Dear Dr. Romance: I'm struggling with dismissing bad behavior
Dear Dr. Romance:
Primary topic: Relationship Advice
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Dear Dr. Romance:
This arrived in Dr. Romance 's e-mail:
Dr. Romance writes: You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants and needs. If you don’t know how to work together effectively to solve the conflict, the resulting frustration, anger and battles make the relationship more and more unpleasant and difficult to sustain.
Dr. Romance writes: Have you noticed that nagging, whining, complaining, ste ly directing, yelling, criticizing and freaking out don’t seem to get you what you want from a partner, family member, friend, colleague or child? In a previous article, “Asking for What You Want” I explained how to ask cleanly and directly for what you want, and that being direct has a better success rate. While that’s true, it isn’t infallible.
Dr. Romance writes: The founding fathers of our country saw the “pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right – so important they embedded it in the DNA of the United States of America, by writing it into the Preamble to the Constitution. It was a profoundly new idea at the time. With it, they set wheels in motion that have been turning ever since.
Dr. Romance writes:
Despite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I'm grateful. It wasn't always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a PhD, and developing four businesses to do that. I also recovered from an abusive marriage, and now have been happily married for 23 years, and in successful private practice since 1978.
When a relationship that probably began in hope and joy has ended in failure, grief and pain, It's very understandable to be conce ed about repeating an action that was so hurtful. Here are some Happiness Tips for recovering from divorce. Dr. Romance’s 3 tips for letting go of the pain of divorce
Infidelity: 3 Tips on Finances after your Spouse's Girlfriend Has a Child It’s not the first thing everyone thinks of, but the existence of an out-of-wedlock child will have a big economic impact, and the financial responsibility will grow with the child. 1. Unless you can settle with the child’s other parent out of court, court costs can be very expensive.
Dear Dr. Romance:
In a previous article "From Struggling to Solving" I discussed how to get from arguing to solving problems. Getting into the right frame of mind is a great start, but many of my clients also need steps for how to solve problems. Here are three of my most effective tips. How to Have a State of the Union Meeting:
Dear Dr. Romance: I know I feel strongly about a certain someone. Do I surprise her with a gift or e-mail her with my recent feelings through a tough time? Dear Reader:
click here for video It is not necessary to argue about parenting your kids. Couples usually argue about how their parents raised them, and they want to do the same (or the opposite) of what hteir parents did. How Not to Pass Your Family Dysfunction on to your kids:
Dear Dr. Romance: My son is having a substance abuse problem. It surfaced a few months ago, he promised to stop, and I just caught him using it again. He just turned 18. What can I do to help him? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance: My husband and I are always getting into arguments and fights. I am writing to you through someone else's email because if I tell my husband about contacting you we will probably get into a fight. He does not want to go to a therapist or get any type of counseling. Do you think I should tell him anyway? I think about ending the marriage but then I go back thinking it will get better.
Dear Dr. Romance I met a girl about three years ago at work. We both saw a connection, but neither one of us followed up on it. We were both in relationships, she was married. Several months later she told me things weren't good at home and we had started talking. She and I became inseparable. She worked with me all of the time and we spent tons of time together. We did everything like we were a couple, best friends as well as lovers. She said I am the love of her life.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Narcissistic Personalities & Sociopaths Conscience is a type of judgment, that tells us what is right and wrong. It begins in early childhood, when (hopefully) parents teach a child what he can or cannot do (beginning with "no!"), then gradually how to tell right from wrong. Conscience-building continues in Sunday School, regular school and within the family and the neighborhood. We learn what's right and wrong on a personal level, a spiritual level, and a social level -- if we wrong our friends, they leave us.
I'm updating my book The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. The new version will be called Dr. Romance's Guide to Dating in the Digital Age. The following article is excerpted from the new book. A lot of the problems that come up in dating again are generated by social expectations (how other people think you should behave or things should happen) and myths (common beliefs which are not based on fact). Having such expectations and myths can shape your behavior and reactions in ways that create dating problems. Here we will examine the most prevalent of these myths.
Dear Dr. Romance: I think I am missing myself Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: My son is having a substance abuse problem. It surfaced a few months ago, he promised to stop, and I just caught him using it again. He just turned 18. What can I do to help him? Dear Reader:
Extreme makeovers are all the rage these days, with botox injection parties, and reality shows. Plastic surgery is on the rise. Many people are trying to match the extraordinary measures actors and actresses go through to look perfect on the screen. These are shortcuts taken to try to create happiness with a scalpel, a diet, or an implant, and they don't fulfill their promise. Beautiful people are not automatically happy people.
Dear Dr. Romance: You give good advice and I really like the articles you have here. I wish I could apply it to my life. I have married and divorced twice and i always tell myself "I don't know how to choose a man". But is it the man or me who is wrong? I don't know. Now, I have a new relationship and I am afraid to lose again this time. Can you tell me what to do?
Dear Dr. Romance I am in my forties, and hadn't had sex in years. I met someone and we CLICKED. We had sex on the 2nd date, I know you can't unring the bell, and I'm betting that was probably a mistake, but there is a serious physical attraction between this man and myself along with the ability to talk and laugh about anything.
Dear Dr. Romance: Nine months ago, I met a girl on Facebook. my words about many subject attract her , then she add me as her friends, and I discovered that she is lesbian. Before that, I didn'tknow there was lesbian world but when we chat I get to know her very well, many walls fell, and I am only one who sees thru this wall. She fell in love with me and she joined the school because of me and her life change.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Richard and I just indulged in our favorite December traditionwe watched our favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge! the musical starring Albert Finney) which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year.
Dear Dr. Romance, I would like your advice in my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been living together for a year and a half and known each other for 3 years. He calls me names and puts me down when I try to communicate with him and every time i want to break it off he tells me we should try again but it seems to be going in a circle. Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance:
When you use smart decisions and self-awareness to shape your life, it will reflect your deepest aspirations and your fondest dreams. 1. Make your life your own. Decide to re-decide. Re-examine your goals and dreams. Don't just assume that what you wanted yesterday is still right for you. Have your goals and dreams changed? Give yourself the freedom to decide today what you want your life to be about.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr Romance: I just wanted to say thank you for the article you wrote "Dating 101: Do Opposites Attract?" I just read it today and you have really made my day. I'm currently in an interracial relationship with a wonderful man from Africa. Not only are we from different races but he is Muslim and I am a Roman Catholic so it makes it a little more interesting. Unknowingly we have been following the guidelines you have written in your articler
Dr. Romance: More and more people are sharing quarters since the pandemic. Being social distanced all alone is difficult, and financial problems are making roommates seem more desirable. Here's how to set up a situation you'll be glad about.
To view the video, click here. Work can be the ideal environment for falling in love: you are in close proximity for a long period of time, you may have developed a good working partnership, and from there it is a short step to romance. However, workplace romance can present big problems. Dr. Romance helps you figure out the right and wrong ways to do it. Dr. Romance on Dating in the Workplace
Ever wondered how con artists can get away with all they do? They know how to charm people, and they have mastered the art of looking as if they belong. Because they have no feelings of guilt about misrepresenting themselves, they can pull it off. But you don't have to be dishonest and manipulative to be charming. You can use the power of charm to create a charmed life for yourself, and be perfectly honest, kind and caring while doing it.
Dear Dr. Romance: A lot has happened in recent weeks that has wreaked havoc on my life. A friend of twenty years, Told me he did not consider me a real friend, although I've been spending many hours helping him with gaming for years.
Dear Dr. Romance: I hope you can help me. My boyfriend passed away two years back... We were pretty much engaged, living together and everything. I thought i was over the whole thing, but now I know I'm not. A month back, or so.. i was seeing a man, and today i found out he had passed away. He reminded me so much of my late, they shared the same name, just second name being different. In the grieving process, I'm feeling the loss of both. And my late especially.
Dear Dr. Romance: If the child has not had a real relationship with her father for many years and does not see him more than 2 times per year, should a mother keep pushing a relationship with the father and child? Will it do more harm than good? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance:
3 ways to Stay Sane and Stay Married Is your spouse a control freak? It is driving you to distraction? Here are three tips to keep your relationship on track, keep you sane and stop you from going to divorce court. 1. Control freaks can be very successful. If yours is, give credit where credit is due. Don’t worry about your spouse’s controlling tendencies. Just don’t be controlled by them. If your spouse can have a sense of humor about it, then your marriage will be fine. If the control escalates into abuse, you need to get to counseling, fast.
Dear Dr. Romance: I recently read your No Cooperation? Solve it Yourself! If I am to solve the problem for myself won't that just create resentment that the other party is unwilling to help? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance: