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Articles by Adele Theron

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25 articles by Adele Theron · showing 25

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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

A rant about having sex with an ex whilst healing

There is an article in the Daily Mail today entitled “Why ‘ex-sex’ CAN be a good idea: Sleeping with an old love lessens psychological distress of break-up… if you’re not over him” Apparently research from the University of Arizona (published in the journal of Social and Clinical Psychology) found that divorced partners who slip back into the marital bed find sex can actually lessen the pain of the break-up. No kidding… We even have the UK sex expert Tracey Cox agreeing with this idea that sex with an ex can provide closure. Seriously?

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

Dating After Divorce…

I’m often asked: ‘When is a good time to start dating?’ One of the difficulties women face when they’re ready to start dating is where and how to start. Starting too soon or for the wrong reasons is not going to help re-build your self-confidence or help you become open to new intimate relationships. Let’s not overlook the fact that you may be the one who wanted the divorce because you were already in a relationship with someone else. I suggest you start by simply getting together with friends or work colleagues for fun, relaxation and enjoyment.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

Some Principles of Keeping Love Alive…

I am sometimes really frustrated that the education system today does not prepare us for what it TRULY takes to make a romantic relationship work in the long-term. I wish that I had known some of these principles before I got married. Unfortunately I had to make all the mistakes before I learnt all of these lessons for the future. I had to develop some compassion for myself because I really didn’t have the insights I have today back when I actually needed them.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

The danger of suppression: Don’t bottle up your emotions

Any serious scientist will be familiar with the assertion that stress causes immune-compromise. A recent study by researchers at Harvard School of Public Health has finally put this long-held knowledge into perspective, deciphering that those who bottle up their feelings have a cardiovascular disease risk of 140 per cent and a risk of cancer of 170 per cent when compared to individuals who share how they feel. Overall, the risk of premature death for those who keep their negative feelings to themselves is around 135 per cent that of individuals unafraid to speak their minds.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

How lack of concentration kills our ability to focus the mind on healing

How do you focus your mind in an era of multiple distractions? We are living in an era of an information overload. Vast varieties of technology everywhere we look, that it has become essential to one’s survival or so it sometimes seems. An average employee receives thousands of interruptions every day, from instant messages and texts, e-mails and internet calls to the good old regular telephone ringing.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

How listening to music can help healing

Music is – The art or science of combining vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion. Music is an incredible aspect of life that is quite often not recognised of it true potential and value it holds. According to an article on “Mail Online” Easy listening and classical music were the top choices for surgeons and patients taking part in a new study at the John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

Instant Gratification BUT what IS best for me? PART II

As human beings we can tend to become fascinated by ourselves and our stories and can allow ourselves to become too self-indulgent and it can be destructive. As long as we recognise the vision of where we want and need to be and what it takes to get there, the time that you determine it to take is essentially up to you.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

Your divorce: Are you an Eeyore or a Tigger?

I remember my first Pooh bear book when I was a kid. I loved it to death and pawed at the pages on a daily basis. I was so in love with the characters that when it came time to find ways to earn money for my school as a debutante, I even wrote and directed a play which starred almost my whole school when I was 16. Those were the days… If you have never read A.A. Milne’s classic tales of a bear and friends – allow me to enlighten you. Tigger

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

Trying to score points against your ex VS focusing on winning the overall game!

CHESS: Chess is a game of strategy and tactics, a game to take out your opponents pieces until you take them all and then attack their king. This is in no way what break ups or divorce should ever be about but sadly enough it is the reality of so many couples today. Instead of focusing on taking pieces of your opponent you should be focusing on winning the overall game. Which any player would say is much more rewarding in the long run.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

You are stronger than you think…

Just like the picture, finding your strength and realising your attributes are found through the struggles and the pain in life. Not when things are easy and you FEEL you are at your strongest. It is through the weak moments that you learn and become stronger because of those circumstances. A bag of Tea may look exactly the same as every other teabag in the box and you can make your judgements and assume which is the strongest, but you will never know or understand until it is placed in the hot water and you experience it and taste it for yourself.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
1,687 views2/5 (1)
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

Contemplating divorce? Early, important financial considerations

My good friend Hannah Foxley from the Women’s Wealth Expert (www.thewomenswealthexpert.co.uk) has written a corker of an article on things to consider financially before divorcing. Here are some tips written by her hand. Get ready for some good info… In the emotional haze of early divorce proceedings it is often difficult to make clear decisions about what needs to be done immediately with regard to the finances. Here are seven important financial considerations you need to think about from the outset.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

So, how do you heal anger when you want to rip someone’s head off?

What do you do when you are SO angry you want to rip someone’s head off? You actually think you COULD drown your kids or bash someone with your shopping trolley and you are not sure how to control it. In those moments, if another hippy tells you “you need to relax” or recommends that you try yoga or meditation, you feel like you just might shove a carrot into their mouth and light it. What now? You are TOO angry for yoga or meditation – but it’s probably what you need. Right?

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

Rise of the DIY divorce…

Couples who are somewhat impoverished are causing court chaos by representing themselves in the midst of cutbacks. According to the Daily mail; the recession and upcoming cuts to legal aid are putting immense pressure on family courts as these couples increasingly represent themselves. I will therefore write a little post of pure commentary on this issue as there are repercussions to the recession for sure!

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that got you there…

Ever been stuck in a situation or a problem but not known how to get out of it? Life throws us lots of different hurdles and hiccups along the way and people disappoint us and we disappoint ourselves. But our biggest mistake is not when we first make that mistake, because our past can determine who we are today. That can be what makes us grow into our true characters and help us find and define our strength. But the biggest mistake I believe we can make is our failure to learn from them and our failure to let go of the past.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

NO FAULT DIVORCE – what does this mean to us?

Instant rewards and instant healing has a much nicer ring to it, then the words combined; LONG – TERM. However if waiting that particular extended time will further HELP in the long run it stirs the question if waiting is more worthwhile. But how do you determine what works best for you?

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

War of the Roses

The War of the Roses was a civil war in England. Where the thirty years of warfare were even more destructive to England than the Hundred Years war had been in the previous century. With the Petty disputes that occur between partners throughout a Divorce these days it seems necessary to title this article with such a name.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

The REAL cost of divorce

Divorce in many cases is becoming a fast route to poverty. Not only does divorce often bring a severe heartbreak that can take a vast time to heal. Research shows that people are not healing from divorce. > The 2nd marriage divorce rate is 53%rn> 3rd marriage divorce rate is 72% andrn> 4th marriage divorce rate is 84% Each year about 1.2 million couples get divorced in the US vs 120,000 in the UK, costing taxpayers an estimated $30 billion in Federal and state expenditures (Schramm, 2006).

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

What are some of the common feelings when experiencing a shock divorce?

My name is Adèle and I am a Divorce Angel. I remember the first four days after my husband left. They were brutal. At 02:30 am I was on my third glass of wine and hadn’t eaten in three days. I had been in my pyjamas for 36 hours straight and had chain-smoked 40 cigarettes (and I’m not even a smoker!). There was a pile of laundry on the couch waiting to be ironed and used tissues everywhere. The house was in absolute chaos and I didn’t feel like doing anything. I wasn’t answering my phone or talking to my family or anyone else.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
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By Adele TheronRecently published1 topic

Why your friends and family are sometimes the worst support during your divorce

Although your friends and family are an important part of your life, you may find that they’re ill-equipped to support you through your loss. I found that even though my friends and family were well meaning, they often said or did things that were inappropriate. Whenever we hung out together, my friends would try to distract me from the pai I was feeling, invalidating my emotions and my right to feel lousy. I’d leave feeling superficially better but also feeling as if I’d moved 2 steps backwards. I soon realized that I’d have to get divorce support elsewhere.

Primary topic: Divorce
Divorce
1,532 views5/5 (2)
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