Browse Emotional Intelligence

The word intelligence comes from a Latin derivation meaning “entering through the lines.” People are always using their intelligence to enter or read into the lines of what you are saying or not saying. They fill in the white spaces between your words almost automatically, because it gives them a sense of understandin…

How the Shiny Light Destroys Relationship and Our Leadership Credibility What percent of time do you think you operate on automatic from your habits? Research tells us that it is 95% of the time. What are you missing out on when you are doing things on autopilot every day? Often what this failed focus leads to ignorin…

40% of organizations say they don’t have enough qualified leaders. Plus, the recent recession has lost thousands of jobs including leadership positions. Add to that the retiring of Baby Boomers and you can see the opportunity awaiting for people like you. Finally the economy is growing again offering people the opport…

Michael received his 360 degree assessment feedback and looked at the summary page. What quickly jumped out to him on almost every competency was that his own self-scoring for his leadership were higher than his team's scores for him. He embarrassingly laughed and said, “I guess they don’t see all the good things I am…

I was coaching James a new leader who had three direct reports. After about 6 months he was given another team of four to supervise. I talked to James about meeting with them individually and getting to know them, their work challenges and strengths. Then encouraged him to have a team meeting to go over his expectatio…

The Manager Misstep is explained and the VIVID Tool is highlighted. Are you guilty of the Manager Misstep? • When your direct reports or team come to you do you step in too soon without fully hearing what they want? • Do you step in the wrong direction, suggesting something they already tried? • Do you step on their i…

How to get your energy, focus and performance back when tapped out? This is the second in a series of exploring the main diversions and distractions that keep us from being our best leaders. • How are we captured and detained from being our best leaders, truly developing others and having them grow their focus and lea…

We are all on automatic and consequently overwhelmed. How can we tune back in? Daniel Goleman states in his newest book Focus, “our attention and focus are under siege.” We are kidnapped and diverted from being our best in the moment. How are we captured and detained from being our best leaders, truly developing other…

Five Emotional Intelligence Strategies with Others: Mastering the Moment In the last blog I started with strategies to raise your emotional intelligence for yourself. In this next in the series we will look at strategies to raise your emotional intelligence with others. Mastering the Moment Your success or underperfor…

Five Strategies to Raise Emotional Intelligence: Mastering the Moment, Part One Self-Development In the last blog I wrote about why you need Emotional Intelligence. In this multi part series we will look at the main strategies and actions to raise your Emotional Intelligence and propel you to be a top performer. These…

What are the top reasons you need to develop and enhance your Emotional Intelligence (EI)? After working with thousands of executives and leaders and focusing on helping them raise their Emotional Intelligence for the last 20 years, both individually and in their organizations, I wanted to summarize some of the key be…

Teamwork is very popular and a necessity in organizations, but it is an unnatural act that takes a strategy, discipline and practice. Most organizations talk about teamwork and put a group of workers together and say “you are a team now.\" Duly formed the team is marched out onto the field to succeed or fail. We know…

It's true. I hear voices in my head. I don't talk about it much. But maybe it's a good time to start. You see, I'm a complex person. A lot goes on inside my head that no one else ever realizes. The main voice I hear comes from my ego. My ego takes information from the world - from my ...

If you want to learn how to stop obsessive thoughts, the first step involves understanding exactly what's happening to you right now. It's like you're spinning on a hamster wheel. Like a treadmill that just runs in circles without ever getting anywhere. Why? Because you lack TRACTION. You ...

Top 3 Reasons Why Applicants Fail Their Background Check and what you can do to prevent it from happening to you. Finding a job in this economy can be a daunting and difficult task. In a competitive job market employers become more stringent and will disqualify applicants that provide incorrect or incomplete information about themselves over the past 10 years. When employers find discrepancies between the information you provided and what they find out in your background chec

I had a good crying spell yesterday. Actually, I felt pretty okay about it. Because it showed me where my boundaries of pain were, and it showed me I was going into those boundaries. As a way to expand myself. In other words, the crying spell was a signal, or a manifestation, of the process ...

People-pleasers dread conflicts and wish to avoid them (they are conflict-averse) - hence their need to believe that they are universally liked. Always pleasant, well-mannered, and civil, the conflict-averse people-pleaser is also evasive and vague, hard to pin down, sometimes obsequious and, generally, a spineless “non-entity”. These qualities are self-defeating as they tend to antagonize people rather than please them. But conflict-aversion is only one of several psychodyn

They're found in every work place. Regardless of how fortunate you are to be working with a great group of supportive caring coworkers, there always seems to be at least one that makes your work life less than ideal. They always seem to be looking for opportunities to impress the boss and spend an inordinate amount of time speaking just to hear themselves. While they can be mean and condescending to people under them they are sweet angels, the ideal team players, whenever their direct report or other superiors are around.

Discipline Tough love is the best way to handle disruptive and/or destructive behaviour and following through is the key to instilling the message. Know the difference between natural and logical consequence and teach your child in it. - A natural consequence is when a child is playing with matches and accidentally burns their finger.

I speak to people everyday about the importance of emotions and feelings in our daily life. Most of them are completely numbed and all they can do is nod their head while reading my words or simply sigh when I’m finished speaking. They’re knee deep in symptoms of mental illness; depression or an anxiety disorder, or both. They have poor eating habits, never relax and never exercise. Most of them hate their jobs, are struggling to make ends meet and have a distant marriage rel

It seems almost a cliche'. "Avoid negative people. Eliminate them from your life! They'll only bring you down. One bad apple..." On the surface, it seems like good advice. We all want to feel good. Happy. Successful. How can you feel good if you're around someone who's miserable? ...

For most of us, the subconscious mind is a curious and untameable beast. It lurks in the shadows, awaiting an opportunity to seize control of our willpower and force us to abandon our goals for the temptation of the moment. Dozens of techniques and disciplines such as positive affirmations, self-hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming and creative visualization have been created for the sake of gaining control over the passions of the subconscious mind. Yet even these strategi

The whole point of a color personality test is to measure your personality. By doing something as straightforward as picking your favorite colors, it is possible to actually determine not only your present state of emotions, but so much more. For instance, a color personality test is said to be able to detect even the future behaviors that you will exhibit. All it takes is picking your favorite color. If you think that a color personality test is all hype or just scientifical

Who is the person in your life who treats you the best? Who watches out for you, notices when you are hungry, tired, lonely, angry and then takes care of you? Who knows what you are thinking, so you don’t even have to say a word? Who knows all your favorite things, how you like best to be comforted? Who is the person whose respect you seek, whose appreciation you earn, whose love goes the deepest? Did you say, “I am!” I hope so. Our relationship with ourselves is our pr

It is said that Health Care Providers are prone to Compassion Fatigue at one point or another. The best of us are more likely to burn-out when extending our willingness to provide healing support beyond our capacity or in so trying circumstances that we fail to refuel rapidly enough to face the demand. As you know, a breach to our inner core may be caused by exposure to some element we are more sensitive to, leaving us vulnerable.

Five Critical Exercises to Help You Figure Out What You Really Want in Life "Life is not a matter of chance...it is a matter of choice. "rn— Ka

Psst! Abuse. Shhh! Voicing openly on the subject of abuse is still largely considered taboo and best kept as ‘civilized’ society's dirty little ‘bully secret’. When you think about it, it’s quite inconceivable that in every society bullying as domestic abuse is more acceptable than unacceptable. In fact, there are millions of people who never admit to being ‘abused’; they either accept it as part of their upbringing or it’s so deeply hidden inside that they find it too painful to face so “it’s best not to go there”. Wrong!

We know what organizations think motivates people. But the research says money isn’t an effective motivator. By the 1960s researchers were showing that paying employees a miserly wage or salary is an effective way to destroy their motivation, but once you are paying them enough, any additional dollars won’t add much to their drive to succeed. But the news for leaders and trainers is good. Research reveals motivators that cost nothing, are simple to use and provide us with a valuable checklist to make our training more effective.

Teaching Skills No matter the age, consistency is the key to teaching good habits and hygiene with the parent being the most influential example. You will find that children will mimic their parents in practically everything and will reflect a lot more back when they become a young adult. Children learn faster when the parent is interacting on their level, such as getting down on the floor and putting their toys away along side them. Walk them through things at a pace that they can follow as they have very short attention spans even without ADHD.

Life can be a slow and inarticulate teacher. Yet a few simple, proven ideas can give us all far more control over our lives. Researchers who observe people who succeed in business, study, sport and relationships are revealing some valuable information about the way top achievers think. For me, the biggest surprise is, not so much what they think, but how much difference it makes to the whole of their lives. SECRET 1: CHOICEr

A stagnant stigma Let us take good look at the stagnant stigma surrounding abuse and see abuse for what it really is: an oppressed, suppressed, repressed mighty universal power that has been stolen – mostly feminine. Now look closer. It takes extraordinary resilience and endurance to contain such compressed energy in the cells of our bodies, as well as our psyche. And, since it is an inherent and infinitely expanding energy, it was never meant to be suppressed.

A school’s complete body of students will be impacted upon when the sudden death of a student’s parent becomes known.

rnby Sheila Pearl, M.S.W. rnHave you ever fantasized about living a life without any problems? A life that is neat and tidy, with no mess? If your life is anything like mine, you might have started your day by putting out fires, cleaning up some kind of mess, solving some kind of problem. Just when you thought you had everything all figured out, just when everything was beginning to run smoothly...bang! Something happened that created a disruption in your plans; something occ

Our emotions got us into the recession. They can keep us there, or get us out of it. Resilience is the essential ingredient for thriving when budgets are cut, sales are down, when our jobs are threatened or gone, or when we are simply overwhelmed by it all. People who lack resilience can go into a downward spiral of lost confidence, worry, poor motivation, negative thinking and depression.

The other day I was driving down a four lane road at about 3:00 in the afte oon. There was light traffic and I was in the right lane. All of a sudden this car cuts right in front of my as he swerves into my lane and THEN he hits his brakes. My first impulse was to get both of my hands ...

The notion to lose weight can come from something as simple as an innocent remark, such as, "Haven't you put on a couple of pounds?" Depending on your personality, there's a whole new life issue that you hadn't explored yet, and for some sensitive personalities, it's a dangerous place to go.

Fiona was Corrie’s manager at a branch of a large financial institution that had branches across the U.S. Europe and Asia. They had recently come up with a new process that Fiona was hoping that the organization would adopt throughout their operations. As Corrie was instrumental in developing ...

At the end of the unit meeting Jeremy once again felt very frustrated. Janice and Alan had once again taken up the majority of the time, talking about things which he felt were trivial and inconsequential. It seemed to him that every little thing that they did they had to embellish it so that it would look like it was some huge accomplishment. Jeremy, on the other hand, did have some success which merited attention. Over the last couple of months he had thought up and launched a couple of major initiatives which were quite successful.

“A true history of human events would show that a far larger proportion of our acts are the result of sudden impulse and accident than of reason of which we so often boast”. Albert Cooper Have you ever spoken out in anger and regretted the words almost as soon as they came out? Ever acted without thinking out the consequences of your actions? If you are you are certainly not alone. Many high profile people have had their careers ruined because of one brief moment when their mouths went into action before their thoughts could stop them.

Partnership Driving Partnership Driving, is a method of driving in which the passenger is designated by the driver as a partner in driving. The two set up an informal contract between them that expresses the terms they mutually agreed on. The contract is for one trip only, and needs to be renewed each time. Here is an example of a typical Partnership Driving Agreement or PDA: 1. I, the driver, designate you the passenger, as my driving partner for this trip. 2. As my driving

Dealing with difficult people is never easy. You can't do this successfully unless you have and approach that enables you, to control what you can and eliminate that you cannot. You are in control of so much more than you realize when it comes to dealing with difficult people, and your emotional intelligence is the key to getting past the problems they create. Step 1: Rise Above Difficult people are so tough to deal with because their behavior is so irrational. Without ques

An organization is about the products it creates or the services it provides, but an organization is also about people: customers, consumers and employees. Without these an organization simply doesn’t exist. As an employee in an organization, building positive relationships with people is as important a skill as knowing how to forecast market trends, draft a proposal or weld widgets. Social Awareness is an emotional intelligence competency that illuminates ideal social behav

Its stating the obvious but our bodies respond physically to how we think and feel. This is the 3rd article in a series of 4 describing how emotions impact health and how we can use this fact to improve our wellbeing. The previous article is here . Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognise, assess and ultimately control emotions. Author and brain and behavioural science journalist Daniel Goleman describes Emotional Intelligence as “the capacity to recognise our own

The physical brain

For more than a decade, people from all organizational levels and from a broad spectrum of industries and businesses have participated in programs to help them enhance their Emotional Intelligence (EI) skills. While the participants' various roles have presented them with quite different pressures and challenges, the one factor all these people have in common is the emotions they experience. When people develop EI skills, they are able to become internally self-managed and capable of making their greatest contributions.

As human beings, we are blessed with some amazing super powers. These are the abilities we have that can, when used properly, transform our lives from places of misery and suffering into lives filled with joy and blessings. Wanna guess what they are? Love, gratitude, decision, and commitment are high on the list. Choice is always my number one. Here’s the thing about our super powers. They are always there, they have been there from the very beginning. We don’t pay much a

We are exhorted by personal development professionals, including me, to have a positive outlook, to remain optimistic, and to eradicate negative thinking. But let’s face it, these are tough economic times and there can be days when we struggle a bit, when we feel out of sorts, under pressure, or when we are just having a low energy day.

Biological Factors - ADHD – If you have a high-energy problem child, have him/her tested for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). If they have it, learn as much as you can about it and change the child's diet to exclude triggers like foods high in refined sugars (sucrose, dextrose), foods containing dyes (kool-aid), and heavily-processed foods. Try to avoid drugs like Ritalin as it may make things weird and children won't remember to take it on their own at school.

Teach your child in the art of life and at the same time learn about who he/she is. Parenting begins the moment a child is born. Whether you are a little or a lot involved in raising the child, the guidelines are the same with consistency being the key to making it a part of the child's character. How active your are in your child's life reveals what kind of parent you are. Even a deadbeat parent is being a parent, just not a good one, and there is that part in a child that knows it as neglect. Being a parent is a state of mind.

Deadbeat Parents This is someone who never grew up themselves and usually clings to their own parents too much or disassociates altogether. They are in fact mostly men, but women do it, too. On the other hand you can find a deadbeat parent right in the next room, leaving all of the child rearing up to the other parent or the television.

For most of us our goal in life is to be comfortable. For instance, we want just enough money to be able to live a “comfortable life”.rn rnWe don’t necessarily seek the passion of fulfilling great visions, or the other extreme of apathy and despair. For many of us our lives are focused on securing an as comfortable and pain-free existence as possible. However, painful situations do inevitably come in life, and whilst they are painful, they can bring a gift. The gift is

Let's get controversial. Formal business letters are not more professional; they're just stuffy. They're not better service; they're aloof and cold and say, 'This is our routine letter; we couldn't be bothered writing one especially for you'. Any manager who insists on formal language for business letters and reports is wrong. There, it's time someone said it.

We all listen, but there is a big difference between receiving information, and actually understanding what is being said. For many of us our main focus whilst listening is to pick up clues to respond to. This is not necessarily wrong, but the difference is our intention in listening. Are we listening to hear and understand what the other person is saying, or are we listening only in order to refine our point of view. As an example, we might have conflicting points of view th

A little blitz to cleanse the body and get back on track always is welcome when that winter padding or muffin belly appears. Keep it simple. It’s a <back to the basics> moments. Here’s my routine, my little tune-up. Whether you stick to it a week or a month, it usually energizes you. It’s like taking the time to pamper yourself and your body loves it! 1. Eat 5 shares of veggies, 3 fruits and two 4 onces of meat, fish or protein per day. Add 2 slices of whole wheat bread with light margarine or a tiny bit of butter.

I cried this morning and asked myself if there was another way to deal with my bittersweet emotions. Keep reading to the end and let the wisdom of our cat mommy, Kiki, show you the best way to deal with your emotions when saying goodbye to your best friend. Today, our baby kitten Ami (which means ‘friend’ in French) left the nest. The last eight weeks we were blessed to be part of a cat world that showed us the ease and grace of animals while growing up. It was refreshing

rnMy soul sometimes feels it needs to take a leap off of a cliff. I find myself watching reruns, just to bide my time until something better comes along. There are a million other things I could be doing at this time, yet I choose to spend my time watching "mindless" tv. I don't necessarily think tv is mindless, but if I have already seen the episode, I do not think I receive much stimulation from it. I feel like I need an escape...an escape from endless work, routine days, a

The older we get – the more we forget – or so it seems. When I began my personal growth journey for recovery I began remembering the most traumatic events that transpired when I was a child. After researching information conce ing memories, I realized that some of the things I was remembering that happened in my childhood might not be accurate. Why - you ask? I am an adult now remember a child’s perception of what happened. When I was a child and experienced a sniper crawlin

By Frosty Wooldridge While growing up, you faced many challenges. You tackled schoolbooks that demanded your attention to gain knowledge. Your teachers busted your butt with homework assignments. Your parents piled on chores such as mowing the lawn, washing the car, taking out the trash, cleaning dishes and worst of all, picking up your room. You quickly learned that life on this planet demanded you take care of things. You discovered “responsibilities.” You also discovered

If you are considering volunteering and are wondering if you can really make a difference. The simple answer is “Yes!” A single person that volunteers at the Society of St. Vincent de Paul joins forces with over 16,000 other people who volunteer their time and talents to help the homeless and working poor in Arizona. One person volunteering can and does make a difference. Why volunteering is important? Each year, St. Vincent de Paul moves over 10 million pounds of food th

Authentic : 1. Of undisputed origin; genuine. 2. Conforming to fact and therefore worthy of trust, reliance, or belief We hear this term so often in this world of ours as we become increasingly aware of the need to know ourselves and achieve life balance. How can you tell if some-one really is authentic or the real-deal?r

Most people experience life as a roller-coaster of different emotional states, accepting without question that emotions are something that just happen in response to life events. In any given day, you may experience a range of states, some positive and some that are negative or distressing. The emotional state we are in is so important as it affects how we behave and the results we get. If you are feeling positive and happy, of course the whole world seems better and more int

HOW TO KEEP GREAT STAFF Make them Feel Special

A total blunder may set you back. However, should you encompass a radical failure rather than a mere scrape, it would benefit you to analyze and reflect on the every step taken to reach your goal. It may well be that you hadn’t taken the time to envision all possibilities before selecting the best paths towards goal achievement. Ask yourself the following questions.

There’s nothing more frustrating and disheartening than feeling that your boss is undermining your efforts to do your best at work. Maybe it seems intentional, maybe it seems just who s/he is. Whatever the origin, the toll on your morale and performance is heartbreakingly wasteful. What to do? You’ve almost certainly tried everything you could think of. Maybe you’ve managed to largely insulate yourself from contact with him or her, so your anger and frustration erupt less o

1. Change the cause of emotion. Fix the thoughts, fix the emotions. Circumstances do not cause emotions – rather, your thoughts and attitudes about those circumstances do. the only exception is when emotion is driven by a physical chemical imbalance in the brain, which can be identified and treated effectively with medication. nn2. Realize that thought is not the same as logic. Logic is a system for reasoning, and reasoning is what you do with your thoughts. You may be bril

As a leader, you will be called upon to solve a variety of problems. People will seek out your expertise to enhance performance and productivity. Your people skills will be sought out to facilitate, even mediate at times. Your wisdom will build your reputation and increase your responsibility to others. It is therefore in your best interest to constantly improve your skills and be up to date on methods and systems to enhance performance, productivity and skills. Your professional growth will also be closely linked to your self-growth.

The question is not can one sustain leadership, but rather can someone be a leader and maintain a low negative resonance in the workplace and expect compliance and growth in a business where they are in a position of authority? What do you think? Over the next few paragraphs we will explore this ...

Let me begin with a short story… Brian and Martha were classmates in their high school. While Brian was voted the most popular student for his friendliness and charm, Martha was not so popular but she was an intellectually brilliant student with high hopes for her future. She found it difficult to mingle with most of the students as they were not as smart as she was. Years later, Martha is a lawyer; however she still has the same problem of forming relationships. On the oth

It may seem like we never learn absolutely everything about our bodies and how to best take care of them, but there are some good guidelines as well as other people's experiences that can help immensely. Health A healthy body starts with healthy thoughts. We can see how our own body responds to the life style we give it. For example, too much stress can cause weight gain because of the release of the hormone, cortisol. Stress can also cause weight loss because of a nervous stomach.

A situational judgement test is a type of psychometric test designed to unpick how candidates react in different situations commonly seen in the workplace. As a result, they’re a popular tool for employers looking to hire decisive, efficient, logical thinkers. The test normally involves a set of hypothetical scenarios, followed by a selection of potential responses. The scenarios will be chosen carefully to reflect the kind of challenges you’ll come up against at a specif

Relly Nadler shares what is the leadership gap, and how does it impact you? Are you ready to step up as a star performer? Get 2-hours of free leadership development training at https://truenorth.infusionsoft.com/app/page/eilearning-landing-page