Shelley Stile
BS, MS, ACC Ceritifcation
Free
Life After Your Divorce-Divorce Recovery Expert
Shelley Stile Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Life After Divorce Life Coaching, Divorce Recovery
- Best Sellers
- 95 Transformational Tips for Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce
- Career Focus
- Life Coach, Speaker, Author, Lecturer, workshop Leader
- Affiliation
- International Coaches Federation, International Speakers Forum
Shelley Stile is a professionally trained and ACC certified Life Coach specializing in Divorce Recovery. Shelley works to guide you to not only survive the divorce process, but to create a new and exciting life after divorce. Divorce shakes the foundation beneath our feet but when that foundation crumbles, there is fertile ground for creating something new.
She trained with CTI, Coaches Training Institute and the Ford Institute for Integrative Coaching's Spiritual Divorce process.
Shelley is a member of the ICF, The International Coaches Federation, which is the governing body for coaching worldwide and the International Speakers Network. She also teaches divorce recovery at the Adult School in Montclair, New Jersey as well as leading workshops at the Center for Women in Livingston, New Jersey and the Professional Women's Center in Montclair, New Jersey. She has also coached at the nationally acclaimed Life Directions seminar.
Shelley coaches her clients on a one-on-one basis via the telephone as well as group tele-seminars.She is the author of the powerful book, 95 Transformational Tips for Letting Go and Moving On after your Divorce.
"Coaching is the most powerful tool I have experienced in terms overcoming the obstacles that keep you from achieving your goals as well as moving you forward via action steps every single week. It works to empower people to discover for themselves the answers to the challenges they face by giving them the necessary insights as well as tools."
"Divorce Recovery Coaching seeks to guide the client to let go of all the negative emotional baggage of the past via a process that creates acceptance of our life now. We work to clear the endless mind chatter that stops us from creating a new and vibrant life after divorce.
I came to Coaching after I went through my own mid-life crisis…a divorce after 18 years of marriage. As a result of that experience and the work that I did on myself, my purpose in life is to help other women survive divorce and then go on to create lives that are more fulfilling and happy…much better than before!”
Shelley offers free sample sessions of Coaching so that you can see for yourself the value of Life Coaching. Contact her at shelleystile@lifeafteryourdivorce.com today.
She is also available for workshops and lectures.Her new book, 95 Transformational Tips for Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce is available now at www.divorcesupportbook.com
Free Articles & Book Excerpts
Shelley Stile Books
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
Reconnecting With Your Teenagers
The week or so before the holidays was hell on wheels at my house. The task of raising two teenagers as a single Mom and all its attendant responsibilities creates a good deal of tension within our four walls. Any parent of a teen will understand. Too often I get the feeling that my life with them is nothing but nagging, cajoling and getting them to do the things they need to do to be responsible adults, not to mention making it through their days with everything handled. A blowup with my son over infractions against house rules caused him to say he wanted to move out.
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Divorce Recovery: Beware Expectations!
In a nutshell, expectations are premeditated resentments and disappointments. They are self-sabotaging beliefs we hold that literally set us up to feel bad and keep us stuck in the pain of our divorce. They are in direct conflict with how the world actually works and are based on the phrase, ‘should be’. In order to let go of the pain of our divorce, we must let go of impossible expectations. What exactly is an impossible expectation? How about: I expect me ex to treat me with respect. I expect that my ex will be totally fair as regards our financial settlement.
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How to Handle your Emotions During Divorce
Divorce brings out the lunatic within us. Rage, anger, depression, sadness, resentment and blame are just some of negative emotions running the show. Your emotional state is hard to pin down from one moment to the next. This is not the best state of mind to be in when you are being called upon to handle so many things and make so many very important choices and decisions. We need to tame the gremlin, (that negative mind chatter within), learn to be less reactive and be in more control of our emotional state in order to be able to effectively handle our divorce.
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Article
Our Aging Parents
I am now in the generation whose parents are getting old and sick. It’s the cycle of life. I remember when my grandfather was in the hospital dying. My Father was by his bedside all the time. Now we are facing that stark reality: our parent’s decline and their mortality. Our parents are in a stage of life that is not only difficult for them but for us as well, physically and mentally. How do we deal with the inevitable changes they go through?
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Article
Transforming Your Significant Relationship
It may to difficult to accept but the ingredients for a happy and fulfilling relationship with your significant other or spouse rests on the foundation of acceptance. Acceptance of the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Acceptance of who that person is at their core. Acceptance of all the little things they do. 1. Acceptance does not imply giving up. It is not a negative term. It is acknowledging reality. Acceptance means that we come to understand and accept our mate and our life for what it is. There is no judgment involved.
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Article
Freedom is the Reward for Letting Go
The ability to move on after your divorce entails the letting go of the past with its emotional baggage and negative emotions. If you can accomplish this feat then the heavy burdens you have been carrying will lift and you will experience the liberation of freedom: the ability to move unimpeded towards whatever goal you establish for yourself. Think of slavery. Picture a person wrapped in chains. Now think of those chains as having specific labels attached: blame, resentment, resistance, anger, denial, sadness and confusion.
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Article
Life After Divorce: Choosing a Happy New Year
The New Year is the proverbial time to make resolutions about our lives. This year may I suggest that you resolve to make an empowering choice for yourself? Choose to have a Happy New Year. As human beings, the ability to consciously choose is our most powerful attribute. Choice is ours and ours alone. Choose to commit to living this one precious life of yours as a happy person. We have all heard the stories of the wisdom that is revealed at the end of someone’s life.
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Article
Was Your Divorce a Means to Healing Old Baggage?
Here’s a fascinating take on divorce that I find more true than not: We choose our spouses, usually subconsciously, as a means to healing old emotional wounds we have been carrying around our entire life. Our divorce then becomes the wakeup call to clean up that mental baggage we have been lugging around once and for all which in turn allows us to become the person we were always meant to be! That theory would go a long way to answering the questions we often ask ourselves: How is it I married my Father/Mother? Why do I over-react to certain things my ex did or said?
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Article
How Divorce Affects Your Children
Recently I spoke with a woman whose coaching practice revolves around the issue of children and divorce. She had many useful strategies for dealing with this challenge but what it all seemed to come down to is this: if you love your children more than you might hate, resent or simply dislike your ex, then you are called upon to act with their well-being first and foremost instead of any hard feelings you may harbor against your former spouse.
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Article
The Second Half of Life
The Second Half of Life I’m 55 years old. Really. It seems like yesterday I was bopping down the streets of Manhattan with my buddies and today I’m in bed by 10 pm. And whose body is this?
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Article
Divorce Recovery: Are Your Fears Holding you Back?
Divorce turns our lives upside down. It throws us into a major life transition that is colored by intense feelings and emotions that can be debilitating. I believe that fear is the main culprit that holds us back from not only healing and letting go of our pain, but also from moving forward into a new life. So it is fear we need to identify and then overcome. Fear debilitates. It acts as a paralytic agent that keeps us stuck. It inhibits any real forward motion.
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Article
The Cost Of Being Right: A High Price To Pay
The Cost of Being Right One of the highest prices we pay in life is the cost of being right. Some of us will sacrifice almost anything just in order to be the last one standing. A person who had been surrounded by their peers now sits alone, safe in the knowledge that he or she is right in their viewpoint even though they have alienated everyone around them. The ego is a mighty powerful entity left unchecked. Have you ever attempted to reason with a child who knows everything? It’s their way or no way at all.
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Websites & resources
SelfGrowth-published websites, downloads, and contributor profile websites connected to this expert.
Website
Coaching for Change/Divorce Recovery
Divorce Recovery Life Coaching for people undergoing divorce or who are divorced and are looking to let go of the pain of their divorce and move on to create new and vibrant lives after divorce.
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Website
The Good Life
Discovering how to do less and have more is the ideal approach for busy-successful-know-there's-got-to-be-more-to-life people like YOU who want to change their lives but don't have the time or energy for long, complicated self-help programs.
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Website
95 Transformational Tips for Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce
"95 Transformational Tips" should be required reading for all people going through a divorce or separation. Tracy Achen – editor of WomansDivorce.com
November 2, 2009
Website
Free E-Book: Coping with Divorce
Free E-Book: The 10 Secrets to Coping with Divorce
April 13, 2009
Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Shelley Stile
"The best way to predict the future is to create it. " Ramsey Clark
"Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
Contacting Shelley Stile
How to get started
Contact Shelley at shelleystile@lifeafteryourdivorce.com and schedule a FREE, 30 minute sample session of Divorce Recovery Coaching so you can experience for yourself how Coaching can guide you to heal and then move forward towards the life you deserve and want.
Also, check out Shelley's blog at http:shelleyblog.changecoachshelley.com and Shelley's website at http://www.lifeafteryourdivorce.com where you can take the free, online Divorce Life Quiz.