Susan Stiffelman

Susan's approach

The first element that I help parents learn is how to manage their reactions when the parenting road gets rocky, so that if their child is misbehaving or out of sorts, they (the parent) can be the calm and confident Captain of the Ship their child needs. Many parents report losing it when their kids push their buttons. I teach techniques--beyond taking a deep breath or counting to ten-- that work from the inside out, allowing parents to reclaim their natural, loving authority without using threats, bribes, or force, which work in the short term—you do manage to get the kid in the car by threatening to take away their new toy-- but which damage the parent/child connection.

Children are meant to resist being bossed around by outsiders, and to follow and cooperate with those to whom they are lovingly and securely attached. I teach parents how to feed the roots of the connection they have with their child, awakening their desire to take their cues from their parents, rather than their peers. This is built upon a very simple model of six stages of attachment that create a profound connection between parent and child, empowering parents with natural authority in their child or teen’s eyes.

Many parents feel at a loss for handling their children’s inevitable frustrations, either caving in to their demands, or doing nothing at all, which fuels anger and aggression. In Passionate Parenting I show parents how to help their child deal successfully with frustration, disappointment and change, so that they become adaptable, resilient, and happier.

In my work and my book, I help parents celebrate their child as is. I teach various models of intelligence that help parents identify and nurture their child's innate gifts, talents, and flavor of genius.

Finally, I show moms and dads how to teach their kids strategies to avoid depression, anxiety and the other dark forces that can rob children (and adults) of their joy. In addition, I introduce kid-friendly techniques for unwinding without electricity, managing stress, and envisioning and manifesting the life uniquely suited for them.