Finding One's Self Through Art and Travel

I always thought I had a normal upbringing, until I realized there was no such thing as "normal". After a typical suburban American childhood of roller-skating, pizza parties and the Disney Channel, I slid into adolescence doing all the usual teenage things: experimenting with make-up, shopping at the mall, and poring over the slew of magazines aimed at young women that claim to hold the secrets of becoming popular and attracting boys. As my youthful consciousness began to glimpse the possibilities of life beyond the hypercritical halls of high school, I quickly became disillusioned with what the dictates of mainstream society seemed to expect of young women (and young people in general). Why should I shop at a certain store, be friends with certain people, or follow a predetermined path in life? nnAs I became more introspective and began to search for answers to these questions within myself, I found myself spending more time in the art room at school, quietly releasing my hopes and frustrations into the paints and pencils at my fingertips. Part of the "release" for me in being creative was in the letting go of the enormous cloud of expectations about how one "should" or "should not" live their life. There are as many ways to live a life as there are stars in the sky and drops of water in the ocean. Everyone is unique and must find their own path to a life of happiness and meaning. I suppose that I'm lucky that I fell into art at such a young and formative age, because it's been an indispensable tool in deepening self-awareness. nnI feel it's important to pursue those things in life that open us up, that make us feel wonder. When every day promises a new journey and we are a slightly different person by the end of it, then we know we are on the right path. I find a lot of meaning in sitting quietly alone with a paper and pen or a canvas and paints. It allows me plenty of time and freedom to explore the contents of my mind, as well as provides a healthy platform for interpreting my life experiences (both inner and outer). Working on art gives me plenty of time to sit with my thoughts and watch them come and go with the passing of each moment. But what is especially rewarding about making art is that it allows me to safely share intimate aspects of myself with others, while hopefully conjuring a valuable internal dialogue between the artwork and the viewer. The quiet beauty of it is that more often than not, I will never be privy to the full effect my art has on others. Thus, the art takes on a life of its own; weaving its own path through the universe long after the last brushstroke has touched the canvas. nnMy process of art-making is typically a solipsistic experience rooted in wrestling with the unknown to create something tangible. I work with possibilities instead of absolutes, and seek to create connections between seemingly disparate objects, entities, or notions. One of the greatest inspirations for my art has been deliberate immersion in the unfamiliar, in the form of travel. You could say it started as an infant when my parents whisked me off to Saudi Arabia at 6 weeks old, but it became a conscious choice at age 19, when I traveled to India, Sri Lanka, and Nepal, doing volunteer work and home stays with village families. Everything about Asia was so overwhelmingly different – the colors, the language, the smells, the outlook, the overall tempo of life. Perhaps it sounds odd, but what struck me the most was the complete and total reality of it. When you're sitting comfortably at home, you can dream of a place and what it must be like, imagining yourself in this fictitious setting, bustling with positive energy and marveling at the expected cultural differences. But when you actually go there and attempt to live your delicate bubble of a dream, you may find that the most important (and often surprising!) thing that you really encounter is yourself. Traveling reveals to you aspects of yourself, your life, your upbringing, assumptions, habits, socializations – things you never truly realized were there. Such experiences are invaluable in helping one gain a more holistic perspective on who they are in relation to the world. It can be challenging, but placing oneself in unfamiliar territory inevitably chips away at one's attachment to how things "should be", while developing the humble wisdom that there is always more in life to know, more to experience, and more room to grow. nnMy two favorite activities, art and travel, are a conscious endeavor to realize that I am part of a greater (if often unseen and unrecognized) whole. We can't even begin to fathom the hidden connections that bind us to each other - to our neighbors, strangers, all living beings, the planet and beyond. Both art and travel can show us new ways of looking at things. We can't pretend that we know everything about the way life works or what it has to offer us; the world abounds with possibilities. Each day is only the beginning in a long line of never-ending beginnings, if we can only see with fresh eyes and venture forth with pure hearts. nnThe path to self-discovery is never an easy one, but the rewards are immeasurable. In a society that fills our heads with images and expectations of what we should become, what we should value, and how we should spend our time, it requires enormous strength and resilience of character to turn the gaze inward on a continual basis, to tune into the unique melody that resonates deep within us and has the potential to guide us to our own true happiness and calling.