Darlene Lancer
J.D., L.M.F.T.,M.A., Life Coach
Free
Relationships & Codependency Expert
Darlene Lancer Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Codependency, Relationships, Narcissism
- Best Sellers
- Codependency for Dummies
- Career Focus
- Marriage and Family Therapist. Life Coach, Author
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships," Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing Your True Self and Codependency for Dummies. and the 7 ebooks, including 10 Steps to Self-Esteem: The Ultimate Guide to Stop Self-Criticism, Spiritual Transformation in the Twelve Steps, "I'm Not Perfect - I'm Only Human" - How to Beat Perfectionism, Freedom from Guilt and Blame - Finding Self-Forgiveness, and How to Speak Your Mind: Become Assertive and Set Limits.
As an expert on narcissism, relationships, and codependency, I've worked with countless individuals and couples for more than 35 years to recover from trauma and codependency. See my websites, www.whatiscodependency.com and www.darlenelancer.com for FREE podcasts, meditations, and resources. Join my blog mailing list and to get a free report on 14 Steps for Letting Go.
I maintain a private practice in Santa Monica, and coach people internationally. See my website Services page for an appointment.
Darlene Lancer Audio & Video Programs
Breakup Recovery Seminar
https://bit.ly/2WbuBBI
How to Be Assertive
http://bit.ly/29OAWWW
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem
http://bit.ly/2I4yFIN
Self-Love Meditation
https://www.whatiscodependency.com/product/self-love-meditation/
Soul-Alignment-Meditation
https://www.whatiscodependency.com/product/self-love-meditation/
Darlene Lancer Books
Codependency for Dummies
http://amzn.to/1BBcrWO
10 Steps to Self- Esteem
http://bit.ly/2GwugvL
Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People
http://www.whatiscodependency.com/books-on-codependency/#5
Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You
https://amzn.to/37fueWd
Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships
https://buff.ly/3DZ6vNI
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
Maria Shriver: Hold Your Head High
It's must be cellular that a woman automatically feels humiliated when her man cheats. Maria has done nothing to be ashamed of. Too often, women feel embarrassed for their husbands' behavior, whether it's domestic violence, emotional abuse, drug or alcohol addiction, gambling, or sex addiction, and although it's fortunate that A old took responsibility for his actions, too often, those husbands shift the blame onto their wives. It's called "blaming the victim."
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The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce
Many divorces go along smoothly, but when problems occur, they usually reflect the dynamics that didn’t work in the marriage – only made worse, because divorce is one of the biggest crises you may go through. Emotions, especially fear and anger, are at their peak.There are definite pitfalls to avoid, and positive steps that can save your sanity and help you move on. All divorces are unique and vary depending on: 1. The marital relationship; 2. The reasons for the divorce; 3. Whether children are involved; and 4. Who initiated the divorce.
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Article
Living With an Addict – Alcoholic
Alcohol Living with an addict can be a living hell. Unpredictable and dangerous, yet sometimes exciting and romantic. Never knowing when we’ll be blamed or accused. Not being able to dependably plan social events. As the addict becomes more irresponsible, we pick up the slack and do more, often becoming the sole functioning parent or even the sole provider; yet we’re unable to lean on our partner for comfort or support.
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Article
Unexpected Trauma after Abuse
<img class="alignleft wp-image-13568" src="https://www.whatiscodependency.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/contemplation-Rilke.jpg" alt="" width="457" height="301" />
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Relationship as a Spiritual Path
<img class="alignleft wp-image-1720" src="https://www.whatiscodependency.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/romance.jpg" alt="Romance, Loving couple" width="431" height="330" /> A relationship can be an exciting path to the unknown. It offers an ever-present opportunity to grow—a path to spiritual transformation and mutual discovery and ultimately the divine when partners open to one another.
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Article
Why You Were Ghosted and What to Do
<img class="alignleft wp-image-13670" src="https://www.whatiscodependency.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/empty-chair-Marcelo-Jaboo-Pexels.png" alt="empty chair, being ghosted" width="411" height="356" />
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Article
Profile of a Narcissist Attractor
Often a partner of a narcissist is a narcissist attractor, but may not realize it until they’ve attracted more than one narcissist. They may have a narcissist in their family of origin, but not always, and not all children of narcissists end up with one. Not all partners of narcissists were raised in unhappy families. People who grew up loving and trusting their parents are also susceptible because they expect others to be loving and trustworthy. Thus, they are less guarded and naive to narcissistic manipulative tactics.
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Article
Soul Mates and Unconditional Love
Are you searching for a soul mate or unconditional love? Your quest can set you on an impossible journey to find an ideal partner. The problem is often twofold: No human being, nor any relationship can ever achieve perfection, and often unconditional and conditional love are confused.
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Article
Signs of lack of empathy and what you can do
<img class="wp-image-28221 alignleft" src="https://whatiscodependency.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/addict-alcoholic-addiction-shutterstock_By-Photographee.eu-sm-scaled.jpg" alt="Signs of Lack of Empathy and What You Can Do" width="458" height="305" />
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Article
Is My Relationship Toxic?
<img class="alignnone size-us_1366_500 wp-image-28693" src="https://whatiscodependency.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/couple-arguing-AdobeStock_84420001-750x500.jpeg" alt="Is My Relationship Toxic?" width="750" height="500" />
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Article
Envy, Jealousy, and Shame
Envy, jealousy, and shame are inextricably intertwined. Envy and jealousy are primal emotions that frequently overlap. They’re commonly first felt in the form of sibling rivalry and oedipal longings. A child innately wants mommy and daddy all to him or herself and feels “excluded” from the marital bond, especially if there have been parenting deficits that have led to shame and emotional abandonment. Typically, young children of heterosexual parents see their same-sex parent as a rival for their opposite parent’s love and feel both envious and jealous of their same-sex parent.
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Article
NARCISSISTS ARE CODEPENDENT, TOO
<img class="alignleft wp-image-6592 size-medium" src="https://www.whatiscodependency.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/shame-thermometer-300x300.png" alt="narcissism, shame, and codependency" width="300" height="300" />
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Websites & resources
SelfGrowth-published websites, downloads, and contributor profile websites connected to this expert.
Website
What is Codependency?
Informative articles, coaching, events, and resources for codependency.
April 17, 2012
Website
Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT
Darlene Lancer, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
September 27, 2010
Website
Darlenelancer.com
Psychotherapy offered. Numerous informative articles on relationship, spirituality, addiction, divorce,chronic pain, and more
April 20, 2009
Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Darlene Lancer
Contacting Darlene Lancer
310-458-0016