Why do I want to be a god? Is it rooted in trauma, ego, or something deeper?

Typically, in moments of extreme hardship or intense suffering, individuals often seek a path to escape their pain, suffering and misery. It is during these times that the aspiration to attain a god-like state may arise. "Traumatic" is generally related to experiences that are emotionally distressing or harmful, often causing lasting effects on one’s mental and emotional well-being. Trauma can result from various events, such as accidents, various types of abuse, losing a loved one, or other highly distressing situations. When one goes through traumatic events one has the desire to pursue godhood. Who is it that suffers or experiences the trauma? When anyone suffers it all stems down to the ego. So, what exactly is ego? Ego is synonymous with 'I'. It signifies existence, stating, 'I exist.' Every living being is conscious of their own existence – the 'I am' awareness. Yet, they lack awareness of their true identity – the 'What I am' realisation. Consequently, we often mistakenly identify ourselves with the body or the name assigned to it. For instance, one might declare, 'I am John,' but that designation is merely linked to the body. Despite this, we cling to the notion of being 'John'. Referring to oneself as something they are not, in reality, constitutes egoism. Saying, "I am this body," "I am a doctor," "I am her husband," "I am this age," "I am overweight," and so forth, all exemplify forms of egoism. Param Pujya Dadashri emphasises that the objective isn't to eliminate the ego itself; rather, it's essential to dissolve egoism. The quick, simple and easy way to get rid of your egoism is to attain Self Realisation (Gnan) through the grace of the Enlightened One (Gnani Purush). With this knowledge, your egoism dissipates. And one begins their journey towards godhood. Once you attain Self-realisation, the journey toward Godhood begins. This is achieved by recognising and dwelling in one's Real Self, rather than in the false belief of ‘I am this body and mind’, which is led by the ego. Thereafter this allows for flawless vision and the ability to see others without faults. The next step is to identify and eliminate your own faults, which is when you become a living God. Param Pujya Dadashri always said ‘that those who have an absolute vision of flawless conduct, even if their own conduct is not yet flawless, are considered liberated’. To progress toward Godhood, we must recognise when we hurt others through our thoughts, speech, or actions and seek immediate forgiveness through pratikraman, which involves repenting and seeking forgiveness from the Pure Soul residing within the person we hurt. Pratikraman is one of the most effective tools for attaining peace and bliss. By shedding one layer of our mistakes through pratikraman, we can begin to develop flawless conduct and gradually progress towards Godhood. After this Gnan, you will not have any depression or elevation. Even if someone berates you or hurls abuse, you will not suffer depression, and that is called Vignan (spiritual science). This spiritual path leads to freedom from suffering by connecting with one's true Self and removing egoism. To read more, viist: https://dbf.adalaj.org/3uCzoQ3a