Susan Peabody

MS

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Love Addiction and Relationships Expert

Susan Peabody

Susan Peabody Quick Facts

Main Areas
Love addiction and relationships
Best Sellers
Addiction to Love and The Art of Changing
Career Focus
Teaching, writing and counseling
Affiliation
A Brighter Tomorrow

I have been teaching about love addiction and relationships since 1985. I have written four books:

Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships

The Art of Changing: Your Secret to a Better Life.

Recovery Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants.

Where Love Abides (a parable about my life).

My website is http://brightertomorrow.net/index.html

When I am not teaching about love addictio I do online and phone counseling. Recently I have also hung out my shingle as a Life Coach. Let me ask you . . . Are you looking for love but having a hard time finding it? Do you want to get married but no one is available? I can identify what is standing in your way and help you remove these stumbling blocks. I will listen to your story, get in touch with what needs to be changed and help you become more focused and goal oriented. You may think you know what you want, but may not have a clue as to what will really make you happy and fulfilled. I will outline a program of change and help you implement these changes. I will also help you write an online profile. If you are stuck, but ready to hear the truth, I can help you change your life forever. Before setting up an appointment, please read over the counseling page on my website and bring a notebook to your session.

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Articles by this expert

SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.

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I believe that to get well we have to face our fear. In 1982, when a friend suggested I go to a 12-Step program, I blurted out, “I can’t, I’m afraid they might cure me.” Little did I realize what I was saying about myself. It was years before I was able to face the fear I expressed to my ...

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Those who vacillate between love addiction and love avoidance are called Ambivalent Love Addicts. Most Love Addicts and Love Avoidants are ambivalent at one time or another. They crave love, but they also fear it.

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Narcissism is a personality disorder. It stems from childhood abuse. When children decide that the world, and the people in it, are bad and that they are good, they have a skewed vision of life. They see the whole world as revolving around them. They see others as objects to gratify their needs. ...

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To many people, the term “Seductive Withholder” is self-explanatory. SW’s are men and women who vacillate between being available and unavailable. One moment they are romantic, alluring, in pursuit and then suddenly (often without warning) they pull back and withhold ...

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A lot has been written about love addiction and yet it is still a misunderstood disorder. For instance, many people believe that love addicts only run hot (passionately pursue someone who is unavailable like in the movie Fatal Attraction.) However, many love addicts also run cold (appear aloof)and yet they are still addicted.

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When it comes to toxic love and relationships, there are two kinds of people, those who love too much (the Love Addict), and those who love too little, (the Love Avoidant). If you vacillate between the two you are an Ambivalent Love Addict. Love Addicts: Love Addicts obsess about someone, and they cannot let go, even if their PoA (Person of Addiction) is unavailable or toxic. By this I mean they are: Afraid to commit; Cannot communicate; Unloving/distant; Abusive/controlling and dictatorial (narcissistic);r

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Creating a relationship is like backing a cake. You must have the right ingredients, in the right amount (not too much and not too little) and you must put them together in the right order. The ingredients of a healthy relationship are as follows: 1. Honesty that engenders trust. 2. Readiness ...

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People like to tell me now and then that I am narcissistic. Yet I see myself as kind and generous. You might say I am in “denial,” about being a loving person, but there is actually some evidence to back up my perception of myself. I have a long history of “loving too ...

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FALLING IN LOVE WITH AN UNAVAILABLE PERSON Many love addicts find they have a history of falling in love with an unavailable person and they wonder why this keeps happening over and over again. The following is a list of the most common reasons love addicts keep falling into this ...

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In the last decade, a lot has changed in the world of love addiction. Not that love addiction itself has changed. It is pretty much the same insidious disorder it always has been. What has changed is how the world looks at it. Twenty years ago, our understanding of love addiction was still ...In the last decade, a lot has changed in the world of love addiction. Not that love addiction itself has changed. It is pretty much the same insidious disorder it always has been. What has changed is how the world looks at it.

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Some people believe forgiveness is important and others don’t. In his book Alcoholics Anonymous, author Bill Wilson (the co-founder of AA) discusses forgiveness and says its necessary for sobriety. He calls it “letting go of resentment,” not forgiveness, and says it’s not done to please others, but in the interest of self.

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The Freudians use the term repetition compulsion to describe “the mind’s tendency to repeat traumatic events in order to deal with them.”1 Another Freudian term, the pleasure principle, describes the need of the infant to seek gratification.2 In adults, this would be called the “production of ...

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Websites & resources

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Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Susan Peabody

I am glad to be a recovering love addict myself and able to offer the following message. "If you are a love addict, you are not alone. There is hope and there is recovery. If you have suffered enough, and are ready to make certain changes, you can follow in my footsteps and those of other recovering love addicts. You can have a brighter tomorrow." From my book Addiction to Love. Change is to human life what the metamorphosis is to the caterpillar. It is the inevitable cycle of life. If there is no change there is no life. From The Art of Changing. From a reader . . . Dear Ms. Peabody:This is so funny...I was SO intimated about contacting you, but felt an overpowering need to first personally thank you for reassuring me I had not completely lost it and offering me a way out.When I discovered you were now offering life coaching. . . you didn't have to ask me twice!!! Once I read your books, I immediately found your work to be down to earth (free of annoying psycho babble), clear, concise, relevant, and full of hope. It was so powerful to turn the pages of your books and related and understand ME immediately. This personal identification with your work and examples were so powerful.I knew I had found my "answer" when I came to the symptom of "smothering" one's POA (Love Addicts Anonymous term for person of addiction.) I knew in my heart you understood me at my worst! It was as if you had jumped out from the pages I was reading and "nailed" me right there. I immediately saw myself as a dump truck driver backing up and letting go of my load covering my fantasy love who had no earthly clue I had an intimate feeling at all for him!I read your second book [The Art of Changing] as my addiction had escalated past the point of making no sense to me. It became my "bible" of hope as my therapist and I poured through the concepts of change you presented seeking how I might recover.Thank you again! It has been my pleasure and miracle meeting you! I hope my POA enjoyed my strange and continuous love. . . as it is coming to an end very very soon. Time's up buddy as I'm moving on!!!!Your grateful new client,Sheryl R.

Contacting Susan Peabody

How to get started

Everything I know about love addiction is on my website. http://brightertomorrow.net/index.html I have articles about love addiction, tests to determine if you are a love addict and a wealth of information about recovery. I also, for a fee, offer counseling services.