Should I get married or should I date? How to choose a husband? How to have a happy marriage?

As you approach your teenage, it is natural for you to ponder on thoughts of meeting a life partner. Different questions regarding dating and marriage may arise in your mind, such as, “How can I straightaway marry a stranger? If I meet someone, should I not date first? How will I establish that this person will make a good partner? And ultimately if we both decide to take the big leap and get married; how do I ensure that I will have a happy and successful marriage?” Dating or Marriage? Courting is ok, but dating…? Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal, whereas dating may or may not have marriage as its goal. Mostly it is seen that dating is done with an idea that if they like someone, they will continue dating; and when the relationship with the date seems no more fun, they split and move on to seek happiness in someone else. As and when they experience lack of fulfillment from this date as well, they go onto date someone else. This cycle goes on and on, without any respect for the person, the relationship or the bond of marriage. Many a times such people are found dating even more than two or three people at the same time, and yet satisfaction never prevails in their life. First and foremost, one must introspect and ascertain in which class I fall in. Doing an honest check of ‘whether it is courtship or dating that I am interested in’ should be the first step before we decide to plunge into anything. Next, we must be mindful of the ill-effects of insincerity vis-à-vis advantages of remaining sincere in a relationship. An insincere life is a wild life. So be very strict in this matter and stop yourself proceeding in the direction of insincerity. Sincerity and commitment to just one person is the basis of a strong marital relationship. Leading an insincere life is very, very wrong. The right thing to do is: If you want to date someone, do so with a conscious decision to marry that person. Remain transparent about it with the person you are dating. And let your parents know too that you are thinking of marrying him. Introduce him to them. rnMoreover, from the very beginning, be cautious and clear about your date’s outlook too, towards this relationship. If the other person seems insincere, stop dating him altogether and get married as per your parents’ choice and advice. It is immoral and also highly damaging to keep changing partners in the pursuit of imaginary happiness. Courtship In courtship, there is a sincere intention to spend life with this particular person. The advantages of courtship are: - You get a chance to find out in what areas you are compatible, and in what areas you will need to adjust. rnYou will now have a greater appreciation of what it takes to make a relationship work. - You get an opportunity to locate a common ground that can enhance your relationship. - You get to know each other’s interests in a better manner. - You get acquainted with each other’s social circle. - Early on, you get some idea of the prospective partner’s character. You can observe how the person behaves when things get difficult or do not happen his way. - You get a rough glimpse of what life will be like, if you decide to settle down and marry him. However, while courting also, one has to be very careful when opting for it; and responsible enough too, so that you do not have to repent for anything, in future life! Ensure that you are not taken advantage of and that you do not take advantage of others. Do not involve yourself with any other boys. Marriage And whenever you decide to marry, irrespective of whether it is after dating, courting or a direct decision, do so with the understanding that marriage is a commitment for lifetime. It is a very important step, that the two of you have chosen to take today, and which has to be fulfilled forever. Criteria to consider when choosing a husband: - Make sure you are ready for the commitment. - Consult your parents. While choosing your life partner, do keep their advice and consent in mind. - Look for the character of the person you are choosing. When it comes to choosing a life partner, we normally prefer to marry someone who is good looking. However, the inner beauty i.e. a good character is what is really important to live a happy life together. - Relationships flower the best when they are based on trust, honesty and integrity. So make sure there is no deceit or doubt from the very start. - Do not rush into the marriage. Meet each other’s family members. - Understand each other’s goal in life and see how far they are compatible. How to ensure you have and a happy and successful marriage: - Accept each other happily and lovingly, without any will or want to change each other. - Have a soothing will to adjust with your spouse, and heartily compromise for his happiness, wherever and whenever necessary. - Be best friends of each other for life, such that your family and friends take an example from the unity and love you share between you. - Build the relationship on the foundation of trust and loyalty for your soulmate. - Take umpteen care of your partner’s parents. - Do not hold bad opinions about each other. And when things become tough, focus on each other’s better aspects of character. The interaction between the two of you should always result in a feeling of peace, mutual respect and humility towards each other. - Now that you have found your life long partner, never let your eyes rove, or mind wander, in the thoughts of any other person in life. Remember wherever there is insincerity, there can never be happiness. So remain completely devoted and faithful to your hubby forever. - Resolve that you will not hurt each other in the slightest manner. And if hurt happens, you will win over your partner with love and care.