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Intimacy, by its very nature, requires us to be vulnerable. Our partner, lover, or mate can know us to our very core, sometimes better than we know ourselves, and that can make anyone feel as though they were totally exposed. Intimacy can be intimidating. However, it is also an amazingly freeing ...
Most of the pain of overwhelming emotion is caused by our struggle against feeling the emotion. We fight against our situation, wishing things were different, being disappointed when our expectations aren’t met, and telling ourselves we shouldn’t be upset, depressed, sad, disappointed, or angry. The next time you feel overwhelmed by intense emotion, try doing the exact opposite of what you normally do: feel the emotion and accept it. Tell yourself, "I’m feeling __________________ right now and it is very uncomfortable.
Do you worry about how other people perceive you? Do you consider yourself an excellent mind reader who knows what others think about you? Maybe you've thought, "He's disgusted by my weight" or "She can tell I feel bad about being short." The truth is no one can read others' minds, and it's ...
Whether you’re a new dad or a dad-to-be, you probably already realize something about fatherhood: it’s the highest of the highs—and the lowest of the lows. You’re on an emotional roller coaster unlike any you’ll ever experience. One moment, you’re beaming, the proud dad of a beautiful newborn. ...
I genuinely believe that in order to create an effective exercise habit, you must think about what you can sustain not for weeks, but for decades. What sort of movement and exercise can you do that you'll enjoy and that won't elicit the mule response? What feels good to your body? In terms of ...
A MINDFUL CHOCOLATE MEDITATION Walk into any grocery store and there’s likely to be a Halloween aisle brimming over with candy. Those who struggle with mindless eating have already begun to wonder how they’ll stay clear of trick-or-treat sweets. Many people find that Halloween ...
• Calcium. This mineral is vital for skeletal mineralization, blood clotting, conduction of nerve impulses, buffering of acidic blood, enzyme activity, and muscle contractions.nnn • Phosphorus. This mineral is important for energy, enzyme activity, muscle contraction, and nerve ...
The science of nutrition includes the significant connections between food and our minds and emotions. The food you eat can affect your emotions. The same research also shows how feelings affect food choices. How does food affect your feelings and vice versa? The next practice allows you to ...
Emotional affairs might begin as friendships, but they don’t stay that way. The friendship becomes transformed, sometimes slowly, sometimes almost immediately, into a fundamentally different relationship. There are distinct differences between friendships and emotional affairs. - An ...
Let’s discuss LOVE: L – Letting go O – Opening up V – ValuingnE – Engaging Let’s now explore each of these elements in more detail: LETTING GO “Letting go” is the escape route from inside-your-mind, one of the elements that DRAIN your relationship. Your mind is like a master storyteller ...
Stop right now and translate your restlessness into productive energy with five simple steps: 1. Stop; stand still and consider opening up to a new perspective. Take a few deep breaths, and put your attention on the feeling of restlessness. 2. Ask yourself, “Where in my body do I feel ...
STRATEGY: PRACTICING THE POSITIVES One way to stock your couple’s psychological first aid kit is to practice some of the strategies, like just being there, active listening, partner care, and identifying needs at low-stress, neutral, and even positive times. The benefits of practicing ...
TREATMENTS FOR A BIO -PSYCHOSOCIAL CONDITION Understanding and treating bipolar disorder requires tuning in to biological, psychological, and social aspects—it is a bio-psychosocial condition. Typically, bipolar disorder is treated with one or more medications plus some type of counseling or ...
In the right context, rules are very useful. We’d be in trouble if we didn’t have rules about which side of the road to drive on, or how fast we can drive, or how much we can drink before we drive. However, rules can be problematic if we hold them too tightly. We can become rigid or inflexible, ...
Let's take a look at our personal, emotional, and spiritual support systems, as they will hold up our physical structure - and not the other way around. What follows is my interpretation and synthesis of the work of many masters, principally the seven levels of judgment of George Ohsawa, ...
The difficulty with quirks in a partner is that, by definition, they are peculiar and idiosyncratic and not commonly shared. This means you are dealing with a behavior, belief, or other trait you may not understand or relate to in any way, which tends to make acceptance of your partner all the ...
Momentum is a powerful force. Once you are in motion, the tendency is to keep moving. And your movements, especially when hurrying and worrying, can be in both body and mind. All you need to stop the momentum of mind and body begins with giving yourself permission to stop. Try this practice ...
I have had many people sit on the therapy couch, look deeply at their partner, and say, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” As the eyes of their other half fill with tears, I explain to both of them that this is not a bad thing. Now they can get down to the business of having a real ...
Now that you’ve learned some of the basics about sleep, let’s take a look at some common myths about sleep that may be contributing to your sleep problems. MYTH 1: Spending more time in bed at night will give me a better chance of falling asleep. Actually, the opposite is true. The longer you ...
Anxiety disorders are a group of psychological disorders characterized by debilitating anxiety that interferes with a person’s functioning. The following explores the connection between starvation eating disorders, core anxiety, weight obsessions, and compulsions. Beyond the relationship between ...
Find a quiet place where you will be relatively free from distractions and unlikely to be bothered by anyone. Sit in a comfortable position. Write down how strong your urge is on a scale from 0 (no urge at all) to 10 (the strongest urge you’ve ever had). Then, write down how much you feel as if ...
After you’ve had herpes for a few weeks or months, the emotions surrounding it sometimes change. You might still have some of the initial ones we talked about, but they’ll tend to fade a bit as you get more information about herpes, in general, and your case, in particular. But now, some new ...
NAME your feelings If you want to handle your feelings effectively, NAME them. NAME is an acronym for: N – NoticenA – AcknowledgenM – Make space E – Expand awareness Let’s go through these steps for handling your feelings, one by one. STEP 1: NOTICE When strong feelings show up, the first ...
The things that can go wrong with your body when your thyroid function is low are so pervasive and extensive it’s startling. So many of the difficulties and indignities we learn to live with, thinking they’re an inevitable part of aging, are actually the result of low thyroid function and are ...
You probably think of stress as bad or negative, but there are times when stress actually helps you. Andrew plays soccer on his school’s team. He tends to get really nervous before a game, and his stomach often feels a little queasy. At the same time, his adrenaline increases and that helps him perform better. If you go beyond that perfect point, the balance tips; the stress gets too great. It begins to decrease your ability to do well and starts to hurt you. Samantha tends to put school assignments off until the last minute.
As psychologist William James said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” To gain mastery over your anxiety, it’s very important that you learn how to challenge automatic thinking, such as catstrophizing and overestimating the ...
Many people are cut off from what their bodies are feeling, unaware of how their emotions manifest physically. Whether you're aware of it or not, emotions often can be first detected in the body. Do you know that different people experience the same emotion differently? When you feel rage, ...
Perhaps the most important application for your listening skills is when you communicate with your partner. A process called reciprocal communication provides a structure in which you can really hear each other. Here's how it works. When you're discussing a topic that is a conflict area for ...
One of the participants in our Mindful Motherhood Training for new moms (I’ll call her Cindy) told us a story about one of those moments that every mom dreads. At the park one day, she and her husband took their toddler and their four-month-old baby in her stroller to the pond to watch the ...
This is a delicious and easy way to prepare squash. If you have any leftovers, they make a great soup. Just puree them in a blender with enough stock or water to reach the consistency of a creamy soup, then heat and season to taste with salt and pepper. 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 1 ...
One late-night talk-show host is famous for his top-ten lists. I hope he won’t mind, but I’m going to borrow his idea. Here’s my top-ten list of questions asked most often about genital herpes. They come from patients at my clinic and from the WebMD message board. And if your question isn’t in ...
The energy flowing between you, your body, and your connections with the body of the world can be consciously appreciated - if you pay close enough attention. Let this practice of mindful listening to a larger body tune you in to the joy of the world. 1. The next time you are part of an ...
You’re Off the Hook Unwittingly, your female forebears passed the carnival mirror self-image down to you, and, unwittingly, or unintentionally, you have passed it down to your daughter. (Many mothers may be sensitive to their influence on their children and still find themselves unable to ...
Several different types of treatment may be helpful for self-harm, including the following:nn+ Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) CBT helps people learn new skills for managing their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. CBT is often a fairly structured treatment, with a clear agenda for each ...
In every situation you’ll encounter as a new mom, whether it is chaotic or mellow, there are three things happening. Examine what’s going on for you right now. You are probably having some thoughts, or your mind is focused on reading and digesting this information. You may be having some ...
INGREDIENTSnn· 2½ cups whole-wheat pastry flour or gluten-free baking flour from garbanzo beansn· ½ cup wheat brann· ½ cup whey protein powdern· ¼ cup ground flaxseedsn· 1 teaspoon baking sodan· ¼ teaspoon baking powdern· 2 teaspoons cinnamonn· ½ teaspoon nutmegn· 3 eggsn· 1 cup xylitoln· ¾ cup ...
The human body is a very complex system. It is a whole much larger than the sum of its parts. And most importantly, all of the parts work together in synergy, and all depend on one another for proper function. Being but one element in this complex system, calcium needs many other nutrients to ...
The negative effects of overwhelming emotions often have more to do with our reaction to the emotion than to the emotion itself. If you feel extreme rage and act on that rage by breaking a window or physically assaulting the person you’re angry at, the problem then becomes the damage you’ve caused rather than the emotion of anger. If you allow the anger to pass through you without reacting to it, there would be no problem. Emotions themselves, even the painful ones, can be neutral and soon pass.
Hopefully, you now have a better idea of where to find information on self-harm, the types of resources that are out there, and some of the treatments for self-harm. Below, we turn our attention to the specific ways in which you can go about finding help in your area, as well as some important ...
There are two types of mindfulness practice: formal and informal. In formal practice, you actually set aside an amount of time and dedicate it to being mindful. Informal practice doesn’t require any extra time; the idea is to bring moment-to-moment awareness to everything you already do, to zero in on what you are doing as you are actually doing it. People often do things without being fully present, as if they were on automatic pilot. Living this way, they cheat themselves out of many moments in their lives.
In every situation you’ll encounter as a new mom, whether it is chaotic or mellow, there are three things happening. Examine what’s going on for you right now. You are probably having some thoughts, or your mind is focused on reading and digesting this information. You may be having some ...
DEFEATING PERFECTIONIST EXTREMES In a perfectionist state of mind, you put yourself on a seesaw. You are up when you do well. You are down when you don’t. So, let’s look at how to clear this perfectionist tarnish from your window on life. Perfectionist thinking is vulnerable to ...
Here are some suggestions to help you get through your chemotherapy treatment. By preventing nausea you can be comfortable, stay well nourished, and feel better sooner. BEFORE TREATMENT It’s not necessary to have an empty stomach before getting chemotherapy. Staying well nourished and well ...
When you’re first diagnosed, you may not even know what questions to ask. And the answer to one question often leads to many more questions about things you may not have considered before. It’s hard to take in a lot of new information when you feel anxious. It’s normal to need information to be ...
Research indicates that a variety of factors can be associated with the onset of manic symptoms (Johnson 2005; Goodwin and Jamison 2007; Bauer 2008a). It is important to recognize such potential triggers because avoiding or reducing exposure to them can reduce the likelihood that manic symptoms ...
How do you relieve stress? Coping with stress requires that you identify and understand the source of your stress and then make a plan for how to reduce the impact of that stressor on your life. The next set of action steps will give you some tools to help you identify stressors, and learn how ...
CHANGING PERCEPTIONS As you gain more understanding of traumatic reactions, your understanding of how they affect your relationship will increase. Gradually your perceptions are likely to change. You may begin to take each other's reactions less personally and with less pain. For example, if ...
For a vegetarian variation, replace the shrimp with cubed seasoned, smoked tofu (available at natural food stores). If you use shrimp, keep the shells for stock; just throw them in a bag in the freezer until you're ready to use them. 4 leaves bok choy 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 2 ...
~ HOW CAN A PERSON USE THEIR DEPRESSION TO CHANGE THEIR LIFE, INSTEAD OF BEING RENDERED POWERLESS BY THE EXPERIENCE? ~n If you can translate your depression into a message that you need to make some changes and set out to discover precisely what those changes are, your depression may prepare ...
Research indicates that a variety of factors can be associated with the onset of depressive symptoms for people with bipolar disorder. It is important to recognize such potential triggers, because avoiding or reducing exposure to them can reduce the likelihood that depressive symptoms will ...