Life Beyond Guilt

One of the biggest blocks to happiness and to clear inner guidance is guilt, which is a kissing cousin of shame. I'm not talking about the naturally occurring sense of being out of alignment with Life which is a wonderful mechanism that when noticed and heeded brings us back on track and is soon forgotten. I'm talking about the toxic kind that tends to be embedded in the psyche and debilitating in that it keeps us from expressing our uniqueness and from truly being happy in life.

Guilt could be defined as a combination of fear and the belief that we should be different than what we are and that what we are is somehow the cause of pain for others; in other words, the belief that we're bad somehow. Physically, guilt is often carried in the lower abdomen and sacrum (lower part of the spine). If you should take the time to explore this most interesting of human experiences you will likely find that it is a great motivator to do anything that would take you away from actually being present to it. There is a great deal of resistance to allowing ourselves to feel guilt when it shows up, which is undoubtedly due to its nature; it doesn't feel 'good'.

So how is this kind of guilt developed? As with all human experiences, there are a number of ways this can happen but it is always in relation to someone or some group. It has to do with the way our self-perception developed and what we decided we needed to be and do in order to be acceptable (loveable). Guilt comes up when we do or say things that are in conflict with whatever we decided was the way to be in the world. As long as we stay within the narrow confines of the parameters set out by the beliefs linked to guilt we don't actually feel any guilt because there isn't anything to feel guilty about. Watch out for what happens though, when you step out of line with your own inner 'rules' (beliefs). Feelings of guilt come rushing in which are more often than not experienced as wanting to withdraw or to hideout at one end of the reaction spectrum, to getting angry and lashing out at others on the other end of the spectrum. Throughout this spectrum of reaction the main goal is to get away from feeling guilty, even though most of the time people don't even realize that's what they're experiencing; they just know they need to get away from this yucky feeling.

So what do we do about guilt? It's really quite simple, do the opposite of what you've been doing. In other words, instead of trying to get away from it at all costs, move toward it with your breath and with your gentle attention. Wherever you may be feeling discomfort or tension or pain or heaviness in your body (focus on the torso) is likely where the guilty experiences of your past have become embedded so start there. Breathe gently and as fully as you can, imagining that you are breathing deep into the darkest, densest feeling in your body. Let your focus rest there as you keep bringing in acceptance with every breath. If you've been running away from this feeling all your life and wondering why things don't work out for you this is not going to be the easiest thing to do at first, but if you sense that it's time to be free of the confines of the guilt you've felt all your life then now's a great time to make the shift.

As you allow yourself to be fully present to the sensations in your body, you'll likely notice a number of images or thoughts showing up that are most likely the beliefs that have kept this limitation in place all along. Just notice them, notice how they're decisions you made and experiences you've had based on those decisions but that they are probably not the truth, and keep bringing your gentle attention right back to the body. Let the peace of your non-judgmental focus permeate every atom, every cell where the darkness has been and let yourself experience the sweetness of Life.
Guilt is a very thick energy and is not likely to be dismantled in a few seconds. There is usually some relief right from the start but the fog generated by guilt will undoubtedly show up again in short order. Don't be fooled into believing the lies and limitations of the old decisions, bring as much loving attention to the sensations in your body again and again and again as you possibly can, knowing that the story isn't the truth about you. Then let yourself wonder; always let yourself wonder about what's possible now in the space that has opened up where the guilt had crowded in. The breath of life can now reach deep within you to fuel your deepest dreams.

Mmm, delicious.