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Browse every published article connected to Heidi Cornelissen, with exact attribution and full-archive search.
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Browse every published article connected to Heidi Cornelissen, or search within this exact expert archive.
I recently had a conversation with a friend who shared with me a better solution for how another friend should have planned her day. My response was that I use enough energy to plan my own life – I don’t have the time or inclination to work out how others could have done things better, especially if not asked.
The personal development industry has grown in the last number of years. More and more people are starting to understand the importance of “growing yourself in order to grow your world”. Many aspects of personal development work are designed around WHAT you want in life. You’re encouraged to set goals, create vision boards; keep a cheque for $1 million dollars in your wallet and so forth. Is Personal development work being translated into being successful? And does success always involve money? Or is success whatever you want it to be? Could it be called wellbeing?
Oh – and company. In fact, I already do this – and even more than one mile. I belong to a Saturday morning walking group that meets early in the morning before the heat (in summer) and the rain (in winter) sets in. We actually walk 5 miles before we’re ‘allowed’ to have coffee – arguably the actual reason we dutifully walk each week. Our regular coffee place easily has the best coffee in Perth. The queues out the door and the expanding premises will attest to this fact.
There is a new Australian TV series called “Spirited’ which illustrates a relationship of sorts, betwee Henry (a ghost) and Suzy (the only person who can see him). Henry is trapped in ghost-format in Suzy’s apartment because it appears he needs to resolve some life issues still. He’s stuck in this particular building, being not alive, but also not quite dead. This couple have interesting and odd interactions, with him being inadvertently part of her family dramas (because he can’t go anywhere!). She then learns from him in return, as is demonstrated in their following conversation:
I forgot a friend’s birthday this month. A friend that I’ve known for over 20 years. I really have no excuse, as it just so happens that 7 birthdays of close friends and family fall in the first week of January. So I’m usually prepared for this week and quite aware of each birthday on each day. But this year, I slipped up with her birthday which fell on the Saturday. So, early on the Sunday morning (my time) I received a text message asking, “Are you OK? Just wondering why you forgot my birthday.” I felt terrible!
Today (May 31st) is officially ‘Quit Facebook Day’ - and with Facebook continually in the media gathering the popularity (or notoriety) that it has, I’ve started to wonder what it’s really all about. Facebook, being everywhere, is now part and parcel of our society today. Most organisations and people want you to ‘befriend’ them or ‘like them’ (with the ‘fan’ option no longer being available!). The power and influence of social networking can no longer be denied – and Facebook seems to be the Big Mamma. It was launched in February 2004, by Mark Zuckerberg.
Sitting in a coffee shop last week with a friend we watched as an elderly lady shuffled in. She looked disoriented and slowly glanced over the group of people sitting at the tables. We caught her eye and she unsteadily made her way towards us. “Are you OK?” we asked. “I’m looking for St John of God hospital,” she replied. Together we gave her directions and watched as she absorbed them and made her way back to her car. We continued to watch her unsure of what to do to help her further.
I have an addiction. A public addiction. I watch American Idol – despite being a few years (er.. decades) beyond the target audience. This may be justification, but the main reaso I enjoy it so much is seeing the personal transformation each individual goes through (Internally and exte ally) The seemingly ‘lost’ auditionee is seldom the same when he/she leaves the show once voted off. The winners and finalists have usually developed into ‘fuller’, more resilient people in awe of their life (and of themselves).
I started writing this article on the drive down to Busselton for the Half-Ironman event this weekend. Being the day before the event, the conversations in the car milled around the usual topics that pre-race jitters bring up: training dramas; personal timing; event pacing; food need before and during the event; the respective cut-off times and tips for doing the quickest transitions… A group of us travelled in convoy and this has reminded me of my running days of old – travelling to the larger events away from home.
It’s Christmas Time – or ‘the holidays’ – or the Festive Season. Whatever you choose to call it, it’s a time of the year that has significance in our calendar. Robert Holden said that it’s a time when your life seems to come under a magnifying glass. You tend to ask questions of yourself and perhaps even have questions asked of you. Besides the practical questions such as “What are you doing for Christmas?” or “What do you want for Christmas?” there are the ‘bigger’ questions like, “What kind of year did you have?” and “Have you started thinking about what you want from next year yet?”r
A number of months ago, while duty-free shopping at Singapore airport, my husband said to me, “Choose yourself some perfumes. I’ll buy them for you.” “How many?” I responded excitedly. “Whatever you want,” he casually responded browsing the aisles. Greedily I grabbed a basket and started piling it with my favourites, even engaging a shop assistant to introduce me to new items. As my basket filled, I looked down at them and wondered, “Why do I need so many?” and even more incredulously, “Why do I need them all NOW?”
I’m watching ‘American Idol’ again and am often asked WHY in astonishment. The show remains a great metaphor for how to create your life and actively participate in it – according to your dream. Stephen Covey says to begin with the end in mind. All the kids dream of being the ‘next American Idol’ – that is their end – but they have to start somewhere. And they all line up for auditions amidst the thousands of others. What is your dream? I see so many clients who want either: • A relationship • More money • Successful business • A purpose and meaning
Spring is by far my favourite season. It signifies new beginnings, longer days, green shoots, buds and leaves. New life is forming everywhere. I wait for Spring throughout winter. I feel like I come out hibe ation in some ways. Some of the specialness about Spring relates to both hope and renewal. I see more people along the beach walking and running, taking up exercise regimes once again. Activity seems to have kicked up a gear and people recover the missing spring in their step. Your outer world is physically changing as it prepares for summer – but how is your inner world reacting?r
I forgot a friend’s birthday this month. A friend that I’ve known for over 20 years. I really have no excuse, as it just so happens that 7 birthdays of close friends and family fall in the first week of January. So I’m usually prepared for this week and quite aware of each birthday on each day. But this year, I slipped up with her birthday which fell on the Saturday. So, early on the Sunday morning (my time) I received a text message asking, “Are you OK? Just wondering why you forgot my birthday.” I felt terrible! But at the same time also a little in awe at her response.
I often tell a story about a grandmother who once told me, “I don’t need Life-Coaching as I’ve finally learned to say NO. Especially to my family!” I laughed at this comment, appreciating the inherent wisdom in it. The ability to say no, with suitable assertiveness, compassion and respect is a skill.
Being exposed to so many things American most us know that this time of the year is celebrated with Thanksgiving in the US. This modern holiday traces its origins from a 1621 celebration at the Plymouth Plantation, where the Plymouth settlers held a harvest feast celebrating a successful growing season, after previous brutal winters. And now we know Thanksgiving as a holiday to express thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation to God, family and friends for blessings of both material possessions and relationships. Giving thanks can be broken down into two aspects:
I recently spent a week in the African bush re-experiencing things that I’d almost forgotten about. Bush safari experiences are special for me as I’m transported into a different world. A world where man is insignificant and nature rules. This magic world, once again, showed me insights of which I’ll share a few with you. 1. Timing is Diviner
Within a short space of time I’ve experienced two extreme contrasts. The simple family home life of a Cambodian Tuk-Tuk driver as well as the pomp and ceremony of the Mardi Gras in Sydney. The poverty and simplicity on the one hand and a lavish parade highlighting the need for human rights and equality.
During January I encountered numerous people in the throes of huge life change, such as:rn- changing or losing jobs - starting own businesses - babies born to first time parents On a much smaller scale, I joined a new, large gym and caught myself feeling slightly out of sorts about my first day there.
After spending three weeks in Vietnam and Cambodia a single word that really stands out for me is contrast. Contrast within each country as well as to ours. Travelling in a group of course also presents contrasting personalities. I took this opportunity (and there always is one) to learn from others.
Wow! 2012. I feel like I’ve lived a year already in only two months. And from what I’m hearing, I’m not the only one. This year is turning out to be vibrant, satisfying and full of change. We’re starting a family in a couple of months and have bought a new home. I’ve written and submitted a novel and also created some new product. It’s all very exciting and abundant. How busy is your year? Are you experiencing a lot of new things at the moment?
I once heard a comment passed between friends ‘Just wait till you have kids of your own and you’ll be moaning about your husband like the rest of us.” Although the comment was said in jest, I was still a little surprised at it and wondered when we’d gotten so passive about our lives. • Surely just because some change occurs in your life, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re forced to settle for less elsewhere? • Surely life hasn’t become so linear that we can predict that because of one action, another one will occur? • Are all our lives the same?r
Walking into Kylie Minogue’s concert a few evenings ago, I walked past two teenage girls stepping into a floodlit area. “Hey! Look at my shadow!” the one shouted excitedly to her friend, as they played with the way the lights fell around them. Being a coach who works a lot with the shadow self, I got excited at a possible wider concept of that statement. Imagine if we as adults were comfortable enough with ourselves to excitedly say to one another, “Hey, look at my shadow. This is my selfish side!” or “Hey, look at my shadow. This is my lazy side!” orr
A friend of mine takes her two-year old daughter to dance classes on a Monday. Reports are that although she’s not particularly good at dancing, she loves the activity and the classes. She lets herself do whatever she pleases on the ‘dance floor’ and laughs at herself. My friend gets just as much joy out of watching her daughter move awkwardly, but joyfully amongst the other toddlers. I have a number of clients who have reached a stage in their life with questions of “What now?” or “There must be more to life, surely?”
I recently saw a wonderful example demonstrating the limitations we experience if we live by perception and projection alone. I was reminded of how misguided and often, judgmental they can be. A member of the audience was upset at how one of the workshop leaders had spoken to another member of the group. This particular member responded, a little surprised, with the words, “It was me he spoke to, and I didn’t even notice what he said. I thought it was great!”
I babysat a friend’s 16-month old daughter on Saturday night. Being inexperienced in this realm, there’s always a smidgen of anxiety regrading this responsibility, but Lauren made it easy for me. She’s not yet able to talk properly, but can definitely demonstrate what she wants! • She wanted a slide flipped over to the step-side for her to be able to climb up into her play-gym. She kept tugging at it until I understood and turned it around. She then bounded up the steps happily.r
“I lead a small life, but a valuable one. Do I do it because I like it – or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of what I read in a book – and I wonder, ‘Shouldn’t it be the other way round?’” These are the words Meg Ryan sends to her online friend in the movie, “You’ve Got Mail”. I recently watched this movie again and this time thoroughly enjoyed it. New and open-minded eyes see things differently! The story of the movie continues in that Meg Ryan is forced out of business (a small, intimate bookshop) by a mighty empirical book chain-store.r