bob-lancer

bob-lancer

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Articles by this expert

SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.

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Let's define an "impossible person" as a person who seems unwilling or unable to cooperate with you in some way that feels important to you. From your perspective, cooperating with you makes perfectly obvious sense. But this other person seems impervious to your arguments, inflexible in his or her non-compliant decision.

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Patience is faith in the time something takes. Patience is faith in living in the present moment, without pushing or forcing anything to happen. Patience is accepting things as they are, but this requires some clarification. Things are not the way you think things are. People are not who you think they are. You are not who you think you are. Your child is not who you think your child is.

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When you use feelings of disappointment to manipulate someone into giving you your way, you program yourself to relate with your experience as a defeat. This costs you your freedom. There is really nothing wrong with your situation. The present offers you every opportunity. But you bind yourself to disappointment when you express yourself as a victim of your circumstances.

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A typical parenting challenge that causes many parents frustration can be expressed in the following question: "What do you do when you want your child to do something, and he responds with: 'I don't care', or 'I can do whatever I want to do', or 'I am not going to my room', or 'try to catch me', or 'I won't eat this, you can't make me'"?

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When an adult regards a child's behavior as disruptive, disrespectful, or defiant, the adult commonly complains, "That child needs more discipline." How rare is it that one will say, "That child needs more understanding." Sometimes more firmness may indeed be in order, but even then the root-cause of the problem stems from a lack of deep and accurate understanding of the child.

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There are good reasons why parents seek alte atives to saying “No” to their children. One is that saying “No” often makes some parents feel that that they are being too negative. If this is your parenting issue with “No”, try instead to inform your child of the reason why, and of what he can do instead for an outcome he wants. For instance, if your child asks for a cookie before bedtime, instead of saying, “No” you might briefly explain: “The sugar would keep you up. But if you stop asking for a cookie now you can have one tomorrow for sure.”

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Being a parent is never a cakewalk but being a single parent is a tremendously difficult job. For the most part, single parents must hold a fulltime job, chauffer the children to and from school, extracurricular activities and sporting events. Many receive financial help for parents without adequate income while others live just barely above the income cutoff. Regardless of the financial situation, the parent child relationship can be incredibly strong and able to last a lif

January 29, 2013

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To achieve success, we need to remain on the path of personal development aimed at developing the inner strength to NOT take things personally. Reacting emotionally wastes power and blinds one from recognizing the golden opportunity to succeed that present in every situation. One of the most valuable success secrets is simply this: Reacting emotionally is the opposite of professionalism because it holds one back from professional progress. When you take something personall

August 2, 2012

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To enjoy happy, healthy relationships you need to know how to reach people. Reaching someone occurs naturally; it’s an organic process. Difficult people are not necessarily unreachable. It just requires more patience and skill for building relationships with them. When you attempt to communicate with someone you may find an open, pleasant “circuit” that seems to effortlessly link the two of you. When this happens, it means that you and the other are “ripe” for relationshi

July 23, 2012

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Our parental “job” includes instilling wisdom in our children. There are good reasons why parents would like to find an alte ative to using the word “No” with their children. You don’t want to HAVE to motivate your child to “do the right thing.” Wouldn’t you love sensible ideas to bring as much inspiration to your kids as, say, the idea of shooting off firecrackers? Having to frequently say ‘No’ can make parenting exhausting, and it causes some parents to feel that they are b

July 23, 2012

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I was recently discussing a so-called “relationship problem” with a young lady. She is 35 years old and though she says that she desperately wanted to be married with children by now, it hasn’t happened. This relationship goal of hers has been her target for a dozen years, and each year that “happily ever after” life has eluded her she has grown more unhappier with her life. She complains that all the single men that she meets turn out to be “losers”. (Another unhappy rel

July 14, 2012

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