Suddenly you’re not feeling thankful for anything at all. Sound familiar? So, how do you put the thankful back into Thanksgiving? How do you come to a middle ground with your partner, your family, and yourself?

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Unless someone is completely vicious, no one enters a marriage with the intention of destroying it, yet the divorce rate gets higher every year and couples, even if they don’t divorce, are often unhappy and in loveless marriages. By being aware of what you may be doing in your marriage that could eventually destroy it, you can create a successful and flourishing relationship:

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One of the hardest things to do is to leave a relationship. A more difficult undertaking is staying out. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough. Maybe she could change after all. Maybe I could put up with more tha I thought; after all, I do love him.

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Where has all the love gone that you once felt for your partner? Do you seem to fight about everything? Has your partner become your enemy? How did it happen?

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The first argument is the most crucial argument you will ever have in your relationship, setting the stage for all arguments to follow. Future conflicts will often look and sound like they’re different, but most times are simply variations of the first, unresolved argument. Understanding that the first argument is a tool for healing, rather than just a random conflict, can spare yourself years of grief, hopelessness, and helplessness in your relationships.

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We all seem to think that we need to find our perfect mate or soul mate. But does a perfect mate even exist and, if so, does this mean that the only way to be happy is to find this perfect soul mate? What if you don’t? What if you spend your entire life looking, only to end up alone in your fantasy delusion because you didn’t find him/her? Are we really searching for fantasy in our relationships?

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You’re in a new relationship, and you’re starting to see some red flags, warning you that the relationship may not be a good bet, but does that mean you should leave? How many red flags does it take to make that decision? How do you know if the red flags mean future disaster, or are just a warning?

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Websites & resources

SelfGrowth-published websites, downloads, and contributor profile websites connected to this expert.

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Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Sharon Rivkin

"The Poison is the Remedy."

Contacting Sharon Rivkin

Contact Sharon by email at sharonrivkin@aol.com or by phone at 707-538-5455. Sharon is extremely prompt in responding to all inquiries. Please visit her website at http://www.sharonrivkin.com.

How to get started

It's easy to get started with Sharon. Simple visit her website and enter your contact information and relationship issue. She can also be reached by email at sharonrivkin@aol.com, or by phone at 707-538-5455. She conducts consultation and therapy sessions in person in her office in Santa Rosa, Califo ia, or by email, phone, or Skype. Please visit her website for more relationship information and browse her Relationship Library for answers on specific relationship issues. Also, feel free to engage in relationship conversation via Sharon's blog. She always looks forward to your comments!

Other highlights

Sharon will be conducting "Couples in Trouble" weekend workshops in the Northern Califo ia Wine Country for couples who are needlessly just one small step away from entering divorce court. Sharon is known as the "last-ditch effort" therapist who helps couples move through the dark tunnel of hurt and despair, and into the light of hope, love, understanding, and relationship recovery. Under Sharon's expertise as a therapist of over 29 years, specializing in conflict resolution and affairs, couples will arm themselves with Sharon's groundbreaking relationship recovery system that no other therapist or expert is using, that reveals critical information as to why they can't stop fighting and hurting each other, and how to heal and strenghten their relationships. Sharon will stock a customized toolbelt for each couple to use upon re-entry into mainstream that contains just the right combination of tools to resolve future arguments quickly and effectively, with understanding, compassion, and love. Imagine not only saving your relationship, but falling in love all over again, and resolving arguments in a healthy and positive way that promotes closeness and intimacy. But you must attend the Workshop to learn how to do it! Any couple who is in trouble should NOT GIVE UP. Attend "Couples In Trouble" and save your marriage!