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142 articles by Karla Downing · showing 50

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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

4 Steps to Let Go of Denial - Christian Relationship Help

Are you looking for Christian relationship help? This article offers 4 steps to let go of denial. A friend of mine complained that her college daughter didn't act responsibly while in Hawaii on her parent-paid vacation. The expectation was that she would call home regularly and not get into trouble. She didn't call home and she got into trouble. Her parents were disappointed, shocked, upset, and angry that they had given her the trip.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Abuse: Five Signs That You Are Dating An Abusive Man

Abuse in relationships is all too common. Once you are in a committed relationship with someone who is abusive, you will find that it is harder to get out of it than when you are dating. This is because you begin to experience a crisis of self-doubt and low self-esteem the longer you are in the relationship. The best thing to do is to pay attention to signs that you are dating an abusive man and end the relationship as soon as you figure it out. Here are five signs that you are dating an abusive man:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Five Signs You Are Enabling Your Parents

This Christian relationship help will give you five signs that you are your enabling parents. 2 Corinthians 12:14 says, "After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children" (NIV). You don't anticipate having to make difficult choices as an adult as to what you will and won't do for your parents because you assume that as adults they will take care of themselves. Yet, many adult children are facing difficult decisions on how to help or not help parents who are making bad choices with their own lives.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Identify Four Misbeliefs You Need to Change to Detach From False Guilt - Christian Codependency

Here's another help to overcome Christian codependency: Identify four common misbeliefs you need to change to detach from false guilt. Guilt is meant to help us identify when we have done something wrong. Guilt can be experienced as a physical pain, a nagging sense that something is wrong, a strong feeling that won't go away, a mental conviction, or a prickling of the conscience. Because guilt is associated with the assumption that we have done wrong, we assume that whenever we encounter guilt that it means we are guilty. This isn't necessarily true.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency - How to Detach and Still Stay Engaged in the Relationship

This article addresses Christian codependency by showing you how to detach and still stay engaged in the relationship. Detachment is the opposite of being attached or enmeshed. It is similar to differentiation or individuation where it is implied that you have a separateness that allows you to be who you are in the midst of a relationship. It is the opposite of Christian codependency where you are so dependent on another that you are unable to feel, be, choose, think and act independently to live your own life and feel overly responsible for others' choices.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Marriage Help: Boundaries With Sex for Christian Wives

Are you looking for Christian marriage help regarding boundaries with sex in your relationship with your husband? If you believe you can't say no, are uncomfortable with your husband's sexual requests, find yourself disliking or avoiding sex, or are upset with your husband looking at pornography, then this article will give you the answers you are looking for. Here are four boundaries you can have with sex.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Does God Want You To Be Codependent?

Are you looking for help for your Christian codependency? If so, do you wonder if God wants you to be codependent? Christian codependents tend to overly give, ignore their own needs, tolerate mistreatment, and lose themselves while believing God is pleased with them. Many of the beliefs people commonly hold about what the Bible teaches about relationships appear to support the view that God wants us to be codependent. These four Scriptural teachings are often taken out of context and applied in ways that are unhealthy and unbalanced:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

When Does a Relationship Qualify As Abusive? What Are Boundaries That Must Not Be Crossed

When does a relationship qualify as abusive? One of the ways to answer that question is to look at boundaries that must never be crossed. Boundaries are intended to protect you as a valued person in a relationship. There are four boundaries that abusive people violate because they do not see you as a separate person with rights:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians And Divorce - Grieve The Loss Of The Good Stuff

One of the things Christians need to do when they divorce is to grieve the loss of the marriage. Whether you wanted the marriage to end or not, it wasn't all bad. Your ex-spouse has some good qualities. You have some good memories. You've lost the intact family and even if it wasn't perfect, it was still a family. You may convince yourself that being rid of the problems, pain, and stress has some benefits. But, what do you do with the good stuff? You have to gain a perspective that enables you to find a place for the good stuff that doesn't negate the bad.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: How to Honor and Respect Parents Who Aren't Honorable or Respectable

Are you looking for Christian relationship help to guide you in how to honor and respect parents who aren't honorable or respectable? One of the Ten Commandments given by God is to honor your mother and father and it came with the promise that the Israelites would live long in their land (Exodus 20:12). "Honor" means to show proper respect and value. It isn't difficult to figure out how to honor and respect parents that behave honorably and respectably, but how do you honor and respect parents that don't act that way?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Why Relationships With Narcissists Are Difficult

This Christian relationship help will enable you to understand why relationships with narcissists are difficult. Good relationships have balance. There is give and take that attempts to meet the needs of both people (Philippians 2:4). In contrast, relationships with narcissists focus around meeting the needs of the narcissist. Here are the reasons why the relationship isn't easy:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Was Jesus a Codependent?

Are you looking for help with Christian codependency? If you are, you are probably interested in knowing if Jesus was a codependent. Many would answer "Yes" based on the following characteristics of Jesus that are typical of codependents: -Jesus was selfless.rn-Jesus was a servant.rn-Jesus gave up his life for others.rn-Jesus cared deeply about people who were hurting.rn-Jesus tried to fix hurting people.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

9 Relationship Red Flags - What Not to Overlook, Excuse, Or Deny

These 9 Relationship Red Flags have the potential of being overlooked, excused, or denied. All are reasons to stop, look, and listen to what is going on and carefully consider whether or not you should continue in the relationship. All have the potential of desensitizing you to their affects the longer you are in the relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Changing the Beliefs Underlying False Guilt

Are you struggling with Christian codependency? If you answered yes, then you probably experience feeling guilty often in your relationships. Codependents struggle with guilt in relationships because they hold untrue beliefs about relationships. They need to change their inaccurate beliefs about relationships to the following true beliefs:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: 10 Things Codependents Must Do to Change

There are 10 things Christian codependents must do to change the patterns that keep them reacting codependently in life and relationships. If you are a codependent, you live your life focusing on other people. In order to change, you must take the focus off others and put the focus onto your own life by doing the following 10 things:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help - Speaking The Truth Even When Others Disagree

Are you looking for Christian relationship help because you struggle with speaking the truth in your relationships? Then, this biblical truth and tip will help you. It is especially problematic to communicate your perceptions, feelings, choices, needs, and beliefs to difficult people. One of the misconceptions we have is thinking that we have to get the other person to agree with our truth. This keeps us in a place where we are stuck and unable to move on when the person doesn't agree with us. We react by arguing, nagging, threatening, lecturing, and re-explaining.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Speaking The Truth In Love - Know Your Truth First

Do you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by helping you to know your truth first. Is it possible to speak too soon? Yes. If you aren't fully convinced of your stance, beliefs, and perceptions, then you will be speaking too soon. Before you speak, you need to know what your truth is so you can stand firm in it and not be swayed by the reaction of the listener.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Releasing Your Prodigal Child God's Way

If you have a prodigal child, releasing isn't your first response. Your first response is to hold on tighter and try to force change any way possible. God has prodigal children too. He feels the same about them as you do yours. Releasing your prodigal child God's way is healthier than holding on and trying to control. Here is how God deals with this problem:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

How to Decide Your Boundaries When You're Asked to Help - Christian Codependency

Here's an important tool in overcoming Christian codependency: When you are asked to help, you can decide what your boundaries are by considering these five things rather than thinking you have to do everything you are asked to do and becoming resentful. Halley decided to lend her sister money knowing there was a chance her sister wouldn't pay her back and knowing her sister made bad choices with money, because it was just too uncomfortable for her to say no. A few weeks later, Halley began to get angry and resentful toward her sister for pressuring her for money.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Dysfunctional Families: How to Take Care of Your Children in the Midst of The Dysfunction - Part One

If you are in a dysfunctional marriage and have children, you have a dysfunctional family. This article is the first in a series to show you how to take care of your children in the midst of the dysfunction. Few things cause as much pain, anguish, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, and frustration as seeing your children hurting. You want good things for your children. Matthew 7:9 says, "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?"

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Divorce - The Grief Process Applied to Divorce

Christians divorce as much as non-Christians. Divorce is one of the most painful experiences people go through. It is like having gangrene and being told by the doctor that you have to cut off your arm. You don't want to, but you know you have no choice. You do what you have to do and yet the adjustment to living life without your arm will be lengthy and your life will never quite be the same, although you will eventually heal and adjust and accept life without your arm.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Actions Matter More Than Words In Your Difficult Relationship

This Christian relationship help will show you that actions matter more than words in your difficult relationship. Difficult relationships are with difficult people and difficult people tend to say one thing but do something else. It is confusing when someone's actions don't match the words, but for some reason, people tend to believe the words instead of the actions. This is a mistake.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Helping Those That Won't Help Themselves

There are many facets to Christian codependency. One of them is that there are some people who refuse to help themselves. Martyrs suffer because they get a payoff: They feed an image that says, "I don't deserve anything better, so I'll continue to endure this." Along with the martyr stroking his or her self-esteem for being so willing to suffer, comes the abrogation of responsibility, which says, "I don't have any choice." Other people aren't willing to make an effort to help themselves out of laziness and irresponsibility. So how do you help those who won't help themselves?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Marriage Help: Change Yourself, Not Your Spouse

This Christian marriage help will enable you to take back your power to change your life whether your husband or wife changes or not. The problems in your marriage are real and the changes you want your spouse to make are most likely reasonable. The dilemma that you have is that you can't make him or her change and as long as you are waiting for change and pushing for change, you are stuck in the same patterns.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Four Things to Do to Stop Triangulating in Your Relationships

If you are looking for help with your Christian codependency, this article will help you by providing four things to do to stop triangulating in your relationships. You triangulate when you enter into a relationship dynamic between two other people in an attempt to fix the problem. Here are some things you may do that are triangulating: • Holding a resentment toward or punishing someone for what is done to another. • Speaking for someone rather than letting the person speak for himself/herself.r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Boundaries: Five Causes of Weak Boundaries

Christians need boundaries but often don't have them in their relationships. Here are five causes of weak boundaries: 1. You were raised in a dysfunctional home where boundaries weren't modeled. As a result, you don't know what healthy boundaries are and don't recognize that you need to have them. You may believe that a wife submits to her husband in everything and isn't entitled to say no. You may believe that a husband loves by tolerating and overlooking everything. You may believe that a parent shows love by saying yes to everything.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

How to Be a Good Christian Wife

Are you looking for guidance on how to be a good Christian wife? If so, here are seven things you simply must do. 1. Pray for your husband. The world is a difficult place for a man. They are competing in the marketplace for jobs, feeling the weight of the financial burden of providing for a family, and having to deal with many stressors beyond their control. They are also in a world that increasingly assaults their masculinity.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Overcoming Christian Codependency - Four Truths To Determine When To Put Yourself Before Others

When overcoming Christian codependency, how do you know when you should put your needs or the other person's needs first? By applying these four truths: 1.You have to stay emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally healthy. Ephesians 5:29 "After all, no one ever hates his own body, but he feeds and cares for it" (NIV).r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Marriage Help: Five Causes of Weak Marital Boundaries

Are you looking for Christian marriage help to enable you to have stronger boundaries? If you have difficulty setting boundaries in your marriage you are probably tolerating more than you should and allowing yourself to be disrespected. Boundaries are simply what you will and won't do and when communicated to your husband give him feedback on how you want to be treated. Here are five causes of weak marital boundaries:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: How Anxiety in Difficult Relationships Contributes to the Dysfunction

Are you looking for Christian relationship help to enable you to understand how anxiety in difficult relationships contributes to the dysfunction? Then this article will help you. Anxiety is a sense of disquiet or dis-ease that is experienced as mental or emotional distress. Anxiety isn't comfortable and people usually react to get rid of the anxiety that comes from all types of problems in difficult relationships.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Answers to Questions About Dealing With Alcoholism

This Christian relationship help gives you answers to questions about dealing with alcoholism. There are many dilemmas you deal with when someone you care about that drinks too much. Proverbs 20:1 says, "Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise" (NIV). It is true that drinkers make many foolish choices that affect their lives and their loved ones lives negatively.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Parenting: Three Things Parents Do That Ensures Irresponsible Entitled Adult Children

Are you looking for Christian parenting help on how to raise responsible children? There is an epidemic of irresponsible adult children that need help from their parents well into adulthood. While there are justifiable reasons for this such as a bad economy, the high cost of living, the increase in college tuition, there are also plenty of unjustified reasons such as laziness, addictions, irresponsible decisions, and a lack of maturity. Prevention is always the best policy.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Five Signs You Are Enabling Your Adult Child

Are you wondering if you are enabling your adult child? These five signs will help you to determine whether or not you are helping or hurting. "Enabling" means that your action allows someone to continue to do something they otherwise couldn't do without it. It is also doing something for others that they should be doing for themselves.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Four Ways to Respond to Passive Aggressive Behavior

This Christian relationship help will provide you with four ways to respond to passive aggressive behavior in the people you interact with. The closer a person is to you, the more the passive aggressive behavior will be problematic. Jesus warned us to be on guard against people who will attempt to manipulate, harm, outmaneuver, and abuse us.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Five Characteristics of a Narcissist

This Christian relationship help will enable you to recognize five characteristics of a narcissist. Narcissism is difficult to deal with in relationships and recognizing it will enable you to respond differently to it. Jesus was constantly aware of what was in the heart of the people he dealt with. He knew when people were willing to hurt him, when people were insincere, when people were manipulating him, and when people were pretending. You need to know who you are dealing with so you can respond in a way that is wise. Here are five characteristics of a narcissist:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Parenting: How To Teach Your Son To Respect Women

It is your job as a parent to teach your children. Much of this teaching has to be intentional. One of the things that you must be conscious of is how to teach your son to respect women. God created men and women to be different but not to be any less valuable. Throughout history, women have been controlled, abused, and mistreated by men. The church needs to follow Jesus' example and treat women as equals that deserve to be treated with respect. Do the following things:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Causes of Anxiety in Relationships

Are you looking for Christian relationship help to understand the various causes of anxiety in relationships? Anxiety is mental or emotional distress or uneasiness because of an underlying fear. Relationships evoke deep emotional reactions-many of which we don't really identify fully. These emotional reactions are often experienced as mild to severe anxiety. Here are eight common causes of anxiety in relationships and their underlying beliefs:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Prodigals: Components of a Healthy Parent to Adult-Child Relationship

Are you wondering what your relationship should be like with your adult child? When you raise your minor children, you focus on training, discipline, and obedience. When your child becomes an adult, the relationship between you changes. If your child is a prodigal because he/she is doing things you feel aren't good or is more estranged from you then you would like, your focus is probably on what you would like to see changed. Even if your child isn't living like you want, you can strive to have these components of a healthy parent to adult-child relationship:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Marriage Help: Wives Believe Internet Pornography Is Cheating

Are you looking for Christian marriage help because you are a wife that believes internet pornography is cheating? "Internet cheating" is rampant even with men in the church. It includes viewing pornography, engaging in chat room conversations, sending personal pictures online, and self-stimulating while engaging in one of these activities. Women do not like their husbands engaging in this internet cheating and have the following emotional reactions:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
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