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During the 30 years I've been working with people to help them reach their goals, I've found that one of the greatest obstacles to their success is "emotional clutter." Getting rid of emotional clutter is one of the fastest ways to empower your success. Emotional clutter consists of negative ...
I find it fascinating to listen when people are really talking about something about which they feel passionately. Their voice becomes stronger. They speak more rapidly. Sometimes they speak louder. Their voice quality changes in a way that moves the words they are saying from their mouth, into their throat, and then to their chest. My impression is always that the words are now coming from their heart. The transformation is pretty remarkable. Ordinary conversations turn into passionate speeches. The difference is that their passion has been ignited.
This is a time to look inside, to take stock of my blessings, and move forward into new and exciting things to come. One of the biggest shifts in my life in the last several years has been that I now do this assessment in a different way. Like a lot of my clients, I used to focus on my ...
Emotions are normal. They aren't right or wrong, they just ARE. We feel them in response to things that happen to us. The type of emotion we feel depends on the kind of experience we've had. The problem with emotions is that often we carry around old emotions from past experiences. We're ...
Most of us are familiar with physical clutter. Physical clutter consists of all those things we hang onto which we no longer need, no longer want, and which lead to confusion or disorder in our physical environment. I use the term "emotional clutter" (or sometimes "mental clutter") to refer to those emotions, memories and remnants that we hang on to from our past experiences; those things that end up getting in our way and causing disorder in our lives.
I frequently work with people who want greater meaning in their lives. They want their lives to count. Sometimes they are bored; sometimes they feel trapped by their everyday life; sometimes they just want to find greater happiness or meaning. This has lead me to think about the importance of connecting with your passion, and taking advantage of opportunities that will help you live fully.
If you've been plagued by a problem in your life, especially if you've had that problem for a long time, you might assume that you'd be eager to get rid of it. You would think so, but actually, when you get right down to it, the contrary is often more true. People get used to having their problem, even though it is uncomfortable and they’d like to get rid of it. You see, they may KNOW how to be depressed, or poor, or sick. Feeling those feelings, although uncomfortable, are familiar. Contemplating something else is a bit scary.
I used to think that there was a Road to Happiness, and if you could get on that road, you'd end up someplace pretty wonderful, as if Happiness were the destination. I've been on a lot of roads, and although some of them lead to some beautiful places, I've yet to find the road that brings me to ...
For some people, the holiday season is very stressful. People stress over not having enough time to prepare the way they'd like or not having enough money to buy the presents they'd like. Social demands and expectations family members may have contribute to the stress of the season. Not only do people end up in debt, they may end up frustrated, angry or depressed because of the stresses the holidays bring. The stresses of the holiday season often take their toll on us in three areas: Time/Energy; Financial and Emotional. Time/Energy refers to the demands upon your time and energy.
I have long been a believe in the importance of having the right resources. That's why I named my business the Inner Resource Center. I have long believed that you can accomplish anything if you have the right tools. In fact, with the right resources, you can transform your life. And you can do it easily and nearly effortlessly. Each of us needs to find the resources that are right for us and right for the task at hand. Sometimes we need information; sometimes we need guidance from a specialist. Sometimes we need only to tap into the resources inside of us.
We have all had the experience of feeling "stuck" at some time or another in our lives or in our careers. No matter what we try to do, nothing seems to work. We spin our wheels and expend our energy, but don't seem to get where we want to go. When we feel stuck, we are often seeing our situation from a particular perspective. Our focus is on our specific planned approach, a particular outcome we want to achieve, and/or how we want others in the equation to behave. When things do not go as planned, it can be frustrating.
More and more lately I hear people talking about being "authentic." I'm not sure if it has become a buzz word, or if people are really craving honesty and the kind of connection that can come when two people are authentic with each other. I suspect that many people have become aware of the roles they play, the masks they wear. They worry that if they were really themselves, friends or coworkers wouldn't approve of them. They pretend to be some way that they think will be acceptable.
Many people feel emotions so intensely that the negative emotions disrupt their lives. They are so depressed, angry, fearful, hurt or guilty that they cannot enjoy their lives and be happy. This is a problem for them, as well as for those with whom they interact. The challenge is figure out what to do about your emotions. Often this means identifying what you are feeling and what to do about it; other times it means letting go of the negative emotion so that you are able to get the lessons from their life experiences and move on. Handling negative emotions is a three step process: 1.
When you've kissed all the frogs you intend to, and have found what you think is the right relationship for you, you'll need to do something to make sure your relationship lasts. Just as you have to water and fertilize flowers in your garden, relationships need to be nurtured in order to thrive. The good news is that it doesn't have to be difficult. There are a number of small things you can do to keep your relationship on track. 1. Don't take your honey for granted. Let him know you appreciate him (or her).
Just as most of us have physical clutter in our lives from time to time (or all the time); most of us have emotional clutter as well. Emotional clutter consists of negative emotions and self-limiting beliefs that we have hung on to long after they have outlived their usefulness. Just like ...
Most of us are in the middle of holiday preparations. Unfortunately, for many of us, it is a time that becomes more and more stressful every year. Holiday stress can negatively affect us in three areas--physically, financially and emotionally. When we are stressed we can become physically ...
If you want to be successful, look around at successful people. How do they achieve their success? There are typically five factors that lead them to their success. First, they dreamed a dream. One of the requirements of being successful is having the desire-–something that drives you to move beyond where you are now. It is all the better if the dream is about doing something you totally love. The excitement, the passion, and compelling nature of that dream serves to motivate you during the hard work to get there.
Most of us have beliefs about money that impact our relationship with it. These beliefs can help us succeed or serve as obstacles. Many times our attitudes and beliefs about money came from our family or our culture. Beliefs that made sense to our parents and grandparents may not really fit us today. These may have become limiting beliefs for us. Take an inventory and brainstorm about your beliefs about money.
I used to think that there was a Road to Happiness, and if you could get on that road, you'd end up someplace pretty wonderful, as if Happiness were the destination. I've been on a lot of roads, and although some of them lead to some beautiful places, I've yet to find the road that brings me to ...
If you are dissatisfied with your progress toward the goals you set, or just dissatisfied with your life in general, you probably need to look at the issue of "self-sabotage." People tend to operate at two levels. They consciously have a direction they want to go, but subconsciously, there may be a conflict. For those who aren't familiar with the terminology, "subconscious" (as I am using the term) refers to the part of you that is usually outside of your awareness.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" Remember that old saying that we used as kids to try to cope with name-calling? It probably wasn't very successful then, and in fact, just isn't true. We now know that words can hurt. We always knew that words could hurt our feelings, but it turns out that words can have a profound effect on our bodies as well. Every cell in our body is eavesdropping on everything we say and everything that is said to us. Studies by Dr.
I used to think that there was a Road to Happiness, and if you could get on that road, you'd end up someplace pretty wonderful, as if Happiness were the destination. I've been on a lot of roads, and although some of them lead to some beautiful places, I've yet to find the road that brings me to ...
I've been working with people for over 30 years now, in all sorts of contexts. Some have seen me for therapy to get over a trauma, or to change how they cope, or to overcome depression or anxiety. Some see me for business coaching, to grow their business and achieve financial security. Some consult me for career coaching, to figure out how to get a more rewarding and satisfying job. It has only recently hit me that all people the people I work with share the same obstacles to their success (O.K., call me a slow learner).
If you have ever felt stuck, you know how frustrating it can be. You want to move forward, but can't seem to get traction. Or you vacillate back and forth between alte ative courses of action, unable to make your decision. In my 30 years of experience helping people get unstuck, I have ...
Years ago, I first heard SARK, an inspirational artist, urge people to "live juicy." I'venalways remembered that, and "juicy" has become a watchword for me. Why not? It nseems to me that living a passionate life, full of excitement, commitment and intense ndrive for a cause, a goal or ...
For people who struggle with time management, clutter reduction is often the first step to having more time in your life. When you simplify your environment and organize your life, it makes tasks go more smoothly, and helps you make the most of your limited time. For me a lack of clutter is like a breath of fresh air. It helps me THINK more clearly. I'm not distracted by "stuff" cluttering up my desk, the floor or my life. It frees up my creative energy, allowing me to approach tasks more directly and move through them more efficiently.
When you are wondering what life is all about, you are searching for its meaning. When you wonder what you've been put on earth to do or be, you are asking about the meaning of your life. When you express the desire to make your life count, you are acknowledging the importance of having a ...
Many people are looking for meaningful relationships. Good relationships can lengthen your life span, impact your health, and bring great satisfaction and joy to your life. But sometimes it can be tough to figure out where to look. When you are looking for a meaningful relationship the key is to start looking in the right places. Here are some tips: 1. Look in places where you are likely to find people who share your beliefs about what is important. For example, if it is important that the person share your religious beliefs, you would most likely find them at church.
One of the biggest struggles all of us have in our modern world has to do with how to manage time. Most of us are so busy, and bombarded with demands on our time. We are overstimulated by choice, and even inventions designed to make us more effective and efficient often become time-stealers. (Think about computers and email, for instance). We struggle to be more productive to no avail. We struggle to find more time, all the while feeling that we have less and less of this precious resource.
Emotional clutter is made up of negative emotions from past experiences, and limiting beliefs that no longer apply to your current situation. Keeping emotional clutter away from you requires vigilance in setting and enforcing your boundaries. Your boundaries help define who you are and what ...
Procrastination is one of the most prevalent forms of self sabotage, and it can be devastating to your relationships, your career and your peace of mind. Procrastination is the habit of putting tasks off to a later time. It isn't just rescheduling tasks; it is a pattern of behavior that has at its heart the desire to avoid something. Usually people procrastinate about tasks that are unpleasant to them, or on tasks that require a lot of time. The reasons people procrastinate are varied and usually unconscious. They may not make logical sense.
Emotions are normal. They aren't right or wrong, they just ARE. We feel them in response to things that happen to us. The type of emotion we feel depends on the kind of experience we've had. The problem with emotions is that often we carry around old emotions from past experiences. We're ...
How good are you at keeping your word? Many of us try very hard to keep our commitments to others. We try to call if we say we will. We make every effort to show up when others are counting on us. We try to get projects done on time. We don't promise things we can't deliver. We want our word to be worth something. That's part of living with integrity. Unfortunately, many of us are not quite as good at keeping our commitments to ourselves. How many times have you said "I'm going to. . ." only to have that intention fall away?
The older I get, the more I am struck by how life surprises us. So often, we'll be going along, living life, when something comes along that was totally unexpected. And everything changes. Sometimes the surprises are fun and exciting–like a job offer when you aren't looking for a new job. ...