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If you are reading this article you probably think you are an adult. You may very well be an adult, yet, the odds are you aren't. Yes, most of us are walking around in adult bodies, but that doesn't make us adults. Add to that the fact that it is very difficult to become an adult. The reason it ...
It seems that the mind never stops thinking. Dr. Deepak Chopra wrote that we think upwards of 50 thousand thoughts per day, and 90 % of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday. Yet, what passes for thinking in our minds isn't really thinking at all. We spend most of our time replaying ...
You are a center of influence. Every thought, emotion, word, and behavior that you offer has a ripple effect. The effect is reflected back to you in your life experience. The ripple effect impacts the lives of others. As humans we forget or don't know that we have such influence. We are, ...
It is a human tendency to categorize each other. We place labels on people and tell ourselves that is who they are. Once we create a label we look for evidence to continually prove that the label is correct. That comes from another tendency-- the need to be right. If you step back from your ...
Often people are moody, cranky, or critical and it can be distressing. When you find that people around you are acting in ways that are difficult keep in mind that it's not about you. I find this quote from The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, to be most helpful: "Don't take anything ...
Forgiveness is logical. It isn't something that you should do. It is a practice that makes sense. When you forgive you improve your well-being and influence others to improve theirs. When you forgive you empower yourself. Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself and to the world.
Every aspect of your life is connected. Workplace and home. Professional and personal relationships. Spirituality and success. I write about leadership, because in every part of life, we are leaders. We make decisions. We affect others. We want to accomplish goals. There are people in every ...
Ego is your self image. It is how you see yourself in relation to others and the world. Ego also includes the compulsion we feel to defend the image. The ego is not real. It is a concept, an idea. We have these thoughts and urges within us and we call it "ego". For something that is not real, the ego certainly gives us a lot of problems. The ego's role is to form and to protect the images you have of yourself. If you think you are a "good manager", then you will fight to protect that image whenever it seems threatened. If someone criticizes you, you will feel defensive.
Many of us speed through the day without much awareness. The whole day is about doing and then doing more. For others of us, we feel lost in our day, directionless, not sure what to do next. By the time the day is finished we often feel frustrated. We didn’t get enough done. We didn’t meet our ...
In my city of East Lansing, Michigan, I always get great service at Lou and Harry's Grill. Lou and Harry's has three locations and mostly employs college students. You would think that with an extremely transient workforce that service and quality would be inconsistent. I have probably dined ...
Who rules your mind? If you are like most people, it probably isn't you. That would require clarity. That would require discipline. Thoughts are powerful. They determine your experience, and they influence the experience of others. You can choose to be clear and to discipline your mind. The question is: Will you be in charge of what you think about today?
You already know you are responsible for your own behavior, thoughts, feelings, and your life. You know that it is not what others do, but your interpretation of what they do that creates your reaction. You know these things, and sometimes you forget these things. When you find yourself blaming, ...
Think for a moment. How do you see yourself? What opinions do you have about yourself? If you are like most people, you have some critical opinions. These opinions have grown and been maintained over time. Any negative opinions you have about yourself are opinions based on thoughts of ...
I think about God every day. For many years concepts like God and spirituality rested on the periphery of my life. They were scenery that I could admire now and then. I was a spiritual tourist, an interested sightseer, spending a little time here and there, but always returning to my "real" ...
The one thing we seem so eager to give but don't enjoy receiving is blame. We are a culture rich in blame yet poor in accountability and responsibility. Blame puts us in the neighborhood of victimhood, a place of no choices. It becomes the justification for forceful action. What if we could just release blame and accept accountability? What if we could move beyond blaming and be responsible adults? What would our workplaces look like? Our families? Our nation? More importantly, what would your interactions personally and professionally look like if you knew that there is no blame?
Most intelligent people are willing to say: “I am responsible. I am accountable.” To say and mean this is the first step. The second step is to add the word “completely”. “I am completely responsible”. This is difficult for most. When something goes wrong we tend to say: ”I am responsible ...
Years ago I went horse back riding with a friend. I had never been horse back riding. I was nervous, but I seemed to be doing okay. Suddenly, my friend’s horse took off running and so mine followed. I was scared to death. All I could think was, “Get me off this horse!” I got my wish. I fell off ...
"...the servant views any problem in the world as in here, inside one's self, not out there. And if a flaw in the world is to be remedied, to the servant, the process of change starts in here, in the servant, not out there."nfrom Servant Leadership by Robert K. Greenleaf Every waking moment of ...
What is lack? Lack is you noticing that you don’t have what you want. It is the belief that you will be okay if and when you receive what you want. Lack is a focus on the absence of what you want. Affirming. praying, and visualizing are made less effective when we offer them from a place of lack. If we are affirming or praying to get something, and we are feeling a desperate need for this something, our energy is actually calling forth more lack. The Universe is exact. Feelings of lack create lack. Feelings of abundance and gratitude create abundance and more to be thankful for.
Two people work in a retail environment. It is small and employs about six people. Customers visit throughout the day. One of these people is the manager. The other person handles issues regarding credit and group sales. For the past three years they have not spoken to each other. The manager ...
You cannot reduce dreams and goals to your size. If you dream of being a high level manager, yet your main goal is to please your boss, it is unlikely you will achieve your dream. If you dream of being wealthy, yet resent those who already have money, it is unlikely you will achieve wealth. ...
Belief in God: (Or not?) A friend of mine told me he was an Atheist. I asked him what that meant. He said: "It means I don't believe in God." I asked him: "What do you mean by God?" He said: "A divine being who created the world and who judges us." I responded: "I don't believe in that god either, but I'm not an Atheist. When someone asks me: "Do you believe in God?" It doesn't compute. It's like asking me if I believe in that tree. God is obvious to me, not something I need to believe or not believe in.
Once, long ago, the Creator called for a gathering of all the angels at the center of the Universe. When all were gathered, a beautiful crystal globe was presented to the group. The Voice of the Creator spoke: "This globe is the Globe of Truth. A messenger is needed to carry the Globe of ...Once, long ago, the Creator called for a gathering of all the angels at the center of the Universe. When all were gathered, a beautiful crystal globe was presented to the group. The Voice of the Creator spoke: "This globe is the Globe of Truth.
To polarize is to divide into sharply opposing groups or sides. We sometimes see polarization as a problem, for example in politics. People have opposing views in the areas of gun control, abortion, gay marriage, and health care. The polarity that we see is not a problem once you understand that polarity is life on earth.
In human groups culture is always at work. Whether it is a workplace organization, school, spiritual center, community, club, or family, there is a structure that guides behavior. The structure is based on choices made over time by various leaders in the group. It becomes "The way we do things." It feels like the way things are is, well, the way things are. This is true, except the way things are can be changed.
To polarize is to divide into sharply opposing groups or sides. We sometimes see polarization as a problem, for example in politics. People have opposing views in the areas of gun control, abortion, gay marriage, and health care. The polarity that we see is not a problem once you understand that polarity is life on earth.
You have a purpose. You have specific gifts, talents, and abilities that are uniquely yours. At the intersection of “what you love to do” and “what you are good at” you will find your purpose. Do you know your purpose? Do you know why you are here on this planet? If not, then it’s time to ask ...
THIS IS THE PART where the hero (me) is unmasked. I play the role of leader. People see me as William or Bill. I'm the man with the answers. I'm the man who is in control. I have it all together. People speak around the table and then they look at me. They look at me as if to say: "What do you ...
Success for organizations takes single mindedness. Determine what you want and then take unwavering action toward it. Leaders in organizations who talk about treating people right, but in reality treat people with disrespect, create pain and resentment. People see the gap between what is said ...
One of our presidential candidates (Barack Obama) wrote a book entitled: The Audacity of Hope. If you are feeling down and things look bleak, hope tells you, “This, too, will pass.” Hope tells you that things can get better. Yet, when we hope that things will turn out for our best ...
Many people talk about changes occurring in late 2012. Call it a celestial speed-up, a shift in mass consciousness, awakening, or evolution in consciousness, but don't get too excited about it yet. If it is happening now, it's for adults only.
You are a light to the world. You are a living example of what all of us can achieve. Your personal transformation helps to transform all of us. People who are helping to transform the planet are called light workers. They are bringing light, a higher energy, into life on earth at this time. ...
What drives you? What do you want to come of your life? These are essential questions for each of us. Many cannot answer them. Yet, if you want to have meaning in your life, you need to answer these questions for yourself. Consider creating a core idea. A core idea is an idea that is central ...
Hope is the ability to see a brighter future. It inspires us to to keep on making the effort, to keep on living. Hope is the stuff that movies on the Hallmark Channel are made of. Throughout history people have been encouraged to have hope. There are seasons and reasons to have hope. Hope is necessary. Yet, hope by itself, is not enough. Hope, left on its own becomes a drug, an addictive condition that keeps us focused on the future and unable to deal with the present. If you really want to solve problems in your life or in your work, your hope will need some help.
Changing our thoughts from a predominantly negative to a predominantly positive orientation has physical implications. According to brain research expert, Dr. Pat Wolfe in Brain Matters: Translating Research into Classroom Practice, the brain is the only organ that sculpts itself. Our experience becomes our physiology. Several studies have shown there to be actual structural changes in the brain as a result of learning experiences.
I have read that baby elephants in captivity are chained by one leg to a post. They try hard to free themselves but are unable. After awhile they give up. When they grow up, they believe they still can't free themselves, even though they have the strength to break free at any time. If the story is true, humans are a lot like that. A good many of our ideas about ourselves were created when we were small, powerless, and defenseless. We still carry those identities within us. They activate automatically in the face of challenges.
Mr. Obama and Mr. Boehner need a vision. I'm sure they both have ideas about where they want to lead, but there is no joint vision. Any organization, whether it is a small shop with three staff members, or a country of 300 million, must be vision-driven if it is to succeed. If we don't ask ourselves the question: "What do we want to come of this?" and answer that question, we are nowhere. Is it possible that a large, diverse group of people could agree on a vision? I believe it is.
Recently I attended my high school class reunion. Back in high school there were groups,njust as there are in most high schools today. I was on the fringes of the group thatnincluded most of the popular kids. I was shy and didn't really feel a part of that group. When I think about it, it wasn't ...
“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” Dennis Wholey Everyone has expectations. We expect people to treat us a certain way. As leaders we expect people to perform well and behave well. If you are a leader, it is your job to be powerful. If you're up to it, you have the potential to increase the well-being for yourself and for others by communicating clear expectations. Expectations are not demands.
Perhaps nothing is as dangerous as a leader who is certain he knows what he is doing. Often so-called leaders and experts believe they know all there is to know, and that their knowledge is so complete, that they cannot make mistakes. The ego is a know-it-all. It likes to be right. Yet there is ...
Things happen. People become angry or upset. We can say and do unkind things to each other. In conflict, we want to be right. This is the human condition. There is always an answer. The answer is you. The question is: "Who will be the adult?" Who will be the one who is most sane and can bring a sense of peace or resolution to a situation? It's you.
Becoming an adult is a sorting out process. We put away the aspects of ego that no longer serve us, and we nurture those aspects that do serve us. At one point in my life I put away sarcasm. I thought it was humorous and fun, but it was hurtful to other people. In the past, sarcastic comments easily came to mind and then out of my mouth.
I feel naked. As I am writing this I am actually wearing clothes. It’s thirty degrees outside. I just published my first novel—Human Adulthood: A Spiritual Romance. I have written and published four non-fiction books. There certainly is a level of vulnerability with those, especially since I disclose quite a bit about myself. Fiction is different.
I define an adult as someone who takes 100 % responsibility for his or her life and situation. This article and you tube series will explore what it means to be an adult. These times are calling for leaders to be adults. This is Part One, Moving Beyond Blaming. Every blaming thought you hold ...
Every relationship has a goal, yet we often don’t know what that goal is. If the relationship is personal, we might think the goal is happiness. If it is professional, we might think the goal is to be profitable or to help each other (teamwork/cooperation). It seems that goals such as happiness or teamwork should be easier, yet most of us struggle with relationships. Many relationships are fraught with disappointment and frustration. In reality, our level of frustration or success has less to do with our desire for happiness or prosperity and more to do with the true goals that we set.
At this time of year many of you give gifts. The definition of a gift is: "something given willingly to another person without payment." True giving is without expectation of a return. We give for the joy of giving. As you spend time searching online or in the malls for your gifts to give, I ask you to look within yourself for gifts to give that are infinitely more valuable. These gifts cost no money, yet the effects of these gifts is profound. Your gifts will benefit your receivers, and will ultimately benefit you more.
You are a center of influence. You are a nucleus. Everything you think, feel, say, and do has a ripple effect. Your effect ripples outward and affects the world. You affect the people in your life--in your family, in your workplace, in your community--you have an effect. Unfortunately, most ...
Great leadership is about power, yet it is not about power over others. The power of a great leader is to create an environment where others are empowered to offer their best. This is not working through people where others become extensions of you, the leader. This is dedicating yourself to the growth and development of others. Great leadership is service to others. Service to others, if it is to be effective, must be egoless. In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins discusses the leaders of great companies.
We read about the Law of Attraction and it seems so simple. Change your thoughts and you change your life. What could be simpler? Most of us discover that it may be simple, but it isn't easy. We find it difficult because it is about more than just changing our thoughts. The Law of Attraction ...
Do you know what you want this year? You don't need to know how you will achieve it yet. "What" comes before "how". Most people can articulate what they don't want, but they have difficulty in being clear about what they do want. "Not this!" and "Something different" are not intentions. "Getting through the year" is aiming pretty low.